(OT) I'm desperate

"Christina Websell" wrote

Cats do not care how tidy/untidy the house is. They are non-judgmental
about that sort of thing, as long as you feed them and care for them they
are fine.

A few others have said this also. Perhaps they don't "care" as such, but the
piles of junk often get peed on. If that's not a gesture of disgust, it does
not matter, the result is the same. Yuck!

I lost 3 stone in weight through not shopping and feeding myself when I
got depression

Lucky you. The less I eat, the more I gain. Which adds to the depression and
back pain (more weight - mostly in the midsection - for the back to haul
around.

You need to go to your doctor and come clean about your situation. He
should prescribe you with a good anti-depressant, although they do take a
while to work there is something to look forward to, feeling better again
in a few weeks and able to function again.

You might ask him if he can refer you to a local Community Mental Health
Team if you have them in the USA, they can do amazing things here by
getting in a cleaning team to blitz an out-of-control cleaning situation
for free to set someone on the road again.

We don't have those here, sad to say.

I was like that. Unable to motivate myself to cook or shop. My cousin
saw the way I was going and took me to the doctor. I have got well again
through what he prescribed and some counselling.

It's actually a bit more complex than that for me. I would actually like to
do more shopping for food, but first of all it involves a minimum of 40+
miles of travel, on minor roads where the possible speed is quite limited,
so going to shop entails a minimum of 3 hours (two of which are spent
travelling). And at today's gas prices I can't justify going to town "only"
to get food, so I wait until other errands have accumulated. Usually that is
once a week, sometimes twice, and rarely, less often.

Another issue is my freezer not working, so I can only get stuff I will eat
within a few days or before it spoils, whichever is soonest.

Last but far from least is the fact that the small towns near me simply do
not carry much of the foods I really like. I can only get what I crave and
love by going to "the city" and although it's just 75 miles away, I only
manage to get there two or three times a year. In the meantime I eat what I
can get and don't enjoy it half as much, but a lot of that stuff sits in
the fridge until it rots, simply because I crave other foods that can't be
had without a long drive that eats a whole day from early morning to late
evening. Typically when going to Springfield I will leave at 8-9 AM, arrive
at 11, go straight to lunch because I didn't bother with breakfast and am
starving. Then I spend the afternoon running from store to store until I am
starving again, and then grab some supper, then head home. By the time I get
back, it is 9-10 PM, with just enough time left before bed to feed & water
the cats and horses, and bring in the groceries. Then I eat well for about a
week!!! before running out of my favorite stuff again.

I would advise you to approach a local church, like others have said, it
doesn't really matter what denomination. Speak to the minister and be
honest about your situation, explain what has happened and why, that you
can't see a way out of it, have no friends or relatives, and ask if there
is any help you could get to get yourself back on track. I feel sure you
will be helped.
Yes, there is an answer, and no, you won't have to always live like that.
You have started already by asking for help here.
Ask a church minister if his members will help. They will.
Go to the doctor and get treatment for your clinical depression. This is
the most important.

I'm so reluctant to use prescription meds that I won't do it unless it's
absolutely essential, and even then I prefer "real" drugs rather than
synthetic ones. For example, if I can't do without a powerful painkiller,
I'd choose morphine over anything else.

Luckily, today I happened to find a bottle of St. John's Wort extract among
the junk and have promised myself to stay on it this time and not lose track
of the bottle (and there are half a dozen more bottles of the same stuff in
this place somewhere). That's the extent of my willingness to take
medication. I know St. John's Wort works, I have experience with it, and
it's dirt cheap, but mostly have not been able to keep track of the bottle,
or remember to use it if I do know where it is.

Pat wrote:
Luckily, today I happened to find a bottle of St. John's Wort extract
among the junk and have promised myself to stay on it this time and
not lose track of the bottle (and there are half a dozen more bottles
of the same stuff in this place somewhere). That's the extent of my
willingness to take medication. I know St. John's Wort works, I have
experience with it, and it's dirt cheap, but mostly have not been
able to keep track of the bottle, or remember to use it if I do know
where it is.

I was going to suggest St. John's Wort. Keep it in the bathroom near the
sink. Is there a medicine chest or cabinet? I used it before I had to move
on to prescription medication for my depression. It did the trick for a
while, but eventually I had to go with something stronger. I'm fortunate in
that my doctor gives me the samples the drug rep leaves with him so I
haven't had to pay for the prescription in a while. We did have to increase
my daily dosage after I lost my job. I got into such a blue funk, if my LLL
hadn't come back in my life just prior to that I probably would never have
gotten back out of bed. It's still a struggle, but every little thing you
can do helps.

Jill

"jmcquown" wrote

I was going to suggest St. John's Wort. Keep it in the bathroom near the
sink. Is there a medicine chest or cabinet?

There's a sink in my bathroom but when I replaced the plumbing I didn't
bother hooking up the bathroom sink. I just bring a glass of water in there
or draw one from the bath faucet for toothbrushing, or if the kitchen sink
is empty (that does happen a few times a year) I brush there. The rest of
the time I can't find the bathroom counter at all. No cabinet either. For
now I have put the bottle on top of the fridge.

On 2005-10-06, Pat penned:

I've lost count of the boxes I've filled and set aside. They're
what's covering the floor, many layers deep, and stuffed into
closets, under the bed, in the spare room, under the kitchen table
and on the counters and shelves, even atop the fridge and in the
vehicles and even under the house!!! They're what I have to search
through every time I need something. Literally dozens of boxes of
stuff, all too needed to toss out, collecting dust and inviting cats
to sleep and pee in them. I try to empty a few at a time and put the
contents away....

When my husband was young, his family moved a lot. They had an odd
custom that worked for them.

If a box hadn't been opened after the last two moves, they would throw
it out without even opening it to see what was inside.

Perhaps you could do something similar -- if you haven't used
something in two years, can you really say that you "need" it?

(Disclaimer: I personally could never do it. So I understand if you
couldn't, either. But it's certainly a way to address clutter.)

Oddly, I don't have a problem with keeping the toilet and tub clean.

Well, that's quite an accomplishment right there, as far as I can see!

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote

When my husband was young, his family moved a lot. They had an odd
custom that worked for them.

If a box hadn't been opened after the last two moves, they would throw
it out without even opening it to see what was inside.

Perhaps you could do something similar -- if you haven't used
something in two years, can you really say that you "need" it?

Around here, if I haven't used it in two years, it's because I haven't been
able to locate it!

I suppose this is worth a try. I never thought of it because in the past
I've had such horrific experiences with assorted varieties of "Christian"
people, the vast majority of whom I have later regretted ever having trusted
in the first place.

Perhaps you could try your local Unitarian church, which operates under
a spirit of inquiry, tolerance and discovery. They don't require you
to have a specific faith, only to believe in the equality of everyone
and the right of people to figure out their own beliefs. This is where
DP and I go. DP is humanist-atheist and I'm Pagan, and we get along
great with the rest of the congregation.

I'm in a similar position myself. DP was ill with bronchitis for 3
weeks and the stuff piled up, since he was either at school (12 hours a
day) or in bed trying to recover, and I am in school too. Then he left
for clerkship for 6 weeks (1 down, 5 to go). The house was a sty, I
now have to do all the cooking and cleaning myself for the next 5
weeks, and I have to pass my classes too. My bedroom is still super
gross, but I do the dishes each day and then make a little progress
where I can, and slowly it is improving.

Purrs.

--Fil

You might check out www.Modestneeds.org. I just read about it in the
Reader's Digest. A man has set up a group to give small amounts of
financial help to people who need it. If you write about your problem and
say you'd like a couple of hundred dollars to pay someone to clean your
house, who knows? You might be one of those chosen to be helped.

--
Joy

**Don't believe everything you think**

"Enfilade" wrote in message
oups.com...


I suppose this is worth a try. I never thought of it because in the past
I've had such horrific experiences with assorted varieties of
"Christian"
people, the vast majority of whom I have later regretted ever having
trusted
in the first place.

Perhaps you could try your local Unitarian church, which operates under
a spirit of inquiry, tolerance and discovery. They don't require you
to have a specific faith, only to believe in the equality of everyone
and the right of people to figure out their own beliefs. This is where
DP and I go. DP is humanist-atheist and I'm Pagan, and we get along
great with the rest of the congregation.

I'm in a similar position myself. DP was ill with bronchitis for 3
weeks and the stuff piled up, since he was either at school (12 hours a
day) or in bed trying to recover, and I am in school too. Then he left
for clerkship for 6 weeks (1 down, 5 to go). The house was a sty, I
now have to do all the cooking and cleaning myself for the next 5
weeks, and I have to pass my classes too. My bedroom is still super
gross, but I do the dishes each day and then make a little progress
where I can, and slowly it is improving.

Purrs.

--Fil

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .

You might ask him if he can refer you to a local Community Mental Health
Team if you have them in the USA, they can do amazing things here by
getting in a cleaning team to blitz an out-of-control cleaning situation
for free to set someone on the road again.

We don't have those here, sad to say.

Pat, this is one area that the minister and surrounding churches can be
helpful. I know region where you live and I understand about the "do good"
Christians. The advantage you have is that you live in a rural area
surrounded by small towns. I grew up in a similar small town in the
Northeast area of the same state. The "church ladies" were always willing
to help out someone who needed help. If you can find a minister who you
feel comfortable with, explain your situation and ask if there are any
"church ladies" who would be willing to help you clean the house. Many of
these women really want to be helpful and they will quite a sense of
accomplishment bringing order to your chaos. The only problem will be
having them there if you are not feeling up to dealing with them.

I'm going to ask a very redundant question, have you contacted the
Department of Mental Health for this state? There are a lot of programs
that are available, but similar to the "do gooding" Christians, sometimes
you have to try a couple of times to get a case worker who cares. If you
have one who "doesn't care" request a supervisor and explain the problem and
ask for a different worker.

I know this is a lot of stuff to throw at someone who is depressed, but if
you have a day where you are feeling up to it, it is worth trying.

E-mail me off line if you want more specifics, my address is not munged.

Diane

Lots of purrs and best wishes for you to find a solution that works for you,
Pat, we are thinking of you,
--
Polonca & Soncek

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .
snip
I'm so reluctant to use prescription meds that I won't do it unless it's
absolutely essential, and even then I prefer "real" drugs rather than
synthetic ones. For example, if I can't do without a powerful painkiller,
I'd choose morphine over anything else.

Luckily, today I happened to find a bottle of St. John's Wort extract
among
the junk and have promised myself to stay on it this time and not lose
track
of the bottle (and there are half a dozen more bottles of the same stuff
in
this place somewhere). That's the extent of my willingness to take
medication. I know St. John's Wort works, I have experience with it, and
it's dirt cheap, but mostly have not been able to keep track of the
bottle,
or remember to use it if I do know where it is.

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .

"Christina Websell" wrote

Cats do not care how tidy/untidy the house is. They are non-judgmental
about that sort of thing, as long as you feed them and care for them they
are fine.

A few others have said this also. Perhaps they don't "care" as such, but
the piles of junk often get peed on. If that's not a gesture of disgust,
it does not matter, the result is the same. Yuck!

I lost 3 stone in weight through not shopping and feeding myself when I
got depression

Lucky you. The less I eat, the more I gain. Which adds to the depression
and back pain (more weight - mostly in the midsection - for the back to
haul around.

You need to go to your doctor and come clean about your situation. He
should prescribe you with a good anti-depressant, although they do take a
while to work there is something to look forward to, feeling better again
in a few weeks and able to function again.

You might ask him if he can refer you to a local Community Mental Health
Team if you have them in the USA, they can do amazing things here by
getting in a cleaning team to blitz an out-of-control cleaning situation
for free to set someone on the road again.

We don't have those here, sad to say.

You must have some sort of mental health service in your state, surely.
Almost everyone with true clinical depression will not be able to take care
of themselves properly, or their house. They are used to it, there is no
stigma.

I was like that. Unable to motivate myself to cook or shop. My cousin
saw the way I was going and took me to the doctor. I have got well again
through what he prescribed and some counselling.

It's actually a bit more complex than that for me. I would actually like
to do more shopping for food, but first of all it involves a minimum of
40+ miles of travel, on minor roads where the possible speed is quite
limited, so going to shop entails a minimum of 3 hours (two of which are
spent travelling).

I'm sorry that it's so far for you to go food shopping. I moan a little
because it's two miles!

And at today's gas prices I can't justify going to town "only"
to get food, so I wait until other errands have accumulated.

Your gas prices are still about a quarter of ours. I pay 90 pence per
LITRE. 4.5 litres to the English gallon.


Usually that is once a week, sometimes twice, and rarely, less often.


Next time you go, get some tins in. Tins of meat, corned beef is quite
cheap here, tins of peas, beans, potatoes, fruit etc etc, as many tins as
you can afford.

Another issue is my freezer not working, so I can only get stuff I will
eat within a few days or before it spoils, whichever is soonest.

What is wrong with your freezer?

Last but far from least is the fact that the small towns near me simply do
not carry much of the foods I really like. I can only get what I crave and
love by going to "the city" and although it's just 75 miles away, I only
manage to get there two or three times a year. In the meantime I eat what
I can get and don't enjoy it half as much, but a lot of that stuff sits
in the fridge until it rots, simply because I crave other foods that can't
be had without a long drive that eats a whole day from early morning to
late evening.

At the moment, Pat, you can forget about how difficult it is to get foods
you really like and that you crave for. You need to eat and not just
oatmeal.
We would all like to eat foods we like and crave for. I would eat steak
quite a lot if I could and swordfish.
Until you feel better, get plenty of tins in, you only have to heat them up
and at least you will be fed easily.


Go to the doctor and get treatment for your clinical depression. This
is
the most important.

I'm so reluctant to use prescription meds that I won't do it unless it's
absolutely essential, and even then I prefer "real" drugs rather than
synthetic ones. For example, if I can't do without a powerful painkiller,
I'd choose morphine over anything else.

Luckily, today I happened to find a bottle of St. John's Wort extract
among the junk and have promised myself to stay on it this time and not
lose track of the bottle (and there are half a dozen more bottles of the
same stuff in this place somewhere). That's the extent of my willingness
to take medication. I know St. John's Wort works, I have experience with
it, and it's dirt cheap, but mostly have not been able to keep track of
the bottle, or remember to use it if I do know where it is.

Use St. John's Wort if it works for you. It can cause photo-sensitivity
though.
Prozac has sorted *me* out after bereavement and some other difficult issues
which led to me getting in almost the same situation as you. Sorted now.
Still a little untidy, but clean and can have friends round without dying of
embarrassment. I've never been tidy and I don't suppose I'll change now.

Tweed