If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#21
|
|||
|
|||
"Kreisleriana" wrote in message
... I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.) walks into a bar" jokes. A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?" The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one." Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas, amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love anything about that class!!!] Hugs, CatNipped Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com |
#22
|
|||
|
|||
In article , "CatNipped"
wrote: "Kreisleriana" wrote in message ... I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.) walks into a bar" jokes. A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?" The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one." Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas, amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love anything about that class!!!] I had the misfortune of taking (and flunking) a course in Latin that tried to be "relevant." A typical early lesson dealt with teenagers going on a "picus-nicus", where they drank "Cocam-Colam". |
#23
|
|||
|
|||
"Howard Berkowitz" wrote in message
... In article , "CatNipped" wrote: "Kreisleriana" wrote in message ... I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.) walks into a bar" jokes. A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?" The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one." Howling! [I took Latin in high school and still remember: amo, amas, amatis, amamus, amantis, amant - but at that point I did *NOT* love anything about that class!!!] I had the misfortune of taking (and flunking) a course in Latin that tried to be "relevant." A typical early lesson dealt with teenagers going on a "picus-nicus", where they drank "Cocam-Colam". OK, you owe me a keyboard for that one! ; Hugs, CatNipped |
#24
|
|||
|
|||
"Kreisleriana" wrote in message ... On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 02:44:16 GMT, "CatNipped" yodeled: "CatNipped" wrote in message ... "mlbriggs" wrote in message news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote: Christina Websell wrote: This was your *birthday present* ?? OMG. Please don't tell me what you had for Christmas!.. one or both of you is crazy ;-) Apparently it's the latest rage here in the US, they call them "colonics" or something like that. Apparently many celebrities are very fond of them... It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB And again in the 50's in Hollywood. I saw a show once that postulated that that's how Marilyn Monroe was "murdered". She would get her maid to give her one almost nightly and the show gave all kinds of "evidence" that the barbituates where given to her that way and not taken orally. Hugs, CatNipped Ohgawdhelpme, this reminded me of another corny joke... A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer." The bartender replies, "No, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." The bear growls loudly and says, "No way, I said give me a beer and you'd better give me a beer!". "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." Enraged the bear growls even louder and roars, "I SAID GIVE ME A BEER!" "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and ..." "I KNOW", the bear screams, "I can have a seat and some peanuts and a coke, but I don't *WANT" a seat and some peanuts and a coke, I want a beer and if you don't give me a beer I'm going to walk over there and eat that woman!" he says, pointing to a boozy blonde draped over the end of the bar. "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol..." "AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!," the bear yowled as he headed for the blonde, grabbed her in is arms, ripped her apart, and gobbled her down. "Now," the bear screamed, "are you going to offer me a seat and peanuts and a coke, or are you going to give me my beer?" "Neither," the bartender rejoined calmly, "now I'm going to ask you to leave. This establishment does not allow drug users on the premises." "What?" asked the puzzled bear, "What are you talking about, I'm not a drug user." "Well," replied the bartender, "that was a bar bitch you ate!" ducking and running Hugs, CatNipped I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.) walks into a bar" jokes. A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?" The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one." ROFL! Tweed Theresa Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com |
#25
|
|||
|
|||
"Kreisleriana" wrote in message ... On Sat, 05 Feb 2005 02:44:16 GMT, "CatNipped" yodeled: "CatNipped" wrote in message ... "mlbriggs" wrote in message news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote: Christina Websell wrote: This was your *birthday present* ?? OMG. Please don't tell me what you had for Christmas!.. one or both of you is crazy ;-) Apparently it's the latest rage here in the US, they call them "colonics" or something like that. Apparently many celebrities are very fond of them... It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB And again in the 50's in Hollywood. I saw a show once that postulated that that's how Marilyn Monroe was "murdered". She would get her maid to give her one almost nightly and the show gave all kinds of "evidence" that the barbituates where given to her that way and not taken orally. Hugs, CatNipped Ohgawdhelpme, this reminded me of another corny joke... A bear walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer." The bartender replies, "No, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." The bear growls loudly and says, "No way, I said give me a beer and you'd better give me a beer!". "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and have some peanuts and a coke." Enraged the bear growls even louder and roars, "I SAID GIVE ME A BEER!" "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol to animals here, but feel free to take a seat and ..." "I KNOW", the bear screams, "I can have a seat and some peanuts and a coke, but I don't *WANT" a seat and some peanuts and a coke, I want a beer and if you don't give me a beer I'm going to walk over there and eat that woman!" he says, pointing to a boozy blonde draped over the end of the bar. "Sorry," the bartender replies, "as I said, we don't serve alcohol..." "AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!," the bear yowled as he headed for the blonde, grabbed her in is arms, ripped her apart, and gobbled her down. "Now," the bear screamed, "are you going to offer me a seat and peanuts and a coke, or are you going to give me my beer?" "Neither," the bartender rejoined calmly, "now I'm going to ask you to leave. This establishment does not allow drug users on the premises." "What?" asked the puzzled bear, "What are you talking about, I'm not a drug user." "Well," replied the bartender, "that was a bar bitch you ate!" ducking and running Hugs, CatNipped I am helpless before "A guy (gal, dog, horse, bear, chicken etc.) walks into a bar" jokes. A Roman soldier walks into a bar, and says to the bartender, "Give me a Martinus. The bartender says "Don't you mean Martini?" The Roman soldier says, "No, I just want one." Theresa Hang on, I just thought about this more. Isn't "us" the plural? Might be wrong here. Tweed |
#26
|
|||
|
|||
"Helen C Simmons" wrote in message ... "mlbriggs" wrote in message news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote: It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB Have to say, having had both an enema and colonic irrigation - colonic irrigation is nothing like having an enema :-) Cheers, helen s I am interested to know what the difference is. As far as I know, both involve water up the...let's say back passage and what's in there coming out. Tweed |
#27
|
|||
|
|||
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
... Hang on, I just thought about this more. Isn't "us" the plural? Might be wrong here. Tweed Nope, it's plural, as in 'Veni, vidi, vixi' - 'we came, we saw, we conquered'. However, in conjugating verbs in latin it's 'amo, amas, amat, amamus, amantis, amant' - 'I love, you love, he/she/it loves, we love, you love, they love'. So that may have caused the confusion, the "amamus", or they love, plural. Hugs, CatNipped |
#28
|
|||
|
|||
"Christina Websell" wrote in message
... "Helen C Simmons" wrote in message ... "mlbriggs" wrote in message news On Fri, 04 Feb 2005 23:54:39 +0000, Victor Martinez wrote: It was also "the rage" in the 30s. which is when my "maiden Aunt" used to do it. Imagine going downtown to have someone give you an enema. MLB Have to say, having had both an enema and colonic irrigation - colonic irrigation is nothing like having an enema :-) Cheers, helen s I am interested to know what the difference is. As far as I know, both involve water up the...let's say back passage and what's in there coming out. Tweed Me too, I don't understand why a colonic would not be just as gross and uncomfortable (sometimes downright painful) than an enema! Hugs, CatNipped |
#29
|
|||
|
|||
|
#30
|
|||
|
|||
Helen Miles wrote:
"Helen C Simmons" wrote in message During the week I had my birthday present from Vernon :-) My birthday was in December, but my present occurred this week. I went to have my innards flushed. So if you are squeamish - do not read on ;-)/// No offence, but that is one sh*tty present!!! Helen m ROTFL! -- Adrian (Owned by Snoopy & Bagheera) A house is not a home, without a cat. |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads | ||||
Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Celebration! Birthday! | Hans Schrøder | Cat anecdotes | 40 | November 26th 04 04:24 AM |
Happy 1/2 Birthday to Weeble! | Magic Mood Jeep© | Cat anecdotes | 31 | February 22nd 04 03:13 AM |
Sneak preview: the birthday pictures | Marina | Cat anecdotes | 25 | November 28th 03 12:44 AM |
Wilson's Birthday | Jean H | Cat anecdotes | 10 | October 10th 03 04:09 AM |