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#31
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The stigma of owning a cat.
Hi David~~I know just want you are going through, but first, how is
your little one? Any better? Is he eating now? I actually changed jobs at one point because the chiropractor that I worked for told me..."from now on tell your cats to die on a Thursday.." Thursdays are customary days for chiropractors offices to be closed. This family of chiropractors was in the business of 'healing' but had no compassion for anything past thier checkbooks! I work for the school system now and fortunately have sick and personnal days but I have always felt the stigma of being a cat owner and still feel compelled to white lie about my time off. Of course, if I was at work, I could not keep my mind on my job knowing I had a sick one at home. Even parents of human children fell compelled to lie when it comes to saying home with their sick kids. Or worse, they can't stand being home with them, so they send them to school or day care just to be rid of them for the day, they get sicker, spread their nasty germs and create an epidemic! I'll take my cats, anyday! Thanks for opening the subject line and hope all is well! Happy New Year...Lorraine, Toms River, NJ On Dec 20, 11:46*am, "David McCracken" wrote: Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. *So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. *The vet says her immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on steroids and IV fluids. *They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to pick her up in about a half hour. *She stopped eating once she got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and gets back to her routine. *Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and spending the holidays there. What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. *I suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. *My general impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick cat. *I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog. Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat (about $700 this week). *Someone had commented that they're not even sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. *I realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. *On some base level, I think they were actually being sincere. *I should point out that these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. *Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. |
#32
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The stigma of owning a cat.
On Saturday, December 22, 2007 6:05:34 PM UTC-7, cindys wrote:
To me, one of the most touching sights in the world is being in the supermarket and seeing a man buying cat food. Best regards, ---Cindy S. "Paul M. Cook" wrote in message news:28Uaj.158$1q4.97@trnddc06... I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype. I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are - well - sissy. And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family. That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad I am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now. The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand. To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would take to blow them to hell. Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but I love cats. Simple as that. The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not think. And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They needed a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with what people think. Paul Here Here!!! |
#33
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The stigma of owning a cat.
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#34
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The stigma of owning a cat.
On Thursday, December 20, 2007 11:46:56 AM UTC-5, David McCracken wrote:
Hi everyone: I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this perspective about cat ownership. One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and spending the holidays there. What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog. Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine. I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead of, say, a Doberman. Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences. Thanks again and happy holidays. I see what you are saying, and I have noticed similar things. What I have found is that the responses you are referring to are based upon people's more common interactions with cats - - with owners that do not attend to their needs with as much care as many of the people in this forum. That is, many people see a cat as an "almost-dog." People on this forum tend to see cats as an "almost-person," or more. When dogs run loose and do property damage or injury, the owner is assailed.. This is proper because the dog is behaving according to what is in its DNA. When cats run loose and do property damage or injury, people seem more permissive of it - - they are also hardwired for this type behavior. But the bar of expectations is not set as high for cat owners. In my county, cats are bound by the same domestic pet ordinances as dogs. Still, people are more inclined to report a loose dog than a loose cat. So, in that sense, it isn't all bad. Socially, your neighbors will expect you to be much more attentive to a dog than a cat. I always thought that this translated into people believing that cat owners were less committed to the relationship with the animal: your schedule isn't necessarily as restricted by the needs of your pet. However, this should not be taken as callous indifference towards your pet (cat), just someone's misinterpretation of the outwardly observable dynamics and how they differ. |
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