This is the hardest post I have ever had to write

I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't
yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it
has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that
breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last
night. But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my
RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a
very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which
is causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

Ginger-lyn

Ginger-lyn, I have no idea what led up to this and wouldnt normally reply
but you seem to need help. What was supposed to happen with the garden?

"Ginger-lyn" wrote in message
...
I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't yet
know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it has
probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that breaks
my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched. I
could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last night.
But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I did
not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my RN
friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a very bad
reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which is causing
bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is young and
inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last thing I would
ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so sorry this
happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in time, I may
regain your trust again.

And on top of that you're having many many issues that basically form the
foundation of what you can give everyone else in your charge. Hellava load
to bear.

Ginger-lyn

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my
RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a
very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which
is causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

Ginger-lyn

Ginger-lyn, I could maybe understand feeling guilty if you deliberately
misled people, but you didn't. You're under extreme stress and horrible
emotional strain; being in the midst of adjusting your meds just makes
it even more understandable that you could experience this.

Sometimes even minor things can cause hallucinations. I've been amazed
by the things I have misseen.

You have not done anything wrong.

Dan

On Dec 30, 9:27 pm, Ginger-lyn wrote:
I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't
yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it
has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that
breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last
night. But there it was.

You had a nightmare, a waking nightmare. Now you see the garden as it
is and the beauty that will be is not damaged. This is a cause for
rejoicing.


Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

You said what you thought to be true, and that is not a lie. That
things are better than you thought is a good thing. A bit seasonal,
like the lovely tale of the babe in the major or the other one about
one day's worth of oil burning for eight days.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my
RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a
very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which
is causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

I don't know about others but I will always trust you to say what you
believe to be true. No one can do more than that because no one is
always correct.

--
Will in New Haven

Ginger Lyn, I missed what you are talking about but I know this, in process
of adjusting meds stuff can happen. You have no need to feel as you are
now. This isn't something you did to hurt or harm. Try to relax, breath
deeply and know that we understand that things happen. Continue seeing
those who can help you and love yourself as we all do.
"Cheryl" wrote in message
...
Ginger-lyn, I have no idea what led up to this and wouldnt normally reply
but you seem to need help. What was supposed to happen with the garden?

"Ginger-lyn" wrote in message
...
I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't yet
know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it has
probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that breaks
my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last night.
But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my RN
friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a very
bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which is
causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

And on top of that you're having many many issues that basically form the
foundation of what you can give everyone else in your charge. Hellava
load to bear.

Ginger-lyn

Ginger-lyn wrote:

I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't
yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it
has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that
breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last
night. But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

Ginger-lyn, I think you're going overboard beating yourself up over this.
It was just a mistake, that's all. I don't trust you any less because of
that! I'm just happy to hear that your garden is intact - that's great news!

I'm not surprised that you "saw" what you saw. First, it was dark out.
Secondly, didn't your landlord once threaten to destroy your garden? So
maybe on some level, you were expecting to see it destroyed, even if you
weren't conscious of it. It's amazing how easily we see what we're
expecting to see, regardless of what is actually there.

And if you were having a bad reaction to one of your meds, that might
have made you even more susceptible to either a hallucination, or just
misinterpreting what you saw. Throw in a little stress and it's easy
to understand why you saw something different from what was there.

The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

Wow, I can't imagine why any of that would be necessary. There's nothing
to forgive! You just had a weird experience. Seriously, nothing to worry
about here.

--
Joyce ^..^

(To email me, remove the X's from my user name.)

On Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:27:56 -0500, Ginger-lyn
wrote:

I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't
yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it
has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that
breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last
night. But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my
RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a
very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which
is causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

(((((((((((Ginger-Lyn))))))))))))

Don't beat yourself up just because you're having problems with your
medication piled on top a the stress of the holidays along with the
anniversary of a terrible experience. You haven't lost any of my trust
and as far as I'm concerned you have no reason to be ashamed or
humiliated. I'm just glad that you still have your garden to enjoy,
and that you now know about the possible medical problem and can get
it looked after. Purrs that the medication issue is resolved without
any further complications.
--
Steve Touchstone
Little Bit, Sammy, Spotty, Princess, Furby
and Rocky (RB)
Pix at http://tinyurl.com/22pfn8
Vids at http://tinyurl.com/4yb6nj

On Tue, 30 Dec 2008 22:25:53 -0600, Steve Touchstone wrote:

On Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:27:56 -0500, Ginger-lyn
wrote:

I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't
yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it
has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that
breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched.
I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last
night. But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I
did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my
RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a
very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which
is causing bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is
young and inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last
thing I would ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so
sorry this happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in
time, I may regain your trust again.

(((((((((((Ginger-Lyn))))))))))))

Don't beat yourself up just because you're having problems with your
medication piled on top a the stress of the holidays along with the
anniversary of a terrible experience. You haven't lost any of my trust
and as far as I'm concerned you have no reason to be ashamed or
humiliated. I'm just glad that you still have your garden to enjoy, and
that you now know about the possible medical problem and can get it
looked after. Purrs that the medication issue is resolved without any
further complications.

Stress and fatigue can also cause hallucinations, even without help from
medicine mix-ups. Plus, everyone has had the experience of seeing
something strange out of the corner of an eye, then getting a better look
and finding that their brain had jumped to the wrong conclusion based on
partial information. Don't worry about it.

--
John F. Eldredge --
PGP key available from http://pgp.mit.edu
"Reserve your right to think, for even to think wrongly is better
than not to think at all." -- Hypatia of Alexandria

"Ginger-lyn" wrote in message
...
I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I
don't yet know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it
did and it has probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you
had, and that breaks my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there,
untouched. I could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone
just last night. But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination.
I did not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to
my RN friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1)
had a very bad reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am
overmedicated, which is causing bad reactions like tremors and
hallucinations. The doctor is young and inexperienced, and things
got messed up somehow. The last thing I would ever want to do is
hurt any of you in any way, and I am so sorry this happened. I
hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in time, I may regain
your trust again.

Ginger-lyn

I know this post was hard for you to write.

But you did write it. That is to me amazing. Give yourself a few
well deserved points for facing up to things when and how you can.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time right now.

I have just a hint of how hard it might be. I've had some horrible,
very real seeming dreams. Quite a few lately. I'm grateful to wake
up and know for absolute certain they are only just dreams. And
wonder what it might be like to wake up and not be quite so sure.

Love and hugs, and some virtual purrs to go with the very real ones
you are getting at home.

Jo

Ginger you are family there is nothing to forgive WE all still love you
;-)
"Ginger-lyn" wrote in message
...
I am ashamed, humiliated, and feel that I have let you all down.

The week from the 23rd of December until today was horrible. I don't yet
know what happened, nor how, nor why; I just know that it did and it has
probably led to the loss of trust in me some of you had, and that breaks
my heart more than anything.

I went out in the daylight today. The garden is still there, untouched. I
could not understand it, as I had seen it totally gone just last night.
But there it was.

Please, please forgive me for what was apparently an hallucination. I did
not mean to mislead you, and I am ashamed that I did so.

I have talked to a number of people today, from my psychologist, to my RN
friend, my pharmacist and others. All believe I either (1) had a very bad
reaction to one of my meds, and/or (2) am overmedicated, which is causing
bad reactions like tremors and hallucinations. The doctor is young and
inexperienced, and things got messed up somehow. The last thing I would
ever want to do is hurt any of you in any way, and I am so sorry this
happened. I hope, in time, you may forgive me; I hope, in time, I may
regain your trust again.

Ginger-lyn