new floor

I swear these little hairy varmint critters are going to be the death of
me yet; they're going to tickle me to death!

BIL John and I have spent the last couple of days installing a highly
polished marble floor in Chez Yehudah. It's nothing at all like the
Italian ceramic floor we installed in our former abode. This is, as my
grandfather used to say (he was kinda country, if you know what I mean),
"slicker than snot on a glass doorknob." You understand, Gramps didn't
hang out with the hoi polloi much.

So anywho I was sitting in a chair admiring the new floor when Samantha
came trotting up and decided she wanted to sit in my lap. Sam is our
resident Siamese lap fungus, as some of you may recall. With a mighty
bound she flopped down on the floor and just lay there, too surprised to
move. I could see her playing it over in her mind again, right up to the
ungainly flop on the floor which had been aimed at my lap. But the
essential movement that was supposed to have culminated in a snuggle and
a skritch turned into an ungainly skating maneuver not unlike a hog on ice.

She had it easy, though. The one that really tore me up was Spirit, our
long-haired, silver-gray kitten, now about a year old. She walked into
the living room just as I opened the door and let the boys in. They had
been shut out all day, locked out in the warm, cruel world so they
couldn't track through the fresh mortar spread invitingly on the floor.
The cats have better sense, so we didn't lock them out. Spirit walked
around the corner just as the stampede of three doxies and a Chihuahua
burst through the door. Every dadblame one of them mutts slammed into
her, one at a time, and each one spun her exactly 180 degrees on that
shiny, slick marble. She was so dizzy by then she could barely walk.

The d*gs didn't fare much better. As they ran into the living room in
single file, at full gallop, they all fouled up trying to make the turn.
One by one they leaned into the turn, then leaned some more, and slid
into the wall, feet madly scrabbling for purchase on those confounded tiles.

Looks as if we're going to be entertained for a long, long time.

Cheers,
Dave

Looks as if we're going to be entertained for a long, long time.

Cheers,
Dave

I'm getting a really funny mental pic. Like a hyped-up version of Bootsie when
she can't get traction and skids on the lineoleum. The cartoon-cat thing!

Sherry

On 18 Sep 2003 04:49:10 GMT, (Sherry ) wrote:

Looks as if we're going to be entertained for a long, long time.

Cheers,
Dave

I'm getting a really funny mental pic. Like a hyped-up version of Bootsie when
she can't get traction and skids on the lineoleum. The cartoon-cat thing!

Sherry

My image was of the commercial where they put some rolls of paper in
all the critical spots then turn loose the dog to go tearing through
the room, slipping on the floor and sliding into the paper. Haven't
seen it in a while, not even sure what they were selling

in article , David Yehudah at
wrote on 9/17/03 11:42 PM:

I swear these little hairy varmint critters are going to be the death of
me yet; they're going to tickle me to death!

BIL John and I have spent the last couple of days installing a highly
polished marble floor in Chez Yehudah. It's nothing at all like the
Italian ceramic floor we installed in our former abode. This is, as my
grandfather used to say (he was kinda country, if you know what I mean),
"slicker than snot on a glass doorknob." You understand, Gramps didn't
hang out with the hoi polloi much.

So anywho I was sitting in a chair admiring the new floor when Samantha
came trotting up and decided she wanted to sit in my lap. Sam is our
resident Siamese lap fungus, as some of you may recall. With a mighty
bound she flopped down on the floor and just lay there, too surprised to
move. I could see her playing it over in her mind again, right up to the
ungainly flop on the floor which had been aimed at my lap. But the
essential movement that was supposed to have culminated in a snuggle and
a skritch turned into an ungainly skating maneuver not unlike a hog on ice.

She had it easy, though. The one that really tore me up was Spirit, our
long-haired, silver-gray kitten, now about a year old. She walked into
the living room just as I opened the door and let the boys in. They had
been shut out all day, locked out in the warm, cruel world so they
couldn't track through the fresh mortar spread invitingly on the floor.
The cats have better sense, so we didn't lock them out. Spirit walked
around the corner just as the stampede of three doxies and a Chihuahua
burst through the door. Every dadblame one of them mutts slammed into
her, one at a time, and each one spun her exactly 180 degrees on that
shiny, slick marble. She was so dizzy by then she could barely walk.

The d*gs didn't fare much better. As they ran into the living room in
single file, at full gallop, they all fouled up trying to make the turn.
One by one they leaned into the turn, then leaned some more, and slid
into the wall, feet madly scrabbling for purchase on those confounded tiles.

Looks as if we're going to be entertained for a long, long time.

Cheers,
Dave


Mine love to stand and paw furiously at a shiny slick surface like that.

Karen

David Yehudah wrote:

snip hilarious story

That was soooo funny, I nearly wet myself! You described it so well it was
like I was there.

You should have seen it from this end. :-)

Sam is stubborn as a mule; I say she gets it from Patty's side of the
family, Patty has her own explanation. After I sent this post I went
back into the kitchen and had a snack before going to bed. My mind was a
million miles away when Sam went sailing by under my chair, paws wildly
scrabbling in all directions at once, whole body slowly turning. Spirit
was sitting there grooming herself, back to us all, when Sam bumped into
her. Annoyed, Spirit swatted Sam on the butt, which sent her into
another spin. Spirit thought this was the best game in the world; every
time Sam would stop spinning, Spirit would whomp her again. Sam got so
dizzy she couldn't get up.

Enter Mac. He considers himself the protector of the pack, and here was
this relative newcomer bothering one of his old buddies. Mac gave it The
Charge of the Light Brigade, barking his little pea brain out, then
hunkered down on his haunches and tried to stop. That's when he played
Bowling for Cats and wound up with both felines mad at him.

Never a dull moment around here.

Cheers,
Dave

Rachel wrote:
David Yehudah wrote:

snip hilarious story

That was soooo funny, I nearly wet myself! You described it so well it was
like I was there.

David Yehudah wrote:
You should have seen it from this end. :-)

Sam is stubborn as a mule; I say she gets it from Patty's side of the
family, Patty has her own explanation. After I sent this post I went
back into the kitchen and had a snack before going to bed. My mind
was a million miles away when Sam went sailing by under my chair,
paws wildly scrabbling in all directions at once, whole body slowly
turning. Spirit
was sitting there grooming herself, back to us all, when Sam bumped
into her. Annoyed, Spirit swatted Sam on the butt, which sent her into
another spin. Spirit thought this was the best game in the world;
every time Sam would stop spinning, Spirit would whomp her again. Sam
got so dizzy she couldn't get up.

Enter Mac. He considers himself the protector of the pack, and here
was this relative newcomer bothering one of his old buddies. Mac gave
it The Charge of the Light Brigade, barking his little pea brain out,
then hunkered down on his haunches and tried to stop. That's when he
played Bowling for Cats and wound up with both felines mad at him.

Never a dull moment around here.

Cheers,
Dave



More please! I haven't laughed so much in ages.

(just don't tell the cats that I'm finding their misforture so damm funny!)

Some advice from one who works on them: when you are getting out of shower
and soaking wet.......phone rings......DON'T run across that new floor to
get to either it or the front door! - or *you* will be the entertainment in
your nearest E.R. Same goes for ceramic tile floors. Equation: either type
floor + liquid + fast-moving hoomin = broken bones....



"Rachel" wrote in message
...
: David Yehudah wrote:
: You should have seen it from this end. :-)
:
: Sam is stubborn as a mule; I say she gets it from Patty's side of the
: family, Patty has her own explanation. After I sent this post I went
: back into the kitchen and had a snack before going to bed. My mind
: was a million miles away when Sam went sailing by under my chair,
: paws wildly scrabbling in all directions at once, whole body slowly
: turning. Spirit
: was sitting there grooming herself, back to us all, when Sam bumped
: into her. Annoyed, Spirit swatted Sam on the butt, which sent her into
: another spin. Spirit thought this was the best game in the world;
: every time Sam would stop spinning, Spirit would whomp her again. Sam
: got so dizzy she couldn't get up.
:
: Enter Mac. He considers himself the protector of the pack, and here
: was this relative newcomer bothering one of his old buddies. Mac gave
: it The Charge of the Light Brigade, barking his little pea brain out,
: then hunkered down on his haunches and tried to stop. That's when he
: played Bowling for Cats and wound up with both felines mad at him.
:
: Never a dull moment around here.
:
: Cheers,
: Dave
:
:
:
: More please! I haven't laughed so much in ages.
:
: (just don't tell the cats that I'm finding their misforture so damm
funny!)
:
:

"David Yehudah" wrote in message
...
I swear these little hairy varmint critters are going to be the death of
me yet; they're going to tickle me to death!

BIL John and I have spent the last couple of days installing a highly
polished marble floor in Chez Yehudah. It's nothing at all like the
Italian ceramic floor we installed in our former abode. This is, as my
grandfather used to say (he was kinda country, if you know what I mean),
"slicker than snot on a glass doorknob." You understand, Gramps didn't
hang out with the hoi polloi much.

snip another Classic Yehudah Yarn

You installed that floor just for the amusement value, didn't you?

Thanks for the laugh, Dave, and any photos of the surfing critters would be
greatly appreciated.

Yowie