How do I cope with a depressed cat?

6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi -this morning I had
to pop over to the shop before I went to work and when I came back she
got past me into the hallway so I went and put the shopping down and
when I went back to the front door was sitting on the doormat staring
hopefully up the stairs where Dunzi used to run. I reckon she thinks
this is an extended version of the "Dirty Little Stop Out" game. I had
to pick her up to bring her in

Dave says she's taken to following him everywhere , she'll be asleep
on the arm of the sofa next to him and he'll get up to use the toilet
and she wakes up and goes with him.

She's being "Good" with me okay I do not wish to imply in any way that
she isn't always a saintly and well behaved kitten but I'd be lying-
she's tiptoing round me almost like she's worried I could make her
vanish as well...

I've tried throwing her toys- she loves to play usually but she bats
it once or twice for show and then walks off

The only good thing is she's still eating but even then when I put her
food down she waits and looks round to see if Dunzi is going to appear

How can I explain it to her?

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

Lesley Madigan wrote
6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi
snip
How can I explain it to her?

Don't even try. Just get her a small kitten, ASAP.

On Jul 5, 9:48*am, "Pat" wrote:
Lesley Madigan wrote

6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi
snip
How can I explain it to her?

Don't even try. Just get her a small kitten, ASAP.

I think that;s what she is really missing not Dunzi per se (after all
Dunzi did her level best sometimes to make Sarsi's life miserable) but
feline company. The trouble is Dave doesn't feel ready yet and I am
not sure I do and maybe I am misreading the situation and a new
arrival would upset her even more. I think we are leaning towards
another owner but it won't happen just yet.

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

On Jul 5, 6:55*pm, Lesley Madigan wrote:
On Jul 5, 9:48*am, "Pat" wrote:

Lesley Madigan wrote

6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi
snip
How can I explain it to her?

Don't even try. Just get her a small kitten, ASAP.

I think that;s what she is really missing not Dunzi per se (after all
Dunzi did her level best sometimes to make Sarsi's life miserable) but
feline company. *The trouble is Dave doesn't feel ready yet and I am
not sure I do and maybe I am misreading the situation and a new
arrival would upset her even more. *I think we are leaning towards
another owner but it won't happen just yet.

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

It took our cats a long time, far longer than I expected, to "get
over" our dog's passing to RB last year. Several weeks. I'd suggest
giving her time and allowing her to adjust to the new dynamic in the
household at her own pace. It is a HUGE change for her - she's only
ever known life with Dunzi. Please don't get her a kitten; I think it
would de-stabilize her more.

Hugs to all three of you.
Tish

It took Tripper about a month to stop looking for his brother. I didn't
start looking for a new companion for him until he stopped. I figured
it was less likely to be viewed as a territory intrusion, and would give
him more time to adjust.

Since cats love routine, and Sarsi is used to the presence of another
cat, it's not surprising that she's shifted to following you or Dave
around. You can't really explain it to her....though if you do find a
way, let the rest of us know. I'd love to have that ability! Just
keep doing what you're doing....giving her stability. Cats love
routines, and hers have been upset. The more things you can keep the
same, the faster she'll be able to adjust. Of course, with anything
cat related, your mileage may vary.

Give her plenty of attention, as I'm sure you are, and once she settles
down a bit more, perhaps you and Dave will be ready to consider another
owner.

Purrs-

Chris and the Fairfax Fur Factory
On 07/05/2011 04:46 AM, Lesley Madigan wrote:
6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi -this morning I had
to pop over to the shop before I went to work and when I came back she
got past me into the hallway so I went and put the shopping down and
when I went back to the front door was sitting on the doormat staring
hopefully up the stairs where Dunzi used to run. I reckon she thinks
this is an extended version of the "Dirty Little Stop Out" game. I had
to pick her up to bring her in

Dave says she's taken to following him everywhere , she'll be asleep
on the arm of the sofa next to him and he'll get up to use the toilet
and she wakes up and goes with him.

She's being "Good" with me okay I do not wish to imply in any way that
she isn't always a saintly and well behaved kitten but I'd be lying-
she's tiptoing round me almost like she's worried I could make her
vanish as well...

I've tried throwing her toys- she loves to play usually but she bats
it once or twice for show and then walks off

The only good thing is she's still eating but even then when I put her
food down she waits and looks round to see if Dunzi is going to appear

How can I explain it to her?

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

On 5.7.2011 11:46, Lesley Madigan wrote:
6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi

That is so hard. Nikki died late in May 2005, and when I took Frank to
the island at the beginning of July, he carefully made the rounds of her
favourite places there, then he pretty much spent the rest of the summer
on my bed.

Even though she'd known him less than a year, Miranda kept looking for
Frank after he passed. She called for him for about a week, then she
settled down. Sarsi lived with Dunzi all her life, so I can imagine it
will take longer for her.

My sister is dealing with the same thing. Linus died earlier this year,
and his sisfur Ronja is still looking for him. If she hears a noise from
another room, she perks up, then rushes in to see if he's there. It's
heartbreaking, but there's not much you can do.

My sister is going to adopt a new kitten in the autumn. It's always hard
to predict how it will pan out. On the one hand, it's usually easier for
an adult to accept a new kitten than another adult, but on the other, a
kitten may be too rambunctious for an older cat (Ronja is about the same
age as Sarsi). We can only wait and see and hope for the best.

--
Marina, Miranda and Caliban.
In loving memory of Frank and Nikki.

Thanks for the advice- nope we are not rushing out to get another
kitten apart from anything else we're still too upset ourselves and it
would feel like we were just replacing Dunzi as if she were the
washing machine or something.

We're watching the situation if Sarsi really does not improve (and I
am sure she will to some degree as long as we keep to her routine and
make a fuss of her) then another cat is not out of the question. Sarsi
may be 8 but she still plays like a kitten so a younger cat might be a
better idea and if Bast feels we need a cat then one will turn up
(They always do I think there's an agency on the Mother Ship that
sends them)

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

"Spock-n-Persephone" wrote in message
...
On Jul 5, 6:55 pm, Lesley Madigan wrote:
On Jul 5, 9:48 am, "Pat" wrote:

Lesley Madigan wrote

6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi
snip
How can I explain it to her?

Don't even try. Just get her a small kitten, ASAP.

I think that;s what she is really missing not Dunzi per se (after all
Dunzi did her level best sometimes to make Sarsi's life miserable) but
feline company. The trouble is Dave doesn't feel ready yet and I am
not sure I do and maybe I am misreading the situation and a new
arrival would upset her even more. I think we are leaning towards
another owner but it won't happen just yet.

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furball

It took our cats a long time, far longer than I expected, to "get
over" our dog's passing to RB last year. Several weeks. I'd suggest
giving her time and allowing her to adjust to the new dynamic in the
household at her own pace. It is a HUGE change for her - she's only
ever known life with Dunzi. Please don't get her a kitten; I think it
would de-stabilize her more.

Hugs to all three of you.
Tish

I agree with Tish. Rushing out and getting a new kitten, even if you and
Dave were ready for one, isn't the answer. Give Sarsi time to adjust to the
change. Then perhaps (as Chris suggested) adopt an older cat when you feel
ready. Meanwhile, give Sarsi lots of love and attention (I know you already
are!)

Jill

.. *Rushing out and getting a new kitten, even if you and
Dave were ready for one,

We're not

.. *Then perhaps (as Chris suggested) adopt an older cat when you feel
ready.

probably a young cat maybe not a kitten- Sarsi still loves to play but
a boisterous kitten might be a bit much

*Meanwhile, give Sarsi lots of love and attention (I know you already
are!)

She's getting spoiled rotten

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Pat wrote:
Lesley Madigan wrote
6 days later and Sarsi is still looking for Dunzi
snip
How can I explain it to her?

Don't even try. Just get her a small kitten, ASAP.

That would be my advice, too. When the young man across the hall
abandoned both his cat and his apartment, I took it "temporarily", just
until we could find a home for it. I hadn't realized how visibly
Melisande had been grieving the loss of Patches (PTS because of
metastasizing skin cancer) until Cendrillon joined us. They so promptly
bonded, there was no question of "finding a home" (especially after I
unexpectedly had to pay for a spay when the abandoned cat came in heat,
despite having been declawed by her former owner).