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"Why I Am Not Thin" [OT]
I was rummaging through some old school papers when I found this homework
from English Literature during my freshman year of college - 28 years ago (I delayed going back to school until my daughter was 5 and I have some other stories about the kids and motherhood if you're interested). I thought you might get a kick out of it. ================================================== ============== "Why I Am Not Thin" by Lori Crews 1. Starving tends to be painful. Anyone who is overweight knows the desperation that can come in the middle of the night when all the food stores and carry out "quick eats" are closed and suddenly "it" strikes. "It" is a craving for something, *anything* fattening. You can assuage your hunger without going out in only one way - become pregnant. Any good father-to-be will travel 15 miles at three in the morning to satisfy the craving of a mother-to-be. But since it is difficult to remain pregnant for any length of time, a food-aholic must develop other resources. I tried to convince my husband that my eating binges were post-partum cravings, but when my youngest child was four years old, he stopped believing that. 2. To be thin you have to diet. Talking about diets is boring. There's nothing worse than being caught in a conversation with a chronic fad dieter. Not only do you have to hear about each mouthful of cottage cheese, but you're also subjected to detailed descriptions of each food's effect on various bodily functions. Attending a "Fatties Anonymous" meeting is about as interesting as sitting in the front row of a proctologist's lecture! 3. I like food and eating. I hate it when people ask me why I eat so much (a thin person's basic question). Aside from having a life-long love affair with food and the will power of a gnat, there are many logical reasons why I eat. I eat when I'm nervous. I eat when I'm depressed. I eat when I'm angry. I eat when I'm happy. In fact, the only time I don't eat is when I'm asleep. I don't sleep enough. And I can never, never leave leftovers on the table. What would all those starving people in India do if I didn't eat all the food on my plate? 4. It's not my fault. Thin people don't know this, but there's a conspiracy in American television to keep fat people fat. Have you ever noticed that as soon as you go on a diet the steak and finger lobster commercial is run two hundred and fifty-six times a day? That's a total of one thousand, seven hundred and ninety-two times the first week of your diet, not even counting all the Big Macs, frozen pizzas, and talking ice cream freezers all us urging you to try me, fry me, *buy* me! 5. I don't want to be thin. Thin people make me nervous. They move around a lot faster than fat people. You just know that if a fire breaks out in your crowded building all the thin people will be out before a fat person can get out of his chair. Burning to death would be a painful way to lose weight. 6. I have no will power I can't believe that humans, frail and fallible as we are, can have the will power it take to be thin. There's something unnatural about a person who can refuse a chocolate éclair without drooling all over her host's carpet. I have a theory that thin people are really alien spies sent from Alpha Centuri some years back to invade Earth. The brought with them two of their most powerful weapons: Cholesterol and Cellulite! I can't think of any other logical explanation for all those thinnies. 7. Being fat can be a good thing. Most people don't realize that being fat has a lot of advantages (well, maybe two). If you're a fat woman's libber, you won't have that awful problem of being treated as a sex object. And a fat person doesn't have to worry about what to wear - there are only three dresses on the size 24 rack. 8. Never mind! I guess there's no real reason for writing this paper. If you're a fat person you already know all the suffering of a Monday dieter. You know what it's like to go pale and weak at the sight of a bathroom scale. And if you're a thin person... please go back to Alpha Centuri! ================================================== =============== Hugs, CatNipped |
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CatNipped wrote:
I was rummaging through some old school papers when I found this homework from English Literature during my freshman year of college - 28 years ago (I delayed going back to school until my daughter was 5 and I have some other stories about the kids and motherhood if you're interested). I thought you might get a kick out of it. I sure did! I loved it. Dan |
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I agree with every point!
-- Christine in Vantaa, Finland christal63 (at) yahoo (dot) com photos: http://photos.yahoo.com/christal63 |
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Annie Wxill wrote: One more advantage: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. |
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EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) wrote:
Annie Wxill wrote: One more advantage: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. I just did a quick search on Google with the words "osteoporosis likely obese thin". There is plenty of info on the net on big ppl not getting osteoporosis as easily as thin ones, but here's one example: http://www2.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases...teoporosis.htm QUOTE People with a BMI of 21 or less have a higher rate of bone loss than those who are heavier, and obese people have lower rates of bone loss than those who are ideal weight. UNQUOTE -- Christine in Vantaa, Finland christal63 (at) yahoo (dot) com photos: http://photos.yahoo.com/christal63 |
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"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message ... Annie Wxill wrote: One more advantage: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. Yes, but exercise makes for strong bones. And we do get enough calcium along with everything else. Jo |
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CK wrote:
EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) wrote: Annie Wxill wrote: One more advantage: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. I just did a quick search on Google with the words "osteoporosis likely obese thin". There is plenty of info on the net on big ppl not getting osteoporosis as easily as thin ones, but here's one example: http://www2.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases...teoporosis.htm QUOTE People with a BMI of 21 or less have a higher rate of bone loss than those who are heavier, and obese people have lower rates of bone loss than those who are ideal weight. UNQUOTE But what if we(thinner) folks drink milk every day and also eat lots of other forms of calcium? I'm not trying to buck the posts, but I doubt being overweight has any real benefit over not being overweight. I did find the post amusing; I like to eat, too. I simply have a genetic predisposition to being short and skinny. But Mom wears a size 0 or 2 and thinks I'm "fat" because I wear a size 6 or 8. I suppose when I'm 79 (if I live that long) I'll be back to a size 2, too.) Jill |
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"EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque)" wrote in message ... Annie Wxill wrote: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. Evelyn Weight bearing exercise, such as walking, will help protect against bone loss. This is what my doctor tells me. I think the strain on the bones it beneficial, but if you are overweight, it's probably hard on the ligaments and joints. I can't explain all the physiology involved, but that's the way it is. Annie, who is waiting for the results of a bone density scan. |
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Karen Chuplis wrote:
in article , jmcquown at wrote on 1/22/05 4:25 PM: CK wrote: EvelynVogtGamble(Divamanque) wrote: Annie Wxill wrote: One more advantage: Hefty women are less likely than thin women to get osteoporosis. Really? I would have thought the opposite, since they(we) put more strain on the skeletal structure. I just did a quick search on Google with the words "osteoporosis likely obese thin". There is plenty of info on the net on big ppl not getting osteoporosis as easily as thin ones, but here's one example: http://www2.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases...teoporosis.htm QUOTE People with a BMI of 21 or less have a higher rate of bone loss than those who are heavier, and obese people have lower rates of bone loss than those who are ideal weight. UNQUOTE But what if we(thinner) folks drink milk every day and also eat lots of other forms of calcium? I'm not trying to buck the posts, but I doubt being overweight has any real benefit over not being overweight. I did find the post amusing; I like to eat, too. I simply have a genetic predisposition to being short and skinny. But Mom wears a size 0 or 2 and thinks I'm "fat" because I wear a size 6 or 8. I suppose when I'm 79 (if I live that long) I'll be back to a size 2, too.) Jill Honestly, if you eat right and exercise, it probably doesn't matter, but so many thin women subsist on Diet coke and never eat fruits or vegetables, I think that pumps the statistics sideways. A chiropractor I know found that his 20 somethings were coming in with bones as brittle as 80 y.o.s because of diet. Honey, I've never had a Diet Coke in my life. I don't drink sodas. Wasn't raised that way and never acquired the taste for them. I also don't care for candy or cookies except on rare occasions. I *adore* spinach and brussels sprouts and cauliflower and broccoli. Also beef, veal, lamb, pork, chicken, beans of all kinds and don't stop me before I get to the soups made with cabbage, tomatoes, rice, lentils, barley, etc. Jill |
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