Feeling challenged and confused

In article ,
itty (Sherry ) wrote:

Especially among kids who "leave home", but expect their parents to take
over responsibility for any pets, etc. they choose to leave behind on
"will call"!


I can't really say much about kids moving out and leaving cats. Each of
mine
left their cat. But I insisted. By then, Cherokee and Yoda were both old.
They
were both more attached to "their place" than "their people." It's just
that
'Oh, I'm overwhelmed, somebody must take these cats" attitude I was
hearing.
Granted, the kids *should* be the first ones to step in and help out.
Sherry

In the particular circumstance, from all I can tell, there was
considerable conflict about values, before the marriage broke up.

In article ,
itty (Sherry ) wrote:

Especially among kids who "leave home", but expect their parents to take
over responsibility for any pets, etc. they choose to leave behind on
"will call"!


I can't really say much about kids moving out and leaving cats. Each of
mine
left their cat. But I insisted. By then, Cherokee and Yoda were both old.
They
were both more attached to "their place" than "their people." It's just
that
'Oh, I'm overwhelmed, somebody must take these cats" attitude I was
hearing.
Granted, the kids *should* be the first ones to step in and help out.
Sherry

In the particular circumstance, from all I can tell, there was
considerable conflict about values, before the marriage broke up.

Mary wrote:

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:


but there's a little too much expectation
in this country that other people are available to assume responsibility

for

pets that we are tired of.

Especially among kids who "leave home", but expect their parents to take

over responsibility for any pets, etc. they choose to leave behind on "will
call"!


And who raised those kids and instilled values
regarding pets?

Yeah, I guess you have a point.

Mary wrote:

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:


but there's a little too much expectation
in this country that other people are available to assume responsibility

for

pets that we are tired of.

Especially among kids who "leave home", but expect their parents to take

over responsibility for any pets, etc. they choose to leave behind on "will
call"!


And who raised those kids and instilled values
regarding pets?

Yeah, I guess you have a point.

Mary wrote:

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:


but there's a little too much expectation
in this country that other people are available to assume responsibility

for

pets that we are tired of.

Especially among kids who "leave home", but expect their parents to take

over responsibility for any pets, etc. they choose to leave behind on "will
call"!


And who raised those kids and instilled values
regarding pets?

Yeah, I guess you have a point.

In article , Howard
Berkowitz wrote:

A lady friend told me last night that she felt overwhelmed by her pets,
two cats and a dog. If I understand correctly, each of the cats were
adopted by her children while living at home, but, with divorce, medical
school/residency, and law school, the pets remained at home.

While the cats' physical needs are met, they don't get much attention;
my friend is much closer to her dog. They seem pleasant enough cats when
I have interacted with them. One is a grey-and-white DSH, 13 years old,
and the other something VERY furry and younger -- I don't know the age.

My friend, however, asked me if I knew anyone who would take them, even
if she had to drive them a long distance from the Maryland suburbs of DC.

It's a messy situation, both personally and for the cats. I don't know
enough of the background to tell if the cats really were adopted for the
children, and then dumped on human Mom. I feel a very strong lifelong
commitment to mine, but I deliberately adopted them (or vice versa [1]).

One answer would be taking her cats, but I already have three and am not
sure how they would react. Now, there are some nice indications for me
that I might be starting to recover from the dot-com crash, but finances
aren't great, and I'm not sure I can provide the additional veterinary
coverage as needed. Maybe in a few months. My biggest concern, however,
is bringing two older and perhaps less socialized cats into my home with
three extremely affectionate, socialized and intelligent four-legged
family members.

Any bright thoughts?

The situation has gotten worse. She's now talking of having the older
cat (she thinks 14) euthanized, as she's called all manner of no-kill
shelters and they won't take one that old. She has said he may have some
rectal bleeding, and she suspects diabetes for some reason -- no tests
have been done. When I was talking to her a couple of nights ago, she
started crying, and said she wasn't going to tell me the plan, but did.
I've urged her at least to get a thorough examination of Sugar, the
older cat -- if there is real disease, that's another matter.

I've offered to try to take them in, feeling desperate about it,
although there are real house and money issues. I can't say the cats
know me well, but they are at least pleasant when I've visited (and they
aren't either hiding or locked up). How my closely bonded three would
respond is quite another matter. One oif the house problems is that
there are far too many hiding places now.

In article , Howard
Berkowitz wrote:

A lady friend told me last night that she felt overwhelmed by her pets,
two cats and a dog. If I understand correctly, each of the cats were
adopted by her children while living at home, but, with divorce, medical
school/residency, and law school, the pets remained at home.

While the cats' physical needs are met, they don't get much attention;
my friend is much closer to her dog. They seem pleasant enough cats when
I have interacted with them. One is a grey-and-white DSH, 13 years old,
and the other something VERY furry and younger -- I don't know the age.

My friend, however, asked me if I knew anyone who would take them, even
if she had to drive them a long distance from the Maryland suburbs of DC.

It's a messy situation, both personally and for the cats. I don't know
enough of the background to tell if the cats really were adopted for the
children, and then dumped on human Mom. I feel a very strong lifelong
commitment to mine, but I deliberately adopted them (or vice versa [1]).

One answer would be taking her cats, but I already have three and am not
sure how they would react. Now, there are some nice indications for me
that I might be starting to recover from the dot-com crash, but finances
aren't great, and I'm not sure I can provide the additional veterinary
coverage as needed. Maybe in a few months. My biggest concern, however,
is bringing two older and perhaps less socialized cats into my home with
three extremely affectionate, socialized and intelligent four-legged
family members.

Any bright thoughts?

The situation has gotten worse. She's now talking of having the older
cat (she thinks 14) euthanized, as she's called all manner of no-kill
shelters and they won't take one that old. She has said he may have some
rectal bleeding, and she suspects diabetes for some reason -- no tests
have been done. When I was talking to her a couple of nights ago, she
started crying, and said she wasn't going to tell me the plan, but did.
I've urged her at least to get a thorough examination of Sugar, the
older cat -- if there is real disease, that's another matter.

I've offered to try to take them in, feeling desperate about it,
although there are real house and money issues. I can't say the cats
know me well, but they are at least pleasant when I've visited (and they
aren't either hiding or locked up). How my closely bonded three would
respond is quite another matter. One oif the house problems is that
there are far too many hiding places now.

In article , Howard
Berkowitz wrote:

A lady friend told me last night that she felt overwhelmed by her pets,
two cats and a dog. If I understand correctly, each of the cats were
adopted by her children while living at home, but, with divorce, medical
school/residency, and law school, the pets remained at home.

While the cats' physical needs are met, they don't get much attention;
my friend is much closer to her dog. They seem pleasant enough cats when
I have interacted with them. One is a grey-and-white DSH, 13 years old,
and the other something VERY furry and younger -- I don't know the age.

My friend, however, asked me if I knew anyone who would take them, even
if she had to drive them a long distance from the Maryland suburbs of DC.

It's a messy situation, both personally and for the cats. I don't know
enough of the background to tell if the cats really were adopted for the
children, and then dumped on human Mom. I feel a very strong lifelong
commitment to mine, but I deliberately adopted them (or vice versa [1]).

One answer would be taking her cats, but I already have three and am not
sure how they would react. Now, there are some nice indications for me
that I might be starting to recover from the dot-com crash, but finances
aren't great, and I'm not sure I can provide the additional veterinary
coverage as needed. Maybe in a few months. My biggest concern, however,
is bringing two older and perhaps less socialized cats into my home with
three extremely affectionate, socialized and intelligent four-legged
family members.

Any bright thoughts?

The situation has gotten worse. She's now talking of having the older
cat (she thinks 14) euthanized, as she's called all manner of no-kill
shelters and they won't take one that old. She has said he may have some
rectal bleeding, and she suspects diabetes for some reason -- no tests
have been done. When I was talking to her a couple of nights ago, she
started crying, and said she wasn't going to tell me the plan, but did.
I've urged her at least to get a thorough examination of Sugar, the
older cat -- if there is real disease, that's another matter.

I've offered to try to take them in, feeling desperate about it,
although there are real house and money issues. I can't say the cats
know me well, but they are at least pleasant when I've visited (and they
aren't either hiding or locked up). How my closely bonded three would
respond is quite another matter. One oif the house problems is that
there are far too many hiding places now.

In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.anecdotes", Howard Berkowitz
artfully composed this message within
on 18 Aug 2004:

I've offered to try to take them in, feeling desperate about it,
although there are real house and money issues. I can't say the
cats know me well, but they are at least pleasant when I've
visited (and they aren't either hiding or locked up). How my
closely bonded three would respond is quite another matter. One
oif the house problems is that there are far too many hiding
places now.

Howard, this is desperate, and so sad. I wish I had some suggestions
but other than putting up some flyers with sad stories (which this
is) appealing for adopters, I'm not sure what to say. I notice that
you're in my area (DC area) and I have admin access to Petfinder via
a local shelter. I've posted desperate a story on there before with
photos of a cat who wasn't in the shelter system but needed a home,
and I'm sure they'd let me again if you'd like to advertize them
there. Many purrs for your friend and her cats.

--
Cheryl

In the fine newsgroup "rec.pets.cats.anecdotes", Howard Berkowitz
artfully composed this message within
on 18 Aug 2004:

I've offered to try to take them in, feeling desperate about it,
although there are real house and money issues. I can't say the
cats know me well, but they are at least pleasant when I've
visited (and they aren't either hiding or locked up). How my
closely bonded three would respond is quite another matter. One
oif the house problems is that there are far too many hiding
places now.

Howard, this is desperate, and so sad. I wish I had some suggestions
but other than putting up some flyers with sad stories (which this
is) appealing for adopters, I'm not sure what to say. I notice that
you're in my area (DC area) and I have admin access to Petfinder via
a local shelter. I've posted desperate a story on there before with
photos of a cat who wasn't in the shelter system but needed a home,
and I'm sure they'd let me again if you'd like to advertize them
there. Many purrs for your friend and her cats.

--
Cheryl