PING: Tak

Takayuki wrote:

Objectively, I suspect that I would be a poor candidate for any kind
of therapy, because in my mind, the problems are categorized as
"cancer", and "lethal injection", and not as "PTSD" or "grieving".

But maybe that's why you could benefit from therapy? Maybe it could
help you be more compassionate toward yourself about this. To be able
to see it as being about loss and grief, and not about betrayal and
self-blame.

Joyce

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
Karen wrote:
It sounds to me like Betty is working very hard on her own at getting
you to realize she is OK. I've never heard of so many "I'm OK, paw.
Really." signals. But I guess she'll have to try harder.

It's true that Betty is at peace. But if that alone could exonerate
someone, then killing would not be a crime.


Perhaps. I don't think of people who have been killed "being at peace".
There is an openendedness about that for everyone it seems. If that were so,
everyone who ever had someone die would be killers because they could not
stop the dying.

"Takayuki" wrote in message
...
"Christina Websell" wrote:
Sometimes it does take a long time for such love to eventually be
comforted
from constant feelings of loss to happy memories.

I don't think (just my opinion) that Tak should pray to forget Betty for
the
time being, it will not help as he has not finished the grieving process.
It is still very early days.

Is this what grieving is like? There was some of what I felt was
grieving, but I thought that grieving came more from within, and was
the sadness of losing someone.

I guess I don't know. But a lot of what affected me seemed to be more
like divine punishment. In emotional terms, maybe a little regret,
and remorse too. Plus, a cycle of disbelief, then realization, then
disbelief again. There were swirls of other cycles and feelings too.
I imagine it's different for everyone.


Grieving is not just the sadness of loss. It is "why couldn't I have done
more?" "was there something I could have done and didn't?" It is all these
things that you describe. Guilt. Despair. Disbelief, anger.
You are going through the process of grieving Tak. Just let it happen at
its own pace. It takes as long as it takes.

[[hugs]]
Tweed