Unfriendly Kitty :(

Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month.
When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and
sit in my lap. That lasted about a week. Now he's completely
stand-offish, and runs and hides whenever I approach. If I ever do
get to pick him up, he squirms away, not wanting to be held.

His aloofness seems to have coincided with when he got to be chums
with our 4 year old cat, who's pretty aloof himself. They've bonded
(the kitten even tries to nurse from him!) and wrestle a lot. I'm
wondering if the kitty has picked up his antisocial behavior from our
older cat.

So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:

Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month.
When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and
sit in my lap. That lasted about a week. Now he's completely
stand-offish, and runs and hides whenever I approach. If I ever do
get to pick him up, he squirms away, not wanting to be held.

His aloofness seems to have coincided with when he got to be chums
with our 4 year old cat, who's pretty aloof himself. They've bonded
(the kitten even tries to nurse from him!) and wrestle a lot. I'm
wondering if the kitty has picked up his antisocial behavior from our
older cat.

So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen

in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:

Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month.
When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and
sit in my lap. That lasted about a week. Now he's completely
stand-offish, and runs and hides whenever I approach. If I ever do
get to pick him up, he squirms away, not wanting to be held.

His aloofness seems to have coincided with when he got to be chums
with our 4 year old cat, who's pretty aloof himself. They've bonded
(the kitten even tries to nurse from him!) and wrestle a lot. I'm
wondering if the kitty has picked up his antisocial behavior from our
older cat.

So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen

in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:

Our new kitty is about 12 weeks old now. We've had him about a month.
When we first got him, he was sweet and loveable and would come and
sit in my lap. That lasted about a week. Now he's completely
stand-offish, and runs and hides whenever I approach. If I ever do
get to pick him up, he squirms away, not wanting to be held.

His aloofness seems to have coincided with when he got to be chums
with our 4 year old cat, who's pretty aloof himself. They've bonded
(the kitten even tries to nurse from him!) and wrestle a lot. I'm
wondering if the kitty has picked up his antisocial behavior from our
older cat.

So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen

In article ,
enlightened us with...
in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:


So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen


I agree, and I'd also try to engage him in some play with one of those
"interactive toys" (really just a pole with some streamers or feathers
on it *g*) so he can play with you and have time with you without having
to be touched if he doesn't want to be.
My furkids all go crazy for this cheap toy I got at the pet store. It's
like a kid's toy fishing pole with a fuzzy ball attached by a thick
string. Fishing for kitties. *LOL* They know where I keep it and when I
go to get it, they all come running no matter what they were doing.

The more you try to pet him and/or pick him up when he isn't in the
mood, the more he'll go away when he sees you. He needs to initiate pet
time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's
left wanting more.


--
--
~kaeli~
Murphy's Law #2030: If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that you tried.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

In article ,
enlightened us with...
in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:


So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen


I agree, and I'd also try to engage him in some play with one of those
"interactive toys" (really just a pole with some streamers or feathers
on it *g*) so he can play with you and have time with you without having
to be touched if he doesn't want to be.
My furkids all go crazy for this cheap toy I got at the pet store. It's
like a kid's toy fishing pole with a fuzzy ball attached by a thick
string. Fishing for kitties. *LOL* They know where I keep it and when I
go to get it, they all come running no matter what they were doing.

The more you try to pet him and/or pick him up when he isn't in the
mood, the more he'll go away when he sees you. He needs to initiate pet
time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's
left wanting more.


--
--
~kaeli~
Murphy's Law #2030: If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that you tried.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

In article ,
enlightened us with...
in article , Fleemo at
wrote on 6/17/04 3:07 PM:


So what should I expect? Might the kitty grow out of this "phase" or
is this a clear indiciation of what his personality is gonna be? His
disregard for human companionship and the fact that he does not cover
his poop or pee does not leave me with a warm and fuzzy feeling about
our new pet. :\

-Fleemo

He's being a preteen. Give him space. Sit near him. Be happy when he does
want pets. My cats go through big cycles of wanting attention/lap time and
times of just sitting near. You will find all kinds of cycles, especially in
your very young cats life. They really do have stages just like human
preteen/teens/young adult etc.

Karen


I agree, and I'd also try to engage him in some play with one of those
"interactive toys" (really just a pole with some streamers or feathers
on it *g*) so he can play with you and have time with you without having
to be touched if he doesn't want to be.
My furkids all go crazy for this cheap toy I got at the pet store. It's
like a kid's toy fishing pole with a fuzzy ball attached by a thick
string. Fishing for kitties. *LOL* They know where I keep it and when I
go to get it, they all come running no matter what they were doing.

The more you try to pet him and/or pick him up when he isn't in the
mood, the more he'll go away when he sees you. He needs to initiate pet
time. And you need to stop petting him before he's sick of it so he's
left wanting more.


--
--
~kaeli~
Murphy's Law #2030: If at first you don't succeed, destroy
all evidence that you tried.
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/wildAtHeart
http://www.ipwebdesign.net/kaelisSpace

Well, my two girls (I call them that because I am the one that hangs out in
this news group) were pretty much as much my cats as they were my wife's
when we first got them. It took several months, but eventually they really
became my wife's cats. They don't act like they want to give me even the
smallest amount of attention. If they are on the divan and I sit there,
they both move. If they are laying on the floor and I lay down a few feet
from them, they move. They never lay on my side of the bed at night, but
always with my wfie between us. I am allowed to pet them when they are
laying in certain areas which we call "cat safe zones". They sometimes
won't even eat food that I put down unless my wife leads them to the cat
food bowls to indicate her approval of whatever I have fed them.

Conversly, they follow my wife around the house like she had catnip stuffed
in her shoes, she is expected to pick them up often, and they will lay with
her anywhere.

When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable towards me,
but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her car pulls into the
driveway they begin acting like I had a had an axe hidden in my shirt.

My wife says that they have assumed a "pride" social structure, and since I
am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do exist in their world.

We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they head for
under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this way, but some they
accept immediatly and grace the visitor with affection.

I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me!

BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since my wife
taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed to go the extra mile
and teach them to cover it up.

Allen

Well, my two girls (I call them that because I am the one that hangs out in
this news group) were pretty much as much my cats as they were my wife's
when we first got them. It took several months, but eventually they really
became my wife's cats. They don't act like they want to give me even the
smallest amount of attention. If they are on the divan and I sit there,
they both move. If they are laying on the floor and I lay down a few feet
from them, they move. They never lay on my side of the bed at night, but
always with my wfie between us. I am allowed to pet them when they are
laying in certain areas which we call "cat safe zones". They sometimes
won't even eat food that I put down unless my wife leads them to the cat
food bowls to indicate her approval of whatever I have fed them.

Conversly, they follow my wife around the house like she had catnip stuffed
in her shoes, she is expected to pick them up often, and they will lay with
her anywhere.

When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable towards me,
but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her car pulls into the
driveway they begin acting like I had a had an axe hidden in my shirt.

My wife says that they have assumed a "pride" social structure, and since I
am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do exist in their world.

We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they head for
under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this way, but some they
accept immediatly and grace the visitor with affection.

I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me!

BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since my wife
taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed to go the extra mile
and teach them to cover it up.

Allen

Well, my two girls (I call them that because I am the one that hangs out in
this news group) were pretty much as much my cats as they were my wife's
when we first got them. It took several months, but eventually they really
became my wife's cats. They don't act like they want to give me even the
smallest amount of attention. If they are on the divan and I sit there,
they both move. If they are laying on the floor and I lay down a few feet
from them, they move. They never lay on my side of the bed at night, but
always with my wfie between us. I am allowed to pet them when they are
laying in certain areas which we call "cat safe zones". They sometimes
won't even eat food that I put down unless my wife leads them to the cat
food bowls to indicate her approval of whatever I have fed them.

Conversly, they follow my wife around the house like she had catnip stuffed
in her shoes, she is expected to pick them up often, and they will lay with
her anywhere.

When my wife is out of the house, they are somewhat more amiable towards me,
but never as if I was her equal, and as soon as her car pulls into the
driveway they begin acting like I had a had an axe hidden in my shirt.

My wife says that they have assumed a "pride" social structure, and since I
am a male I am not their equal, but at least I do exist in their world.

We have no children in our home, and if one comes to visit they head for
under the bed. Likewise, they treat most adults this way, but some they
accept immediatly and grace the visitor with affection.

I think they are just arrogant butheads that enjoy teasing me!

BTW, they do not cover up the liter deposits either, but since my wife
taught them to use the liter box, I believe she failed to go the extra mile
and teach them to cover it up.

Allen