[OT] Pre-pregnant? I think I'm gonna pre-puke

Yowie wrote:

It isn' perfect, and can be infuriating sometimes
(like a woman on medicare only pays nothing to give birth in hospital, a
woman with health insurance can pay $1000 out of her own pocket to have a
baby in the same hospital with the same doctor in attendance) but its not
half as bad as the US system, where it seems tha peole below a certain
income never see a doctor, dentist or optometrist at all.



Actually it is the middle group here that has a rough time of it. If
you are poor and have children, you get free medical from Medicaid. If
you have a health plan that covers most if not all needs, you pay the
premium. If you fall between those two extremes, you are screwed. Mike
still owes about a thousand dollar ER bill from the van accident. Rob
was covered by our military insurance, Mike was not because he was over
21 and not in college at the time. Now he's in college and they still
won't cover him, even though he's under the 24 year old cut off age.

Pam S.

jmcquown wrote:

Karen wrote:


I don't think anyone objects to taking supplements. It's the idea that
you are looked at as a potential baby machine only and treated from
that direction. Viewed from that aspect. The total sum of any woman is
not as a baby maker and to be so pointed about it as this article is,
and to say it's been discussed for 20 years, makes one feel rather
like a cow.


Exactly! I'll gladly take supplements, in fact I take multi-vitamins every
day and never noticed whether or not they contain folic acid or not. But I
don't want to be made to feel like a potential milk cow. 'cause that ain't
gonna happen.



I still think it's funny that a husband used to have to "give
permission" for a woman to have her tubes tied. Even now, they don't
want to do it until one is in their late twenties or early thirties or
has had at least two children. Mandy's best friend is a juvenile
diabetic and severely thin. She has been told that having a baby would
be like signing her death sentence and that of the baby. But they won't
tie her tubes, as she may want to have a baby.

Pam S.

badwilson wrote:


They know that because they ask me when we are having kids and I always
say "never". This usually causes a bit of questioning in which I
explain that neither me or Dennis has ever wanted kids and so we are not
having any. This seems to be an unacceptable answer to the general
public, especially the ones that *do* have kids. All sorts of options
are explained where I could delay motherhood until the last possible
moment, but end up doing "the right thing" and have kids anyway. Ugh.

I got asked once when I was going to have another kid, after giving
birth to Mandy and having an hysterectomy. I got irked and said that
I'd have another baby when the person stopped being stupid.

Pam S.

wrote:
badwilson wrote:

Aaargh, shut up already, how old do I have to be before I
stop getting comments like this?!?! Surely by the time I'm 50, it
will be too late to have kids and I won't get these rude comments
anymore??? I can't wait for the day...

When you flash your bottle of hormone-replacement therapy at them,
that will finally shut them up.

Of course, if you aren't taking HRT (I'm not), you might have to get
more creative. You could always be very dramatic about periodically
wiping off your forehead with a hanky and taking out the personal fan.

Oh yes, I can flutter a fan as well as Scarlett O'Hara! Why ma'am, what a
*forward* question!

For now, though, I guess you have to try to tune it out. sigh

It's just unconscionable. Don't they realize what they are saying?! It's
rude and none of their business, either. You could (as someone else pointed
out) be trying to conceive and aren't able to. The choice of reproduction
or not is simply rude to condemn. Have you ever had someone walk up and ask
if you've had an orgasm? Doubtful... but they sure don't mind asking why
you haven't given birth. Morons

I find that response (ie, "you'll change your mind") soooooo
patronizing! I knew at 15 that I didn't want kids, and I never changed
my mind. Lots of women don't want kids. Just because as a species we
evolved to want to reproduce, that doesn't mean that the tendency is
going to work the same way in every individual person. We're different
in every other imaginable way, so why not for this?

Sometimes I tell people I have a "cat orientation". Babies don't
make my oxytocin flow, but kitties do! What can I do, it's just how
I'm wired!

Joyce

W. Leong wrote:


They probably will ask you why you didn't have kids when you were younger.
Or something along the line you must be too busy with your career to have
kids.

New accquitnaces are surprised I have no kids at my age.
When they found out I am single, they ask why I am not married.
They said I must be too picky etc etc.
Why do I have to explain my singlehood?
Do married couples got asked why they are married to their spouses?



I'd probably tell them I was waiting for their spouse to come along, and
you don't mind if I have him/her, do you?

If I wanted to be polite, I think I'd say that I was holding out for a
person from a certain country with certain traits etc.

Pam S. who has a warped sense of humor

Cheryl Perkins wrote:


Do married couples got asked why they are married to their spouses?


Probably. People certainly will gossip behind their backs 'So-and-so is
such a nice person. I can't understand why s/he ever married that loser!'


When we were stationed at Ft Bliss in El Paso Texas, people in Rob's
unit first wondered why he married me. Then after they got to know Rob
and his sense of humor they wondered why I married him. I told one of
them that it was because Rob makes me laugh.

Pam S. with shades of Roger Rabbit

badwilson wrote:
wrote:
badwilson wrote:

Aaargh, shut up already, how old do I have to be before I
stop getting comments like this?!?! Surely by the time I'm 50, it
will be too late to have kids and I won't get these rude comments
anymore??? I can't wait for the day...

When you flash your bottle of hormone-replacement therapy at them,
that will finally shut them up.

Of course, if you aren't taking HRT (I'm not), you might have to get
more creative. You could always be very dramatic about periodically
wiping off your forehead with a hanky and taking out the personal
fan.

For now, though, I guess you have to try to tune it out. sigh

I find that response (ie, "you'll change your mind") soooooo
patronizing! I knew at 15 that I didn't want kids, and I never
changed my mind. Lots of women don't want kids. Just because as a
species we evolved to want to reproduce, that doesn't mean that the
tendency is going to work the same way in every individual person.
We're different in every other imaginable way, so why not for this?

Sometimes I tell people I have a "cat orientation". Babies don't
make my oxytocin flow, but kitties do! What can I do, it's just how
I'm wired!

Joyce

Yeah, I tell people I have a baby. He's peachy, furry and purry. I
plan on having more too!

Persia isn't "peachy", she's grey, but she talks, you betcha! And she
snuggles next to me at night. I don't have to take her to school but she
talks. I can't take out the milk carton without her saying something about
it. MEOWMA! MRKKK!

Jill --- whose cat *loves* milk

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:

On 2006-05-28, penned:

I find that response (ie, "you'll change your mind") soooooo
patronizing! I knew at 15 that I didn't want kids, and I never
changed my mind. Lots of women don't want kids. Just because as a
species we evolved to want to reproduce, that doesn't mean that the
tendency is going to work the same way in every individual person.
We're different in every other imaginable way, so why not for this?


What I don't understand is the people who, when you say you don't want
kids, say there's something wrong with you and that they're the best
thing in the world.

Why, why, why, if there's something wrong with me, would you want me
to be responsible for children? This I don't get.

This is why I suspect that in fact, "breeders" are simply jealous of
all the free time and money that DINKs and SINKs have, and want to fix
that situation =P


LOL, as an ex-breeder (aka Crone), I think that some of them want an
affirmation that they did the right thing by having kids. I used to get
strange remarks about my single status (Rob and I married when I was 27)
single parenthood (remarks about immaculate conception) and then choice
of partner (Rob's personality is not for everyone).

I admire those who want kids and have them. I also admire those who
don't want kids and have the courage not to have them. There is still
enough of the breeder in me to want to adopt orphans, even though I'd
also like to be an empty nester. Can you spell confused? I knew you could.

Pam S.

Monique Y. Mudama wrote:



And besides which, it's a ridiculously selfish reason to have kids!
I'd say, if your reason for having kids is to have someone to care
from you when you're older, you're too selfish to have kids!


If your reason to have kids is to take care of you when you're older,
you'd be better off investing in an assisted care plan. We joke about
this sort of thing with our crew and they love to tell us about their
version of "Shady Acres" where the straw on the floor is changed every
month.

Pam S.

W. Leong wrote:


Another change in Ontario is no routeine eye check-up is covered unless you
are 65
or over. So if I don't go for my eye checkups until I am 65, I can develop
all kinds
of eye problems such as catracts without knowing it until it is too late.
So again I am going to bite the bullet and pay for it myself. My eyes are
worth
the ~ $80 checkup fee. That means I have to watch my , and Rusty's,
expenses
very carefully.


WOW, it's over $100 here and that's at the WalMart clinic. Rob is
covered through the military the kids and I are not.

Pam S.