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#41
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stupid stupid people
cybercat wrote:
"Rhonda" wrote in message ... bookie wrote: On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote: on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes wrote: Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled Bookie, so I bumped the post. Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not inclined to read her blather even when quoted. -- Lynne thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a different opinion to me about something Bookie, I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get even more mad when people choose to stop listening. I think this is fair. I've never given a crap who killfiles me, and I am frequently abrasive and judgmental. It's part of my therapy. Hmmmm, have a seat over there and tell us more... Maybe we could save you a co-pay? Rhonda |
#42
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stupid stupid people
Charlie Wilkes wrote:
On Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:52:07 +0000, Rhonda wrote: bookie wrote: On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote: on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes wrote: Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled Bookie, so I bumped the post. Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not inclined to read her blather even when quoted. -- Lynne thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a different opinion to me about something Bookie, I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get even more mad when people choose to stop listening. Rhonda Hmmm. It's true that Bookie tosses out some flame bait, with her comments about Americans, fat people, putting a burning tire around someone's neck, etc. etc. But so what??? Most of what she posts is about her cats or her comments about other people's cat issues. If people find it necessary to censor their own newsfeed because they can't tolerate her jibes, that's their business, but, as she says above, it is puerile. And it is doubly puerile because they always find it necessary to make a public announcement about it. So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from somewhere. The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind. Rhonda |
#43
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stupid stupid people
bookie wrote:
On 6 Aug, 06:52, Rhonda wrote: bookie wrote: On 3 Aug, 13:46, Lynne wrote: on Fri, 03 Aug 2007 06:53:23 GMT, Charlie Wilkes wrote: Bookie was addressing Lynne, but Lynne supposedly has killfiled Bookie, so I bumped the post. Well don't bother. I have her kill-filed for a reason, and I'm not inclined to read her blather even when quoted. -- Lynne thats really quite pathetic and puerile of you then, typical yank ignorance; I don't like what I hear so I am just going to out my hands over my ears and refuse to listen especially when other peolpe have a different opinion to me about something Bookie, I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get even more mad when people choose to stop listening. Rhonda- Hide quoted text - - Show quoted text - and cybercat is not 'abrasive'? there are some people who post here regularly who are much worse than me inthe way they present their points of view, and I don;t killfile them i jsut see through the tone and the way they have written their replies and go direct to the facts or argument they are trying to make, i don't need stuff to be sugar- coated for me to read it (in fact i don't think anyone has ever sugar coated anything for me in my entire life, maybe that is what has made me the way I am). anyway, kill file me, then you lose out, simple Bookie, the point was not to do any comparisons about who is abrasive or not. What I was trying to say is that don't be surprised and even more angered when you get killfiled. It seems like you really try to push buttons and toss out insults when that happens. Rhonda |
#44
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stupid stupid people
Lynne wrote:
on Mon, 06 Aug 2007 05:52:07 GMT, Rhonda wrote: I don't think it's the fact that you have different opinions as to why you are killfiled, I think it's how you present your opinion. If you come off as abrasive and judgmental and as not having any respect for the person you are talking to -- then that's your choice, Just don't get even more mad when people choose to stop listening. It's not even just the abrasiveness, really, it's the huge steaming piles of crap she writes. I have no time for that. What, no time for steaming piles of crap? You must be REALLY busy. Rhonda |
#45
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stupid stupid people
bookie wrote:
never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure? I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now. Here's what I found for cathartic effect: "In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren & Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194). Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)." http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf Rhonda |
#46
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stupid stupid people
On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 +0000, Rhonda wrote:
So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from somewhere. She may be genuinely frustrated with certain aspects of her life, but her comments about fat people and Americans are calculated to get a rise out of people. The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind. Yes, in fact that is what they are saying -- "shut up because I'm not listening." It's a feeble attempt to exert control over someone else. There just isn't that much volume in this group. Nor does any one person account for a disproportionate share of the volume. Filters are overkill... all people have to do is ignore whatever posts they don't want to read. But that doesn't send a message to whoever it is that annoys them, does it? Charlie |
#47
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stupid stupid people
On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 GMT, Rhonda
wrote: The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind. I always figured it was to get attention (any person, any group - making the announcement to kill-file somebody or leave the group). I have left many groups permanently, and some groups off and on, because I don't like the arguments on the group, the nastiness of some people, or the group is more off-topic than non-topic. I never make an announcement. I just leave. This is one group that I come back every now and then to see if the attitude has improved. Sometimes, I ask a question, respond to a few posts, stay awhile. Sometimes I take a look and leave without even posting. Some groups, I have never gone back to. A couple weeks ago, I ditched a mailing list because the moderator was cancelling posts that were ontopic and polite,but disagreed with his opinion. In my case, he didn't like the lights I was using for photography, and emailed me to tell me to remove my statement about them (that they worked well).We were already discussing the topic of lights and what worked well for each of us. If he disliked my lights, he could have argued it on the list. But he blocked my post because he thought i was wrong. I simply replied that I could not alter my post. I waited a few days to see if he would let it go through, and then I unsubcribed. Who knows how many other valid discussions were quashed by his need to be right. I can tell you that my opinions are certain topics have done a full turnaround from my early postings 15 years ago. But I didn't change my opinion when people were calling me names and being rude to me. I changed my beliefs later when I was doing research and learned the truth. If people want to make a difference, educating people works a lot better than yelling and screaming. As it is, I usally figure the other person knows they've lost when they get to the point of name calling and off topic insults. Why? Because they aren't arguing the actual topic. They ran out of valid points and got personal. |
#48
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stupid stupid people
On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:52:34 +0000, Rhonda wrote:
bookie wrote: never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure? I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now. Here's what I found for cathartic effect: "In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren & Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194). Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)." http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf Rhonda This particular brand of pop psychology had its heyday in the 1970s, promoted by cranks like Arthur Janov (primal therapy) and J.L. Moreno (psychodrama). It's not unlike the "Alpha dog" theory, which has been debunked by research, but you'll never convince the people who cling to it because it justifies their desire to bully a dumb animal. Likewise anger junkies cling to catharsis theory as a way to justify their tantrums and tirades. Charlie |
#49
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stupid stupid people
On 7 Aug, 05:52, Rhonda wrote:
bookie wrote: never heard of the cathartic effect? talking cure? I had to look that up! Google has a search for scholarly articles now. Here's what I found for cathartic effect: "In general, empirical findings have been inconsistent with the catharsis hypothesis (see reviews by Geen & Quanty, 1977, and Warren & Kurlycheck, 1981). Tavris (1988) concluded that "it is time to put a bullet, once and for all, through heart of the catharsis hypothesis. The belief that observing violence (or 'ventilating it') gets rid of hostilities has virtually never been supported by research" (p. 194). Because activities considered to be cathartic also are aggressive, they could lead to the activation of other aggressive thoughts, emotions, and behavioral tendencies which in turn could lead to greater anger and aggression (Berkowitz, 1984; Tice & Baumeister, 1993)." http://www.apa.org/journals/features/psp763367.pdf Rhonda look up 'freud' and the talking cure |
#50
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stupid stupid people
On 7 Aug, 06:53, Charlie Wilkes
wrote: On Tue, 07 Aug 2007 04:18:54 +0000, Rhonda wrote: So you think the judgmental comments she tosses out about groups of people (Americans, children, etc.) are flame bait? I was thinking it was more genuine anger -- maybe misdirected, but still coming from somewhere. She may be genuinely frustrated with certain aspects of her life, but her comments about fat people and Americans are calculated to get a rise out of people. finally someone works it out! and the thing is it can be so easy to do with some of you, and the more you rise to the bait the more i do it The PA's about killfiling do seem to be a touchy subject with some. It doesn't strike me one way or another if someone announces it. I always thought they were telling the intendee to stop shouting into the wind. Yes, in fact that is what they are saying -- "shut up because I'm not listening." It's a feeble attempt to exert control over someone else. There just isn't that much volume in this group. Nor does any one person account for a disproportionate share of the volume. Filters are overkill... all people have to do is ignore whatever posts they don't want to read. exactly But that doesn't send a message to whoever it is that annoys them, does it? that's true, i don't get the message that i am pushing someone's buttons Charlie |
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