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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an
apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? |
#2
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
"223rem" wrote in message oups.com... I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? Well, since you asked for opinions, I will give you mine. Yes, I think you were wrong. I would *never* give up my cats. They are family, just like children -- and very few people would give up children. Cats are not disposable objects! Moreover, I have been through a number of "moving days" when I had to find an apartment that would accept cats. I had to give up on many apartments that I really would have liked simply because of adamant "no pets" policies. I no longer have to worry about that because I own my home, but *my* policy during the days when I was renting was "accept my cats, or I look elsewhere." Incidentally, cats adjust *very* well to apartment living. All you need to do is provide lots of toys, attention, scratching posts, and a climbing surface (such as a cat tree). Barn cats usually do not receive the type of attention that you have probably been giving your cats. They also usually have a shorter lifespan than indoor cats -- less nutrition, vulnerable to predators, traffic (even in a rural area), etc. Your landlord may have good intentions, but do you really think he will monitor their health, take them to a vet on a regular basis, provide good quality food (and not take the attitude that they can "catch their own food"), groom them, give them attention, and all the other little things that you have probably done without even thinking about it. So, my opinion is that you should try to retrieve these kitties, take them with you, and provide the type of indoor space that will give them a healthy and happy environment without needing to go outdoors. Personally, I think it will also make *you* happier since you said you are heartbroken over this decision. MaryL |
#3
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
"223rem" wrote:
Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? 223rem, I can't tell you whether you will regret your decision or not, because those are *your* feelings. But I think your decision was made with your cats' best interests at heart. They love to go outdoors and play in trees, grass, dirt. They would never get that in the city. If you were to let them outside in that environment, they could easily get hurt or killed. So you'd have to keep them confined, and I agree with you that that would be terrible for them after what they've been used to. Cats are not humans. That doesn't mean that their lives matter less than human lives, but it does mean that they have *different needs*. Different species, different needs: what a concept! Cats, unlike human children, are not traumatized for life by a change of human caretaker (as long as the new caretaker is also loving and responsible). It's an adjustment, sure. But they will adjust. Pretty much every cat I've ever had came from someplace else, and they've all adjusted happily to me. Pets are family, and should be treated as family. But that doesn't mean that everyone in your family is treated exactly the same. Different choices are appropriate for different individuals and different situations. You are doing the responsible thing by making sure that your cats are going into a good person's hands, someone who will take good care of them. Sometimes that is the best thing you can do under the circumstances. The "pet adoption is FOREVER" concept is a valid response to the fact that so many people think that animals can just be abandoned anywhere at any time, with no thought about the animal's needs or its future, due to callousness or ignorance or just plain stupidity. And I do think a lifetime commitment should be the *intention* when adopting a pet. One shouldn't go into it with the attitude of, "I'll take this pet now, and if I get sick of it, I can always give it away." If that's a person's attitude, then they're not ready for a pet. But - stuff happens. Things you weren't expecting can put your ability to care for your pets on shaky ground. Sometimes the best thing you can do is to find a more stable home for your pets. For god's sake, some people are forced to give up their *children* because of unforseen circumstances, and that has more far-reaching consequences than giving your pet to a new, loving caretaker. And if you change your mind and decide you can't part with them after all, then I support you in that, too. It's a very tough choice, and I don't envy you. Purrs, Joyce |
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
"223rem" wrote: Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? And I'm reminded why I blocked you in the first place. Just trying to upset everyone. |
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
"223rem" wrote |I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an | apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they | want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love | to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined | in an apartment. | | To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into | them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on | his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a | honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. | | Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? | What would you have done in my place? I brought 7 cats from a very isolated farm where they were always free to roam (and worry me half to death in spite of no traffic) to a house in town. It's a small town, but it still has traffic, so they've been kept indoors (almost 18 months now) ever since. I was really afraid they would not adapt to being housecats, but it's not been that bad - except on my budget, since now I have to provide all of their food and they can't use the great outdoors for a litterbox, and cat litter is expensive. Before I moved I considered giving one of them to the woman who was moving in behind me, but she didn't want another cat. I also would have given him to the owner of the farm, but she didn't want another cat either. This cat was my biggest worry about having to stay indoors because he likes to chase and fight with some of the younger ones. But thanks to Feliway (which I used for the first six months or so in the house), everyone has learned to get along pretty well. The one troublesome cat is also the one who seems to miss being outside the most, but he loves his meowmie and seems to understand. He gets tons more attention from me now than he did on the farm. They all do, really, because now they're around me constantly. I'm trying to finish putting up a fence around the back yard with a charged wire on the top to keep them from going over it. Then they will at least get to be outside. It won't be like it was on the farm, but will be better than having to stay in 100% of the time. I would not have moved to an apartment even if I could have found one that would accept so many cats, because I can't stand apartments, and buying a house around here is cheaper than renting an apartment, and I've simply got to have a garden, and the cats have to be able to go outside eventually, if only in a small area. Bottom line, the cats are my family, and I won't part with any of them unless I am desperate (which I really am, money-wise) and absolutely certain that they would have as good or better care and love from their new slave as they get from me. Also, I would not let go of one that would be greatly missed by any of the others. For instance, if I had to thin out the clowder, I wouldn't give away Abelard or Beatrice because they are best friends, like Baby Eyes and Tommy are. I could let Billy and Lily go together, because neither of them are attached to any of the others, and they are littermates. I would miss them terribly, but if I knew where they were and that they were happy and their new slave was devoted to them, I could do it, but only because I'm so strapped for money. If I was in your position I would question the prospective new slave very closely. I don't know how many cats are involved or what the barn situation is like, or how strongly attached to you the cats are. Chances are if you let them go, and it's a good situation, they'll adapt to it quicker than you'll adapt to being without them. I wish the best for all concerned. |
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
MaryL wrote:
"223rem" wrote in message oups.com... I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? Well, since you asked for opinions, I will give you mine. Yes, I think you were wrong. I would *never* give up my cats. They are family, just like children -- and very few people would give up children. Cats are not disposable objects! Moreover, I have been through a number of "moving days" when I had to find an apartment that would accept cats. I had to give up on many apartments that I really would have liked simply because of adamant "no pets" policies. I no longer have to worry about that because I own my home, but *my* policy during the days when I was renting was "accept my cats, or I look elsewhere." Incidentally, cats adjust *very* well to apartment living. All you need to do is provide lots of toys, attention, scratching posts, and a climbing surface (such as a cat tree). Barn cats usually do not receive the type of attention that you have probably been giving your cats. They also usually have a shorter lifespan than indoor cats -- less nutrition, vulnerable to predators, traffic (even in a rural area), etc. Your landlord may have good intentions, but do you really think he will monitor their health, take them to a vet on a regular basis, provide good quality food (and not take the attitude that they can "catch their own food"), groom them, give them attention, and all the other little things that you have probably done without even thinking about it. So, my opinion is that you should try to retrieve these kitties, take them with you, and provide the type of indoor space that will give them a healthy and happy environment without needing to go outdoors. Personally, I think it will also make *you* happier since you said you are heartbroken over this decision. MaryL I agree with you, Mary. Jill |
#7
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
On Jun 1, 7:39 pm, 223rem wrote:
I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? Well, since you asked, no, I would not have done what you did. I would have first given the cats a chance to adjust to the new apartment, and if they didn't (most of them do)....then I'd have looked at homing them to another indoor- outdoor place. I have to tell you, Mother Nature is hard on barn cats. Also, I hope that you clarified the definition of "giving them a good home as a barn cat." Some people are under the impression that barn cats are completely self-reliant, and that's just not true. They still ahve to be fed daily, and have fresh water daily. They still get sick and have to be vetted. I don't mean to sound critical, but it just makes me sad that you couldn't find a way to keep them. I do hope they make out okay. Sherry |
#8
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
"223rem" wrote in message oups.com... I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? I would have never gave up my furballs. I made a point years ago in my marriage she would go before the cats and out she went |
#9
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
Go back and get them. Barn cats do not live long lives. They are on the
farm to do a job -- not be pampered or loved. If the humans remember to feed them, that's a good day, but otherwise they are considered workers who need to keep down the rodent population (and sometimes starve trying.) Also, the cats will have lots of itchy fleas and probably vet care only if they have an open wound that is noticed. Barns do not provide much comfort. They get incredibly cold. Go get them and take care of them. They will adjust to your new life, just as you will. Rhonda 223rem wrote: I will be moving from a house in a suburban/semi-rural area to an apartment in a big metropolis. Now my cats can go out whenever they want and in fact they spend more time outdoors than indoors. They love to roam, climb trees, hunt, etc. They'd probably go nuts if confined in an apartment. To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. Well, I accepted his offer, and now I'm extremely sad... Was I wrong? What would you have done in my place? |
#10
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I gave away my cats, I'm heartbroken
223rem wrote:
To my surprise, my landlord, who always pets my cats when he rans into them, offered to take my cats and 'give them a good home' in a barn on his 50 acre farm. They'll probably become "barn cats"! This guy is a honorable man, he's proven that many times, so he'll keep his promise. If your cats are used to getting fed by you, and having access to indoor comforts and attention to their health, they won't do very well as barn cats. Will he feed them daily - twice daily as they are used to? What happens in winter? Will he make sure they are free of fleas, wormed, taken to the vet if they get hurt? It sounds unlikely to me, if he is takiing them as barn cats and not pets. His intentions are well-meaning, but I think it's going to be very tough on your guys. Most so-called barn cats are already semi-feral, which yours aren't. As others have said, it's a hard life, and I personally think you should get your cats back and take them with you. Yes, they will be wanting to go out badly at first in the new place, but you must be firm and not give in - they will adapt in time, and if you give them lots of attention and active play, they will be fine. You can give them climbing space by getting big cat climbing trees for them, and stimulate the hunting response with lots of play. Does the new apartment allow pets? Just my 2p-worth - Deb. -- http://www.scientific-art.com "He looked a fierce and quarrelsome cat, but claw he never would; He only bit the ones he loved, because they tasted good." S. Greenfield |
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