If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below. |
|
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
#111
|
|||
|
|||
"Mogget" wrote in message
... Because what you get out of it is so good. Now that I'm recovered from the worst, I can look back and say that even if I had known what was going to happen to me, I would still have chosen to have a baby, because my little frog is unquestionably worth it. -- Mogget Oh, don't get me wrong, I think having children was the best thing I've ever done for the world, much less myself. I would do it again in a heartbeat, and I think it was worth all the hard work and heartache. My children, and grandchildren, are remarkably lovely, good, and kind people who have taken the love I've given them and spread it throughout their world a thousand-fold. What I was expressing was, like everything else, TV and movies make motherhood seem like fun and games and sweetness and light, with *NO* problems that can't be solved in a half-hour episode. And all those relatives and friends who are pushing you into having children when you might not be ready probably won't be there to help you when real life kicks in. If you're thinking about having children, but are not sure you want to, you should know what you're getting into by hearing about the bad times (and no matter how lucky you are or how angelic your children might be, there *WILL* be bad times) as well as hearing about all the rewarding things you'll experience. So, like Erma Bombeck, I tend to tell it like it is - not glossing over the times you want to commit retroactive abortion! However glad I am now that I managed to refrain from doing so, that didn't make it any less painful to deal with at the time. And if you're not *COMPLETELY* committed to parenthood, those bad times could lead you to make some terrible mistakes. If you are completely committed to parenthood, those bad times are just things that make your bond with your children stronger. Being a parent is *THE* most important job on earth. It should only be taken on by those who go into it with eyes wide open and a heart that's willing to be broken a thousand times before your children are grown. It's the most thankless job (children *aren't* going to be thanking you for teaching them how to be civilized) as well as the most rewarding. If you aren't one hundred percent sure you want children, then the wisest, kindest thing you can do is to refrain from having children until you are completely sure you want to live your entire life putting someone else's needs ahead of your own every single minute of every single day. It's not selfish to not have children if you're not ready, it's selfish to have children because you've been pressured into it and gave into that pressure just to get people off your back about it. It's selfish to enter parenthood when you're not completely committed to it, because then you're not going to give your children the very best of what you are - and anything less is totally unacceptable. Hugs, CatNipped |
#112
|
|||
|
|||
"JBHajos" wrote in message
... On 31 Dec 2004 15:11:48 GMT, itty (Sherry ) wrote: Sherry --- hopes everyone with a crummy childhood has a sister. Parent-bashing just isn't the same with anybody else. I have no sister but do have a brother and we do the same every time we get together. We live far apart but do manage to see each other at least once a year or two. Funny, the bulk of our conversations revolves around "mommie dearest" and our childhood under her rule. Even as adults, we put up with her %#^#%$@$ control. Though she died about six years ago and can no longer hurt us, we can't seem to let go of the pain. Or perhaps talking about it mitigates it somewhat. Anyway, my brother is fine, perfectly normal; wish I could say the same for *me*!!! Jeanne Oh Jeanne, you don't want to be "normal" - "normal" is so freaking boring! You're perfect just as you are! Hugs, CatNipped |
#113
|
|||
|
|||
This thread has got me thinking. It is wrong to generalise about a single family, yet some people still tend to generalise about an entire country. I for one am very glad that you find wonderfull people in every country on earth, and the really nasty people are a small miority. Indeed. One of the consistant comments I hear from news reports where survivors are interviewed when they arrive back over here is how, in the aftermath of the tsunami, when the local people in the countries hit, who had lost *everything* they still showed supreme kindness and concern for strangers to their country, making sure they were okay and getting them the help they needed before they took care of their own needs. That has repeatedly struck me as how we are all human and we really should care about those on the other side of the world, less fortunate than we are. Cheers, helen s --This is an invalid email address to avoid spam-- to get correct one remove fame & fortune **$om $ --Due to financial crisis the light at the end of the tunnel is switched off-- |
#114
|
|||
|
|||
"Sherry " wrote in message ... Yup, your mom's a psycho. Isn't it amazing that so many of us are normal considering all the psychological damage from our parents? Shows how resilient the hoomin condition can be. Pam S. shuddering in sympathy for Flippy That's basically what my sister and I say with amazement sometimes. "It's a wonder we turned out as normal as we are." Sherry --- hopes everyone with a crummy childhood has a sister. Parent-bashing just isn't the same with anybody else. Unfortuately, my sister is the psycho! |
#115
|
|||
|
|||
JBHajos wrote:
Though she died about six years ago and can no longer hurt us, we can't seem to let go of the pain. Or perhaps talking about it mitigates it somewhat. Anyway, my brother is fine, perfectly normal; wish I could say the same for *me*!!! Jeanne Jeanne, if you were normal, you wouldn't be in here, and you'd miss so much. Not only that, but we'd miss you too. Pam S. who claims the cats are pet therapy specialists |
#116
|
|||
|
|||
Or a little old man! I remember when I was about ten, my mother took me
to see a neighbor's newborn baby boy. They had them at home in those days. This was the woman's sixth kid and she gushed that it was the "prettiest" baby she had ever had. Looking at it offended my sensibilities -- I thought it was the ugliest little old man I had ever seen. MLB I remember thinking my daughter was the most beautiful baby ever born. Now I look at pictures and just laugh. She had this gawdawful mop of black hair that stuck straight up. Sherry |
#117
|
|||
|
|||
If you are completely committed to parenthood, those bad times are just
things that make your bond with your children stronger. This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our daughter had to do with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She didn't speak to us for a month. But ten years later, we heard the most five most awesome words a parent can hear. "Mom, Dad, you were right." Sherry |
#118
|
|||
|
|||
On 2005-01-07, Sherry penned:
This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our daughter had to do with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She didn't speak to us for a month. But ten years later, we heard the most five most awesome words a parent can hear. "Mom, Dad, you were right." This can backfire. My eight year relationship with a loser boyfriend probably would have been much shorter if my parents hadn't constantly been badgering me to get rid of him. They meant well, but the more they shared their opinions, the more I felt myself to be in an "us against the world" situation. -- monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* |
#119
|
|||
|
|||
"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message ... On 2005-01-07, Sherry penned: This is absolutely true. The worst of the bad times with our daughter had to do with separating her from a loser boyfriend at age 16. She didn't speak to us for a month. But ten years later, we heard the most five most awesome words a parent can hear. "Mom, Dad, you were right." This can backfire. My eight year relationship with a loser boyfriend probably would have been much shorter if my parents hadn't constantly been badgering me to get rid of him. They meant well, but the more they shared their opinions, the more I felt myself to be in an "us against the world" situation. Exactly! My parents hated my first serious boyfriend. He wasn't bad but just unmotivated. They thought I was too good for him. Instead of getting rid of him, I moved in with him. A relationship that would have normally lasted about 6 months dragged on for 2.5 years because I had to "show them". I totally admit it was childish, but the way they went on about him was childish too. -- Britta Sandpaper kisses, a cuddle and a purr. I have an alarm clock that's covered in fur! Check out pictures of Vino at: http://photos.yahoo.com/badwilson click on the Vino album |
#120
|
|||
|
|||
On 2005-01-12, badwilson penned:
Exactly! My parents hated my first serious boyfriend. He wasn't bad but just unmotivated. They thought I was too good for him. Instead of getting rid of him, I moved in with him. A relationship that would have normally lasted about 6 months dragged on for 2.5 years because I had to "show them". I totally admit it was childish, but the way they went on about him was childish too. I don't think I intentionally was trying to prove my parents wrong; it's just that when you love someone, you see an attack on them as an attack on yourself. I did love this guy, foolish as it was, and no one likes hearing negative stuff about their loved ones. -- monique, roommate of Oscar the (female) grouch ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Eros was adopted! Eros has a home now! *cheer!* |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|