Drop Bears - The Truth

Dave Gerecke wrote:
Drop Bears - The Truth

Sort of like the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus:
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/
-L.

I see you went to wikepidia
wrote in message
oups.com...

Dave Gerecke wrote:
Drop Bears - The Truth

Sort of like the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus:
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/
-L.

I"m surprised that such a well researched article didn't mention the only
way to protect yourself from Drop Bears. Although it won't prevent an attack
altogether, smearing Vegemite behind your ears.

Sheesh, any kid with half a clue could have told them that!

Yowie


"Dave Gerecke" wrote in message
. ..
Drop Bears - The Truth

For those of you who do not know the history of Drop Bears in
Australia, I will tell it, so much as I know, as a warning to you and
your family.



Origin

In the beginning, there were koalas. Cuddly, furry, slow-moving and
sleepy, koalas eat gum leaves for 90% of their waking lives, but prefer
to spend most of their time asleep. They live in trees, venturing down
to the ground only when it is necessary to move from tree to tree.
Koalas are no threat to humans, unless you are foolish enough to climb
up a tree and attempt to catch one, under which circumstances the koala
may give you a bit of a scratch with its ample claws.

You will be aware that Australia is home to many species that simply
don't exist anywhere else in the world. Echidnas, wombats, koalas,
kangaroos, wallabies, bandicoots and potoroos are unique to Australia,
just to name a few. Another unique animal is the Drop Bear.

Description

The Drop Bear is described as an arboreal, (tree dwelling) carnivorous
mammal of Australia, Phascolarctus Hodgsonii, growing to around 4 feet
in height. This description is not far wrong. Believed to have evolved
from a similar line to koalas, Drop Bears vary from 3 to 5 feet in
hight, but are extremely strong. They are covered in a dense fur, which
can range from almost black to the Alpine Drop Bear's snowy white coat.
They have broad shoulders and razor sharp claws on all four limbs. They
are able to walk for short distances on two legs, but are much faster
on all four, being capable of bursts of speed approaching 60 km/h at
full gallop. Their heads are similar to those of koalas, but with
enlarged canine teeth, not unlike those of bears or other carnivorous
animals. There are no reported photographs of them, and only a select
and very lucky few have laid eyes on them and lived to tell the tale.

As you can imagine, admitting their existence would cause some degree
of panic, and destroy parts of Australia's ecotourism industry
overnight. It is for this reason that all government departments will,
and have denied any knowledge of the existence of the Drop Bear, and
are likely to continue to do so in the future. Being an avid outdoor
enthusiast, and having contact with people who spend a large proportion
of their time outdoors, I have gathered together scraps of information
from sources all around the country, linking Drop Bear involvement to
such events as the disappearance of Azaria Chamberlain, the death of
Captain James Cook in Hawaii, several war-time incidents in northern
Australia, the disappearance of a group of cross-country skiers in the
Victorian Alps, and the deaths of a number of hikers, canoeists,
4WDrivers, campers, sunbathers and swimmers throughout the country.
These 'accidents' are often reported as crocodile attacks, falls from
cliffs, exposure, and in the Chamberlain case, dingoes were blamed. I
have it on good authority in all of these cases, however, that a
government cover-up was at work to dispel rumours of Drop Bear attacks
and hide the truth from the public.

Dangers associated with Drop Bears

Drop Bears are not cuddly and friendly, like their cousin the koala.
They are vicious, calculating, cold-blooded killers. Their usual method
of attack is to select animals which stray from their group, including
humans, dropping down onto them from above. They then proceed to wrap
themselves around the body of their prey, squeezing them to death,
often crushing the rib cage and breaking the neck. Occasionally when
hunting, and when threatened, the Bears will drop down in front of, and
then challenge their prey, snarling and flashing their sharp claws and
teeth, before ripping their prey to shreds with their powerful arms and
legs. Of all the ways to die in the bush, this would have to be the
most horrible. Arms and Legs are torn from the body, along with huge
slabs of flesh, which are greedily consumed while the victim still
lives. If seen, Drop Bears should NOT be approached, as they are easily
frightened and likely to attack. Vehicles are known to have been
attacked, and being in one is no defence. An adult Drop Bear is able to
easily break windows and enter vehicles to extrude would-be meals.

Sub-species

The Common Drop Bear is found in wooded areas all over the Australian
continent, including Tasmania, and is thought to in fact venture as far
north as Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. It lives in trees, dropping
down to feed on kangaroos, wombats, and anything else that walks
beneath it.

The Burrowing Drop Bear is slightly smaller in stature than the common
variety, though just as ferocious. It is known to inhabit the drier
arid regions of the country, including the deserts of central
Australia. It is also fairly common amongst wooded areas, and burrows
have been found everywhere from beaches to desert plains. The burrows
vary in size according tothe individual animal, but the entry hole may
be considerably smaller than the actual living space. Holes 30cm in
diameter have been known to house Drop Bears 5 feet tall. The animal's
extraordinary contorting ability means it is able to crawl through
extremely small spaces in search of wombats and rabbits.

The Alpine Drop Bear grows a special winter coat of almost pure white
for camouflage in snowy areas. They have been spotted at lower
elevations when the food supply is short, but unlike Common and
Burrowing varieties, are able to hibernate for sustained periods. They
live in larger burrows than Burrowing Drop Bears, being less able to
contort through small openings. During the summer months, they remain
in their mountain environment, shedding their white coats and adopting
darker furs for camouflage in the lightly treed and grassy plains of
the high country.

The Aquatic Drop Bear, as its name suggests, feeds in and around bodies
of water. Lakes, rivers, dams and the Australian coastal waters are
home to this variety of Drop Bear. With webbed feet and an
water-resistant coat similar to a seal, they are ideally suited to
marine life, though still retain the unmistakable Drop Bear physique of
four legs, broad shoulders and sharp claws and teeth. Aquatic Drop
Bears have attacked canoeists, rafters, fisherman on the bank and in
boats, sunbathers and swimmers. Cases such as these are often falsely
reported by the media as crocodile or shark attacks, in an effort to
avoid the mass hysteria which would almost definitely result from an
admission that we have a Drop Bear problem.

Conclusion

I have endeavoured to provide you, the reader, with as much information
as I can at this time. I have been hounded and ridiculed for sharing
such information as this with the public, but I am reconciled to do my
best to warn as many people as I can of this potential danger in the
Australian Bush.

You have been warned.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/3695/db.htm

In article .com,
wrote:

Dave Gerecke wrote:
Drop Bears - The Truth

Sort of like the Pacific Northwest Tree Octopus:
http://zapatopi.net/treeoctopus/
-L.

Thank you for that web location.
I have "stolen" the info (with attributes and so forth) so I can send
this on to friends.
thanks again
dave

LOL! That should do it, all right. G

--
Joy

**Don't believe everything you think**

"Yowie" wrote in message
...
I"m surprised that such a well researched article didn't mention the only
way to protect yourself from Drop Bears. Although it won't prevent an
attack
altogether, smearing Vegemite behind your ears.

Sheesh, any kid with half a clue could have told them that!

Yowie


"Dave Gerecke" wrote in message
. ..
Drop Bears - The Truth

For those of you who do not know the history of Drop Bears in
Australia, I will tell it, so much as I know, as a warning to you and
your family.



Origin

In the beginning, there were koalas. Cuddly, furry, slow-moving and
sleepy, koalas eat gum leaves for 90% of their waking lives, but prefer
to spend most of their time asleep. They live in trees, venturing down
to the ground only when it is necessary to move from tree to tree.
Koalas are no threat to humans, unless you are foolish enough to climb
up a tree and attempt to catch one, under which circumstances the koala
may give you a bit of a scratch with its ample claws.

You will be aware that Australia is home to many species that simply
don't exist anywhere else in the world. Echidnas, wombats, koalas,
kangaroos, wallabies, bandicoots and potoroos are unique to Australia,
just to name a few. Another unique animal is the Drop Bear.

Description

The Drop Bear is described as an arboreal, (tree dwelling) carnivorous
mammal of Australia, Phascolarctus Hodgsonii, growing to around 4 feet
in height. This description is not far wrong. Believed to have evolved
from a similar line to koalas, Drop Bears vary from 3 to 5 feet in
hight, but are extremely strong. They are covered in a dense fur, which
can range from almost black to the Alpine Drop Bear's snowy white coat.
They have broad shoulders and razor sharp claws on all four limbs. They
are able to walk for short distances on two legs, but are much faster
on all four, being capable of bursts of speed approaching 60 km/h at
full gallop. Their heads are similar to those of koalas, but with
enlarged canine teeth, not unlike those of bears or other carnivorous
animals. There are no reported photographs of them, and only a select
and very lucky few have laid eyes on them and lived to tell the tale.

As you can imagine, admitting their existence would cause some degree
of panic, and destroy parts of Australia's ecotourism industry
overnight. It is for this reason that all government departments will,
and have denied any knowledge of the existence of the Drop Bear, and
are likely to continue to do so in the future. Being an avid outdoor
enthusiast, and having contact with people who spend a large proportion
of their time outdoors, I have gathered together scraps of information
from sources all around the country, linking Drop Bear involvement to
such events as the disappearance of Azaria Chamberlain, the death of
Captain James Cook in Hawaii, several war-time incidents in northern
Australia, the disappearance of a group of cross-country skiers in the
Victorian Alps, and the deaths of a number of hikers, canoeists,
4WDrivers, campers, sunbathers and swimmers throughout the country.
These 'accidents' are often reported as crocodile attacks, falls from
cliffs, exposure, and in the Chamberlain case, dingoes were blamed. I
have it on good authority in all of these cases, however, that a
government cover-up was at work to dispel rumours of Drop Bear attacks
and hide the truth from the public.

Dangers associated with Drop Bears

Drop Bears are not cuddly and friendly, like their cousin the koala.
They are vicious, calculating, cold-blooded killers. Their usual method
of attack is to select animals which stray from their group, including
humans, dropping down onto them from above. They then proceed to wrap
themselves around the body of their prey, squeezing them to death,
often crushing the rib cage and breaking the neck. Occasionally when
hunting, and when threatened, the Bears will drop down in front of, and
then challenge their prey, snarling and flashing their sharp claws and
teeth, before ripping their prey to shreds with their powerful arms and
legs. Of all the ways to die in the bush, this would have to be the
most horrible. Arms and Legs are torn from the body, along with huge
slabs of flesh, which are greedily consumed while the victim still
lives. If seen, Drop Bears should NOT be approached, as they are easily
frightened and likely to attack. Vehicles are known to have been
attacked, and being in one is no defence. An adult Drop Bear is able to
easily break windows and enter vehicles to extrude would-be meals.

Sub-species

The Common Drop Bear is found in wooded areas all over the Australian
continent, including Tasmania, and is thought to in fact venture as far
north as Papua New Guinea and Indonesia. It lives in trees, dropping
down to feed on kangaroos, wombats, and anything else that walks
beneath it.

The Burrowing Drop Bear is slightly smaller in stature than the common
variety, though just as ferocious. It is known to inhabit the drier
arid regions of the country, including the deserts of central
Australia. It is also fairly common amongst wooded areas, and burrows
have been found everywhere from beaches to desert plains. The burrows
vary in size according tothe individual animal, but the entry hole may
be considerably smaller than the actual living space. Holes 30cm in
diameter have been known to house Drop Bears 5 feet tall. The animal's
extraordinary contorting ability means it is able to crawl through
extremely small spaces in search of wombats and rabbits.

The Alpine Drop Bear grows a special winter coat of almost pure white
for camouflage in snowy areas. They have been spotted at lower
elevations when the food supply is short, but unlike Common and
Burrowing varieties, are able to hibernate for sustained periods. They
live in larger burrows than Burrowing Drop Bears, being less able to
contort through small openings. During the summer months, they remain
in their mountain environment, shedding their white coats and adopting
darker furs for camouflage in the lightly treed and grassy plains of
the high country.

The Aquatic Drop Bear, as its name suggests, feeds in and around bodies
of water. Lakes, rivers, dams and the Australian coastal waters are
home to this variety of Drop Bear. With webbed feet and an
water-resistant coat similar to a seal, they are ideally suited to
marine life, though still retain the unmistakable Drop Bear physique of
four legs, broad shoulders and sharp claws and teeth. Aquatic Drop
Bears have attacked canoeists, rafters, fisherman on the bank and in
boats, sunbathers and swimmers. Cases such as these are often falsely
reported by the media as crocodile or shark attacks, in an effort to
avoid the mass hysteria which would almost definitely result from an
admission that we have a Drop Bear problem.

Conclusion

I have endeavoured to provide you, the reader, with as much information
as I can at this time. I have been hounded and ridiculed for sharing
such information as this with the public, but I am reconciled to do my
best to warn as many people as I can of this potential danger in the
Australian Bush.

You have been warned.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Forum/3695/db.htm

NMR wrote:
I see you went to wikepidia

Whut?

-L.

My understanding is that wearing pointed hats is the best defense.
And carrying a stick.

Carrying said stick very fast
dave



In article , Yoj
wrote:

LOL! That should do it, all right. G