Nox Vs A Newsgroup

"Singh" wrote in message ...
Do troll-people REALLY talk like this? I've heard of flaming, but mangling
the English language, now, really...


here is a fine example of a troll from the Limestone Pagans list.

Mauve told me about this grrreeaaat group, so I
thought I'd check it out!!!! U guys R kewl!!!! I
just love paganism and I've been learning all about
it
since I met Mauve!!!! She's been teaching me for
about 2 months, and I think it's awesome posem!!!
Anyway, I thought I could introduce myself and say
hi
to all U guyz!!! So anyway, I just got this great
tat, I was wondering what you guyz might think!!!
Check it out!!! It's
http://ca.profiles.yahoo.com/honey1_bee Well I hope
you guyz are as wikkid awesome as Mauve sayz ya r.
L8tr!

We weren't "wikkid awesome" enough to appreciate her sexual comments
to every male on the group it seems....

--Fil

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 23:51:51 -0400, "Singh"
wrote:

Do troll-people REALLY talk like this? I've heard of flaming, but
mangling
the English language, now, really...

The PuppyWizard on alt.pets.dog.labrador mangles the English language
and writes with all cap's mingled in with the lower case letters. (He
also crossposts and changes his name every other day so that he can't
be kill-filed easily.)

Nan

EEEEK! holding up crossed fingers HUSH! Don't evoke the PoopyWizard!

EEEWWW... sounds like something I'd see in a Ron Popeil ad! Just 3 easy
payments of $39.99...

Blessed be!
Baha

;

Hugs,

CatNipped

Kreisleriana wrote:
On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 23:51:51 -0400, "Singh"
yodeled:

Do troll-people REALLY talk like this? I've heard of flaming, but
mangling the English language, now, really...
Blessed be, Baha
And why recipes?

Why NOT recipes???

Internet Inhabitant Series: The Farking Troll
IN THE FORUMS-- He lingers in the shadows like a Quake-playing camper, a
witless coward waiting to shoot someone in the back with a half-conceived
verbal sniper-shot. He hides behind ill-conceived pseudo-names, like W1NGNUT
or LAM3R or PAUL, disguising his true identity in order to protect himself
from the scorn of his Real Life peers. He roams from forum to forum looking
for someone or something to denounce, because he's a bitter, frightened,
nerd-of-the-ages. This creature is the farking troll.
Welcome to our continuing series on Internet Inhabitants. This week we look
at the farking troll, a dimwitted loser that thrives on discord and
discontent in online forums. The farking troll tries to use his verbal
diarrhea to impress other forum readers.
The farking troll is a less-than-fascinating creature, having nothing of
value to contribute to society. Yet everywhere we surf, this vomit-writing
forum-leecher is rampant, puking up words that add to the verbal sewage that
purvades many online communities.
How does this bottom-dwelling scab-sucker thrive? His vocabulary and
spelling are as weak as his under-developed muscles, and he thinks that
"grammar" is the woman married to "grampar." It's surprising that this
organic virus has enough brain power to maintain his own breathing. Yet
somehow, this bed-wetting boor consistently finds fodder upon which to feed
on, and is able to spew out his dribble like a crack-induced soothsayer.
His critical attacks are simple but venomous, and his words are like a
poisonous, hate-inducing propaganda, intended to disturb the **** upon which
stands the frail structure of the online community. Too many times does the
farking troll succeed in this, for his power grows from the ignorant,
pre-teen community members who treat his ass-wiped, ****-smear postings like
verses of gospel.
Never mind that the farking troll has absolutely nothing intelligent to say,
and rarely knows anything about any of the subjects being discussed--those
things matter not to the uneducated. His only goal is to insult, and then
enjoy the attention he receives from his fatuous feedback, like the spoiled
child who constantly yells "look at me!" to his tired mother.
Comments like "worst...link...ever" or "this sucks" or "where is teh funny?"
are the most common telling indicators of a farking troll. To him, these
simple words are the throwing stones of a puerile youth who grew up in the
school yards yelling out replies such as "oh yah?" and "I know you are, but
what am I?"
But fear not, for these terse statements are about as inflammatory as the
farking troll can get. Anything more spirited or preconceived would be
beyond his comprehension. And when there is the rare example of a clever
retort, it is usually found when the farking troll copies and pastes it from
another forum member's valid critique.
The simplistic characteristics of the undersized brain of a farking troll
are just its natural method of establishing a place within the forum
hierarchy. This agonistic pattern of behavior is consistent with the farking
troll's unsatisfactory sex-life (a direct result of his undersized
genitalia), and mostly likely from childhood confusion arising from a long
period of sexually satisfying his own step-father.
A problem with this sticks-and-stones behaviour is that once the hierarchy
is established, and an alpha farking troll is pronounced, immature
challengers will learn to imitate the leader using observational learning.
They will copy and mimic the alpha farking troll by repeating his
catch-phrases and posting their own foul fecal feedback. When the alpha
troll puts down a particular comment, link, or story, the submissive forum
posters will always follow, like ass-licking sycophants looking to impress
their master.
We loathe the existence of the farking troll, but somehow we find a reason
to pity this brain-damaged malcontent. Is it because this fat-**** is only
lashing out as a result of his mother breast-fed him until he was nine, and
now his misdirected anger is focused on the nameless, faceless individuals
of the Internet who can't possibly fight back? Is he jealous of all others
who can form complete sentences? Does he regret spending his teenage years
playing Minesweeper and Tetris while his friends sought an education and
pursued careers? Or is it because the farking troll cannot afford a decent
computer, and is pounding away with his sweaty sausage-like fingers on the
sticky keyboard of his pathetic Pentium-90 machine?
You can just imagine the farking troll in his own dirty environment,
wallowing in his own sweat in a torn "Linux Sucks" t-shirt and soiled sweat
pants, subsisting on a diet of Ding Dongs, Cheezies, and Red Bull. He
probably hasn't seen an exercise bike in his life. It wouldn't be hard to
conclude that he has never known the company of a woman, and the outside
world frightens him like a fearful child trying to cross the street for the
first time. Of course he's unemployed, living off his parents' allowance or
mooching off of his roommate. This unambitious financial freedom allows the
farking troll those extra hours of time to post his empty opinions.
Should we condemn or pity the farking troll? Do we blame the mosquito for
slowly sucking our lifeblood, or do we just slap at it without a second
thought? Really, the farking troll deserves no more attention than the
bubble gum that sticks to the bottom of your running shoe. But occasionally,
that gum will get stuck in your carpet and will need to be removed, like a
loose thread from a comfortable sweater.
(I have no fear of reprisal from this article, as it is unlikely the farking
troll would have understood its retaliatory nature, he is too afraid to use
his real name or email address, and he is probably still trying to figure
what the word "fatuous" means--Editor).
http://www.thetoque.com/050222/farking_troll.htm
--

Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid

On Sat, 23 Apr 2005 22:29:44 -0400, "Singh"
yodeled:


"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
"Nan" wrote in message
...
On Fri, 22 Apr 2005 23:51:51 -0400, "Singh"
wrote:

Do troll-people REALLY talk like this? I've heard of flaming, but
mangling
the English language, now, really...

The PuppyWizard on alt.pets.dog.labrador mangles the English language
and writes with all cap's mingled in with the lower case letters. (He
also crossposts and changes his name every other day so that he can't
be kill-filed easily.)

Nan

EEEEK! holding up crossed fingers HUSH! Don't evoke the PoopyWizard!

EEEWWW... sounds like something I'd see in a Ron Popeil ad! Just 3 easy
payments of $39.99...



"If you call right now, we'll SUPERSIZE your order!" :P

Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

"Duke of URL" had some very interesting things to
say about Nox Vs A Newsgroup:

Internet Inhabitant Series: The Farking Troll

You might like the Flame Warriors gallery at
http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm . :-)

--
"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be
doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding.
:-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL

"Duke of URL" wrote in message
...
(snip Ted Koppel)

That was farking hilarious!!!

Seanette Blaylock wrote:
"Duke of URL" had some very interesting things to
say about Nox Vs A Newsgroup:

Internet Inhabitant Series: The Farking Troll

You might like the Flame Warriors gallery at
http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm . :-)

Oh YES!
--

Cliologist, Philanthropologist, Prothonotary Wibbler,
Paleoconservative, Surface Warrior Squid

"Duke of URL" had some very interesting things to
say about Nox Vs A Newsgroup:

Internet Inhabitant Series: The Farking Troll
You might like the Flame Warriors gallery at
http://redwing.hutman.net/%7Emreed/index.htm . :-)
Oh YES!

I thought you'd enjoy that. ;-)

--
"The universe is quite robust in design and appears to be
doing just fine on its own, incompetent support staff notwithstanding.
:-)" - the Dennis formerly known as (evil), MCFL