Why Hello There!

It is soooooo good to hear from you and that things are going well. We've
missed you and I think of you and your family often. Welcome back.
Charleen

"Gracecat" wrote in message
...
Been a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been
6 last month)

Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Gracecat

"Gracecat" wrote in message
...
Been a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Hey S! Good to see you. I've been a lurker for a long time and only
recently started posting again. Hanging in there, for me. Better. I hit my
emotional bottom last year and had to seek help. Long overdue but my boss
helped me a lot. I'm reading the rest of your post to see how you are
doing. Been wondering!

Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been
6 last month)

And you have a sad anniversary coming up. Are you handling those ok, other
than just the Xanax? Do you have new traditions and special routines? My
SIL did something for me with the help of her daughters, my nieces. For my
birthday last year they made me a memory box. They filled it with some of
theirs for me to open and read them. It was special. I have added a few
since then, but I really need to add more. It makes me smile to write out
the happy memories because I spent so long just remembering "the night". I
hope you're able to find ways to remember your sweet girl in happy ways.
That is so hard until you get past the anger, which I don't think I'll ever
get past, but there are moments and they're not all SSRI induced! LOL Some,
but not all. Oh, I could go on and on for that quest for stabilization but
I won't.


Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and anxious
over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I even yell at kids
driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will
do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should.
Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably
wouldn't care to even listen.


Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Gracecat

Stay safe from the storms, and the generator and RV are a huge plus in your
area. Don't be a stranger. You can see how many so care about you and miss
you but also don't expect you to come and chitty chat and accept will
whatever hello's you want to send. Your life has changed. No doubt about
it.

hugs and more hugs,
Cheryl

Cheryl wrote:

I know I even yell at kids
driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will
do to their mom when they crash and die. My therapist told me I should.
Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just driving too fast and probably
wouldn't care to even listen.

You might be surprised. Sure, some kids don't care what some woman their
mother's age has to say, but others might actually stop and think. You
could save a life or two, and a lifetime of heartbreak.

Maybe there's a speakers bureau in your town, for talking to teenagers
about dangers like driving drunk or just plain speeding? I'll bet a
heartfelt story from you would make an impression on at least some of
them. Especially if you just talked about your own feelings of loss and
grief, and didn't lecture to them. (Teenagers are the masters at employing
the Nag Filter.) I think it would be a great thing to do, if/when you're
ready.

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

Gracecat wrote:
Been a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been
6 last month)

Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Gracecat
Hi, Gracecat. Glad to see you stop in. Don't be a stranger.

Sam, supervised by Mistletoe

On Aug 4, 7:58*pm, wrote:
Cheryl wrote:

* I know I even yell at kids
* driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell them what they will
* do to their mom when they crash and die. *My therapist told me I should.
* Yeah, right. How? *They are strangers just driving too fast and probably
* wouldn't care to even listen.

You might be surprised. Sure, some kids don't care what some woman their
mother's age has to say, but others might actually stop and think. You
could save a life or two, and a lifetime of heartbreak.

Maybe there's a speakers bureau in your town, for talking to teenagers
about dangers like driving drunk or just plain speeding? I'll bet a
heartfelt story from you would make an impression on at least some of
them. Especially if you just talked about your own feelings of loss and
grief, and didn't lecture to them. (Teenagers are the masters at employing
the Nag Filter.) I think it would be a great thing to do, if/when you're
ready.

--
Joyce * ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

I only have a minute, I'll respond to you more in depth tomorrow
morning Cheryl. (You too Sherry, I'll share just a few of Ian's
exploits)

I'm not sure if it's still in operation but a local man developed a
service when his daughter got her license. It's essentially a bumper
sticker with a randomly assigned number, and a phone number. When you
call the service, and give the "tag" number and a description of the
driver's behavior then that service in turn, calls the parents.

Abi's going to drive an M1 Abrams tank. She just doesn't know it yet.

Grace

"Cheryl" wrote in message
I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and
anxious over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I
even yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and
tell them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die.
My therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers
just driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen.



About thirty five years ago the neighbor boy across the street got his
drivers license and the use of the family black ford mustang. His
parents were and are good friends, but very strict with their two
boys.

One afternoon I saw the boy tear through a school zone going probably
fifty miles an hour. Later that day I took him aside and told him
what I had seen. Got it through his head where he was when he was
driving like that and what some of the consequences could have been.
Told him if he wanted to kill himself to me my guest, but that there
were tons of country roads around where he would not have to involve
anyone else. And that if I ever saw him driving like that again I'd
be talking to his parents.

He has now had a long and very successful career in law enforcement.
We are still in touch. And once in a while he mentions that incident
and thanks me.

Jo

Gracecat wrote:
Been a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been
6 last month)

Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Always good to see you, Grace.

Boy toddlers have no fear. Then they grow into 4 year olds and have even
less fear than they did when they were toddlers. The Yowlet (who is now 4
years, 4 months) enjoys playing 'hide and seek'. He particularly likes
playing this in malls, the beach, and other large spaces with lots of hiding
places, and has been known to just let hismelf out of the front door to play
hide and seek somewhere on the street. What of course he doesn't do is
*tell* us when he's about to go hide. He thinks its funny. Countless
sessions on the naughty chair, withdrawal of junk food, toys and Tv, and
even some good bottom thwackings have yet to discourage him from this new
hobby of his. This is why I have grey hair.

Yowie

Yowie

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
Gracecat wrote:
Been a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade.
(When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have
been
6 last month)

Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I
read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me.
I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's
been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still
pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety
disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For
now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the
panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed.
Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western
side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Always good to see you, Grace.

Boy toddlers have no fear. Then they grow into 4 year olds and have
even less fear than they did when they were toddlers. The Yowlet
(who is now 4 years, 4 months) enjoys playing 'hide and seek'. He
particularly likes playing this in malls, the beach, and other large
spaces with lots of hiding places, and has been known to just let
hismelf out of the front door to play hide and seek somewhere on the
street. What of course he doesn't do is *tell* us when he's about to
go hide. He thinks its funny. Countless sessions on the naughty
chair, withdrawal of junk food, toys and Tv, and even some good
bottom thwackings have yet to discourage him from this new hobby of
his. This is why I have grey hair.

Yowie

Yowie
You may have to have a traceable microchip installed on that boy!
They have them for kids that are good for about 200 yards.

Jo

"Gracecat" wrote in message
...

I only have a minute, I'll respond to you more in depth tomorrow
morning Cheryl. (You too Sherry, I'll share just a few of Ian's
exploits)

I'm not sure if it's still in operation but a local man developed a
service when his daughter got her license. It's essentially a bumper
sticker with a randomly assigned number, and a phone number. When you
call the service, and give the "tag" number and a description of the
driver's behavior then that service in turn, calls the parents.

Abi's going to drive an M1 Abrams tank. She just doesn't know it yet.

=============================================

Get her a Volvo. Same effect, cheaper, and a smidge more stylish.

Pam S. who wishes she could afford one for the M & Ms

On 2008-08-04 19:10:31 -0500, "Cheryl" said:

"Gracecat" wrote in message
...
Been

a while, how is everybody?

(Cheryl, how are you hon? I've thought about you recently.)

Hey S! Good to see you. I've been a lurker for a long time and only
recently started posting again. Hanging in there, for me. Better. I
hit my emotional bottom last year and had to seek help. Long overdue
but my boss helped me a lot. I'm reading the rest of your post to see
how you are doing. Been wondering!

I understand. It's been four years so yes... Life gets easier. Ian is
ten thousand times different than his sisters and he's helped. We were
afraid that we'd compare him with his sister. From time to time I see a
little of Eve. He got into my lipstick last week. That was her favorite
game so when Jody walked in and could tell I was aggravated I said Ian
pulled one of Eve's stunts. He knew immediately my lipstick was a
casualty. *grins* So we laugh more over the good times now. It's easier
to talk about her.


Ian turned two las... two months ago. (Had to think)

Abi got her ears pierced yesterday and is entering fifth grade. (When
I came here, she was two years old. For reference, Eve would have been
6 last month)

And you have a sad anniversary coming up. Are you handling those ok,
other than just the Xanax? Do you have new traditions and special
routines? My SIL did something for me with the help of her daughters,
my nieces. For my birthday last year they made me a memory box. They
filled it with some of theirs for me to open and read them. It was
special. I have added a few since then, but I really need to add more.
It makes me smile to write out the happy memories because I spent so
long just remembering "the night". I hope you're able to find ways to
remember your sweet girl in happy ways. That is so hard until you get
past the anger, which I don't think I'll ever get past, but there are
moments and they're not all SSRI induced! LOL Some, but not all. Oh,
I could go on and on for that quest for stabilization but I won't.

In a month and week. In a way, it makes for an easy week to get away
from with the family without interferring with Abi's school. It's
always around Labor Day.

At Eve's funeral we were given a magnolia. It blooms at the craziest
times. Her birthday, Mother's day. Last Christmas we took the kids to
Disney. Eve went when she was 6 months old so this was going to a place
we built memories with her. Jody bought Oreo cookies a few months ago
for the first time. She loved oreos.

2AM is still hard. And I say 2 AM because I'm a perpetual insomniac.
When the house is quiet I do my worst thinking. But if I keep busy
while I'm awake it's ok.

The xanax helps those moments where my son discovers the attic ladder
and I discover he's 18 months old and nine feet up in the air laughing.
That was a heart meet toes moment. Or when he's running through the
house with a knife he managed to get out of the sink. Those moments
don't scare me, but the "oh no what if he got hurt" imagination runs
wild creates an anxiety attack. In the six months I've been diagnosed,
it's easier to recognize the pattern and try to avoid letting those
thoughts get the best of me. Like Yowie said on down this thread, Ian
loves to take off and doesn't consider leaving behind Mom. I handle
them well, but I'm a victim of the "what-if's".

Everybody either says it'll never happen to me, or that yes it can
happen to you. When it does happen, and you know it can happen, you're
afraid it can happen again. It's vicious. I never had the anger, or
denial that they said could happen during grief before Ian was born. I
appeared to go from grief to acceptance. Jody had a horrible time. I
was afraid to leave him alone. I don't think his family really realized
how bad he got. Only after Ian started walking did we discover that I
had my own form of post traumatic disorder. So as Jody healed and
became stable, I took my turn.

Jody's grandfather passed away in March, he was 81 and had been in ill
health for years. That was the first funeral both of us had attended
since our daughter's and it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.
But then again, it wasn't our local funeral home either so that helped.




Pam! I was glad to read Rob came off hospice earlier this year. I read
the newsgroup about twice a month and those six months worried me. I
think he'll surprise us again with these latest MRI results. It's been
too long since I talked to you on the phone, we need to change
that!

Mutt's still plugging along, she'll be 12 at the end of this month.
She's not as active as she was four years ago, but she's still pretty
danged energetic.

Jody had a change of job duties earlier this month. Dad sold our
family business to a larger company and became a subsidiary. Short
term isn't as wonderful as it was being self-employed, but hey, we
have a nest egg. That's always nice.

Ian keeps me on my toes. I was diagnosed with general anxiety disorder
but it's temporary. Ian has no fear and I have too much fear. For now
whenever he manages a *******-toddler trick, I have my little panic
attack that OMG he could have gotten hurt, take a xanax and we move
on. (I really do say that tongue in cheek. It's that bad but the panic
attacks are less than they were six months ago.)

I sure understand that. You are probably way more protective and
anxious over all of your loved ones. Totally expected. I know I even
yell at kids driving too fast and would like to shake them and tell
them what they will do to their mom when they crash and die. My
therapist told me I should. Yeah, right. How? They are strangers just
driving too fast and probably wouldn't care to even listen.

I know I can't hold Abi back when she becomes a teenager, or when she
turns 18. But... It's going to be hard. I think she'll be ok though as
far as making personal decisions. She's a typical budding pre-teen, so
she gets mouthy from time to time. But when she knows it's a personal
safety issue, she doesn't argue and she doesn't try to wiggle around
the rules. She knows vehicles can kill. I'm not sure how, but even Ian
is trained to stop and wait for me when we're in a parking lot. I guess
I give off the "Mommy is serious" vibes.

Some parents would care. I would.




Purrs and prayers, (and doggy drool) where they're needed. Victor
and Lori, ya'll stay safe. Hopefully ya'll will be on the western side
of the bands. Looks like Alexandria, LA is going to get the eastern
side regardless. It's good to have a generator, and an RV

Gracecat

Stay safe from the storms, and the generator and RV are a huge plus in
your area. Don't be a stranger. You can see how many so care about
you and miss you but also don't expect you to come and chitty chat and
accept will whatever hello's you want to send. Your life has changed.
No doubt about it.

hugs and more hugs,
Cheryl


Thanks Cheryl. For a change due to the heat and frontal pressure, this
storm went west. Victor and I think MaryL is getting weather but the
east coast Texans and Louisianians should be pretty good.

*hugs*
Grace