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Doggie Dictionary
Doggie Dictionary
Bicycles Two-wheeled exercise machines invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. Bump The best way to get your human's attention when they are drinking a fresh cup of coffee or tea. Deafness This is a malady that affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. Dog Bed any soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room. Drool Is what you do when your persons have food and you don't. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and look sad and let the drool fall to the floor, or better yet, on their laps. Garbage Can A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. Lean Every good dog's response to the command "sit !", especially if your person is dressed for an evening out. Incredibly effective before black-tie events. Leash A strap which attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go. Love Is a feeling of intense affection given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky a human will love you in return. Sofas Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating it is polite to run up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean. Thunder This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. Wastebasket This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. |
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Doggie Dictionary
On 2006-06-10, Dave Gerecke penned:
Doggie Dictionary Bicycles Two-wheeled exercise machines invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. That one threw me for a loop -- we used to exercise Puma by riding our bikes (coaster brake, single-speed) while he ran alongside on a leash. So that's the mental image I had for the first sentence, and then I got all confused =) Deafness This is a malady that affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction, or lying down. Ahh, yes, selective hearing. Garbage Can A container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread. Don't remind me (I've already told the story of the vet visit after Puma swallowed a bag full of old food -- I mean, the bag, with the food inside it). Love Is a feeling of intense affection given freely and without restriction. The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky a human will love you in return. The tail wag is just the beginning ... Thunder This is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and following at their heels. So true. Puma also ruined fireworks for me -- I couldn't enjoy them knowing how scared he was. Wastebasket This is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes, and old candy wrappers. When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the papers all over the house until your person comes home. Napkins, paper towels, and tissue papers were torn into tiny bits whenever encountered. I still miss him terribly. He's been gone about 7 years now. -- monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca |
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Doggie Dictionary
Dave Gerecke wrote:
Doggie Dictionary Bicycles Two-wheeled exercise machines invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards; the person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away. snip Thank you, Dave. Best wishes, Polonca and Soncek |
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