OT - angry

I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. Someone was
selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that I
wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had responded so they
were going to sell it to me. I can't make it over to that side of town
until late in the week. Confirmed with the person (who happens to be the
husband of one of the freecycle moderators) and he said "Thursday is fine".

An hour later the other moderator of freecycle replied to the same group
that she would buy the netbook, mentioning too many kids, not enough
computers. When I saw that, I privately emailed the seller saying he could
sell to the other person because they had a bigger need than me.

An hour after that, the wife of the person selling the netbook (the
freecycle moderator) publically wrote (accidentally of course) that her
husband promised it to someone else who couldn't come until Thursday, but
that person sounded flaky and she'd let the other person know after that if
it was still available. Me of course being the one who "sounded" flaky.
She tried to recall the message twice in an hour and it didn't recall, so I
wrote to the group that I was the flaky one and felt she owed me an apology
for saying that.

The moderator of the "sister" group then stepped in saying none of it
belonged in public, and OF COURSE it didn't, but if I'm called flaky I have
the right to defend myself because those reading probably wouldn't ever let
me have something in freecycle if I wanted it because I'm flaky and probably
wouldn't show up. I've NEVER been a no show. This woman had nothing to
base her judgment of me being flaky on.

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. I just want a public apology. Is that wrong?

On Oct 3, 7:56*pm, "Cheryl" wrote:
I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. *Someone was
selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that I
wanted to buy it. *Got confirmation that no one else had responded so they
were going to sell it to me. *I can't make it over to that side of town
until late in the week. *Confirmed with the person (who happens to be the
husband of one of the freecycle moderators) and he said "Thursday is fine".

An hour later the other moderator of freecycle replied to the same group
that she would buy the netbook, mentioning too many kids, not enough
computers. *When I saw that, I privately emailed the seller saying he could
sell to the other person because they had a bigger need than me.

An hour after that, the wife of the person selling the netbook (the
freecycle moderator) publically wrote (accidentally of course) that her
husband promised it to someone else who couldn't come until Thursday, but
that person sounded flaky and she'd let the other person know after that if
it was still available. *Me of course being the one who "sounded" flaky..
She tried to recall the message twice in an hour and it didn't recall, so I
wrote to the group that I was the flaky one and felt she owed me an apology
for saying that.

The moderator of the "sister" group then stepped in saying none of it
belonged in public, and OF COURSE it didn't, but if I'm called flaky I have
the right to defend myself because those reading probably wouldn't ever let
me have something in freecycle if I wanted it because I'm flaky and probably
wouldn't show up. *I've NEVER been a no show. *This woman had nothing to
base her judgment of me being flaky on.

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. *I just want a public apology. *Is that wrong?

Absolutely not. This person attacked your character on a public forum.
It was a stupid faux paus and she should have *already* apologized.
BUT...snicker....doesn't it make you feel kinda better when you
just *imagine* the kind of panic that set in when she realized what
she'd
done?
That'll-be-five-cents-Charlie-Brown analysis from my perspective
is....she's
a condescending sort who enjoyed playing out the scenario of having
the
power to refuse the transaction with you, and I guess this kind of lie
made
her shine a little instead of just telling the truth.
I love the Freecycle *idea*. Unfortunately our Freecycle *IS* just a
bunch
of flakes. I mean if I posted "OFFER: Free Headache", I'd probably get
a dozen emails for people wanting it. The same people respond to every
offer. I recently offered a 40 lb. bag of calf replacement milk and I
couldn't
believe how many people wanted it. I just contacted the first woman
who
asked. She came to pick it up and I asked her if they had baby calves.
Turns out they didn't have livestock at all. She said "But we want to
move to the country some day." (?????)
I'd rather have just given it back to the vet, and I should have.
Every
transaction I have with freecycle I swear it will be the last. But it
*is* such a good concept, if we just had a good group.

Sherry

i don't think you are wrong at all and i would email the moderator of all
this and say you do expect a public answer, and since its already public and
she called you flakey in public, she should either prove it publicy or
apologise the same way, Lee
"Cheryl" wrote in message
...
I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. Someone
was selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that
I wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had responded so
they were going to sell it to me. I can't make it over to that side of
town until late in the week. Confirmed with the person (who happens to be
the husband of one of the freecycle moderators) and he said "Thursday is
fine".

An hour later the other moderator of freecycle replied to the same group
that she would buy the netbook, mentioning too many kids, not enough
computers. When I saw that, I privately emailed the seller saying he
could sell to the other person because they had a bigger need than me.

An hour after that, the wife of the person selling the netbook (the
freecycle moderator) publically wrote (accidentally of course) that her
husband promised it to someone else who couldn't come until Thursday, but
that person sounded flaky and she'd let the other person know after that
if it was still available. Me of course being the one who "sounded"
flaky. She tried to recall the message twice in an hour and it didn't
recall, so I wrote to the group that I was the flaky one and felt she owed
me an apology for saying that.

The moderator of the "sister" group then stepped in saying none of it
belonged in public, and OF COURSE it didn't, but if I'm called flaky I
have the right to defend myself because those reading probably wouldn't
ever let me have something in freecycle if I wanted it because I'm flaky
and probably wouldn't show up. I've NEVER been a no show. This woman had
nothing to base her judgment of me being flaky on.

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. I just want a public apology. Is that wrong?

On 4/10/2010 2:35 PM, Sherry wrote:
On Oct 3, 7:56 pm, wrote:
I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. Someone was
selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that I
wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had responded so they
were going to sell it to me. I can't make it over to that side of town
until late in the week. Confirmed with the person (who happens to be the
husband of one of the freecycle moderators) and he said "Thursday is fine".

An hour later the other moderator of freecycle replied to the same group
that she would buy the netbook, mentioning too many kids, not enough
computers. When I saw that, I privately emailed the seller saying he could
sell to the other person because they had a bigger need than me.

An hour after that, the wife of the person selling the netbook (the
freecycle moderator) publically wrote (accidentally of course) that her
husband promised it to someone else who couldn't come until Thursday, but
that person sounded flaky and she'd let the other person know after that if
it was still available. Me of course being the one who "sounded" flaky.
She tried to recall the message twice in an hour and it didn't recall, so I
wrote to the group that I was the flaky one and felt she owed me an apology
for saying that.

The moderator of the "sister" group then stepped in saying none of it
belonged in public, and OF COURSE it didn't, but if I'm called flaky I have
the right to defend myself because those reading probably wouldn't ever let
me have something in freecycle if I wanted it because I'm flaky and probably
wouldn't show up. I've NEVER been a no show. This woman had nothing to
base her judgment of me being flaky on.

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. I just want a public apology. Is that wrong?

Absolutely not. This person attacked your character on a public forum.
It was a stupid faux paus and she should have *already* apologized.
BUT...snicker....doesn't it make you feel kinda better when you
just *imagine* the kind of panic that set in when she realized what
she'd
done?
That'll-be-five-cents-Charlie-Brown analysis from my perspective
is....she's
a condescending sort who enjoyed playing out the scenario of having
the
power to refuse the transaction with you, and I guess this kind of lie
made
her shine a little instead of just telling the truth.
I love the Freecycle *idea*. Unfortunately our Freecycle *IS* just a
bunch
of flakes. I mean if I posted "OFFER: Free Headache", I'd probably get
a dozen emails for people wanting it. The same people respond to every
offer. I recently offered a 40 lb. bag of calf replacement milk and I
couldn't
believe how many people wanted it. I just contacted the first woman
who
asked. She came to pick it up and I asked her if they had baby calves.
Turns out they didn't have livestock at all. She said "But we want to
move to the country some day." (?????)
I'd rather have just given it back to the vet, and I should have.
Every
transaction I have with freecycle I swear it will be the last. But it
*is* such a good concept, if we just had a good group.

Alas, I have a similar opinion to Sherry about Freecyle.

Its probably not the place to rant about my own local freecyle, so I
won't (feel free to e-mail me if you want the rant)

However,

IMHO, you are owed a public apology, since the insult was made
publically, and she knows she screwed up because she tried to withdraw
the message. Twice.

If you don't get a public apology, write to the Freecycle headquarters.

Yowie

I think you had every right to be angry and reply to that in the same forum
to which it was posted. It bothers me more to have people go behind my
back without giving me a chance to defend myself.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See our clowder at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped/

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/


"Cheryl" wrote in message
...
I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. Someone
was selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that
I wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had responded so
they were going to sell it to me. I can't make it over to that side of
town until late in the week. Confirmed with the person (who happens to be
the husband of one of the freecycle moderators) and he said "Thursday is
fine".

An hour later the other moderator of freecycle replied to the same group
that she would buy the netbook, mentioning too many kids, not enough
computers. When I saw that, I privately emailed the seller saying he
could sell to the other person because they had a bigger need than me.

An hour after that, the wife of the person selling the netbook (the
freecycle moderator) publically wrote (accidentally of course) that her
husband promised it to someone else who couldn't come until Thursday, but
that person sounded flaky and she'd let the other person know after that
if it was still available. Me of course being the one who "sounded"
flaky. She tried to recall the message twice in an hour and it didn't
recall, so I wrote to the group that I was the flaky one and felt she owed
me an apology for saying that.

The moderator of the "sister" group then stepped in saying none of it
belonged in public, and OF COURSE it didn't, but if I'm called flaky I
have the right to defend myself because those reading probably wouldn't
ever let me have something in freecycle if I wanted it because I'm flaky
and probably wouldn't show up. I've NEVER been a no show. This woman had
nothing to base her judgment of me being flaky on.

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. I just want a public apology. Is that wrong?

"Cheryl" wrote

I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for things
not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things. Someone
was selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole group that
I wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had responded so
they

Cheryl, your group is flakey. Freecycle doesn't do 'sales' at all. Thats's
Craigslist.

"Sherry" wrote in message
...

Now the moderator is telling me what I can and can't privately email
someone. I just want a public apology. Is that wrong?

Absolutely not. This person attacked your character on a public forum.
It was a stupid faux paus and she should have *already* apologized.

Turns out she did but it was never delivered to my inbox until today. The
moderator said she posted an apology but since I didn't see it, I thought
she must have written it to the moderator. But it was public, just slow to
show up in my inbox. Well, I do have a hot head at times and that just
infuriated me when it looked like she wasn't apologizing. I still got
banned. Probably the first one other than a spammer. *sigh*.

BUT...snicker....doesn't it make you feel kinda better when you
just *imagine* the kind of panic that set in when she realized what
she'd
done?
That'll-be-five-cents-Charlie-Brown analysis from my perspective
is....she's
a condescending sort who enjoyed playing out the scenario of having
the
power to refuse the transaction with you, and I guess this kind of lie
made
her shine a little instead of just telling the truth.

Yeah, I thought of how I'd feel about that and had to laugh. It must have
been embarrassing for her, but she should have never said that without even
knowing me.

I love the Freecycle *idea*. Unfortunately our Freecycle *IS* just a
bunch
of flakes. I mean if I posted "OFFER: Free Headache", I'd probably get
a dozen emails for people wanting it. The same people respond to every
offer. I recently offered a 40 lb. bag of calf replacement milk and I
couldn't
believe how many people wanted it. I just contacted the first woman
who
asked. She came to pick it up and I asked her if they had baby calves.
Turns out they didn't have livestock at all. She said "But we want to
move to the country some day." (?????)

That doesn't even make sense!

I'd rather have just given it back to the vet, and I should have.
Every
transaction I have with freecycle I swear it will be the last. But it
*is* such a good concept, if we just had a good group.


Actually, this wasn't freecycle, but a "sister" group set up just for things
that ****ed off the moderators, like people posting about yard sales, even
if there would be free things there. It was also set up to sell things, but
one day a week, and that day is Friday, so yesterday's sale post was against
the rules.

I like Usenet more and more after seeing some of these moderated groups and
their mentality.

"cshenk" wrote in message
...
"Cheryl" wrote

I'm a member of our local freecycle group, and a "sister" group for
things not permitted in freecycle, like chit chat and selling things.
Someone was selling a netbook and I accidentally responded to the whole
group that I wanted to buy it. Got confirmation that no one else had
responded so they

Cheryl, your group is flakey. Freecycle doesn't do 'sales' at all.
Thats's Craigslist.

Not freecycle but sort of a sister group; mostly the same members, different
rules. I just mentioned that because of the fact that it's the same people,
and the one who called me flaky is one of the moderators of the freecycle
group.

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
I think you had every right to be angry and reply to that in the same
forum to which it was posted. It bothers me more to have people go
behind my back without giving me a chance to defend myself.

Seriously! I'm over it now. Banned, but over it. lol

"Judith Latham" wrote in message
...


You should have a public apology she insulted you in public. Other people
on the group saw what happened, they will know what she is.

Defend your corner but be careful that she is the loser, not you.


Well, my temper over not getting an apology took over and I got banned.
Doesn't matter if she told me an apology was sent; I didn't get it, so
figured it must have been to the moderator and not to me. Turns out she did
send one but it took the long route to my inbox and I just saw it tonight.