Lorelei is afraid of me :(

I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

She may eventually come out of it... after she finds out that living
with you is better than what she had....

On 11/16/2010 7:07 PM, Gandalf wrote:
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein



--
^..^ This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help
her wipe out Bunny's world domination.
--
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)©
email me at nalee1964 (at) comcast (dot) net
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

You may be right about all of what you have said. But I adopted an abused
dog and it took time but she learned to trust me. This just makes your job
twice as hard. Kenze knew you could do it so hang in there. We will all
send purrs and prayers for you. You may have locked her in the bedroom but
she could have found several places to sleep. Like ab used children trust
doesn't come easy.
ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote in message
...
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

There is also the fact that, while you force her to sleep in the bedroom
with you, you don't force her to sleep on the pillow beside you. This means
she trusts you when you're asleep. If you're careful not to raise your
voice or to move too quickly, especially if you're going toward her,
eventually she may become more trusting.

There is no term too bad for that woman and her son. Lorelei is very lucky
to have gotten away from them, and I think someday she'll realize that.

--

Joy

A miracle is something that is impossible until it happens. - from "Kids
Rite the Darndest Things" by Art Linkletter

"Granby" wrote in message
...
You may be right about all of what you have said. But I adopted an abused
dog and it took time but she learned to trust me. This just makes your
job twice as hard. Kenze knew you could do it so hang in there. We will
all send purrs and prayers for you. You may have locked her in the bedroom
but she could have found several places to sleep. Like ab used children
trust doesn't come easy.
ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote in message
...
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote in message
...
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

She is frightened by losing her family and of course she is afraid of you.
Give it time.
She'll be fine in a few weeks.
There is no reason at all to suggest she has been abused, she's scared by
losing what she had.
I would be, if I were her. She does not know you.
Tweed

After what I went through with Sadie, I know he can win this cats
friendship. Just keep doing the tummy rubs and things she will allow.
"Joy" wrote in message
. ..
There is also the fact that, while you force her to sleep in the bedroom
with you, you don't force her to sleep on the pillow beside you. This
means she trusts you when you're asleep. If you're careful not to raise
your voice or to move too quickly, especially if you're going toward her,
eventually she may become more trusting.

There is no term too bad for that woman and her son. Lorelei is very
lucky to have gotten away from them, and I think someday she'll realize
that.

--

Joy

A miracle is something that is impossible until it happens. - from "Kids
Rite the Darndest Things" by Art Linkletter

"Granby" wrote in message
...
You may be right about all of what you have said. But I adopted an
abused dog and it took time but she learned to trust me. This just makes
your job twice as hard. Kenze knew you could do it so hang in there. We
will all send purrs and prayers for you. You may have locked her in the
bedroom but she could have found several places to sleep. Like ab used
children trust doesn't come easy.
ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote in message
...
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ ^..^

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

Gandalf wrote:

I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

[snip for brevity]

Gandalf, I think you're jumping to conclusions here. Sure, she *might*
have been abused by the son, that's not an outlandish theory, but you
have no reason whatsoever to conclude that this is what actually happened.
There are many possible reasons for Lorelei's shyness.

Obviously the woman you got her from isn't a very responsible cat slave.
She set things up so that if it really didn't work out for Lorelei to
live with you, you could not return her. For all the woman knew, you
would end up bringing her to a shelter. I'm not saying you would do that,
just that she had no way of knowing that you wouldn't. And apparently she
didn't care, as long as she disposed of the cat. That doesn't say much
for the woman, but again, it doesn't mean Lorelei was abused.

You know, Licky still darts away if I get up from a sitting position,
or if I approach him without being really careful about it. He's just a
skittish cat. I don't think it's due to abuse, although I suppose it's
possible. Maybe he didn't receive enough socialization to humans at the
critical age. Or maybe he's just high strung, temperamentally. But when he
feels safe, he's the most cuddly, purry love sponge in the world. He has
definitely become more relaxed around me over the 7 years that I've had
him, but I think he'll always run off when a human, even me, approaches
him.

So, it might take more time then you've had together for her to calm
down. And I don't know, maybe she'll always be a little skittish when
you get up and walk around, like Licky, but that doesn't mean she can't
be loving and affectionate. I *really* think you don't have enough
information to come to such a drastic conclusion.

Have you tried lying down on the floor in a room where she's hiding? (I
guess you wouldn't want to do that in the basement, but didn't you also
say she hides in the dining room?) Just get down on the floor and make
yourself comfortable, maybe have a book with you, and read for a while.
She might come sniffing around to check you out when you're down on her
level and aren't doing unpredictable things. Maybe you could have some
treats on hand to tempt her to stick around for a while.

Good luck helping her get more comfortable. Don't give up this quickly!

Joyce

--
Excuse for Not Doing One's Homework:
My pit bull, here, ate it.
-- J.D. Berry, Springfield

On Nov 16, 7:07*pm, ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote:
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement *or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

She SLEEPS right by you, so your general theory is obviously incorrect
in some way. You may make it impossible for her to spend bed-time in a
different room but you couldn't force her to sleep right next to you;
she wouldn't sleep, couldn't sleep. It may be that you are scarier
when you stand up. There are probably other factors. I have a theory,
the theory that is mine, that there is something ABOUT the living
room, something too subtle for your mere human senses and intellect,
that alarms her.

--
Will in New Haven
"An ad hominem attack at least recognizes ones opponent's humanity."
-Bill Reich on FidoNet 1991

On Wed, 17 Nov 2010 00:38:23 -0000, "Christina Websell"
wrote:

I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

She is frightened by losing her family and of course she is afraid of you.
Give it time.
She'll be fine in a few weeks.
There is no reason at all to suggest she has been abused, she's scared by
losing what she had.
I would be, if I were her. She does not know you.
Tweed


Like I have said so many times to others - give her time!!! Let her
go at her own pace and do not get paranoid and try to rush things!!!
As she she sees she can trust you she will come around.

The main thing I would do is find a way to block off the basement even
if I had to find a sheet of plywood or whatever to completely cover
the door.

Like I said about the first cat I got she hid for the first couple
weeks coming out only at night when I was asleep then after that she
would sneek out when I was out of the room. Now after 14 / 15 years
of having her there are times when I wish she would be more like when
I got her!!! Not really but now she is always after me!!!

On Nov 16, 4:07*pm, ingold1234[at]yahoo[dot]com (Gandalf) wrote:
I have finally figured out WHY Lorelei likes to hide in the basement *or
my bedroom: Lorelei is afraid of me.

It explains everything: why she shies away if I move too quickly near
her. Why she jumps if I make noise near her.

Why she hides from me

I think the son of the woman who gave me the cat must have abused her at
some point: cats NEVER forget that.

Lorelei was OK when I was at her previous house, because her human, the
one she trusted, was there, and she was relaxed.

But, she's scared of me.

Almost certainly because she was abused.

It may not have been the woman's son; it could have been a friend or
neighbor.

But, it was almost certainly a smaller male; since I'm about the size of
a small teenager.

I remind Lorelei of whoever abused her.

That's why she absolutely REFUSES to come into the living room: she's
SCARED of me.

And the odds a she will NEVER get over it

Once something like that happens to a cat, they are NEVER the same
again.

Lorelei would probably feel safe with a female; especially a larger
female, like the women she was living with.

Aside from sleeping with me, which I MAKE her do, by locking her in the
bedroom with me, really NOTHING has changed since I brought Lorelei
home.

At EVERY possible opportunity, she hides in the bedroom or basement, if
I forget and leave those areas open to her.

Otherwise, she just sits on the floor in the kitchen, and shies away
from me if I reach out to pet her too quickly.

I can't believe it took me this LONG to figure this out.

I remind her, EVERY TIME SHE SEES ME, of whoever abused her.

Lorelei is NEVER going to trust me.

Her brain is hard wired to be afraid of me

She's going to be miserable, as long as she lives with me

The telephone number I have for Lorelei's former human is disconnected.

My E-mails to her bounce.

Basically, she SOLD Lorelei to me for $40, after I bargained her down
from $50. Then she moved, and 'left no forwarding address'.

I have NO WAY to get a hold of her.

I remember when I asked her for her last name, so I could get the vet
records, she evaded answering me, and told me that 'everyone at the
clinic knows Lorelei'. I *remember that I asked her twice, and both
times she dodged the question, and wouldn't give me her name

But, they DIDN'T know Lorelei at the clinic, because Lorelei hadn't been
to the clinic for 2 years. All I had was Lorelei's name, and the clinic
wanted the OWNER'S name, which I didn't have: the person I talked to was
annoyed that I didn't have Lorelei's owner's full name.

And, the woman gave me the WRONG NAME for the clinic: I had to call two
clinics in the small town, before I got the right one.

I remember asking her the name of the clinic twice, and not getting the
same answer: I had not written it down the first time, but the second
time, she have me a little bit different name for the clinic, and that
clinic doesn't even exist.

This woman never told me a SINGLE THING that Lorelei likes, except that
she liked to be on a tall cat tree: where nobody could sneak up on her.

I asked a LOT of questions, but I remember that when I asked her what
treats Lorelei liked, the woman acted surprised by the question, and had
no answer.

The people who had Kenzie made SURE that I knew the Kenzie absolutely
LOVED potato chips. She made a BIG point of it, in fact.

And, while I wanted to sort of get to know Lorelei, she was in a hurry
to get rid of me, so I didn't even get answers to all of my questions.

She was moving, and she just wanted to get rid of Lorelei.

I remember when I was leaving, and I wanted to give her my E-mail
address, and my phone number, I had to INSIST on writing it down for
her: she didn't care if she had them or not, because she KNEW she was
never going to talk to me, or send me an E-mail.

She doesn't care what happens to Lorelei: she just wanted to get rid of
her...and collect the $40, which was all of the money I had.

All of this information seems SO OBVIOUS now, but I didn't put it
together until last night, when I got up in the middle of the night to
use the bathroom, and Lorelei left a nice warm room, on a nice soft
pillow, to run down into the *COLD basement, where I found her in a
corner, trying to hide

~~~~~~~~~~~~ *^..^ * *

"Life without cats would be only marginally worth living."
-TC, in loving memory of the unmercifully, relentlessly, sweet calico
kitty, Kenzie.

Every day was a treasure with Kenzie; I tried to treat them that way.
There would only be so many, and now, there will never, ever, be any
more

How you behave towards cats here below determines your status in Heaven.
- Robert Heinlein

if she allowed you to rub her tummy, or even pet her at all, then
she's not afraid of you.

Please give her time...I've had Imp for over seven years and he still
runs away when i walk toward him.

Just be patient.

Kristi