PING: Tak

I thought you might be interested in this post:

http://www.felinediabetes.com/phorum...126#msg-463126

Karen wrote:
I thought you might be interested in this post:

http://www.felinediabetes.com/phorum...126#msg-463126

Use self-hypnosis to clear out bad thoughts? That sounds like a good
technique, except I don't know how to do it. But I have had many
thoughts and images of Betty.

Last night, I dreamed that I was with Betty. It wasn't before her
cancer, or afterwards, but was out of time. She came to me, standing
up with her paws on my knees, stretching her arms up at me, begging to
be held. I picked her up and gave her a big hug. She felt so big and
soft and substantial! Not like the wisp of a cat she was near the
end.

At that moment, I woke up, but I still felt her against my chest! As
I came to, I realized that I had gathered up a bunch of the comforter,
and was holding it tight. I don't normally act out my dreams like
that.

But really, the dominant image is Betty lying dead on the table. A
sad little expression of defeat, floating into my consciousness like
an accusation. But it's all right - I think that there must be
something significant to that last image, and that must be why it's
the one that always comes to mind.

I've tried life without Betty for what seems like an eternity now. I
think I've given it a fair chance, and if I were a critic, I would be
giving it a thumbs down and leaving the theater.

Right after Betty died, I had several dreams about her. In one, I
looked up into the sky, and there were clouds, but wait, the clouds
were singing! I looked more carefully, and the clouds were made out
of countless kitties, as innumerable as grains of sand on a beach, and
they were all holding paws, singing and celebrating! And out of all
those countless cats, I could miraculously see Betty, and she saw me,
and waved at me. She called to me and told me that I would find her
if I looked for her. But I don't know if I have.

On 2006-09-23 23:28:47 -0500, Takayuki said:

Karen wrote:
I thought you might be interested in this post:

http://www.felinediabetes.com/phorum...126#msg-463126

Use self-hypnosis to clear out bad thoughts? That sounds like a good
technique, except I don't know how to do it. But I have had many
thoughts and images of Betty.

Last night, I dreamed that I was with Betty. It wasn't before her
cancer, or afterwards, but was out of time. She came to me, standing
up with her paws on my knees, stretching her arms up at me, begging to
be held. I picked her up and gave her a big hug. She felt so big and
soft and substantial! Not like the wisp of a cat she was near the
end.

At that moment, I woke up, but I still felt her against my chest! As
I came to, I realized that I had gathered up a bunch of the comforter,
and was holding it tight. I don't normally act out my dreams like
that.

But really, the dominant image is Betty lying dead on the table. A
sad little expression of defeat, floating into my consciousness like
an accusation. But it's all right - I think that there must be
something significant to that last image, and that must be why it's
the one that always comes to mind.

I've tried life without Betty for what seems like an eternity now. I
think I've given it a fair chance, and if I were a critic, I would be
giving it a thumbs down and leaving the theater.

Right after Betty died, I had several dreams about her. In one, I
looked up into the sky, and there were clouds, but wait, the clouds
were singing! I looked more carefully, and the clouds were made out
of countless kitties, as innumerable as grains of sand on a beach, and
they were all holding paws, singing and celebrating! And out of all
those countless cats, I could miraculously see Betty, and she saw me,
and waved at me. She called to me and told me that I would find her
if I looked for her. But I don't know if I have.

It sounds to me like Betty is working very hard on her own at getting
you to realize she is OK. I've never heard of so many "I'm OK, paw.
Really." signals. But I guess she'll have to try harder.

Tak, I don't know if you are religious or not but here is a thought. I
believe that prayer is a form of self hypnosis. In this prayer you
should only ask to have your own thoughts modified. If you just ask
YOUR God to help you forget (YES FORGET FOR THE TIME BEING) Betty it
will help you to heal. After you can detach emotionally from her loss
then you can think pleasant thoughts abut her again. These prayers
should be repeated whenever you start to regress.


---MIKE---
In the White Mountains of New Hampshire
(44° 15' N - Elevation 1580')

"---MIKE---" wrote in message
...
Tak, I don't know if you are religious or not but here is a thought. I
believe that prayer is a form of self hypnosis. In this prayer you
should only ask to have your own thoughts modified. If you just ask
YOUR God to help you forget (YES FORGET FOR THE TIME BEING) Betty it
will help you to heal. After you can detach emotionally from her loss
then you can think pleasant thoughts abut her again. These prayers
should be repeated whenever you start to regress.



Sometimes there is such a special animal in your life - I have had two such
special ones amongst my many although I have loved them all, that it is
impossible for grief to stop for a long time.
It was two years before I didn't wake up weeping every morning for each of
them (many years apart) when I freshly realised they were gone. They were
also the last thing I thought about when I went to bed at night. "P is gone
or M is gone.." At the time for each.

Sometimes it does take a long time for such love to eventually be comforted
from constant feelings of loss to happy memories.

I don't think (just my opinion) that Tak should pray to forget Betty for the
time being, it will not help as he has not finished the grieving process.
It is still very early days.
I found it helpful to grieve as much as possible by tormenting myself with
the death scene scenario until I realised that maybe I should stop that for
my own mental health and understand that if there is nothing more to be
done, that is it and the vet & I made a wise decision. It is one thing that
we can do for our pets, prevent them from further suffering when there is no
hope.
Humans have to tolerate it until the last..

Tweed

Takayuki wrote:
Last night, I dreamed that I was with Betty. It wasn't before her
cancer, or afterwards, but was out of time. She came to me, standing
up with her paws on my knees, stretching her arms up at me, begging to
be held. I picked her up and gave her a big hug. She felt so big and
soft and substantial! Not like the wisp of a cat she was near the
end.

At that moment, I woke up, but I still felt her against my chest! As
I came to, I realized that I had gathered up a bunch of the comforter,
and was holding it tight. I don't normally act out my dreams like
that.

But really, the dominant image is Betty lying dead on the table. A
sad little expression of defeat, floating into my consciousness like
an accusation. But it's all right - I think that there must be
something significant to that last image, and that must be why it's
the one that always comes to mind.

Hi Tak, Tension he

I would never presume to make a diagnosis over a public newsgroup,
but perhaps it might help you to know that Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder (PTSD) does include a category of patients
who are grieving or have lost a loved one of any type.

The reason I mention this is that vivid imaging and re-imaging,
both during sleep in dreams and during the day in "waking" visions
are one of the primary symptoms of this disorder. They are
persistent, difficult to banish and very visual. It can co-exist with
clinical depression, or it can stand alone. If there is any
possibility that you might be experiencing one thing or
the other, you should schedule an appointment and
discuss the idea frankly with your doctor.

In evaluating for either possibility, even if it turns out you
do not have PTSD or clinical depression, talking it over with
your physician, or even better, a clinical therapist almost
always makes things a little easier to bear. Sounding boards
are good, as in the case of this wonderful group here,
but a therapist can make very specific suggestions to you
as regards techniques to banish these debilitating images.
If they are affecting your ability to get through life, then this
would be an urgent measure to get you back
and functioning again.

I hope I am not presuming here, but am just making a point of
letting you know just in case it *is* that bad, on account of
your thoughts of "leaving the theater". Please forgive me
if I am making assumptions, but I do believe it is better to be safe
than polite.

--tension

Karen wrote:
It sounds to me like Betty is working very hard on her own at getting
you to realize she is OK. I've never heard of so many "I'm OK, paw.
Really." signals. But I guess she'll have to try harder.

It's true that Betty is at peace. But if that alone could exonerate
someone, then killing would not be a crime.

(---MIKE---) wrote:
Tak, I don't know if you are religious or not but here is a thought. I
believe that prayer is a form of self hypnosis. In this prayer you
should only ask to have your own thoughts modified. If you just ask
YOUR God to help you forget (YES FORGET FOR THE TIME BEING) Betty it
will help you to heal. After you can detach emotionally from her loss
then you can think pleasant thoughts abut her again. These prayers
should be repeated whenever you start to regress.

Actually, that does make sense. I remember reading that that was the
premise of some movie. Well, not the prayer part, but the forgetting.

"Christina Websell" wrote:
Sometimes it does take a long time for such love to eventually be comforted
from constant feelings of loss to happy memories.

I don't think (just my opinion) that Tak should pray to forget Betty for the
time being, it will not help as he has not finished the grieving process.
It is still very early days.

Is this what grieving is like? There was some of what I felt was
grieving, but I thought that grieving came more from within, and was
the sadness of losing someone.

I guess I don't know. But a lot of what affected me seemed to be more
like divine punishment. In emotional terms, maybe a little regret,
and remorse too. Plus, a cycle of disbelief, then realization, then
disbelief again. There were swirls of other cycles and feelings too.
I imagine it's different for everyone.

"tension_on_the_wire" wrote:
Hi Tak, Tension he

I would never presume to make a diagnosis over a public newsgroup,
but perhaps it might help you to know that Post Traumatic
Stress Disorder (PTSD) does include a category of patients
who are grieving or have lost a loved one of any type.

Thanks Tension. It's very interesting information, and something to
think about. I didn't know that PTSD could be associated with grief.

Objectively, I suspect that I would be a poor candidate for any kind
of therapy, because in my mind, the problems are categorized as
"cancer", and "lethal injection", and not as "PTSD" or "grieving".