Pls comment on barking dogs letter (OT)

May 28, 2006

Dear Mr./Mrs. Walsh:

The vocalizations of your dogs at various times of the day and night
has been causing sleep deprivation for me. Do you think you could find
a way to keep them quiet?
CY: Most folks don't talk, or write at college level. How about "Your
barking dogs are making it impossible for me to sleep."

My house is quite close to yours and, regrettably, it is not
soundproof, nor do I have an air conditioner, so in summer if I want
to be comfortable inside, I must open the windows at night and close
them in the early morning. However, with the windows open at night,
and your dogs carrying on, I never get a decent amount of sleep.
CY: How about "As hot as it is, I open my windows at night. The sound
from the dogs barking is very loud, and keeps me awake."

Even keeping the windows closed and moving my bedroom to the other
side of the house hasn't worked, the dogs are simply too loud. At
night they only quit after I get my "second wind" and then can't sleep
for hours, and then an hour or two after I finally get to sleep, they
start up again, which incites replies from all the dogs in the
neighborhood.
CY: This is good. Shows that you've tried to solve the problem
yourself, without bothering them.

After you get up they quiet down for a while, which allows me to get a
bit more sleep, but I miss the cool part of the day and can't get any
work done outside without getting miserably hot, and it's hot inside
as well. Not that I want to sleep in the daytime, but I do have to get
some rest, and soon!!!
CY: Also good.

While I vastly prefer to be on good terms with neighbors, there comes
a point -- I reached it yesterday -- where concern for my own health
and welfare take precedence. That's why this morning at about 1:00 I
closed the door on the east side of your house, but I still got very
little sleep, and once again being overly tired, I will accomplish
next to nothing today.
CY: I wouldn't tell them about going over and closing thier door. Too
much like trespassing.

Ava City Ordinance No. 432 reads, in pertinent part, "No person shall
own, keep or harbor any dog which by loud, continual or frequent
barking, howling or yelping shall annoy or disturb any neighborhood or
person ... no violation under this section shall be prosecuted without
there first being filed by an injured party a signed complaint
formally charging such violator under this section."
CY: As someone else said, for the first letter please don't mention
codes or law.

I'd like very much to solve this problem amicably, with your
cooperation a formal complaint will be unnecessary. Please pardon the
tone of this letter, as chronic sleep loss is taking a heavy toll on
my diplomacy skills.
CY: too college level. Maybe "Sorry if this letter seems crabby and
witchy. But after so many weeks of losing sleep, I *AM* crabby and
witchy".

To better understand my situation, please read "The Deleterious Impact
of Exposing People to Chronic Barking" which is published under
Section Six at www.barkingdogs.net http://www.barkingdogs.net/.
CY: I usually like to request a low level solution. "As we are
nieghbors, I think we can work together to find a good solution
without involving the code enforcement people."

Many thanks,

Pat Davis - 683-1565

P.S. http://www.ultimatebarkcontrol.com/DS_Ultimate.htm may be helpful
also.

It was written in college level English. That was my first thought.

--

Christopher A. Young
You can't shout down a troll.
You have to starve them.
..

"Jeff Mullen" wrote in message
...

Though it may not seem like it sometimes, I've read "How to Win
Friends and Influence People." Based on its contents, I'd say
that, unless the tone of this letter is altered, it will not
have the affect that you seem to desire. While it is succinct
and to-the-point, and while I can understand that the problem
that you suffer could vex you, I must humbly request that you
strive for a more diplomatic tone. I offer my experience as
a fiction editor--pro bono--to help you in this if you wish.

"Stormin Mormon" wrote

CY: Most folks don't talk, or write at college level. How about "Your
barking dogs are making it impossible for me to sleep."

I originally wrote "yapping" because that describes the sound better than
"barking" does. Someone said "yapping" would be an insult, so I changed it
to the only other word that seemed to fit.

CY: How about "As hot as it is, I open my windows at night. The sound
from the dogs barking is very loud, and keeps me awake."

That's good.

CY: I wouldn't tell them about going over and closing thier door. Too
much like trespassing.

I wanted them to know how desperate I was.

CY: As someone else said, for the first letter please don't mention
codes or law.

This was gonna be the only letter, not the first one.

CY: too college level. Maybe "Sorry if this letter seems crabby and
witchy. But after so many weeks of losing sleep, I *AM* crabby and
witchy".

That's good, too. But I don't see what's wrong with writing at the college
level. These folks are college grads.

CY: I usually like to request a low level solution. "As we are
nieghbors, I think we can work together to find a good solution
without involving the code enforcement people."

You're right again. I haven't given them any letter yet. I think they got
the message from finding that door closed. The dogs have been quieter since
then. But if it starts back up, now I have a better letter prepared. Thanks!

On 2006-05-30, Pat penned:
"Stormin Mormon" wrote


CY: too college level. Maybe "Sorry if this letter seems crabby and
witchy. But after so many weeks of losing sleep, I *AM* crabby and
witchy".

That's good, too. But I don't see what's wrong with writing at the
college level. These folks are college grads.


I don't know about this whole "college level" business, but in general
it comes down to tone. When you use big words where smaller ones
would do, it comes across as unnecessarily formal, possibly even
stuffy. It's like when people are really ****ed at each other and
use exaggeratedly polite turns of phrase.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote
On 2006-05-30, Pat penned:
"Stormin Mormon" wrote

CY: too college level. Maybe "Sorry if this letter seems crabby and
witchy. But after so many weeks of losing sleep, I *AM* crabby and
witchy".

That's good, too. But I don't see what's wrong with writing at the
college level. These folks are college grads.

I don't know about this whole "college level" business, but in general
it comes down to tone. When you use big words where smaller ones
would do, it comes across as unnecessarily formal, possibly even
stuffy. It's like when people are really ****ed at each other and
use exaggeratedly polite turns of phrase.

See, that's why I asked for comments on this whole thing. I know stuff like
that, but haven't used it in ages, due to being a virtual hermit. Also, in a
sleep-deprived state that kind of knowledge is not so accessible.

On 2006-05-30, Pat penned:

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote
I don't know about this whole "college level" business, but in
general it comes down to tone. When you use big words where
smaller ones would do, it comes across as unnecessarily formal,
possibly even stuffy. It's like when people are really ****ed at
each other and use exaggeratedly polite turns of phrase.

See, that's why I asked for comments on this whole thing. I know
stuff like that, but haven't used it in ages, due to being a virtual
hermit. Also, in a sleep-deprived state that kind of knowledge is
not so accessible.

It's a fine line, and I know exactly what you mean -- one night of
poor sleep and I'm pretty much useless the next day. More than one
night, and I'm not just useless, I'm also so raw that I'll pick a
fight with just about anyone, and see offense where none was intended.

The big word vs. small word thing has been a sore point to me for
years. I always figured I was using the most precise and accurate
word for the situation, and if the reader didn't know the word, that
was their problem, not mine.

Then I attended an excellent writing class (two or three days,
sponsored by my old company). I learned a lot, but the most helpful
bit for me was a long talk I had with the instructor about using my
extensive vocabulary. His point was, you write to communicate, and if
your intended audience doesn't know the word, it doesn't matter how
precise it is. If you're trying to accomplish something, you need to
write in the way that is accessible to your audience.

So, if you're writing poetry, go ahead and flaunt the vocabulary. If
you're writing a business document, keep it simple.

I don't think you were doing this with your letter, but the topic
seemed close enough that I felt like talking about it.

I'm glad the dogs have been quieter the last few nights. Hope the
trend continues.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca