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A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...



 
 
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  #1  
Old December 2nd 05, 10:28 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Default A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...

A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...
or The Holiday Adventures of Baby Sara

On the first day of Christmas,
my kitten ruined for me...
A batch of my special hand-print cookies. I had turned my back to grab
the cookie sheet sitting on the stove. In that micro-second, Sara
climbed onto the table, poked her paw into the delightfully kneady
mixture and, suddenly off- balance, fell into the cookie dough. Net
loss? Six cups of flour, four cups of sugar, three sticks of butter....
Of course, it would have been cheaper to remove the feline ingredient,
pick out the hairs, and just rename the recipe Paw Print Cookies.

On the second day of Christmas,
my kitten accompanied me...
On a trip to the vet clinic. Who knew that skinny curling ribbon has
feline taste appeal? I didn't. Damages: $28.00 for the office visit,
$36.00 for anesthesia so the veterinarian could take $55.00 X-rays in
case Sara had taste-tested any other Christmas decorations, and a heck
of a lot of embarrassment when the vet removed the 3' curly tail in
slightly less than two seconds by tugging at it with a pair of
tweezers.

On the third day of Christmas,
my kitten wrecked for me...
13 ornaments on my Christmas tree. My mistake was forgetting to chain
the decorations to the branches. My other error was leaving the room to
go to the bathroom while Sara feigned sleeping under the tree. How was
I to know she was actually measuring its climbing potential? Value of
broken bulbs? $7.50 plus tax.

On the fourth day of Christmas,
my kitten broke for me...
A statue in my Lenox Nativity. Would you believe two Wise men plus a
head? Lenox nativity figurines: $55.99.

On the fifth day of Christmas,
my kitten scratched for me...
The kid across the street who collects for charity. It was an accident.
She merely wanted to reach out and touch someone. Unfortunately, she
used a unsheathed claw to do so. I settled out-of-court for the cost of
a jacket to replace the boy's blood stained one and a hefty donation to
the charity of their choice. Although the amount must remain secret
according to our settlement, let me put it this way. You haven't seen
many soldiers for the Salvation Army this year, have you? Think: Major
Windfall!

On the sixth day of Christmas,
my kitten opened for me...
The presents beneath my Christmas tree. It was only two, really. While
doing some early shopping at a discount store, I purchased a catnip
mouse for Sara's stocking. Apparently, anything in the same bag as
catnip takes on its potent aroma for a very long time. Replacement
costs: $3.99 for another roll of Christmas wrapping paper, $4.50 for
two empty boxes, $1 each for the kind of bows Sara can't unravel.

On the seventh day of Christmas,
my kitten lost for me...
The earrings I bought for my sister, Mary. Actually, it was one earring
but since Mary doesn't have a hole in her nose or navel, a pair of
matching earrings does make a more appealing gift. Sale price: $29.95
plus tax.

On the eighth day of Christmas,
my kitten helped me...
Replace my E and G guitar strings. Would you believe a kitten could fit
into the itty-bitty hole in the center of my Yamaha guitar? Neither
could I, but Sara thought so. And she succeeded once she got those
rascally strings out of the way. Unfortunately, her little rear end
couldn't get out the way I came in. After paying through the whiskers
for her previous escapades, I would have been willing to leave her in
the guitar for the duration of the holiday season, except that she
chose to get stuck two hours before I was due at the nursing home for
our annual Christmas carol sing-a-long. Set of steel guitar strings:
$12.95; jar of petroleum jelly: 79¢.

On the ninth day of Christmas,
my kitten destroyed for me...
My Christmas card list when she walked across my computer's delete key.
Cost for call to Computer Country's 900/help line: $17.50. And I still
don't know what happened to the listings of B through H.

On the tenth day of Christmas,
my kitten hid from me...
The remote control from my 13-inch TV. This wouldn't be such a disaster
if she hadn't previously stolen the power knob. I missed a week's worth
of Christmas specials, including my all-time favorite, "It's a
Wonderful Life." Rental of "It's a Wonderful Life": $2.00; purchase of
book, "Good owners, great cats": $24.95. Unfortunately, it never
mentions the psychological profile of kittens with kleptomania.

On the eleventh day of Christmas,
my kitten ate for me...
The drumsticks off my 19-pound turkey. OK, OK, So this one time it was
my fault. I knew I never should have uttered those now infamous words:
"Your first turkey, Sara. Want to try just a little piece?" Cost:
Christmas Dinner.

On the twelfth day of Christmas...
Sara rested. And so, thank goodness, did my VISA card.
  #2  
Old December 2nd 05, 04:28 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Default A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, this is great!!

Jane
- owned and operated by Princess Rita, who so far doesn't like
people food (i.e. turkey!)

In article ,
Dave Gerecke wrote:
A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...
or The Holiday Adventures of Baby Sara

  #3  
Old December 2nd 05, 11:35 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Default A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...

On Fri, 02 Dec 2005 15:28:46 +0000, Jane wrote:


HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh, this is great!!

Jane
- owned and operated by Princess Rita, who so far doesn't like people food
(i.e. turkey!)

In article , Dave Gerecke
wrote:
A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief... or The Holiday Adventures
of Baby Sara



What a tale! Merry something or other. MLB
  #4  
Old December 3rd 05, 08:19 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Default A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...

On Fri, 02 Dec 2005 20:28:27 +1100, Dave Gerecke
wrote:

A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...
or The Holiday Adventures of Baby Sara

Boy, this is *really* making me look forward to letting *two* kittens
out of their space . . . . ;-)

Ginger-lyn
who's already sighing because Kate just broke a handmade wooden
pyramid . ..

Home Pages:
http://www.spiritrealm.com/summer/
http://www.angelfire.com/folk/glsummer (homepage & cats)
http://freepages.genealogy.rootsweb....mmer/index.htm (genealogy)
http://www.movieanimals.bravehost.com/ (The Violence Against
Animals in Movies Website)
  #5  
Old December 8th 05, 01:12 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
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Default A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...

Dave Gerecke @

A Kitten's Twelve Days of Christmas Mischief...
or The Holiday Adventures of Baby Sara


hee hee hahahahahahaha...
--
Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid; If the sharks don't get you,
the grizzlybears will. Now go to sleep.


 




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