A Week

....

So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house-- in a
world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when I get to
the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's bed. When I
walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the table. My mind
cannot get around the idea that he will not come back. Even though his
ashes are now sitting in a little green tin on the table. When I brought
home Mimi's ashes, that opened the floodgates and I knew she was gone.
Even that hasn't done it for me with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes
sitting where he use to sit, I still don't believe it.
I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak went through with Betty-- I
saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still think he's coming
back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell on those terrible
moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of course, but I still saw
him-- and held him-- while he went from my sweet, alive Stinky boy to a
lifeless, staring rag in my arms. When the doctor put the needle in his
leg, I went down on my knees and made him look right into my face, so it
would be the last thing he saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and
then his poor dead body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has
been hard not to think about, especially at night.

(((((((((((Theresa)))))))))
I know how hard this is for you, as we went through the same thing with
Mutt.
Bless your poor broken heart
Love and healing purrs
Kyla


--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

Kreisleriana wrote:
So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house--
in a world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when
I get to the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's
bed. When I walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the
table. My mind cannot get around the idea that he will not come
back. Even though his ashes are now sitting in a little green tin on
the table. When I brought home Mimi's ashes, that opened the
floodgates and I knew she was gone. Even that hasn't done it for me
with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes sitting where he use to sit,
I still don't believe it. I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak
went through with
Betty-- I saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still
think he's coming back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell
on those terrible moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of
course, but I still saw him-- and held him-- while he went from my
sweet, alive Stinky boy to a lifeless, staring rag in my arms. When
the doctor put the needle in his leg, I went down on my knees and
made him look right into my face, so it would be the last thing he
saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and then his poor dead
body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has been hard not
to think about, especially at night.

Theresa, its almost a year to the day since Shmogg was sent to theBridge. In
that year, many good things have happened, and hte hurt isn't so raw and
ever present as it once was. But it still hurts. I still second guess myself
as to wehther I should have waited a little while longer, even though my
head says that I probably waited too long. I still remember his last
shuddering breath, of how I tried in vain to close the lifeless staring eyes
he left. Of how I thought it was important that at least I had my hand on
him until *I* knew he was dead, even though thevet had called it several
minutes earlier (he exhaled a shudder about 5 minutes after his heart
stopped beating). I remember htat day like it was yesterday. Whilst i have
stopped looking for him, when i see a photo of him, its like he hasn't
truly gone, and itslike I wonder for an instant why I haven't seen him in
Real Life for a second or two until I realise that the cold hard reality of
the situation. I have three more cats, and whilst I love them all, they
aren't Shmogg and I'd probably trade all three toget Shmogg back. But that
wouldn't be fair on the current three, or Shmogg for that matter. Cary now
calls any stripey cat "Shmoggleberry". He doesn't know how that pangs me.
But it is a testament to the memory that Shmogg left in his three year old
brain.

It sucks, and life will never be quite the same without him. But, a year
later, I can tell you that it stops hurting all the time. You will be able
to smile and laugh again, and wont' go to peices when accidently walking
throughthe cat food aisle like a I did a few days after Shmogg died (I just
habitually walked in, picked out a few cans that Shmogg liked (had to be
loaf style or whole fish, none of htis gravy nonsense) ,a nd then went to
peices as I realised I didn't have to). A year later, I can type this to
you, with tears pricking at my eyes but not quite breaking through. I can
remember Shmogg, hold him to my heart, and smile a sad, wry smile at 17 damn
good years.

In the mean time, don't beat yoruself up tha tyou are grieving more than you
thoughtyou would, or more than other people think you should for 'just some
cat'. Love is love, it doesn't discriminate. And that, in the end, is what
is making you grieve so deeply - if you didn't love Stinky so much, you
owuldn't be feeling liek this. Let that love be a testament to Stinky, and
let the tears flow for as long as you need them to flow - and if you really
do feel like youaren't coping, please turn to someone who specialises in
grief councilling if needs be.

{{{{{Theresa}}}}}

Yowie

As time passes you'll be remembering those happy Stinky moments rather than
how he was at the end - I know that doesn't help much now but know that we
understand what it's like and we are thinking of you and sending purrs,
Christine
"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...

So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house-- in a
world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when I get to
the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's bed. When I
walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the table. My mind
cannot get around the idea that he will not come back. Even though his
ashes are now sitting in a little green tin on the table. When I brought
home Mimi's ashes, that opened the floodgates and I knew she was gone.
Even that hasn't done it for me with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes
sitting where he use to sit, I still don't believe it.
I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak went through with Betty-- I
saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still think he's coming
back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell on those terrible
moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of course, but I still saw
him-- and held him-- while he went from my sweet, alive Stinky boy to a
lifeless, staring rag in my arms. When the doctor put the needle in his
leg, I went down on my knees and made him look right into my face, so it
would be the last thing he saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and
then his poor dead body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has
been hard not to think about, especially at night.


--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ Theresa }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It really does get easier to remember the good times, but not for a
while. Remember that we're here for you and share your pain.

Purrs of comfort for your grieving heart are still on the way.

Sam, supervised by Mistletoe

Kreisleriana wrote:
So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house--
in a world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when
I get to the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's
bed. When I walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the
table. My mind cannot get around the idea that he will not come
back. Even though his ashes are now sitting in a little green tin on
the table. When I brought home Mimi's ashes, that opened the
floodgates and I knew she was gone. Even that hasn't done it for me
with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes sitting where he use to sit,
I still don't believe it. I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak
went through with
Betty-- I saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still
think he's coming back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell
on those terrible moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of
course, but I still saw him-- and held him-- while he went from my
sweet, alive Stinky boy to a lifeless, staring rag in my arms. When
the doctor put the needle in his leg, I went down on my knees and
made him look right into my face, so it would be the last thing he
saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and then his poor dead
body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has been hard not
to think about, especially at night.

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh


((((((((((Theresa))))))))) I know exactly how you feel. It's so hard and
I'm so sorry.

Jill

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...

So it's been almost a week without him. So weird to be in a house-- in a
world-- without Stinky. I expect to see him all the time-- when I get to
the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's bed. When I
walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the table. My mind
cannot get around the idea that he will not come back. Even though his
ashes are now sitting in a little green tin on the table. When I brought
home Mimi's ashes, that opened the floodgates and I knew she was gone.
Even that hasn't done it for me with Stinky. Even with the box of ashes
sitting where he use to sit, I still don't believe it.
I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak went through with Betty-- I
saw my beloved die. Even though I saw him die, I still think he's coming
back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell on those terrible
moments. He was not a well cat at the end, of course, but I still saw
him-- and held him-- while he went from my sweet, alive Stinky boy to a
lifeless, staring rag in my arms. When the doctor put the needle in his
leg, I went down on my knees and made him look right into my face, so it
would be the last thing he saw. But the last thing I saw was him die, and
then his poor dead body. That was the last time I was with him, so it has
been hard not to think about, especially at night.


When they've been there through so many of your years, it is hard to believe
they are no longer there. One of the stages of mourning. Dante and your
mom and us will get you through this. Many hugs and purrs.

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
snip


Theresa, its almost a year to the day since Shmogg was sent to theBridge.
In that year, many good things have happened, and hte hurt isn't so raw
and ever present as it once was. But it still hurts. snip I remember
htat day like it was yesterday. Whilst i have stopped looking for him,
when i see a photo of him, its like he hasn't truly gone, and itslike I
wonder for an instant why I haven't seen him in Real Life for a second or
two until I realise that the cold hard reality of the situation. I have
three more cats, and whilst I love them all, they aren't Shmogg and I'd
probably trade all three toget Shmogg back.

It sucks, and life will never be quite the same without him. But, a year
later, I can tell you that it stops hurting all the time. You will be able
to smile and laugh again,

I so need to hear this. Tony died May 6th. It isn't like it was for the
first 3.5 weeks where I just couldn't breathe, but it still tears me up when
I think about it - like now or when I see a picture and I am breathless all
over again. I really thought I knew what people were going through when they
lost someone close or a close pet, but I have to honestly admit that until
May 6th, 10:30 am, I honestly did not have a clue. And while I am glad for
every day of the 14 years I had him, that day stands out as the single most
painful thing that I think has ever happened in my life. I don't have a
single regret about anything I ever did with him down to the last decision I
had to make, but it still hurts 5 months later - enough that I usually don't
read RB posts unless it is someone I know well (Theresa and Stinky are
obviously up there).

And, now, with Vicki's assurance that it keeps getting better, I am going to
go take a hot shower and unstop my nose. (for all concerned, yes, I am in
therapy - way before Tony died and I am talking about it.

Theresa. I have thought about you often this last week. My thoughts and
prayers are with you.

Bridget

and wont' go to peices when accidently walking
throughthe cat food aisle like a I did a few days after Shmogg died (I
just habitually walked in, picked out a few cans that Shmogg liked (had to
be loaf style or whole fish, none of htis gravy nonsense) ,a nd then went
to peices as I realised I didn't have to). A year later, I can type this
to you, with tears pricking at my eyes but not quite breaking through. I
can remember Shmogg, hold him to my heart, and smile a sad, wry smile at
17 damn good years.

In the mean time, don't beat yoruself up tha tyou are grieving more than
you thoughtyou would, or more than other people think you should for 'just
some cat'. Love is love, it doesn't discriminate. And that, in the end, is
what is making you grieve so deeply - if you didn't love Stinky so much,
you owuldn't be feeling liek this. Let that love be a testament to Stinky,
and let the tears flow for as long as you need them to flow - and if you
really do feel like youaren't coping, please turn to someone who
specialises in grief councilling if needs be.

{{{{{Theresa}}}}}

Yowie

Again, I'd like to thank you all for your kindness to me and your incredible
affection and good will to my Stinky. I know this is going to be a slow
process-- I and many of you have been there before-- but it is somehow newly
painful every time.



Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
...

So it's been almost a week without him.

{{{{{{{{{Theresa and Dante}}}}}}}}}

Pam S and the owners

On Oct 6, 6:58*am, "Kreisleriana" wrote:
So it's been almost a week without him. *So weird to be in a house-- in a
world-- without Stinky. *I expect to see him all the time-- when I get to
the top of the stairs, I expect to see him lounging on Mom's bed. *When I
walk into the dining room, I expect to see him on the table. *My mind cannot
get around the idea that he will not come back. *Even though his ashes are
now sitting in a little green tin on the table. *When I brought home Mimi's
ashes, that opened the floodgates and *I knew she was gone. *Even that
hasn't done it for me with Stinky. *Even with the box of ashes sitting where
he use to sit, I still don't believe it.
I'm understanding, too, something of what Tak went through with Betty-- I
saw my beloved die. *Even though I saw him die, I still think he's coming
back-- but even though I think that, I still dwell on those terrible
moments. *He was not a well cat at the end, of course, but I still saw him-- *
and held him-- while he went from my sweet, alive Stinky boy to a lifeless,
staring rag in my arms. *When the doctor put the needle in his leg, I went
down on my knees and made him look right into my face, so it would be the
last thing he saw. *But the last thing I saw was him die, and then his poor
dead body. *That was the last time I was with him, so it has been hard not
to think about, especially at night.

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever:http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

--
Theresa and Dante
drtmuirATearthlink.net

Stinky Forever:http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh

{{{Theresa}}}

Been there done that, cried the tears. Stinky was a cat in a million,
of course you're in mourning and in denial that he won't come back.
It's not much comfort now, but it won't be this sad and difficult
forever. Feeling for you,

Melissa