cats and health: allergies-- help

my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

i love her.

she came to live with me one month ago,
leaving her aging (15 years plus) sick cat at her place in
NYC to come move in with us in in the future.

we live 5000 miles away from her cat.

in the meantime, with my permission, she adopted two kittens.

at the time she adopted the cats i was in the middle of an eye infection,
seasonal conjunctivitis, treated by my eye specialist with antibiotics,
which almost immediately upon entrance of cats to the house,
became severe.

though sceptical about my allergy to cats, and my known allergy to them,
-- she may be in denial about my allergy,
why?:

when i visited her over the xmas holiday i was visibly allergic to her cat,

though knowing that,
i said yes to her request,
as i wanted her to feel at home with cats.

doctor says the further flareup was most probably a result of my known
allergy to cats.
( i get symptoms of itching skin, itching eyes, runny nose, etc., classic
symptoms, all experienced in her place over xmas)

my eye doctor told me my allergy to cats was probably the root cause of my
worsening condition.

my condition is also exasperated by the fact that i have an existing eye
condition related to an immune system deficiency. it is very very serious.

my immune system thus became compromised according to my doctor.

girlfriend knows this.

she does not believe the science.

by the way, i had a cornea transplant in 1997.

my cornea transplant/ immune system
became compromised according to my eye doctor, due to the introduction of
the kittens to the house..

a row started with my girlfriend when i said, as gently as possible, the
doctor has advised kittens must leave.

she doesn't believe me, or the doctor,
regarding my sensitivity to the cats, or whatever it is cats leave behind
in the air.


doctor says my eye is the worst he has ever seen it, and i must prepare to
plan for a new transplant if the condition does not get better.

transplant surgery takes 16 months to recover from.
i do not want to repeat this, ever!

he put me on heavy doses of steroids, and antibiotic eye drops.

still am on meds, and am uncomfortable taking them, but i must do what i
must do.


i trust eye doc implicitly.

so why all this?:
tonight, two weeks later with my condition stable but not out of the woods
yet,

my girlfriend said she still wants to bring over her cat from NYC
and behaves as if i am unreasonable when i say her cat simply may not live
with us.

to me it is science:
i am not well, with very serious eye problems,
am allergic and susceptible to cats allergens, so i must avoid at all cost
problems of this type.


my health is important,

as is my girlfriend.

i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

if so, amen i say.

i have a dog and am not sensitive to anything about him.

please advise....

robert in gozo

Time to get a new girlfriend!


--
Burmese are like potato chips, you can't just have one.

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

i love her.

she came to live with me one month ago,
leaving her aging (15 years plus) sick cat at her place in
NYC to come move in with us in in the future.

we live 5000 miles away from her cat.

in the meantime, with my permission, she adopted two kittens.

at the time she adopted the cats i was in the middle of an eye infection,
seasonal conjunctivitis, treated by my eye specialist with antibiotics,
which almost immediately upon entrance of cats to the house,
became severe.

though sceptical about my allergy to cats, and my known allergy to them,
-- she may be in denial about my allergy,
why?:

when i visited her over the xmas holiday i was visibly allergic to her
cat,

though knowing that,
i said yes to her request,
as i wanted her to feel at home with cats.

doctor says the further flareup was most probably a result of my known
allergy to cats.
( i get symptoms of itching skin, itching eyes, runny nose, etc., classic
symptoms, all experienced in her place over xmas)

my eye doctor told me my allergy to cats was probably the root cause of my
worsening condition.

my condition is also exasperated by the fact that i have an existing eye
condition related to an immune system deficiency. it is very very serious.

my immune system thus became compromised according to my doctor.

girlfriend knows this.

she does not believe the science.

by the way, i had a cornea transplant in 1997.

my cornea transplant/ immune system
became compromised according to my eye doctor, due to the introduction of
the kittens to the house..

a row started with my girlfriend when i said, as gently as possible, the
doctor has advised kittens must leave.

she doesn't believe me, or the doctor,
regarding my sensitivity to the cats, or whatever it is cats leave behind
in the air.


doctor says my eye is the worst he has ever seen it, and i must prepare to
plan for a new transplant if the condition does not get better.

transplant surgery takes 16 months to recover from.
i do not want to repeat this, ever!

he put me on heavy doses of steroids, and antibiotic eye drops.

still am on meds, and am uncomfortable taking them, but i must do what i
must do.


i trust eye doc implicitly.

so why all this?:
tonight, two weeks later with my condition stable but not out of the woods
yet,

my girlfriend said she still wants to bring over her cat from NYC
and behaves as if i am unreasonable when i say her cat simply may not
live
with us.

to me it is science:
i am not well, with very serious eye problems,
am allergic and susceptible to cats allergens, so i must avoid at all cost
problems of this type.


my health is important,

as is my girlfriend.

i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

if so, amen i say.

i have a dog and am not sensitive to anything about him.

please advise....

robert in gozo

Time to get a new girlfriend!


--
Burmese are like potato chips, you can't just have one.

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

i love her.

she came to live with me one month ago,
leaving her aging (15 years plus) sick cat at her place in
NYC to come move in with us in in the future.

we live 5000 miles away from her cat.

in the meantime, with my permission, she adopted two kittens.

at the time she adopted the cats i was in the middle of an eye infection,
seasonal conjunctivitis, treated by my eye specialist with antibiotics,
which almost immediately upon entrance of cats to the house,
became severe.

though sceptical about my allergy to cats, and my known allergy to them,
-- she may be in denial about my allergy,
why?:

when i visited her over the xmas holiday i was visibly allergic to her
cat,

though knowing that,
i said yes to her request,
as i wanted her to feel at home with cats.

doctor says the further flareup was most probably a result of my known
allergy to cats.
( i get symptoms of itching skin, itching eyes, runny nose, etc., classic
symptoms, all experienced in her place over xmas)

my eye doctor told me my allergy to cats was probably the root cause of my
worsening condition.

my condition is also exasperated by the fact that i have an existing eye
condition related to an immune system deficiency. it is very very serious.

my immune system thus became compromised according to my doctor.

girlfriend knows this.

she does not believe the science.

by the way, i had a cornea transplant in 1997.

my cornea transplant/ immune system
became compromised according to my eye doctor, due to the introduction of
the kittens to the house..

a row started with my girlfriend when i said, as gently as possible, the
doctor has advised kittens must leave.

she doesn't believe me, or the doctor,
regarding my sensitivity to the cats, or whatever it is cats leave behind
in the air.


doctor says my eye is the worst he has ever seen it, and i must prepare to
plan for a new transplant if the condition does not get better.

transplant surgery takes 16 months to recover from.
i do not want to repeat this, ever!

he put me on heavy doses of steroids, and antibiotic eye drops.

still am on meds, and am uncomfortable taking them, but i must do what i
must do.


i trust eye doc implicitly.

so why all this?:
tonight, two weeks later with my condition stable but not out of the woods
yet,

my girlfriend said she still wants to bring over her cat from NYC
and behaves as if i am unreasonable when i say her cat simply may not
live
with us.

to me it is science:
i am not well, with very serious eye problems,
am allergic and susceptible to cats allergens, so i must avoid at all cost
problems of this type.


my health is important,

as is my girlfriend.

i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

if so, amen i say.

i have a dog and am not sensitive to anything about him.

please advise....

robert in gozo

See an allergist.

--
Joy

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

i love her.

she came to live with me one month ago,
leaving her aging (15 years plus) sick cat at her place in
NYC to come move in with us in in the future.

we live 5000 miles away from her cat.

in the meantime, with my permission, she adopted two kittens.

at the time she adopted the cats i was in the middle of an eye
infection,
seasonal conjunctivitis, treated by my eye specialist with
antibiotics,
which almost immediately upon entrance of cats to the house,
became severe.

though sceptical about my allergy to cats, and my known allergy to
them,
-- she may be in denial about my allergy,
why?:

when i visited her over the xmas holiday i was visibly allergic to her
cat,

though knowing that,
i said yes to her request,
as i wanted her to feel at home with cats.

doctor says the further flareup was most probably a result of my known
allergy to cats.
( i get symptoms of itching skin, itching eyes, runny nose, etc.,
classic
symptoms, all experienced in her place over xmas)

my eye doctor told me my allergy to cats was probably the root cause
of my
worsening condition.

my condition is also exasperated by the fact that i have an existing
eye
condition related to an immune system deficiency. it is very very
serious.

my immune system thus became compromised according to my doctor.

girlfriend knows this.

she does not believe the science.

by the way, i had a cornea transplant in 1997.

my cornea transplant/ immune system
became compromised according to my eye doctor, due to the introduction
of
the kittens to the house..

a row started with my girlfriend when i said, as gently as possible,
the
doctor has advised kittens must leave.

she doesn't believe me, or the doctor,
regarding my sensitivity to the cats, or whatever it is cats leave
behind
in the air.


doctor says my eye is the worst he has ever seen it, and i must
prepare to
plan for a new transplant if the condition does not get better.

transplant surgery takes 16 months to recover from.
i do not want to repeat this, ever!

he put me on heavy doses of steroids, and antibiotic eye drops.

still am on meds, and am uncomfortable taking them, but i must do what
i
must do.


i trust eye doc implicitly.

so why all this?:
tonight, two weeks later with my condition stable but not out of the
woods
yet,

my girlfriend said she still wants to bring over her cat from NYC
and behaves as if i am unreasonable when i say her cat simply may not
live
with us.

to me it is science:
i am not well, with very serious eye problems,
am allergic and susceptible to cats allergens, so i must avoid at all
cost
problems of this type.


my health is important,

as is my girlfriend.

i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

if so, amen i say.

i have a dog and am not sensitive to anything about him.

please advise....

robert in gozo

See an allergist.

--
Joy

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

i love her.

she came to live with me one month ago,
leaving her aging (15 years plus) sick cat at her place in
NYC to come move in with us in in the future.

we live 5000 miles away from her cat.

in the meantime, with my permission, she adopted two kittens.

at the time she adopted the cats i was in the middle of an eye
infection,
seasonal conjunctivitis, treated by my eye specialist with
antibiotics,
which almost immediately upon entrance of cats to the house,
became severe.

though sceptical about my allergy to cats, and my known allergy to
them,
-- she may be in denial about my allergy,
why?:

when i visited her over the xmas holiday i was visibly allergic to her
cat,

though knowing that,
i said yes to her request,
as i wanted her to feel at home with cats.

doctor says the further flareup was most probably a result of my known
allergy to cats.
( i get symptoms of itching skin, itching eyes, runny nose, etc.,
classic
symptoms, all experienced in her place over xmas)

my eye doctor told me my allergy to cats was probably the root cause
of my
worsening condition.

my condition is also exasperated by the fact that i have an existing
eye
condition related to an immune system deficiency. it is very very
serious.

my immune system thus became compromised according to my doctor.

girlfriend knows this.

she does not believe the science.

by the way, i had a cornea transplant in 1997.

my cornea transplant/ immune system
became compromised according to my eye doctor, due to the introduction
of
the kittens to the house..

a row started with my girlfriend when i said, as gently as possible,
the
doctor has advised kittens must leave.

she doesn't believe me, or the doctor,
regarding my sensitivity to the cats, or whatever it is cats leave
behind
in the air.


doctor says my eye is the worst he has ever seen it, and i must
prepare to
plan for a new transplant if the condition does not get better.

transplant surgery takes 16 months to recover from.
i do not want to repeat this, ever!

he put me on heavy doses of steroids, and antibiotic eye drops.

still am on meds, and am uncomfortable taking them, but i must do what
i
must do.


i trust eye doc implicitly.

so why all this?:
tonight, two weeks later with my condition stable but not out of the
woods
yet,

my girlfriend said she still wants to bring over her cat from NYC
and behaves as if i am unreasonable when i say her cat simply may not
live
with us.

to me it is science:
i am not well, with very serious eye problems,
am allergic and susceptible to cats allergens, so i must avoid at all
cost
problems of this type.


my health is important,

as is my girlfriend.

i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

if so, amen i say.

i have a dog and am not sensitive to anything about him.

please advise....

robert in gozo

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

That says it all. Believe her. You can't live with them and she would
resent having to live without them.

So you discovered you are not compatible. It happens.

Jo

"Robert" wrote in message
...
my girlfriend loves cats. says she can't live without hers.

That says it all. Believe her. You can't live with them and she would
resent having to live without them.

So you discovered you are not compatible. It happens.

Jo

Robert wrote:


i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

Well *I* certainly would! (You may be a prince of a fellow, but if you
simply cannot be around cats, you're no fit mate for a catlover.)
Perhaps I read more into your post than is there, but it sounds to me as
though you simply want to have your own way, and never mind what she
wants. That's no basis for a lasting relationship, allergies or no!

Knowing how allergic you are, didn't you discuss the situation before
you decided to live together? Sometimes people with allergies can
become less allergic with repeated exposure to their allerges. If you
really love the girl, why not explore the possibilities with an allergist?

Robert wrote:


i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

Well *I* certainly would! (You may be a prince of a fellow, but if you
simply cannot be around cats, you're no fit mate for a catlover.)
Perhaps I read more into your post than is there, but it sounds to me as
though you simply want to have your own way, and never mind what she
wants. That's no basis for a lasting relationship, allergies or no!

Knowing how allergic you are, didn't you discuss the situation before
you decided to live together? Sometimes people with allergies can
become less allergic with repeated exposure to their allerges. If you
really love the girl, why not explore the possibilities with an allergist?

thanks for all your inputs.

many of you are sensitive to the issue.

i posted this to open a discussion for all animal lovers to learn about
others:
anecdotal problems and possible solutions.

to share my pain.

some of you are cat lovers have empathy for me and her,
some of you seem to be only on the side of the cats.

there is no side:
to me: there are only facts.

one reason i allowed the experiment with the kittens was to determine my
allergic response, and to let girlfriend feel more comfortable in my place:

being sensitive to her stress of a move and all.

she well knew of my allergy from my visit to NYC.

however it was evident she downplayed my allergy as i wheezed for one month
in NYC
and sneezed all in the name of love.

all the while i took pills and used to stay away from her cat,
i got itchy and other symptoms simply from sitting on the couch.

we discussed my complications over and over,
but she simply said she was going to bring her cat.

that was that.

i have difficulty saying no.
codependent stuff.

so when the opportunity of the kittens arose,
i naturally, though honestly reluctantly,
said yes, to see the science develop:

science prevailed: i am definitely seriously allergic.
and put my health at serious risk.

scientifically verified.

she seemed miffed that i was ill.
all but accused a conspiracy by the doc. and me.

a lasting relationship can be simple or complicated.

but have you ever had a sixteen (16) month surgery recovery?
i have and let me tell you,
it changes lots of perspectives.

so methinks: with a lover with a severe medical issue,
one would think that the cat lover may
be willing to come up with a viable solution:

i suggested she bring over her cat and let it stay with a local friend.


also suggested she volunteers at ASPCA to stay close to her feline friends.
when she returns from the local ASPCA where she volunteers, following my
suggestion,

upon return home, she reeks of cat stuff and i break out in rashes from her
clothes.

gently
convinced her to shower and wash her hair soon after entering our coming
home, from ASPCA.

even our bed has something in it as she complains about it being knats,
when to me
it is the symptom of the cats all over again.

so i am being selfish?

good point to consider,

and i am open to that possibility, but i do not think so.
if selfish, I'd like to say:

successfully selfish. in a good way.

am i a prince?,

no but i aspire to be princely.

yet, i do need to take care of me.

yup, some relationships may be doomed... some can be worked out.
more as this develops, though this morning she was in a tiff,

and went to bed last night in a huff.

again, my health must come first: is this too selfish on my part?

perhaps,
but please you try my surgery.
wear my shoes.
feel my pain.

it is not only emotional:
it is real pain.

very very painful recovery.

right now:
my eye hurts all the time lately, steroids, antibiotics and all.

i am afraid.

i do not want to go under the knife for another transplant,
and
have to wear dark glasses, and not be able to turn my eyes to the left or
right, for over a year,
stay out of light, stay out of wind, no exercise that could damage the micro
stitches,

to have twenty eight micro stitches in my eye,
and have then surgically removed one by one

by having doc
cut my cornea to get them out

each one or two,
removed
month after month over time,

ugh the pain, it hurts to think of it,

so am i really being selfish?


Robert






"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message
...


Robert wrote:


i told her the choice for me is simple:
my health must come first.

i realise for her teh choice may be more difficult.

she actsed tonight as if she may choose her cat over me.

Well *I* certainly would! (You may be a prince of a fellow, but if you
simply cannot be around cats, you're no fit mate for a catlover.) Perhaps
I read more into your post than is there, but it sounds to me as though
you simply want to have your own way, and never mind what she wants.






That's no basis for a lasting relationship, allergies or no!

Knowing how allergic you are, didn't you discuss the situation before you
decided to live together? Sometimes people with allergies can become less
allergic with repeated exposure to their allerges. If you really love the
girl, why not explore the possibilities with an allergist?