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#1
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"Widowed" cat will not stop crying
Hi,
Until 2 months ago, I had 2 wonderful older cats. The 15 year old male was finally put down when his cancer was too much for both of us. My 17 year old spayed female cat, who has been left behind, now howls deep gutteral meows on and off all day and night. I thought after a few months it would improve, but it has not. I go to find her and she will be sitting on the edge of the counter howling with all of her might. I will pick her up and cuddle or take her back to bed, and she will purr and be fine, but within an hour, she will be at it again. I know she has been traumatized by losing her friend, but I just don't know what else to do to console her. Does anyone have any suggestions? Love and treats just doesn't seem to be working and I have no interest in bringing another cat into the house as a replacement. It is obvious she is miserable, and I hate to see my sweetheart in so much pain. Thanks in advance to all responders - I am at a loss. |
#2
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"Mimi" wrote: ...but I just don't know what else to do to console her. Sure you do, but you don't want to do it. I understand. I "had no interest" in adopting another cat when my cat died at age 20--until two months had passed. Maybe everyone has their own inner time table for this sort of thing. Maybe you will never want another cat, but I hope not. You know there are so many kittens and adults who need you, and while no cat can replace your sweet boy, one might come to be your heart's delight just the same. Your kitty is lonely for her lost companion. He will never be replaced for her either, but another cat who needs a home could at least distract her. When you are ready, if you ever are, please consider opening your broken heart to another kitty. It helped mine to heal. Don't want a kitten due to the hassle of training one? Get a young adult that has been socialized at a no-kill shelter, if they have one in your area. Sweetest, best behaved, most grateful cats ever. |
#3
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Sure you do, but you don't want to do it. I understand. I "had no
interest" in adopting another cat when my cat died at age 20--until two months had passed. Maybe everyone has their own inner time table for this sort of thing. Maybe you will never want another cat, but I hope not. You know there are so many kittens and adults who need you, and while no cat can replace your sweet boy, one might come to be your heart's delight just the same. Your kitty is lonely for her lost companion. He will never be replaced for her either, but another cat who needs a home could at least distract her. When you are ready, if you ever are, please consider opening your broken heart to another kitty. It helped mine to heal. Don't want a kitten due to the hassle of training one? Get a young adult that has been socialized at a no-kill shelter, if they have one in your area. Sweetest, best behaved, most grateful cats ever. Not so fast. I can't say I agree with you at all. The cat is 17 years old, no spring chicken, so a kitten may be way to rambunctious for her. As far as an older one is concerned, you seem to come from it at the point of view of the new cat "socialized." What about the sensitivities of the resident cat. This is her home for many years and I am sure she has her territory all staked out. Are you sure she will accept a transgressor in her territory. Are you sure the adjustment period wouldn't be too streesful for her? I understand the thought behind it, and if she were much younger I would readily agree. |
#4
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"GovtLawyer" wrote Not so fast. I can't say I agree with you at all. Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion that is .... just fine. :') The cat is 17 years old, no spring chicken, so a kitten may be way to rambunctious for her. Since you read this group, you know that reports about introducing a new cat vary. Some have more success with a kitten because it is less threatening, some with a full-grown cat for the reasons you state. Which is why I also offered the suggestion of an older cat. As far as an older one is concerned, you seem to come from it at the point of view of the new cat "socialized." What about the sensitivities of the resident cat. This is her home for many years and I am sure she has her territory all staked out. Are you sure she will accept a transgressor in her territory. Are you sure the adjustment period wouldn't be too streesful for her? Okay, now go back and try reading my reply again. Notice all the sensitive talk about "timing?" Hmmm? And why would you assume that I am "sure" about anything concerning a cat I don't know? What I do know is that I and many others have had cats that grieved for their lost buds, and I, and many others, have introduced new cats which seemed to help. I did it (as I said in my post, reading comprehension, man!) when my 20-year-old died, and my 16-year-old did just fine. They are best buds now. Remember, her cat is accustomed to having another cat around. Which is my reason for making the suggestion. I understand the thought behind it, and if she were much younger I would readily agree. Trust the OP to know what is right for her cat and what is or is not working out. Only she knows why she "has no interest" in offering a home to another cat, but the way it sounds like she loves her current and past cat, I would bet it is grief and not wanting to seem to try to "replace" the irreplaceable boy. However, there may be other reasons, and she may not be open to adopting another cat at all. My advice was offered because it worked for my older, grieving, lonely girl. All we know is our experiences. I take it you have been in the OP's position and had a new cat upset your older surviving cat so much you could not keep it, eh? |
#5
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Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion
that is .... just fine. :') Your reaction is a bit hysterical. So, I said I disagreed and gave my reasons why. Why are you getting all bent out of shape. Sure, the pet owner knows what's best, I just thought it might be worthwhile that she hear another opinion about it. I didn't put your's or anyone elses opinion down, I just offered an alternative one. Relax. |
#6
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"GovtLawyer" wrote in message ... Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion that is .... just fine. :') Your reaction is a bit hysterical. Is that why I was smiling? So, I said I disagreed and gave my reasons why. Why are you getting all bent out of shape. Gov, darling, I actually put a SMILEY there. Bent out of shape? Um, not quite. I thought your reaction was pretty extreme "Not so fast!" when there wasn't anything I said that four other people also said. Just suggestions. Mild suggestions. With lots of alternatives like, wait a while, maybe a kitten, maybe a grown cat, maybe you just really won't WANT another cat. So wtf are you on about? Sure, the pet owner knows what's best, I just thought it might be worthwhile that she hear another opinion about it. I didn't put your's or anyone elses opinion down, I just offered an alternative one. Relax. I am relaxed. Honestly. I guess tone is the first thing to go with this medium. |
#7
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"GovtLawyer" wrote in message ... Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion that is .... just fine. :') Your reaction is a bit hysterical. Is that why I was smiling? So, I said I disagreed and gave my reasons why. Why are you getting all bent out of shape. Gov, darling, I actually put a SMILEY there. Bent out of shape? Um, not quite. I thought your reaction was pretty extreme "Not so fast!" when there wasn't anything I said that four other people also said. Just suggestions. Mild suggestions. With lots of alternatives like, wait a while, maybe a kitten, maybe a grown cat, maybe you just really won't WANT another cat. So wtf are you on about? Sure, the pet owner knows what's best, I just thought it might be worthwhile that she hear another opinion about it. I didn't put your's or anyone elses opinion down, I just offered an alternative one. Relax. I am relaxed. Honestly. I guess tone is the first thing to go with this medium. |
#8
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Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion
that is .... just fine. :') Your reaction is a bit hysterical. So, I said I disagreed and gave my reasons why. Why are you getting all bent out of shape. Sure, the pet owner knows what's best, I just thought it might be worthwhile that she hear another opinion about it. I didn't put your's or anyone elses opinion down, I just offered an alternative one. Relax. |
#9
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"GovtLawyer" wrote Not so fast. I can't say I agree with you at all. Whoa! NO? NO?!!! Well, guess what, Gov, in a free and open discussion that is .... just fine. :') The cat is 17 years old, no spring chicken, so a kitten may be way to rambunctious for her. Since you read this group, you know that reports about introducing a new cat vary. Some have more success with a kitten because it is less threatening, some with a full-grown cat for the reasons you state. Which is why I also offered the suggestion of an older cat. As far as an older one is concerned, you seem to come from it at the point of view of the new cat "socialized." What about the sensitivities of the resident cat. This is her home for many years and I am sure she has her territory all staked out. Are you sure she will accept a transgressor in her territory. Are you sure the adjustment period wouldn't be too streesful for her? Okay, now go back and try reading my reply again. Notice all the sensitive talk about "timing?" Hmmm? And why would you assume that I am "sure" about anything concerning a cat I don't know? What I do know is that I and many others have had cats that grieved for their lost buds, and I, and many others, have introduced new cats which seemed to help. I did it (as I said in my post, reading comprehension, man!) when my 20-year-old died, and my 16-year-old did just fine. They are best buds now. Remember, her cat is accustomed to having another cat around. Which is my reason for making the suggestion. I understand the thought behind it, and if she were much younger I would readily agree. Trust the OP to know what is right for her cat and what is or is not working out. Only she knows why she "has no interest" in offering a home to another cat, but the way it sounds like she loves her current and past cat, I would bet it is grief and not wanting to seem to try to "replace" the irreplaceable boy. However, there may be other reasons, and she may not be open to adopting another cat at all. My advice was offered because it worked for my older, grieving, lonely girl. All we know is our experiences. I take it you have been in the OP's position and had a new cat upset your older surviving cat so much you could not keep it, eh? |
#10
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Sure you do, but you don't want to do it. I understand. I "had no
interest" in adopting another cat when my cat died at age 20--until two months had passed. Maybe everyone has their own inner time table for this sort of thing. Maybe you will never want another cat, but I hope not. You know there are so many kittens and adults who need you, and while no cat can replace your sweet boy, one might come to be your heart's delight just the same. Your kitty is lonely for her lost companion. He will never be replaced for her either, but another cat who needs a home could at least distract her. When you are ready, if you ever are, please consider opening your broken heart to another kitty. It helped mine to heal. Don't want a kitten due to the hassle of training one? Get a young adult that has been socialized at a no-kill shelter, if they have one in your area. Sweetest, best behaved, most grateful cats ever. Not so fast. I can't say I agree with you at all. The cat is 17 years old, no spring chicken, so a kitten may be way to rambunctious for her. As far as an older one is concerned, you seem to come from it at the point of view of the new cat "socialized." What about the sensitivities of the resident cat. This is her home for many years and I am sure she has her territory all staked out. Are you sure she will accept a transgressor in her territory. Are you sure the adjustment period wouldn't be too streesful for her? I understand the thought behind it, and if she were much younger I would readily agree. |
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