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#1
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Horse sense (OT)(Long)
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.
Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to fall asleep on his feet. I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. |
#2
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ROFL. Years ago, after a lot of practice, this big-city critter learned and
to this day can crack a bullwhip (dunno what a horsewhip is) like Lash Larue (remember him?...well, probably not.....try Zorro). What your DW needs is practice. "David Yehudah" wrote in message ... : My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. : : Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost : exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets : a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained : Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels : as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. : : Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a : real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady : gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his : paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I : both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. : : Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't : want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize : that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So : she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run : by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers : responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn : plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to : fall asleep on his feet. : : I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and : drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. : : Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in : the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around : here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her : shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither : she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. : : And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a : piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a : straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge : almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. : : That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her : knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she : tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. : |
#3
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ROFL. Years ago, after a lot of practice, this big-city critter learned and
to this day can crack a bullwhip (dunno what a horsewhip is) like Lash Larue (remember him?...well, probably not.....try Zorro). What your DW needs is practice. "David Yehudah" wrote in message ... : My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. : : Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost : exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets : a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained : Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels : as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. : : Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a : real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady : gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his : paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I : both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. : : Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't : want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize : that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So : she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run : by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers : responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn : plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to : fall asleep on his feet. : : I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and : drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. : : Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in : the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around : here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her : shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither : she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. : : And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a : piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a : straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge : almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. : : That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her : knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she : tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. : |
#4
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David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to fall asleep on his feet. I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. ROFL!!!! Er, that would be the proper gait! LOL Now this is my first *ever* memory, okay? We are talking about me being slightly less than a year old. My great-great uncle raised walkers but also had a nag in the corral. So my family is visiting these folks, the Stokely's. Dad puts me up on this nag and they are all standing there, talking. Each with (of course) bourbon on the rocks - what else would you serve your great grand nephew in Virginia except mint juleps? So I'm sitting on this horse and she twitches her tail and I fall off and start crying. My mother never believed I remembered that until I described them standing there, holding rocks glasses. Like a -1 year old would have a clue what rocks glasses were, the colour of the liquid or how to describe that damned corral and the ugly nag they put me on. It's amazing I ever got on a horse again G Uh, don't give me a whip, okay? Jill |
#5
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David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to fall asleep on his feet. I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. ROFL!!!! Er, that would be the proper gait! LOL Now this is my first *ever* memory, okay? We are talking about me being slightly less than a year old. My great-great uncle raised walkers but also had a nag in the corral. So my family is visiting these folks, the Stokely's. Dad puts me up on this nag and they are all standing there, talking. Each with (of course) bourbon on the rocks - what else would you serve your great grand nephew in Virginia except mint juleps? So I'm sitting on this horse and she twitches her tail and I fall off and start crying. My mother never believed I remembered that until I described them standing there, holding rocks glasses. Like a -1 year old would have a clue what rocks glasses were, the colour of the liquid or how to describe that damned corral and the ugly nag they put me on. It's amazing I ever got on a horse again G Uh, don't give me a whip, okay? Jill |
#6
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David Yehudah wrote:
And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it) LOL - I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't anger a woman with a whip in her hand, but in this case, it sounds like you weren't in much danger. Maybe she could take lessons? Joyce |
#7
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David Yehudah wrote:
And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it) LOL - I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't anger a woman with a whip in her hand, but in this case, it sounds like you weren't in much danger. Maybe she could take lessons? Joyce |
#8
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ROFL, Dave -- this is priceless! Thanks for the laugh and purrs for Patty's
posterior! Christine "David Yehudah" wrote in message ... My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to fall asleep on his feet. I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. |
#9
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ROFL, Dave -- this is priceless! Thanks for the laugh and purrs for Patty's
posterior! Christine "David Yehudah" wrote in message ... My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks. Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous. Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to fall asleep on his feet. I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip. Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget. And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet. That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble. |
#10
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David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal. That is *too* funny!!! BTW, what is a gait? -- Victor Martinez Owned and operated by the Fantastic Seven (TM) Send your spam he Email me he |
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