Horse sense (OT)(Long)

My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets
a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.

Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous.

Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize
that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So
she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run
by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
fall asleep on his feet.

I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and
drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.

Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither
she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a
straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge
almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.

That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her
knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she
tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.

ROFL. Years ago, after a lot of practice, this big-city critter learned and
to this day can crack a bullwhip (dunno what a horsewhip is) like Lash Larue
(remember him?...well, probably not.....try Zorro). What your DW needs is
practice.


"David Yehudah" wrote in message
...
: My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.
:
: Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
: exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets
: a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
: Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
: as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.
:
: Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
: real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
: gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
: paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
: both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous.
:
: Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
: want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize
: that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So
: she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run
: by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
: responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
: plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
: fall asleep on his feet.
:
: I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and
: drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.
:
: Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
: the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
: here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
: shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither
: she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.
:
: And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
: piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a
: straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge
: almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.
:
: That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her
: knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she
: tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.
:

ROFL. Years ago, after a lot of practice, this big-city critter learned and
to this day can crack a bullwhip (dunno what a horsewhip is) like Lash Larue
(remember him?...well, probably not.....try Zorro). What your DW needs is
practice.


"David Yehudah" wrote in message
...
: My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.
:
: Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
: exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets
: a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
: Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
: as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.
:
: Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
: real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
: gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
: paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
: both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous.
:
: Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
: want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize
: that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So
: she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run
: by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
: responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
: plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
: fall asleep on his feet.
:
: I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and
: drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.
:
: Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
: the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
: here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
: shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither
: she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.
:
: And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
: piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a
: straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge
: almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.
:
: That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her
: knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she
: tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.
:

David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty
gets
a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.

Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just
gorgeous.

Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't
realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the
animal. So
she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him
run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
fall asleep on his feet.

I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car
and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.

Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that
neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with
a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a
nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.

That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around
her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because
if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.

ROFL!!!!

Er, that would be the proper gait! LOL

Now this is my first *ever* memory, okay? We are talking about me being
slightly less than a year old. My great-great uncle raised walkers but also
had a nag in the corral. So my family is visiting these folks, the
Stokely's. Dad puts me up on this nag and they are all standing there,
talking. Each with (of course) bourbon on the rocks - what else would you
serve your great grand nephew in Virginia except mint juleps? So I'm
sitting on this horse and she twitches her tail and I fall off and start
crying.

My mother never believed I remembered that until I described them standing
there, holding rocks glasses. Like a -1 year old would have a clue what
rocks glasses were, the colour of the liquid or how to describe that damned
corral and the ugly nag they put me on. It's amazing I ever got on a horse
again G

Uh, don't give me a whip, okay?

Jill

David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty
gets
a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.

Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just
gorgeous.

Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't
realize that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the
animal. So
she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him
run by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
fall asleep on his feet.

I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car
and drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.

Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that
neither she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with
a straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a
nudge almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.

That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around
her knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because
if she tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.

ROFL!!!!

Er, that would be the proper gait! LOL

Now this is my first *ever* memory, okay? We are talking about me being
slightly less than a year old. My great-great uncle raised walkers but also
had a nag in the corral. So my family is visiting these folks, the
Stokely's. Dad puts me up on this nag and they are all standing there,
talking. Each with (of course) bourbon on the rocks - what else would you
serve your great grand nephew in Virginia except mint juleps? So I'm
sitting on this horse and she twitches her tail and I fall off and start
crying.

My mother never believed I remembered that until I described them standing
there, holding rocks glasses. Like a -1 year old would have a clue what
rocks glasses were, the colour of the liquid or how to describe that damned
corral and the ugly nag they put me on. It's amazing I ever got on a horse
again G

Uh, don't give me a whip, okay?

Jill

David Yehudah wrote:

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it)

LOL - I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't anger a woman with a
whip in her hand, but in this case, it sounds like you weren't in much
danger.

Maybe she could take lessons?

Joyce

David Yehudah wrote:

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it)

LOL - I was going to say that maybe you shouldn't anger a woman with a
whip in her hand, but in this case, it sounds like you weren't in much
danger.

Maybe she could take lessons?

Joyce

ROFL, Dave -- this is priceless! Thanks for the laugh and purrs for Patty's
posterior!
Christine
"David Yehudah" wrote in message
...
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets
a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.

Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous.

Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize
that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So
she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run
by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
fall asleep on his feet.

I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and
drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.

Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither
she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a
straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge
almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.

That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her
knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she
tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.

ROFL, Dave -- this is priceless! Thanks for the laugh and purrs for Patty's
posterior!
Christine
"David Yehudah" wrote in message
...
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

Some of you may recall I got her a horse for her birthday, almost
exactly the color of the Budweiser Beer horses, but smaller. Patty gets
a big kick out of riding him, because he is a professionally trained
Tennessee Walker and has a great gait, according to DW; to me he feels
as if I'm riding a bicycle over railroad tracks.

Anywho, another lady who boards her Walker the same place we do is a
real expert with them. The other day we were out there and this lady
gets her horse out in the big arena and starts putting him through his
paces. She has a big horsewhip and really makes him work. Patty and I
both notice what a beautiful gait he has at a brisk canter. Just gorgeous.

Well, nothing would do Patty but she's gotta do that. But she doesn't
want to use the whip because she thinks it's cruel; she doesn't realize
that that the whip is just for noise. It never touches the animal. So
she gets her horse, Sneakers, out in the arena and tries to make him run
by throwing her hands up in the air and shouting, "Run!" Sneakers
responds by slowing down to a plodding walk. Before long Patty is worn
plumb out, all hot and sweaty, and the horse is so bored he's about to
fall asleep on his feet.

I explain to Patty about how the whip works, so she jumps in the car and
drives over to the feed store and buys a big horse whip.

Any of you ever try to make a whip crack? :-) Patty gets out there in
the middle of the arena, faces Sneakers with this "I'm the boss around
here" look on her face, slowly snakes the end of the whip over her
shoulder, and gives herself a crack on the right butt cheek that neither
she, Sneakers, nor I will ever forget.

And then she gets mad at me! She comes storming toward me to give me a
piece of her mind (as if she could spare it), I'm standing there with a
straight face, and the horse comes up behind her and gives her a nudge
almost strong enough to knock her off her feet.

That's when I lost it; I fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around her
knees, and tell her please not to hit me with that whip, because if she
tries she'll hit herself again and get me in real trouble.

David Yehudah wrote:
My DW gives me so much entertainment it ought to be illegal.

That is *too* funny!!! BTW, what is a gait?

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