First visit from one of my brothers for months (OT)

In article
,
"Smokie Darling (Annie)" wrote:

snip

Family was created to force us to be with people we would not
necessarily choose to be around - Rabbi David Wolpe (paraphrased by
Smokie Darling).

On the other hand, somebody else once said, "Friends are the family we
choose."

Baird

--
You know you're getting old when Muzak plays the Top 40 of your salad days.

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...
I was surprised to see him on Saturday as he hadn't been in touch since
before my recent operation, although he knew about it.
He was a bit sniffy that my house was not as tidy as he thought it should
be, which is surprising as he never lifts a finger in his own house but
lets his wife do it all. My garden was more overgrown that he would like
too. I got the impression he thought I was a bit lazy.
I reminded him that I'd been quite ill recently and had been unable to do
it myself. I said he might have sent his wife to tidy the house and
himself to do the garden if he was that bothered and indeed it might have
made me feel better so why didn't he think of it as it would helped me so
much?
Total silence. Good.
This is the little boy that I taught to read before he went to school
which gave him so much advantage that he gained a degree in biology and
got a great job.
Is it too much to ask him to help me now?

I certainly never taught him to let his wife do all the domestic tasks
when she works too.

Tweed


That is incredibly rude. What does he care for anyway? None of his
business.

And he certainly should help you out, and you shouldn't have to ask.

I'm sorry, this must hurt you.
Karla

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...

"Magic Mood Jeep" wrote in message
...

A few words about your brother: ungrateful little _________________ (fill
in the blank)

Yes he is. I was 13 when he was born and 15 for my other brother who
lives just a mile away and gave me one meal two days after I came out of
hospital and hasn't been in contact since.
I did not want to bother my aunt again with looking after me for days as
she has enough to do with my uncle recently breaking his hip, so I was
hoping my brother might step up to the plate. Nope.
They've both forgotten what I did for them. I made flash cards when they
were 3 to teach them to read to give them a good start in life. Which it
did, and they both earn more money than I do. I bought them Tonka toys so
they would give up their soothers in return.
All I ask is they acknowledge I need some help now and will well, help.
Fat chance.
The last phone conversation I had with my brother, he suggested I got rid
of all my chickens and Francis Drake "in case you cannot look after them
because of your health"

He did not mention Boyfriend, although when he was here he referred to him
as "it"
Boyfie was in the kitchen and my brother asked if I could put "it"
outside.
He didn't need to ask, Boyfie took one look at him and was gone.
I don't blame him.
I must have done something wrong rearing this brother, my other brother
has Tigger who he spent a fortune on repairing his jaw after a road
accident. Tigger is fine now.
I would like to make friends with him but he thinks I am the pits. I try
to to stroke him but he just says Oh, F.O and disappears out of the cat
door. Can't help liking him though, he is very good with the children.
Myself, had I kittens to rehome I would not have given one to my brother
with 3 small children. I would have been wrong. Children are happy with
the cat, cat is happy with the children.
One of the children described Tigger as her brother. My brother said
"Tigger is a cat, he's not your brother."
She disagreed. As far as she is concerned Tigger is her brother. She
will not be moved from this idea.

Tweed

You struck gold with your niece!
Karla

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...
(snip)
There is a problem because I have found half sisters and brothers through
Genes Reunited. I knew my father had other children and now I've found
them.
My two brothers who I was brought up with since 11 had a different father
so when I found my new family they went berserk. Why?

Because it will affect their inheritance if I haven't made a will

LOL

Well, that completes a not very pretty picture. But sadly, very common.

Please give Boyfie a pet from me, I'm sorry he got called "it". That drives
me crazy..
Karla

Christina Websell wrote:
snip
One of the children described Tigger as her brother. My brother said
"Tigger is a cat, he's not your brother."
She disagreed. As far as she is concerned Tigger is her brother. She will
not be moved from this idea.

Tweed

Your niece sounds delightful. :-) When I stayed with my sister a couple of
weeks ago she apologised for her untidy house. I said "who cares, so long as
Lucky is happy."
--
Adrian (Owned by Snoopy, Bagheera & Shadow)
Cats leave pawprints on your heart
http://community.webshots.com/user/clowderuk

"Kreisleriana" drtmuirATearthlink.net wrote in message
m...

"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...
I was surprised to see him on Saturday as he hadn't been in touch since
before my recent operation, although he knew about it.
He was a bit sniffy that my house was not as tidy as he thought it should
be, which is surprising as he never lifts a finger in his own house but
lets his wife do it all. My garden was more overgrown that he would like
too. I got the impression he thought I was a bit lazy.
I reminded him that I'd been quite ill recently and had been unable to do
it myself. I said he might have sent his wife to tidy the house and
himself to do the garden if he was that bothered and indeed it might have
made me feel better so why didn't he think of it as it would helped me so
much?
Total silence. Good.
This is the little boy that I taught to read before he went to school
which gave him so much advantage that he gained a degree in biology and
got a great job.
Is it too much to ask him to help me now?

I certainly never taught him to let his wife do all the domestic tasks
when she works too.

Tweed


This makes me feel so sad-- I think brothers and sisters should be close,
and I am rather unhappy about my relationship with my brother, at the
moment, although it's not exactly like what you describe. I wish I could
find a magic formula that would bring me and my brother, and you and
yours, and Jill's and her's, and everybody else's back together.

(((((((((Christina))))))))))

--
Theresa and Dante

Stinky Forever: http://pets.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh



Yes, (((((Christina)))))

Theresa, sometimes there is no going back. Unfortunately, family members
are often the least considerate. I don't expect to mend fences with my
middle brother. He got greedy and wanted to be in control of everything.
He was the least helpful and hindered me the most in my completion of my
appointed duties as executrix. (I'm still not done, by the way... the estate
cannot be officially settled until August and then I have tax forms to file
in October.)

I sent my brother an email and offered to drop off my grandmother's china
when I went back to Memphis (it was stored there). I told him when I'd be
in town and said I could drop it off. I never heard a word from him. So
guess what? The china moved here with me. I still have it and here it will
stay. He was too stubborn to reply to my email, to call me or whatever.
Just so happens it is the most expensive of all the china in the family.
Guess what? He missed out. All because he wouldn't reply to my email.
Ungrateful, that's what he is. I did all the work taking care of our
parents, my mother, and both of their estates. He got money, the furniture
of his choice delivered from this house without any effort on his part. I
extended an olive leaf, he ignored it. Sorry, I'm done.

I do wish Christina's brothers would do more to help her. I'd have handed
that one a broom. If you don't like the way I keep house when I just got
out of the hospital, here, deal with it. I completely understand her
frustration.

Jill

Christina wrote:

I must have done something wrong rearing this brother, my other brother has
Tigger who he spent a fortune on repairing his jaw after a road accident.
Tigger is fine now.

I remember that he was allowed outside even though he really was too
young. Is he more street-savvy now? Or is he kept indoors?

One of the children described Tigger as her brother. My brother said
"Tigger is a cat, he's not your brother."
She disagreed. As far as she is concerned Tigger is her brother. She will
not be moved from this idea.

Smart kid. When I was a kid, the animals were more "family" to me than
the human family.

--
Joyce ^..^

To email me, remove the XXX from my user name.

On Jun 18, 2:06*pm, "Christina Websell"
wrote:
I was surprised to see him on Saturday as he hadn't been in touch since
before my recent operation, although he knew about it.
He was a bit sniffy that my house was not as tidy as he thought it should
be, which is surprising as he never lifts a finger in his own house but lets
his wife do it all. *My garden was more overgrown that he would like too. *I
got the impression he thought I was a bit lazy.

(respectful snip)

You've just been operated on, not to mention all the other things
happening around that time. Would it be too presumptuous of me to say
that Brother sounds like an award-winning douchebag? In an ideal world
you'd think family would pitch in for each other, not sit and
criticize. If people wonder why I prefer the company of four-legged
people much of the time...

Blessed be,
Baha

I'm so sorry, Christina, that your brother is so insensitive -- sometimes we
keep hoping and thinking people will change so I'm sure his responses were
pretty hurtful. I like Matthew's response about handing him the broom and
telling him to get busy! Definitely, in many cases, friends are superior to
family. Many hugs for you.
Purrs, too.
Christine
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
...
I was surprised to see him on Saturday as he hadn't been in touch since
before my recent operation, although he knew about it.
He was a bit sniffy that my house was not as tidy as he thought it should
be, which is surprising as he never lifts a finger in his own house but
lets his wife do it all. My garden was more overgrown that he would like
too. I got the impression he thought I was a bit lazy.
I reminded him that I'd been quite ill recently and had been unable to do
it myself. I said he might have sent his wife to tidy the house and
himself to do the garden if he was that bothered and indeed it might have
made me feel better so why didn't he think of it as it would helped me so
much?
Total silence. Good.
This is the little boy that I taught to read before he went to school
which gave him so much advantage that he gained a degree in biology and
got a great job.
Is it too much to ask him to help me now?

I certainly never taught him to let his wife do all the domestic tasks
when she works too.

Tweed

"Adrian" wrote in message
om...
Christina Websell wrote:
snip
One of the children described Tigger as her brother. My brother said
"Tigger is a cat, he's not your brother."
She disagreed. As far as she is concerned Tigger is her brother. She
will not be moved from this idea.

Tweed

Your niece sounds delightful. :-) When I stayed with my sister a couple of
weeks ago she apologised for her untidy house. I said "who cares, so long
as Lucky is happy."

It's actually not "that" untidy, except by the standards of his wife who is
an uber-housewife. I think she would die of shame if there was anything out
of place or a speck of dust in her house.
To me, that's not natural. She once said to me "you will never open one of
*my* cupboards and not find it spotless!" as if she thought it mattered
somehow and it might impress me. It didn't, quite the reverse. I secretly
thought it was obsessive.
I hoover and tidy my house once weekly on a Saturday, unfortunately my
brother arrived at 9.30 a.m. Saturday when I'd just got up. I like to sleep
in on Saturday & Sunday to recover from the week of rising at 7, 45 minutes
commute each way, 5 days of emotionally draining work. Which my brother
seems to think is not worthwhile as I am dealing with "the dregs of society"
He does not realise he could have been the dregs of society himself, since
my mother was forced to leave my stepfather was he was 4 and my younger
brother Andrew was 2 due to domestic violence and his emotional abuse of me
We had no money so I abandoned any hope of further education and went to
work at 15 to help my mother with my wages.
She could easily have put them into care but she didn't.
He seems to have forgotten all this.
Yes, Matthew is right, I should have offered him the Dyson & strimmer and
said "get going, brother.."


Tweed