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  #71  
Old July 22nd 08, 08:04 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Candace
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 348
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(

On Jul 21, 9:23*pm, wrote:

My take is that Kyla has some very severe emotional problems and is
unable to behave differently because of it. She is very emotionally
volatile and gets extremely upset easily. This is all exacerbated by
some pretty difficult physical problems which make it hard for her
to do what she needs to do for her emotional issues. It's not good
for people psychologically to sit at home in front of a computer all
day, but if you have major mobility issues, you probably don't have
much choice.

I never take anything she says personally. I feel like most of what
Kyla says here is a reflection of her own reality - of where she's
at mentally and psychologically. It's not about me, and it's not
about anyone else here, either. In other words, before you react
negatively to one of Kyla's posts, remember that it's coming from
someone who is probably overwhelmed with deep psychological stuff.
To be honest, I think she sincerely cannot help it.


--
Joyce * ^..^


Whoa, as an "outsider," who mostly posts on rpchb (which I know many
of you find disgusting, annoying, and offensive but which is actually
just plain boring right now), this thread has a definite old rpchb
feel to it. I have to say that to say what you said in your first
paragraph is pretty harsh and if someone really does have emotional
problems (and I'm not going to judge that--at least not publicly), it
seems pretty cruel to say what you did. I guess your recipe-monitor
is ill right now or this thread would have never gotten beyond some
southern-fried, cajun-broiled, carnivore-lovin' dish.

Yikes, you guys is meaner than us old rpchb'ers! I don't think anyone
posts on Usenet to get an amateur psychiatric analysis for all the
world to see. I'd be mortified if I really had deep psychological
problems and this was directed at me. Of course, as it is, it makes
me long for the old, flamin' days of rpchb again. C'mon, take it to
rpchb!!!!!!!!!!!!! And utilize your KFs, wow, vicious.

Candace

  #72  
Old July 22nd 08, 08:06 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Candace
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 348
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(

On Jul 21, 9:23*pm, wrote:

This probably sounds patronizing as all hell, but I think it's the
truth.
--
Joyce * ^..^


Actually, "patronizing" isn't the word I would use.

Candace

  #73  
Old July 22nd 08, 08:21 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 9,349
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(

Candace wrote:

Whoa, as an "outsider," who mostly posts on rpchb (which I know many
of you find disgusting, annoying, and offensive but which is actually
just plain boring right now), this thread has a definite old rpchb
feel to it. I have to say that to say what you said in your first
paragraph is pretty harsh and if someone really does have emotional
problems (and I'm not going to judge that--at least not publicly), it
seems pretty cruel to say what you did.


Worse than calling her a drama queen?

And what is so bad about saying someone has emotional problems? If
I said that so-and-so had cancer, or diabetes or some other serious
physical problem, would that be considered harsh? It's only harsh
if you think that emotional problems are an indication of something
bad about the person. I don't blame her for it, or think that she is
less worthy of respect or compassion than anyone else. But I think
that if you read her posts, you can see that she has a lot of mood
swings, strong, painful emotions, and does a lot of impulsive things.
So I'm not pointing anything out that most of us have not already seen.

The point of my post was simply that I don't think Kyla is deliberately
being a drama-queen. I think that she's going through a lot and it
sounds to me like it's pretty overwhelming. Why is saying that an insult
to a person? I'm just asking people to cut her some slack because I
don't see how she's hurting anyone. And if she's not hurting anyone,
then there's no legitimate reason for anyone to object to what she does.

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)
  #74  
Old July 22nd 08, 08:44 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Lesley via CatKB.com
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 810
Default I'm Sorry

CatNipped wrote:




Too true. Who was it who wrote "I'd never be a part of a group who would
have me as a member!" (JOKE) ;

It was Groucho Marx who went invited to become a member of a club said "I
wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member"

Reminds of one of my favourite Groucho comments: "Outside of a dog a book is
man's best friend- inside a dog it's too dark to read"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
Message posted via CatKB.com
http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx...dotes/200807/1

  #75  
Old July 22nd 08, 09:05 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Candace
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 348
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(

On Jul 22, 12:21*am, wrote:
Candace wrote:

* Whoa, as an "outsider," who mostly posts on rpchb (which I know many
* of you find disgusting, annoying, and offensive but which is actually
* just plain boring right now), this thread has a definite old rpchb
* feel to it. *I have to say that to say what you said in your first
* paragraph is pretty harsh and if someone really does have emotional
* problems (and I'm not going to judge that--at least not publicly), it
* seems pretty cruel to say what you did.

Worse than calling her a drama queen?

And what is so bad about saying someone has emotional problems? If
I said that so-and-so had cancer, or diabetes or some other serious
physical problem, would that be considered harsh? It's only harsh
if you think that emotional problems are an indication of something
bad about the person. I don't blame her for it, or think that she is
less worthy of respect or compassion than anyone else. But I think
that if you read her posts, you can see that she has a lot of mood
swings, strong, painful emotions, and does a lot of impulsive things.
So I'm not pointing anything out that most of us have not already seen.

The point of my post was simply that I don't think Kyla is deliberately
being a drama-queen. I think that she's going through a lot and it
sounds to me like it's pretty overwhelming. Why is saying that an insult
to a person? I'm just asking people to cut her some slack because I
don't see how she's hurting anyone. And if she's not hurting anyone,
then there's no legitimate reason for anyone to object to what she does.

--
Joyce * ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)


Yes, I think it's worse than calling someone a drama queen. "Drama
queen," just by its implication, is meant to be sort of funny. We
call several of my co-workers that to their faces. I've been called
it before. No one gets upset by that. I think even calling someone a
f'ing nutcase is less cruel than what you said. I don't know quite
how to explain it.

When I was in college, many, many years ago, I lived in a coed dorm
and, late at night, several of my friends and acquaintances would play
what we called the "Truth Game." Well, when you're 18 or 19, at least
back then, we were all kind of vulnerable and the rule of the game was
that, if you played and stayed in the room to hear everyone else, you
agreed to truthfully answer any question asked of you. You can
imagine how people that age try to go for the weaknesses in others
sometimes just to get a laugh or have a little fun. People in the
group would be dissolved in tears over what they felt they had to say
and it was kind of awful but not awful enough to stop. And it was the
sort of thing where everyone felt the need/desire to "shrink" everyone
else and, really, what could you know at the age of 18 when you're
taking Psych 101? But the vulnerable, hurt, crying person would take
to heart what the others said. It was only later, when talking about
it to someone older and wiser, that I realized that people can damage
other people by their lack of knowledge. I'd much rather someone call
me a freaking whackjob than seriously discuss, for all the world to
see, why they think I'm mentally ill or emotionally unstable. People
need to save face and people maybe need to invent who they are, to
some extent. "We tell ourselves stories in order to live." (Joan
Didion, a writer who had some massive emotional/mental problems)

I guess you didn't mean it viciously, I'm sure you didn't, but it's
sort of pop psychology or psycho-babble, isn't it? And that can harm
people. Everyone on Usenet forms opinions about people from what they
write and, cripe, I've flamed with the best of them (well, in my
opinion) in some groups but this group has a different bent...the
kinder, gentler newsgroup. I'm surprised sometimes how some of the
people here put themselves so blatantly "out there" for all the world
to see. It just seems cruel to shoot someone down who has done that
when it seems so encouraged here. And, face it, you guys are a little
"cliquey," but it's not a private group, anyone can read it and join
in. There's plenty of stuff about myself I wouldn't post here but a
lot of people here do it.

I realize I haven't explained anything and I'm beginning to bore even
myself. I was just shocked by what you wrote and I was embarrassed
for the person you directed it to. I wouldn't want to see that
written about me after I had opened myself up to so many people. I
would be very hurt and mortified. It's like I don't mind ****ing
people off or being a little bitchy to them but I don't really want to
hurt someone on a personal level. And that seemed hurtful to me.

Candace
  #76  
Old July 22nd 08, 09:07 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Matthew[_3_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,287
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(


wrote in message
...
Candace wrote:

Whoa, as an "outsider," who mostly posts on rpchb (which I know many
of you find disgusting, annoying, and offensive but which is actually
just plain boring right now), this thread has a definite old rpchb
feel to it. I have to say that to say what you said in your first
paragraph is pretty harsh and if someone really does have emotional
problems (and I'm not going to judge that--at least not publicly), it
seems pretty cruel to say what you did.


Worse than calling her a drama queen?

And what is so bad about saying someone has emotional problems? If
I said that so-and-so had cancer, or diabetes or some other serious
physical problem, would that be considered harsh? It's only harsh
if you think that emotional problems are an indication of something
bad about the person. I don't blame her for it, or think that she is
less worthy of respect or compassion than anyone else. But I think
that if you read her posts, you can see that she has a lot of mood
swings, strong, painful emotions, and does a lot of impulsive things.
So I'm not pointing anything out that most of us have not already seen.

The point of my post was simply that I don't think Kyla is deliberately
being a drama-queen. I think that she's going through a lot and it
sounds to me like it's pretty overwhelming. Why is saying that an insult
to a person? I'm just asking people to cut her some slack because I
don't see how she's hurting anyone. And if she's not hurting anyone,
then there's no legitimate reason for anyone to object to what she does.

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)


Agreed
time to move one People and it needs to stop please

We all have had our times here good and bad

Simple words kill file if it bothers you move on if there is a problem



  #77  
Old July 22nd 08, 11:23 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Granby
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 10,742
Default I'm Sorry

"inside a dog it's too dark to read"

I would say something like "not if you read Braille" but that would be
tacky.

"Lesley via CatKB.com" u27720@uwe wrote in message
news:8784902587747@uwe...
CatNipped wrote:




Too true. Who was it who wrote "I'd never be a part of a group who would
have me as a member!" (JOKE) ;

It was Groucho Marx who went invited to become a member of a club said "I
wouldn't want to be part of any club that would have me as a member"

Reminds of one of my favourite Groucho comments: "Outside of a dog a book
is
man's best friend- inside a dog it's too dark to read"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

--
Message posted via CatKB.com
http://www.catkb.com/Uwe/Forums.aspx...dotes/200807/1



  #78  
Old July 22nd 08, 01:56 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
CatNipped[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,003
Default WHAT HAVE I DONE? :(

wrote in message
...
Cheryl wrote:


End Of Rant.


I have less of a problem with Kyla than I do with people who feel they have
the right to chastise people for anything they write that is goes against
how they happen to view the world and, specifically, this group. This is an
unmoderated forum and nobody has been elected to be the PC policeman/woman.

It's sad when someone is made to feel ashamed for posting a joke or
expressing an opinion. Personally, I think that if you don't like what
someone writes, unless it is directed towards you, then ignore it. If you
don't like a poster, killfile them. But *PLEASE* don't make it
uncomfortable for people here to express their true beliefs and feelings for
fear of becoming the object of a witch hunt!

Hugs,

CatNipped


  #79  
Old July 22nd 08, 02:16 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
CatNipped[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 4,003
Default I'm Sorry

"Kyla =^. .^=`" wrote in message
. ..
Geez, I can't seem to do anything right
I've only been here sinch March and have grown to love this group,
and yes I have made mistakes, many, but I'm learning.
I'm so sorry if I've offended people here. Please forgive me.
Hug
Kyla


No, Kyla, the problem is that you're *not* learning. You keep making the
*same* mistake over and over again. You really need to take a few steps
back. The people you see here, being close and personal with each other,
are the people who have been posting here for many years (I started posting
here in 1995, and I'm not the only one from then who is still around). Some
of us have met each other in real life. Most of us have helped each other
over losses and pain over the years because we have been *invited* into each
other's lives. And even *THEN* we don't post letters to people's relatives
and don't send cards, notes, or emails that are unsolicited. Sometimes a
"stranger" who intrudes into someone's personal grief can be hurtful in
their ignorance.

I think you're probably a very sweet person, but you seem to be just too
self involved to think about what your actions might look like to others.
And when someone gets offended by you, you think that writing "I'm in tears"
will garner enough sympathy for others to overlook what you seem to do again
and again. It might have worked the first or second time, but, frankly,
it's getting old.

I'm sorry, I know I've just hurt your feelings, but if you can get past that
and take the advice that I, and others, are offering, you'll find you'll fit
much better into the group and won't have the problems you're having now.

Hugs,

CatNipped


  #80  
Old July 22nd 08, 02:35 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Will in New Haven
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 5,073
Default I'm Sorry

On Jul 21, 6:12*pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
"Sherry" wrote in message

...
On Jul 21, 4:42 pm, "CatNipped" wrote:





"Kyla =^. .^=`" wrote in
messagenews:OrGdnXHvVvTdNx7VnZ2dnUVZ_vKdnZ2d@comca st.com...


"hopitus"
On Jul 19, 7:39 pm, hopitus
On Jul 19, 7:02 pm, Will in New Haven


wrote:
On Jul 19, 6:01 pm, "tanadashoes"
"Sherry" wrote in message


...
On Jul 19, 3:57 pm, "tanadashoes" :


Next time I'll post child pornography fantasies instead. Sheesh.
Maybe I
need a break from most of you.


Pam S. disgusted by her stupidity


Pam I get the reference (it took me a minute, though)....and it IS
just plain weird, isn't it??
I know you have a wonderfully irreverant sense of humor, and I
also
get that you wouldn't ever offend anybody on purpose.
I remember when I got spanked but good just for using the word
"lifestyle" in blessed ignorance that it might be an offensive
word.
Hell. I didn't know.
Oops. Can I say "hell?"
Maybe you offended some people, now you know. Kick yourself around
for
2 seconds then forget about it. But keep your sense of humor.
That's
what keeps us sane.


Sherry


===============


I'm sorry. I got an email from a friend to warn me about this and
sent one
back saying I could handle it. And I did. Then I saw that email
from Kyla
to Susan about Grandma Shirley's death and lost it. That email was
in as
poor of taste or more as my stupid joke, but not one person said
anything to
her about it. Some of the very people who jumped on the
politically
correct
bandwagon probably thought it was marvelous. I'll tell you, if
Kyla
sends
something so disgusting to us when Rob is fighting his last
battle,
I'll do
something violent.


There you go. Here I was thinking you had been so terribly wronged,
which you had, and you have to prove that your post wasn't so bad by
attacking my friend, who sincerely means well.


--
Will in New Haven
"The welfare of the people has always been the alibi of tyrants, and
it provides the further advantage of giving the servants of tyranny
a
good conscience"
Albert Camus


If your friend is who it would appear you need to keep it back
in rpcc talking catbabble instead of authoring stuff to hurt
people's feelings...."means well" is getting *way* out of hand
or should I say, "send" finger elsewhere than rpcc.


Gee, thanks...
.I never meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I'm not like that, and wish
nothing but the best for Pam and Rob. Cancer is horrible and I feel so
bad for what Pam is goin thru, Rob too, and I am sending them both my
best
wishes for him to get better.
Pam is a wonderful writer, and is going thru a lot, I know.


Here's a nice quote for you:
"Hell is paved with good intentions"
John Ray, 1670


I feel so much better now , and it's The road to hell, BTW
Judge not lest ye be judged
Thanks for brightening my day...NOT!
Kyla


Personally, and I hope you don't take this the wrong way, I think you need
to "back off". I have, in the past, been a bit put off by your
forwardness - even if it is done with good intentions. UseNet is a place
that some people come to so they can have a bit of fun, "vent" to
(virtual)
strangers without worrying about the consequences in their real lives, and
sometimes just let out their sadness as they're perhaps, for whatever
reason, not able to do with their family.


Asking for people's addresses, so you can send them cards or letters, when
you don't even know them, is sort of creepy to me in a "stalkerish" sort
of
way. [I'm even considering taking my name off the Christmas card list so
you don't get my address! And I'll be *VERY* resentful if I have to do
that
because I have enjoyed exchanging Christmas cards with the people here for
4
or 5 years now!]


I understand that some people come here and see all the closeness of this
group and want to just dive in - but most of us have been "friends" for
years and years and have, only slowly, come to trust one another. For a
newcomer to expect the same is unrealistic and naive and, again, can be
very
off-putting.


This isn't the first time you've had to post an apology about being too
forward or "putting your foot in your mouth", in fact I don't even think
it's the second or third time! Maybe you should just try reading a bit and
stay more impersonal until people get to know you better or invite you to
be
closer.


Hugs,


CatNipped- Hide quoted text -


CN, I think this was well-put, the part about being patient when
joining
a new group, and giving folks time to really get to know you.
I am in another group (not cat group)...and it is much like rpca, very
nice folks, lots of helpful info. for anyone, newbie or not. But I got
turned
down the first year for admission into their mailing list. I kept
posting
and kept reading, asking questions or giving advice myself if I knew
an
answer. After about 3 years, I finally feel like a part of the group,
and not
an oustsider. They've been posting for many years, lots of them know
each
other IRL.
People are just wary about IRL contact with people they only barely
know
online. And rightly so, I reckon. It doesn't mean they hate you, for
sure. It
just means you're being too forward and forcing a type of intimacy way
too
soon.
BTW, I got on the mailing list this year :-). I truly wasn't offended
when I got
rejected, because I got a *very* nice e-mail explaining how the list
contains
home addresses, and they're just so careful about who gets it. It
makes
me feel better now, actually, knowing that *my* address is on it, and
it's
not going to be freely given out.

Sherry

=============================================

Too true. *Who was it who wrote "I'd never be a part of a group who would
have me as a member!" (JOKE) *


Groucho Marx, although he said "club" instead of "group. I doubt that
he was the first to use that, though. Some jokes and even whole
routines are very old. The famous "Who's on First" skit was old before
Abbot and Costello were born.

--
Will in New Haven



Hugs,

CatNipped- Hide quoted text -

- Show quoted text -


 




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