for a friend: Drooling cat

I know for me, it was the tone of the post: "What do you think the cat's
supposed to do about it...? Tell you?" "Go to a vet. You probably haven't
thought one iota...." Not so much the message, but the medium. There are
more tactful ways of suggesting things to people, without just making
assumptions and being sarcastic and pushy.

That was my take as well. The poster had the capacity to make a
useful reply, but by embedding it in such hostile and insulting
language he pretty well guaranteed that it would be offensive to
the person asking the question.

There was no need for that person to be insulting in his reply.
Such behavior seems to be common in other newsgroups, but I'm glad
to say it's very rare here.

Dan


--
Posted via Mailgate.ORG Server - http://www.Mailgate.ORG

"Tanada" wrote in message
...
bewtifulfreak wrote:

EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) wrote:

I'm curious, Pam - what did you find so objectionable about Ben's
post? Many cat-owners/slaves, particularly of my generation, most
likely have NOT thought about "dental hygiene" as applied to cats -
unless a vet suggested it, it never occurred to us that such a thing
was needed.

I know for me, it was the tone of the post: "What do you think the cat's
supposed to do about it...? Tell you?" "Go to a vet. You probably
haven't
thought one iota...." Not so much the message, but the medium. There
are
more tactful ways of suggesting things to people, without just making
assumptions and being sarcastic and pushy.


What Ann said. It was his superior than her attitude. Sometimes
rudeness has to be addressed and not just ignored. I felt that the
wording and tone of his message was quite rude.

Pam S.

That particular poster's always like that.

Cathy

--
"Staccato signals of constant information..."
("The Boy in the Bubble") Paul Simon

Tanada wrote in message ...
IBen Getiner wrote:


Sounds like a toothache. What do you think the cat's supposed to do
about it...? Tell you?
My folks have a Persian that also drooled a lot. Turned out, one of
it's incisors was abscessed. Go to a vet. You probably haven't thought
one iota about your cat's oral hygiene anyway. Now's a good time to
start.

Ben, we play nice in here.

So do I. Until crossed.

If you need the FAQ for this group, go to
http://www.angelfire.com/mt/yowie/catfaq.htm for information on how we
work in RPCA.

Thank you. But this site is full of pop-ups. Almost every attempt to
decipher it's meaning was lost in a minefield of ADDS.

This is basically an anecdotes group. Any help we give
those who have medical problems is purely friendly and generally
consists of please take your cat to TED.

I see that you probably picked this message up from health and
behavior.

Sorry. I don't choose which group my advice gets posted to. The poster
that I am responding to does. I hover and post in H&B. If you don't
like my postings, what can I say...? Don't read them!


Your treatment of the person may be perfectly normal in
there,

Treatment..?? I am who I am. I treat people no differently here than I
do in any other group. I cannot help it if your group has more than
its share of emmotional cripples. Why would you let them dictate your
policies, unless you are one yourself?

but we tend to give the messenger the benefit of the doubt in
RPCA.

Yes. So do I. But there's got to be a doubt in the first place. I saw
no room for that doubt in the inital poster's travail.

The servant of the cat in question has already made a vet
appointment

If they made any appointments, they didn't say so in their initial
posting. This is what I was responding to. If they posted later and
said they had a vet appointment, then they must taken the same advice
I offered, but from another poster. My apologies.

and doesn't need to be treated like a spoiled child without
the common sense to do what she can for the animal.

Is this the way you took it? This answers my previous question. Now I
understand better. eyes shifted down, head slightly lowered I'm
sorry I got you so worked up. I'll try to consider precarious
footholds and such if I am ever so unlucky as to accidentally post in
your group again. Let me know if I do.

But on a more serious note .... don't you think that some kinf of
common sense test *should* be mandintory for people before they are
allowed to own a pet?


Pam S.


Oh... one more thing. You may want to reconsider your stance on
sexually mutilating (aka, neutering and spaying) your cats. The way I
see it..

"Cats come with genitalia. If you don't like the idea of a cat
spraying or crying while in heat, don't get a cat."

Bob M wrote in message ...
Tanada wrote:

IBen Getiner wrote:


Sounds like a toothache. What do you think the cat's supposed to do
about it...? Tell you?
My folks have a Persian that also drooled a lot. Turned out, one of
it's incisors was abscessed. Go to a vet. You probably haven't thought
one iota about your cat's oral hygiene anyway. Now's a good time to
start.

Ben, we play nice in here. If you need the FAQ for this group, go to
http://www.angelfire.com/mt/yowie/catfaq.htm for information on how we
work in RPCA. This is basically an anecdotes group. Any help we give
those who have medical problems is purely friendly and generally
consists of please take your cat to TED.

I see that you probably picked this message up from health and
behavior. Your treatment of the person may be perfectly normal in
there, but we tend to give the messenger the benefit of the doubt in
RPCA. The servant of the cat in question has already made a vet
appointment and doesn't need to be treated like a spoiled child without
the common sense to do what she can for the animal.

Pam S.

Well put Pam. I was going to respond to his message but you did a
wonderful job! I came to this newsgroup years ago from another one where
almost all the participants argued with each other and called each other
names. Although I don't post everyday, I do read this group everyday and
enjoy it. So again thanks for responding.

Bob

Then the message I posted at Pammy today is for you too, Bob.

Tanada wrote in message ...


It was his superior than her attitude. Sometimes
rudeness has to be addressed and not just ignored. I felt that the
wording and tone of his message was quite rude.

Pam S.



Exibit 'A'

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

I'm curious, Pam - what did you find so objectionable about Ben's post?
Many cat-owners/slaves, particularly of my generation, most likely have
NOT thought about "dental hygiene" as applied to cats - unless a vet
suggested it, it never occurred to us that such a thing was needed.

I'm not Pam, but I can say with confidence that Pam would not object to
someone suggesting that the cat might require attention to its dental
hygiene, if they did so without sarcasm or an implication that the person
is willfully neglectful, stupid, lacking in common sense, etc., but rather
brought the issue up in a friendly way.

Unfortunately, some humans have no clue whatsoever about how to interact
with others of their species, and then they act all surprised when their
obnoxious comments offend people, and draw the conclusion that people
must prefer to be ignorant since they're rejecting important information.
When in fact, they're just rejecting the jerk himself.

Joyce

wrote:

"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote:

I'm curious, Pam - what did you find so objectionable about Ben's post?
Many cat-owners/slaves, particularly of my generation, most likely have
NOT thought about "dental hygiene" as applied to cats - unless a vet
suggested it, it never occurred to us that such a thing was needed.

I'm not Pam, but I can say with confidence that Pam would not object to
someone suggesting that the cat might require attention to its dental
hygiene, if they did so without sarcasm or an implication that the person
is willfully neglectful, stupid, lacking in common sense, etc., but rather
brought the issue up in a friendly way.

You idiot, It was Pam who initially objected to your unfeeling comment
(which I defended under the misguided impression you intended it as
humour.) Obviously she was correct, you ARE an insensitive jerk. Now
get lost! (P-L-O-N-K)

IBen Getiner wrote:


Snipped Troll Talk



I was going to reply to this guy and decided that he wasn't worth the
effort.

He'll probably take it as a sign that I'm another stupid person. Ah
well, at least we'll get recipes out of this one.

Pam S.

I was reading a news group the other day and I too got fed up reading the
squables
I dont have a lot of time to answer but I do when I can but that day I
wanted to post
that they sounded like a lot of rude children fighting about unimpotant
things instead
of getting on with the buisness of trying to help each other or at least
offering their
sympathy, but I thought I might be bringing myself down to their level,
actually I have
found this to be the nicest group too, cheers to everyone. Purrs to all jp
"Steve Touchstone" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 29 Aug 2003 16:32:01 GMT, Tanada wrote:

IBen Getiner wrote:


Sounds like a toothache. What do you think the cat's supposed to do
about it...? Tell you?
My folks have a Persian that also drooled a lot. Turned out, one of
it's incisors was abscessed. Go to a vet. You probably haven't thought
one iota about your cat's oral hygiene anyway. Now's a good time to
start.

Ben, we play nice in here. If you need the FAQ for this group, go to
http://www.angelfire.com/mt/yowie/catfaq.htm for information on how we
work in RPCA. This is basically an anecdotes group. Any help we give
those who have medical problems is purely friendly and generally
consists of please take your cat to TED.

I see that you probably picked this message up from health and
behavior. Your treatment of the person may be perfectly normal in
there, but we tend to give the messenger the benefit of the doubt in
RPCA. The servant of the cat in question has already made a vet
appointment and doesn't need to be treated like a spoiled child without
the common sense to do what she can for the animal.

Pam S.

Very well put, Pam. I've stopped reading some other newsgroups when I
got fed up with the constantly bickering - not just other cat ngs,
although some were.

Seanette Blaylock wrote in message . ..
(IBen Getiner) had some very interesting things to
say about for a friend: Drooling cat:

Sorry. I don't choose which group my advice gets posted to.

Oh yes you do. That is, unless you're too ignorant to know how to edit
that line in your posts,


I NEVER edit headers. The way I see it, if the guy I responded to had
them up there, he did it for a reason. Who am I to change it?


or you're using such a sorry excuse for a
news reader that it *forces* you to be totally rude.

This is your opinion. I am who I am. Take it or leave it. I have
never, nor will I ever change for other people, least of all you
people. If you don't dig me, then.... don't respond...