What Am I doing Wrong?

wrote in message
...
Sherry wrote:

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find *any* post on rpca where
unsolicited advice wasn't offered.
People just naturally hear a poster distressed about their cat, and
they want to help. Maybe
the poster doesn't want help; maybe he/she just wants to "be
heard".....but it's just human nature to try to help.

People who care about cats are going to have advice. Best avenue, IMO,
is to accept it *graciously,*
then go on and do what you feel is the best thing to do, given the
research *you've* done, and your
first-hand knowledge of the situation.
And there I go, giving unsolicited advice again.... :-)

Now, there's a sane response! I agree with this.

Often when I get upset about something, I need a period of time to
recognize the anger, upset, hurt feelings, or whatever, before I'm
ready to do something. Unfortunately, some people interpret this as
meaning that I would rather wallow in my bad feelings than try to
do anything about my problems, and this is definitely not true. It's
just that I do it in my own time, and I don't want to be rushed.
When someone gives me advice before I'm ready, I feel like they're
implying I should get off my butt and FIX it NOW, and that's very
irritating.

So usually, when I'm talking to a friend about a problem, I'll make
a point of saying that I'm not ready for advice, and that I just want
sympathy, or a place to vent, or maybe some insight/analysis if they
have any thoughts, but I'm not ready to take action yet. When I do
want advice, I ask for it, but that's usually when I'm more clear-
headed about an issue, not when I'm all upset and emotional.

--
Joyce

Yes, advice is always a sticky issue. I used to try to explain why I didn't
think the advice would work. Then I realized that this upset people or hurt
their feelings. Now I just thank them. Whether or not the advice is
helpful, most of it is given to try to be helpful.

Joy

wrote

| jmcquown wrote:
|
| I have no interest in moving to bum**** Missouri.
|
| Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously said I
could
| bring my own television set (how kind!) since you didn't have one. Oh,
and
| my furniture, too.
|
| Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100 sq. ft.
| apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also furnish your
| place. Don't think so, chickie.
|
| Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd want
to
| live next door to you is a mystery to me.
|
| Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid)
|
| Jill, what is your problem? She simply made an offer to you. You're
| not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about
| it, especially years later.
|
| I'm appalled that you would insult an entire state and all the people
| who live there.
|
| As for gardening in the nude,
| tell me how that's working out for ya? Your neighbors love you, do
they?
|
| Christ, get a life.

Joyce, you help make RPCA bearable. Thank you so much. (You too, Matthew!)

It occurred to me after my last post that JM has also bitched at me for
having tried to boost my video sales by posting about it here yet has the
temerity to suggest that I don't even own a TV. Yet I was selling videos
online and had hundreds of them at any given time, each of which had to be
tested for quality prior to being offered for sale.... Makes me wonder how
anyone can believe a word she says.

Where's -L. when I need her!?

LOL

"jmcquown" wrote in message
...
MaryL wrote:
"Pat" wrote in message
et...

"Magic Mood Jeep" wrote

I have no idea what you did wrong. If it was to **** off Pat, well,
Pat gets easily offended and it's her own fault as she comes in
here, asks for advice.... talks about building an enclosure/fence
in her back yard for her cats (one that they cannot get out of)
using an *electrified fence*... whoa.... that got some people here
going.... using an electric fence for cats (cows and horses, maybe,
but CATS????)... so she left the group.

Now she's come back seeking advice regarding health problems with
her cat - and doesn't follow the advice, and gets defensive and
upset when we question why she isn't following the advice...


Wow, what pack of lies for one post!


No, it's not a pack of lies. I wish it was just a figment of
someone's imagination, but I remember every one of the instances that
was listed, as well as a number of others. I was particularly
distressed at your insistence that it was appropriate to use electric
fencing to keep cats in your yard. I seem to recall that you even
went so far as to get the wire but didn't get it installed because
you didn't have any help. There is absolutely no reason why you
should need to accept all advice given on a newsgroup, but your
pattern -- over and over again -- was to post messages relating
incredible tales of woe, and then *never* accept any advice.

MaryL

Incredible tales of woe about sums it up.

Jill


Amen.

Pam S. who endured an entire after noon of Pat's pity party once.

"Matthew" wrote

| Lyn aka L doesn't post here but does in the other group behavior She
| posted yesterday for the first time in about a year her Mimi 18 years old
| passed away from crf

Too sad ;(

wrote in message
...
Sherry wrote:

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find *any* post on rpca where
unsolicited advice wasn't offered.
People just naturally hear a poster distressed about their cat, and
they want to help. Maybe
the poster doesn't want help; maybe he/she just wants to "be
heard".....but it's just human nature to try to help.

People who care about cats are going to have advice. Best avenue, IMO,
is to accept it *graciously,*
then go on and do what you feel is the best thing to do, given the
research *you've* done, and your
first-hand knowledge of the situation.
And there I go, giving unsolicited advice again.... :-)

Now, there's a sane response! I agree with this.

Often when I get upset about something, I need a period of time to
recognize the anger, upset, hurt feelings, or whatever, before I'm
ready to do something. Unfortunately, some people interpret this as
meaning that I would rather wallow in my bad feelings than try to
do anything about my problems, and this is definitely not true. It's
just that I do it in my own time, and I don't want to be rushed.
When someone gives me advice before I'm ready, I feel like they're
implying I should get off my butt and FIX it NOW, and that's very
irritating.

So usually, when I'm talking to a friend about a problem, I'll make
a point of saying that I'm not ready for advice, and that I just want
sympathy, or a place to vent, or maybe some insight/analysis if they
have any thoughts, but I'm not ready to take action yet. When I do
want advice, I ask for it, but that's usually when I'm more clear-
headed about an issue, not when I'm all upset and emotional.

--
Joyce

To email me, remove the triple-X from my user name. ^..^

Well, Joyce, you know you can always e-mail me
and I'm a good listener and I keep things shhhhh.
That goes for anyone who emails me, if they wanna talk about something.
I only offer advice if asked and the person can take it or leave it, it's up
to them
Hug
Kyla

Wow, you guys are actually having a disagreement without someone
posting pukey recipes? How mature.

I've posted on this group off and on for years and almost always get
ignored, Kyla, because I'm not in the inner sanctum...even though I've
been a responsible poster (and occasional flamer) on the evil rpchb
for well over a decade.

Even people who respond to me there ignore me here. I find it all
rather entertaining.

Candace

On May 16, 9:43*pm, Candace wrote:
Wow, you guys are actually having a disagreement without someone
posting pukey recipes? *How mature.

I've posted on this group off and on for years and almost always get
ignored, Kyla, because I'm not in the inner sanctum...even though I've
been a responsible poster (and occasional flamer) on the evil rpchb
for well over a decade.

Even people who respond to me there ignore me here. *I find it all
rather entertaining.

Candace

I don't ignore you!!
You just can't win. If you respond to everyone, you're frenetic. If
you don't,
you're ignoring someone. :-)

How *is* evil rpchb these days? Last time I checked, it was a
wasteland.
I didn't even recognize anyone.

BTW, you can't accuse me of posting recipes. I hate to cook.
Sherry

wrote:
jmcquown wrote:

I have no interest in moving to bum**** Missouri.

Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously
said I could bring my own television set (how kind!) since you
didn't have one. Oh, and my furniture, too.

Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100
sq. ft. apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also
furnish your place. Don't think so, chickie.

Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd
want to live next door to you is a mystery to me.

Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid)

Jill, what is your problem? She simply made an offer to you. You're
not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about
it, especially years later.

An "offer"? That I can bring my furniture and furnish her house, and oh,
gee, I can bring my television because she doesn't have one. What sort of
"offer" is that? Heh. Not much of one. She's the one who brought this
back up, BTW. "JM" heh. She's a lunatic.

Jill

jmcquown wrote:
wrote:
jmcquown wrote:

I have no interest in moving to bum**** Missouri.

Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously
said I could bring my own television set (how kind!) since you
didn't have one. Oh, and my furniture, too.

Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100
sq. ft. apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also
furnish your place. Don't think so, chickie.

Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd
want to live next door to you is a mystery to me.

Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid)

Jill, what is your problem? She simply made an offer to you. You're
not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about
it, especially years later.

An "offer"? That I can bring my furniture and furnish her house, and oh,
gee, I can bring my television because she doesn't have one. What sort of
"offer" is that? Heh. Not much of one. She's the one who brought this
back up, BTW. "JM" heh. She's a lunatic.

Jill


No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and
what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff
for free simply because she exists - what used to be called communism
and socialism is quickly becoming left-wing liberalism (i.e. democrats).

Sorry, that's don't work for me. What's mine is what DH (& I) have
worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job
and EARN IT YOURSELF.

--
^..^ This is Kitty. Copy and paste Kitty into your signature to help
her wipe out Bunny's world domination.
--
The ONE and ONLY
lefthanded-pathetic-paranoid-psychotic-sarcastic-wiseass-ditzy
former-blonde in Bloomington! (And proud of it, too)©
email me at nalee1964 (at) comcast (dot) net
http://community.webshots.com/user/mgcmdjeep

"Magic Mood Jeep ©" wrote
| jmcquown wrote:
| wrote:
| jmcquown wrote:
|
| I have no interest in moving to bum**** Missouri.
|
| Initially you suggested I move in with you and oh so graciously
| said I could bring my own television set (how kind!) since you
| didn't have one. Oh, and my furniture, too.
|
| Well gee, imagine that. I can give up my 2 bedroom, 2 bath 1100
| sq. ft. apartment and move into a room in your place AND and also
| furnish your place. Don't think so, chickie.
|
| Then you suggested I buy the house next door. Why you thought I'd
| want to live next door to you is a mystery to me.
|
| Jill (who still purrs for Abelard but thinks Pat is a freakazoid)
|
| Jill, what is your problem? She simply made an offer to you. You're
| not required to accept it, but there's no reason to be so bitchy about
| it, especially years later.
|
| An "offer"? That I can bring my furniture and furnish her house, and
oh,
| gee, I can bring my television because she doesn't have one. What sort
of
| "offer" is that? Heh. Not much of one. She's the one who brought this
| back up, BTW. "JM" heh. She's a lunatic.
|
| Jill
|
|
| No, she's just an aging hippie, that thinks what's hers is hers, and
| what's mine is hers, what's your's is hers, that she' entitled to stuff
| for free simply because she exists - what used to be called communism
| and socialism is quickly becoming left-wing liberalism (i.e. democrats).
|
| Sorry, that's don't work for me. What's mine is what DH (& I) have
| worked and paid for, and you are NOT entitled to it, so get a real job
| and EARN IT YOURSELF.

For the record, I have owned a television constantly and without
interruption since 1998. Even though I could only tune in one station
(poorly) while living on the farm, I had a growing collection of videotapes.
Because I lived so far out of town and so rarely went to town, watching
videos was the choice for evening entertainment, but since I only went to
town every 10-14 days, I could not return rented videos in a timely manner,
so I started buying used tapes at a local trading post and selling them
online when finished. Eventually I started buying tapes in bulk at auctions
and garage sales, solely to resell. I did this from 2001 until about two
years ago I quit buying tapes but continued selling off the ones I still
had.

Note, I was REQUIRED to have a television to test all the tapes. You do not
want to sell a flawed video on ebay or any other place, because you end up
losing money by having to refund the buyer who either keeps the tape or
sends it back at the seller's expense. It also destroys a seller's
reputation to sell flawed merchandise. So I tested every single tape for
quality prior to selling. My reputation as a seller is flawless because that
is how I handled my business, and it *cannot* be done without owning a
television.

As to the political accusations, they too are utter rubbish. I am about as
far as it's possible to get from socialist ideology. In fact my take on the
matter is nearly identical to the views expressed by G. Edward Griffin in
his speech "An Idea Whose Time Has Come" which can be viewed on
video.google.com (and which I highly recommend to those who may be curious
as to why, despite all the rhetoric we hear from politicians, things keep
getting worse for "we the people"). Yes, I told Jill that if she wanted to
bring furniture that was fine, because I had room for it, what few odd
pieces I had was stuff I wouldn't mind giving or throwing away. But that is
not the same as claiming her furniture as my own. I would not have expected
to keep it, nor did I expect her to furnish my house.

I continue to be flabbergasted at the intensity of the venom and the
far-fetchedness of the lies these creatures invent about me and foist upon
the RPCA community. I also feel as if for some reason unknown to and
undeserved by me, I have become the dumping ground for their seething hatred
of... I know not what.