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#1
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Selective Cat
I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She
enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The female however, well, an example... My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really causing a rif in our home! Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH |
#2
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It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do. I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them? You do realize that cats do not learn from punishment. As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my female won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit more aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I just let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in her own way. |
#3
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It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have
been "punished" but they always do. I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them? You do realize that cats do not learn from punishment. As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my female won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit more aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I just let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in her own way. |
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#5
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#6
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"The Mrs" wrote in message om... | I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She | enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not | fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her | brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for | the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The | female however, well, an example... | My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't | want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he | didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite | him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her | when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will | even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her | path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and | tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not Why would your husband pick up a cat that does not particularly want to be picked up by him? He needs to tune into the cat. A cat is not a teddy bear. I am reading up on clicker training for cats. He might want to start educating himself on cats. If you can teach a cat a trick, chances are you are learning how to understand another creature. He can use treats as a way to help things out. Males appear to want to pick up cats that don't want to be picked up. The cats then are really fearful of the males. The cat is only a 10 pound animal and this 175 pound animal keep manhandling the cat. From the cat's point of view, your husband is way out of line. It is not obvious to your husband, or perhaps to any of you, why a cat will suddenly turn and be aggressive but something has spooked the cat. Be it a smell or a memory, they just will do that. The cat will see something and freak out and you can't determine that. My own cat once for no reason, or so it seemed, reared up and smacked me on the nose when I was holding her and bringing her home. It took me months to figure it all out. What had happened was she had caught sight or smell of an invading cat and just wanted to be safe back inside. It never happened again but it taught me that they have instinctive responses that cannot be over-ridden and they simply cannot be treated as inanimate rag-dolls. In other words, leave the cat alone or try to tune into the cat with tricks and treats but don't pick up a cat that is giving signs of fear and avoidance. |
#7
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"The Mrs" wrote in message om... | I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She | enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not | fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her | brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for | the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The | female however, well, an example... | My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't | want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he | didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite | him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her | when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will | even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her | path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and | tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not Why would your husband pick up a cat that does not particularly want to be picked up by him? He needs to tune into the cat. A cat is not a teddy bear. I am reading up on clicker training for cats. He might want to start educating himself on cats. If you can teach a cat a trick, chances are you are learning how to understand another creature. He can use treats as a way to help things out. Males appear to want to pick up cats that don't want to be picked up. The cats then are really fearful of the males. The cat is only a 10 pound animal and this 175 pound animal keep manhandling the cat. From the cat's point of view, your husband is way out of line. It is not obvious to your husband, or perhaps to any of you, why a cat will suddenly turn and be aggressive but something has spooked the cat. Be it a smell or a memory, they just will do that. The cat will see something and freak out and you can't determine that. My own cat once for no reason, or so it seemed, reared up and smacked me on the nose when I was holding her and bringing her home. It took me months to figure it all out. What had happened was she had caught sight or smell of an invading cat and just wanted to be safe back inside. It never happened again but it taught me that they have instinctive responses that cannot be over-ridden and they simply cannot be treated as inanimate rag-dolls. In other words, leave the cat alone or try to tune into the cat with tricks and treats but don't pick up a cat that is giving signs of fear and avoidance. |
#8
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It sounds to me that your husband and yourself need to exercise a little
patience here. Don't force yourselves on the cats and allow them to come to you. You might also have your husband share in the duties of caring and feeding the cats. You never said whether or not your husband likes cats. If he doesn't then they can tell that and will resist. I would also look into medical reasons as to why your cat might be acting this way. Some cats when they have serious medical issues will lash out at humans. -- Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs! www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time! www.catgalaxymedia.com "The Mrs" wrote in message om... I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The female however, well, an example... My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really causing a rif in our home! Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH |
#9
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It sounds to me that your husband and yourself need to exercise a little
patience here. Don't force yourselves on the cats and allow them to come to you. You might also have your husband share in the duties of caring and feeding the cats. You never said whether or not your husband likes cats. If he doesn't then they can tell that and will resist. I would also look into medical reasons as to why your cat might be acting this way. Some cats when they have serious medical issues will lash out at humans. -- Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs! www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time! www.catgalaxymedia.com "The Mrs" wrote in message om... I have a female calico that hates my husband! She loves me. She enjoys cuddling with me and my oldest daughter. However, she is not fond of my youngest and hates my husband. We adopted her and her brother as kittens. They were from a feral mom. The male is fine for the most part. He is choosy too but only about when he is held. The female however, well, an example... My husband went over and picked her up. She decided that she didn't want to be held and started hissing and growling at him. When he didn't let her down fast enough she started clawing and trying to bite him. She hasn't always been like this and she will let him pet her when she is "sleeping" so long as he doesn't lift her up. She will even go out of her way - sometimes destroying whatever might be in her path, to avoid him! I don't understand. He gives them treats and tries to be nice. For the most part, I am the disciplinarian -not him. It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have been "punished" but they always do. Can anyone explain why this is happening and perhaps suggest a solution? Sunday was the 3rd time she really went after him and he is ready to get rid of her and I have to agree - unless we can find a solution. The girls and I want to keep her but I don't see how we can if we can't trust her. It is really causing a rif in our home! Sad & Depressed Mrs in OH |
#10
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I agree. Cats do not react well to punishment especially when they are
acting the way they should. -- Panther TEK: Staying On Top Of All Your Computer Needs! www.members.cox.net/catprotector/panthertek Cat Galaxy: All Cats, All The Time! www.catgalaxymedia.com "GovtLawyer" wrote in message ... It can take a day or so for them to come around after they have been "punished" but they always do. I'm curious. What are you punishing them for, and how do you punish them? You do realize that cats do not learn from punishment. As far as their relationship with your husband, my cats love me, but my female won't let me pick her up. Sometimes when she is sleeping I can get a bit more aggressive with her, but when she realizes it, she struggles. In short, I just let her be and not try to impose my will on her. She shows affection in her own way. |
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