Da loo-wow on da beech!

On Fri, 23 Feb 2007 02:25:00 GMT, "Julie Porter"
wrote:



On Thu, 22 Feb 2007 10:06:23 -0800, Her Royal Highness Cleopatra
Silvercat wrote:

Ah - the Jolly Rover flag! That's a shipload of pirates - dog
pirates. The
messenger from the main resort was warning us that a gang of dog
pirates
just raided the main resort and made off with the island's entire
supply
of catnip.

They might be headed for our little lagoon next. All of the strong
boykitties, we need your help. Ranger, lead them over to that grove
of
palm trees, where you climbed to lookout. There are a bunch of
palms over
there that blew down in the last furricane. The resort manager will
drive
the jeep over there, and you kitties can hook chains to the fallen
trees
and drag them back over here.

Cleo

[The inspector listens attentively, then leads Tiger toward the
villa
and his room. From a locked closet, he retrieves a small knapsack]

"Merde alors! Doggie pirates indeed!"

[He opens the knapsack, and pulls out two cat-sized holstered
pistols
and a case of glass vials]

"Zese, my furend, eez zee Gendarmerie's latest weapons. Zey are zee
lite-wayte, carbon-fiber water pistols made for a cat's paw. Zey
refrigerate zee water, and wif laser-guided sights shoot zee blast of
icy-waterz, and are accurate to 50 meters!

I weel wear mineown, and I am giffink you zee sekond won becawz you
are a mature and lefel-heded kitty who wood only use zis eef
necessary, hmmm, yes?" [Tiger nods]

[he then opens the smaller case, and Tiger sees various small vials
labeled catnip concentrate, dognip concentrate, sugar water, and
others he can not read]

"[Inspector] Do you rememfur on Zee Orient Eggspress, zat M.
Mercurio
had, ahem, disappeared Sr. Gaetano Tartuffo's dognip plant? Zee plant
zat zee kitty mafia had developed to make zee doggies silly? [Tiger
nods] Well, eet seems zat M. Mercurio donated a plant to zee
Gendarmerie, and we haff dognip concentrate een zees bottle.

[The inspector mixes some of the dognip with sugar water and loads
each water-pistol, turning on it's tiny refrigeration unit]

[Inspector} "Now, eef you need to use zees, you aim zee liddle red
laser dot at zee tip of zee doggie's nose and pull zee trigger. Zee
icy-cold water stunz zee doggie and makes heem forget what he eez
doink. He tastes zee sugar water, and eegerly liks eet off, ingestink
zee dognip. Wifin seconds, zee doggie becomez playful as zee puppy
and
often falls asleep. zen we handcuff zee offender, and take heeem off
to zee pownd."

"Zo then, put on zee holster under you flowery shirt az I do, [takes
off Hawaiian shirt and puts on the kitty-shoulder holster, then puts
shirt over it, hiding it completely] and now no won can see zat you
are armed, hokay? Letz go bak and mingle wif zee offur kitteez az eef
nuffink haz happened, hokay? Any kwestionz?

you are so brave! will you protect my fud too?
beauty

*small voise*
Ile protect you, beauty.

Joey


i'm worried that the d*gs mite steel my fud. fangu fur protecting me.
beauty

Tiger takes her paw, holds her close and beginsa danze, ... HHHMMM... dat
duzint luk like reglar firewurks, Tiger getting a little catcerned...
Mme. Anaïs ^..^ wrote in message
...
On Mon, 19 Feb 2007 19:45:27 -0500, Countess Persia Katzenplatzen's
nimble, little paws typed:

Dis iz a magikal Island an a magikal time, mes chatons!

[Raises her glass] To Chester an Lucy an Valleytimes kittiez
efurrywhere!

[turns to Tiger and they toastChester & Lucy]

Now, my luff, da rasta-kartz iz takin a break, an da jazz band iz
playink a slow song...

[takes him by the paw] It'z time fur a Valleytimez slow danse, don't
you fink, my luff?

[as they danse they hear a siren in the distance and see a red flare
in the sky] Iz doze firewurkz, my luff??
--
Purrs,

Mme. Anaïs
2/21/2007 8:05:37 PM

Oh, no, whutebber shall we do! I haznt evin had time yet to gib
Hercule hiz Valleytimez day prezzie! Oh I hopez dey leevz ussez
alone!
Rebecca

I wyllstay wiff yu, Bekky, wyl yur brudder sayvez uz frum doz terribobble
d*gz!--
Pitô.ônya

OK, fangu, Pitoonya. Maybe we kan help make doze rawhide d*ggie bones or
sumfing. Yoo know, ourown liddle contrybushun to da war effert, az it
were...

Rebecca

"Pi2nya AKA Sweetee" wrote in message
...
Sundance wrote:
Toonya, will yoo be OK if I goez an helpz dem? We duznt want ennee
d*gz invadin owr vacashun.

Sundance

Yu ar sooo brayve, Sunnydanze!
Ar yur klawz sharpent???

I wyll be brayff awlzo.
I wyll stay wiff yur sisfurr Bekky wyl yu fite lyke catz an d*gz.
. --
Pitô.ônya

OK, Sweetee, dat wud be wunnerful.

Myown klawz? Oh, hisssspittttt! Meowmie juss trimmed dem! I will haz to
do wifowt sharp klawz fur now.

Sundance, giving Pitoonya a nosetouch before running off to help repel the
d*gs

Tiger goes ridigid at this news and begins looking arownd, not afraid but
very well, militarily... He listens as reports and instructions are given
aprrofing of all he hears and sees... Diz iz NOT gud, Tiger
Ranger Greykitten wrote in message
news
Ranger, would you do me a favor? Run over to that far end of the beach
and
climb to the top of the biggest palm tree you can find. Let me know
what
you see to our south (that's that way [pointing]). Then run back. Don't
do
your tree-to-tree swing thing, please, just run.

[Ranger takes off running at top kitten speed.]

[the Inspector excuses himself from his dinner conversation, and
nonchalantly walks over to the huddle]

Ummmmm, I rekognized zat. Zat wuz no firewurks, buttid an emergency
flare...

[Ranger returns at top kitten speed]

Cleocatra, dere's a funny lookin big ship over dere (points to the south).
Itz leafing da main boat docks an sailing dat-a-way (points west). But itz
sailin backwards! An it's flying a funny looking flag - a black flack wif
a white doggy face, and crossed rawhide bones underneaf it.

No need for qweskinz, but i muzt tell you I duzint generali aproof of
weaponz but diz iz mine family furm MME. A to the newest cominity memfur dat
iz indangered so I iz willinta do whut iz needed ta purrtekt demselfz, Tiger
slips on Holster, adjusts it for easy reach and puts back on flowery shirt,
and follows his friend back to mingle, ...
John Ross Mc Master wrote in message
...
On Thu, 22 Feb 2007 13:38:52 -0500, Inspector Jacques Chat-Clouseau
wrote:

On Thu, 22 Feb 2007 10:06:23 -0800, Her Royal Highness Cleopatra
Silvercat wrote:

Ah - the Jolly Rover flag! That's a shipload of pirates - dog pirates.
The
messenger from the main resort was warning us that a gang of dog
pirates
just raided the main resort and made off with the island's entire
supply
of catnip.

They might be headed for our little lagoon next. All of the strong
boykitties, we need your help. Ranger, lead them over to that grove of
palm trees, where you climbed to lookout. There are a bunch of palms
over
there that blew down in the last furricane. The resort manager will
drive
the jeep over there, and you kitties can hook chains to the fallen
trees
and drag them back over here.

Cleo

[The inspector listens attentively, then leads Tiger toward the villa
and his room. From a locked closet, he retrieves a small knapsack]

"Merde alors! Doggie pirates indeed!"

[He opens the knapsack, and pulls out two cat-sized holstered pistols
and a case of glass vials]

"Zese, my furend, eez zee Gendarmerie's latest weapons. Zey are zee
lite-wayte, carbon-fiber water pistols made for a cat's paw. Zey
refrigerate zee water, and wif laser-guided sights shoot zee blast of
icy-waterz, and are accurate to 50 meters!

I weel wear mineown, and I am giffink you zee sekond won becawz you
are a mature and lefel-heded kitty who wood only use zis eef
necessary, hmmm, yes?" [Tiger nods]

[he then opens the smaller case, and Tiger sees various small vials
labeled catnip concentrate, dognip concentrate, sugar water, and
others he can not read]

"[Inspector] Do you rememfur on Zee Orient Eggspress, zat M. Mercurio
had, ahem, disappeared Sr. Gaetano Tartuffo's dognip plant? Zee plant
zat zee kitty mafia had developed to make zee doggies silly? [Tiger
nods] Well, eet seems zat M. Mercurio donated a plant to zee
Gendarmerie, and we haff dognip concentrate een zees bottle.

[The inspector mixes some of the dognip with sugar water and loads
each water-pistol, turning on it's tiny refrigeration unit]

[Inspector} "Now, eef you need to use zees, you aim zee liddle red
laser dot at zee tip of zee doggie's nose and pull zee trigger. Zee
icy-cold water stunz zee doggie and makes heem forget what he eez
doink. He tastes zee sugar water, and eegerly liks eet off, ingestink
zee dognip. Wifin seconds, zee doggie becomez playful as zee puppy and
often falls asleep. zen we handcuff zee offender, and take heeem off
to zee pownd."

"Zo then, put on zee holster under you flowery shirt az I do, [takes
off Hawaiian shirt and puts on the kitty-shoulder holster, then puts
shirt over it, hiding it completely] and now no won can see zat you
are armed, hokay? Letz go bak and mingle wif zee offur kitteez az eef
nuffink haz happened, hokay? Any kwestionz?

you are so brave! will you protect my fud too?
beauty

I can stay wif you guys while STT goez anna hepz,, OEJ
Pi2nya AKA Sweetee wrote in message
...
Sundance wrote:
"Her Royal Highness Cleopatra Silvercat"
wrote in message news
On Thu, 22 Feb 2007 10:04:06 -0800, Ranger Greykitten wrote:

Cleocatra, dere's a funny lookin big ship over dere (points to the
south).
Itz leafing da main boat docks an sailing dat-a-way (points west).
But itz
sailin backwards! An it's flying a funny looking flag - a black
flack wif a white doggy face, and crossed rawhide bones underneaf
it.

Ah - the Jolly Rover flag! That's a shipload of pirates - dog
pirates. The messenger from the main resort was warning us that a
gang of dog pirates just raided the main resort and made off with
the island's entire supply of catnip.

They might be headed for our little lagoon next. All of the strong
boykitties, we need your help. Ranger, lead them over to that grove
of palm trees, where you climbed to lookout. There are a bunch of
palms over there that blew down in the last furricane. The resort
manager will drive the jeep over there, and you kitties can hook
chains to the fallen trees and drag them back over here.

Cleo

Toonya, will yoo be OK if I goez an helpz dem? We duznt want ennee
d*gz invadin owr vacashun.

Sundance

Yu ar sooo brayve, Sunnydanze!
Ar yur klawz sharpent???

I wyll be brayff awlzo.
I wyll stay wiff yur sisfurr Bekky wyl yu fite lyke catz an d*gz.
. --
Pitô.ônya

You iz veri brafe, OEJ, adoringly and prowd
Amelia T Cat wrote in message
news
I haff an idea... You know, Amelia, dahlink, zat ze rasta kitties
also make drums on zee island, and undowtably haff lots of rawhide for
zee drum-skinz. What eef we fashion zem into rawhide doggie-chews and
hurl zem into zee water near zee ship.

Perhaps zee doggies will jump into zee water to play wif dem, and dat
wood be a distrakshun.

Whaddya fink?

That's an excellent idea, Countess! Thank you for suggesting that. STTom,
would you go ask the rasta kitties if they could provide us with some
rawhide?

[ShortTail Tom huddles with the musical kitties, and returns quickly.]

STTom: Dey said dey'd be glad to! Dey'z going off tu get it now. Dey will
be back wif da hides in a minute or so.

Him iza real kitty anna himsef iz wonnerful, at owr howze himsef iz teachin
minesef abowt ninja kitty mofez, Stormmee
Julie Porter wrote in message
nk.net...
Stormmee, fangu! Ime the lukkiest cat effur. Sumtimes I fink Chester is
tuu guud to be troo.

Lucy

"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
I iz so happy dat chester finded sucha a gud kitty, he haz a wonnerful
heart, Stormmee
Debby wrote in message
...
[The teleporter twinkles, wrinkles, and shines, and out steps
Sheriff
Rosco
P. Catrane of Catmerica and his date Stormmee. Both are wearing
their
Valentime's Day collars. They quickly take their places among the
kittiez.]

What cud be more romantikal than a winking 'gagement on
Valleytimez
day! Letz raise owr glasses to Chester an Lucy, an wish dem awl ov
da
best!

Now, I finks dat itz time to let da Valleytimez danse an party
begin.
We haff da rasta steel-drum band - I see dat doze Jamakain kittiez
is
smokin dere nip spiffies an playink dere hearz owt, so letz danse!

Jocko iz of cawze, still serfin clamz, an crabbiez an toona an
lopsterz fur da hungry kittiez, and as da moon rizes, we haff a
liddle
jazz band to play much slower numbers fur da owlder kittiez an
doze
who wantsta slo danse.

Dis iz a magikal Island an a magikal time, mes chatons!

[Raises her glass] To Chester an Lucy an Valleytimes kittiez
efurrywhere!

"TO CHESTER AND LUCY! MEOW!" cheered Rosco & Stormmee

yez alla uses catz inna cumunity iz veri luki, anna blezzed, Chester
Julie Porter wrote in message
nk.net...
It iz, Chester, izzunt it?

Lucy

"Stormmee" wrote in message
...
efuryday iz like dat anna kissamouse togefur, Chester
Sylvia M wrote in message
...
Pit2nya and Sundance come over to join the group, both with
umbrella
drinks, and Pit2nya carrying a comfy red quilt with the border of
white
hearts, while Sundance sports a catz-eye green kwilt, with yellow
rikrak.

Oh Countess Persia Katzenplatzen, diz iz sertinlee a magikal Iyland,
an we ar sooo bery happy furr owr frendz Chester an Lucy!!

both raise their glasses

To Chester and Lucy, may efurryday be a Valleytimez day furr dem!

KLIK!!!

Countess Persia Katzenplatzen wrote:
Well my frendz,

What cud be more romantikal than a winking 'gagement on
Valleytimez
day! Letz raise owr glasses to Chester an Lucy, an wish dem awl ov
da
best!

Now, I finks dat itz time to let da Valleytimez danse an party
begin.
We haff da rasta steel-drum band - I see dat doze Jamakain kittiez
is
smokin dere nip spiffies an playink dere hearz owt, so letz danse!

Jocko iz of cawze, still serfin clamz, an crabbiez an toona an
lopsterz fur da hungry kittiez, and as da moon rizes, we haff a
liddle
jazz band to play much slower numbers fur da owlder kittiez an
doze
who wantsta slo danse.

Dis iz a magikal Island an a magikal time, mes chatons!

[Raises her glass] To Chester an Lucy an Valleytimes kittiez
efurrywhere!