Pls comment on barking dogs letter (OT)

After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got one
like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem? If
not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .
After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got
one like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem?
If not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Pat wrote:
After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got one
like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem? If
not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Thanks in advance for any feedback.


If I got that letter, it would probably just make me angry. The tone
"you *must*...etc.) is kind of bossy and mean. They say you can catch
more flies with honey, etc.etc.

I'd probably knock on the door and say "I'm a real problem sleeping
because of the barking. I wanted to ask if there's some way to keep the
dogs quiet during the night time hours." If they're receptive, great.
If they are not, I'd not say another word or give them another warning.
I would then file the complaint and be done with it.


Sherry

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .
After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got
one like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem?
If not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Thanks in advance for any feedback.


It would be more my style to just tell my neighbors that their dogs are
keeping me up at night. But that's just me.

I don't hear well enough anymore for a barking dog at night to be a problem
either. Maybe they don't hear it and don't realize how bothersome it can
be.

In any case, if I were going to write to them, I'd start with a short note
to make them aware there is a problem and asking for some help in resolving
it.

ie. Your dogs are keeping me awake and I can't sleep with the windows
closed.

Then again I'd be pretty quick to call animal control if that didn't solve
the problem.

Jo

On Sun, 28 May 2006 12:05:18 -0500, "Pat"
wrote:

After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got one
like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem? If
not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Thanks in advance for any feedback.


I think I would vote with the other respondents, here. Just let them
know there's a problem. If they're receptive and try to deal with it,
great. If not, file the complaint and let the city handle it. I
would keep track of when the dogs are barking, and when I
spoke/contacted them about it. A letter is fine as a contact if you
don't feel comfortable knocking on their door. (I wouldn't..). As a
stopgap measure in the meantime, try ear plugs and/or a fan for white
noise. I've used both effectively before, when I lived in apartments.

--Kim

"Jeff Mullen" wrote

Though it may not seem like it sometimes, I've read "How to Win
Friends and Influence People." Based on its contents, I'd say
that, unless the tone of this letter is altered, it will not
have the affect that you seem to desire. While it is succinct
and to-the-point, and while I can understand that the problem
that you suffer could vex you, I must humbly request that you
strive for a more diplomatic tone. I offer my experience as
a fiction editor--pro bono--to help you in this if you wish.

Offer accepted. But, what's wrong with the tone?

wrote
If I got that letter, it would probably just make me angry. The tone
"you *must*...etc.) is kind of bossy and mean. They say you can catch
more flies with honey, etc.etc.

I'd probably knock on the door and say "I'm a real problem sleeping
because of the barking. I wanted to ask if there's some way to keep the
dogs quiet during the night time hours." If they're receptive, great.
If they are not, I'd not say another word or give them another warning.
I would then file the complaint and be done with it.

They would blame others' dogs and say theirs are quiet - like they blamed
another dog for the crap left in my yard. Well that other dog is much too
small to leave the size of turd I got on my shoe.

"Lucy's Mom" wrote

I think I would vote with the other respondents, here. Just let them
know there's a problem. If they're receptive and try to deal with it,
great. If not, file the complaint and let the city handle it. I
would keep track of when the dogs are barking, and when I
spoke/contacted them about it. A letter is fine as a contact if you
don't feel comfortable knocking on their door. (I wouldn't..).

I don't feel comfortable facing them. It's real hard for me to confront
anyone.

stopgap measure in the meantime, try ear plugs and/or a fan for white
noise. I've used both effectively before, when I lived in apartments.

Couldn't find a fan last night after searching for an hour. Same story on
the earplugs. I've got four fans (two are quite large) and at least a dozen
sets of earplugs. Somewhere.... Amazing, isn't it, to be unable to find a
BOX FAN?

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .
After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
snip

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

Pat,

I understand your problem with not sleeping with barking dogs next door.
However, the tone of the letter is confrontational. I agree with several
others on the group who suggested starting with a shorter letter, stating
that you are having problems sleeping because of the barking dogs in the
room across from you. Try asking them if they have a solution that would be
be acceptable and resolve this issue before it becomes worse. People tend
to respond better when they are asked to help solve or explain the problem
than if they are told to do something because it a) is the right thing to
do, or b) there is an ordinance against xyz.

I do understand about not wanting to confront the people, I don't like to do
it either. If you want to meet them face to face, you might try something
like, I've been having a hard time sleeping. It seems as if your dogs are
barking frequently during the night, is there something I can do to help you
with keeping them quiet?

Just a couple of suggestions, that were learned while I was a facilitator.

Diane

"Pat" wrote:

After yet another sleepless night, I've written a letter to my neighbors
that I plan to print and deliver today (wish I knew their email address...
not sure my printer will work, haven't hooked it up in years, ink may be
dried out), but first I want to check if you think it is OK. If you got
one like it from a neighbor, would it persuade you to correct the problem?
If not, why not?

See letter at http://fidnet.com/~pdavis/dogs.rtf (WordPad file)

I think it's worded in an angry-sounding tone, and would probably be
interpreted as unfriendly by your neighbors. I would certainly feel
that way if I got that letter from a new neighbor I didn't know.

The word "yapping" to describe the dogs' barks sounds negative to me.
I realize that you experience it very negatively, but remember that
they probably love their dogs and might feel insulted to hear their
behavior described in a disrespectful way. So I would change that word
to "barking".

Also, I don't think it's necessary for you to tell them all the
specifics of your sleep problems, which hours you get a second wind,
etc. If you just tell them when you need the quiet, that seems
reasonable to me.

Also, I wouldn't include all that stuff at the end. It sounds like
you're ready for a fight, and you want to throw the book at them.
Who knows? Maybe their first reaction will be to say how sorry they
are, and to do something to keep their dogs quiet.

One time, I made more then the usual amount of noise a little too late
at night, and a couple of days later, I received a letter, *in the mail*,
from my next door neighbor, which detailed the house rules copied from
his lease. Considering that we live in the same building and his front
door is about 15 feet from my front door, this seemed like overkill and
felt much too formal. (We had also met and had several conversations, as
he's lived next door for a few years.) It seemed like he was starting a
paper trail, in case I turned out to be a jerk about it. But that left
me feeling like he didn't even give me a chance to be reasonable about
it. As it was, I apologized profusely and was much quieter after that.

Anyway, my point is, for the first contact, it's better to assume that
the person is going to be reasonable and cooperative, and is simply
unaware of how much her dogs are bothering you. That may seem very
unlikely to you, but it is still quite possible. Bad relationships with
neighbors can be hell, so I would do whatever I could to preserve a
good relationship while letting her know that something needs to change.

Good luck!
Joyce