Should I be mad at my sister?

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "BrandyÂ*Â*Alexandre"
wrote:

My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying of
pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take her to
doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two cats, both 11
years old and wnated my sister to have them put to sleep and cremated
so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask someone
else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she did. I know
you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what did the cats ever
do? My sister said that one of them is very needy and wouldn't do well
in another home and besides, no would want such old cats. Anyway, she
dropped them at the vet today. She was heartsick to do it and was
crying as soon as she pulled into the parking lot, but I just feel it
was wrong on some level. What do you think?

What good would it do -- she feels badly about it.

"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
s.com...
m. L. Briggs wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "Brandy Alexandre"
wrote:

My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying
of pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take
her to doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two
cats, both 11 years old and wnated my sister to have them put to
sleep and cremated so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask
someone else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she
did. I know you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what
did the cats ever do? My sister said that one of them is very
needy and wouldn't do well in another home and besides, no would
want such old cats. Anyway, she dropped them at the vet today.
She was heartsick to do it and was crying as soon as she pulled
into the parking lot, but I just feel it was wrong on some level.
What do you think?

What good would it do -- she feels badly about it.


I meant the whole situation, really. Would you have that "no one else
should have my cats" or the "my cats can't live without me" attitude if
you were dying to the extent you would have perfectly healthy animals
put to sleep?

--
Brandy Alexandre®
http://www.swydm.com/?refer=BrandyAlx
Well, would you?

No, absolutely not, and I think you have raised an important question that
all of us should consider. I have read about others who think their cats
should be euthanized when they die "because no one could care for them as I
do." I consider that to be an incredibly selfish attitude. I do think that
all of us should think about the possibility of our own deaths and make
provisions for our pets (because that can happen at any time, and sometimes
in a very unexpected way -- such as an auto accident). In my case, I have
made arrangements with a friend who has agreed to care for my furry twosome
if anything were to happen to me, and I have also given this information to
my family. She knows my philosophy of cat care and completely agrees with
me that they would always be indoor-only cats and would not be declawed. If
something were to happen so my friend could not do this, my sister has
agreed to find homes for my two cats. I also intend to add a codicil to my
will (something that I have been thinking about for some time) that will
stipulate these arrangements and also leave a sum of money for the care of
Holly and Duffy (or any other pets I may have at the time of my death).

MaryL

Wow...this story made me experience an absolutely gut wrenching wave of
revulsion. I'm not sure how I would react to my sis if she did something
like that. Were it I in her situation, I would have fostered two kitties
until such time as I could find a home or take them to a no-kill shelter
where they might have a chance...

--
Peace,
Pen
--
Pawbreakers - The Candy for Cats!
http://www.pawbreakers.com

"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
s.com...
My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying of
pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take her to
doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two cats, both 11
years old and wnated my sister to have them put to sleep and cremated
so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask someone
else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she did. I know
you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what did the cats ever
do? My sister said that one of them is very needy and wouldn't do well
in another home and besides, no would want such old cats. Anyway, she
dropped them at the vet today. She was heartsick to do it and was
crying as soon as she pulled into the parking lot, but I just feel it
was wrong on some level. What do you think?

--
Brandy Alexandre®
http://www.swydm.com/?refer=BrandyAlx
Well, would you?

Pen wrote:
Wow...this story made me experience an
absolutely gut wrenching wave of
revulsion.

Me too. As despicable and abhorrent as the actions of the "neighbor"
are, I am even more disgusted that Brandy's sister would actually choose
to be a part of this and send the cats to their deaths.

My mother has exactly the same "no one can take care of them like I do"
attitude. I'll never forget the night she told me how she planned to
have her pets (4 cats and a dog) killed if something should happen to
her and the ensuing sick revulsion I felt. While there were other issues
that factored in, this was the final straw. At that moment I could no
longer deny that she was an extremely selfish, coldhearted bitch that
was almost sociopathic in nature. I ended my relationship with my mother
right then and there and haven't spoken to her in years.

Please. people, make a will and provide for your animals so they can
happily live on after you are gone. You owe them that.

Megan



"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."

-Edmund Burke

Learn The TRUTH About Declawing
http://www.stopdeclaw.com

Zuzu's Cats Photo Album:
http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one
elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and
splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and
material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his
way."

- W.H. Murray

"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message ...
"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
s.com...
m. L. Briggs wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "Brandy Alexandre"
wrote:

My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying
of pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take
her to doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two
cats, both 11 years old and wnated my sister to have them put to
sleep and cremated so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask
someone else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she
did. I know you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what
did the cats ever do? My sister said that one of them is very
needy and wouldn't do well in another home and besides, no would
want such old cats. Anyway, she dropped them at the vet today.
She was heartsick to do it and was crying as soon as she pulled
into the parking lot, but I just feel it was wrong on some level.
What do you think?

What good would it do -- she feels badly about it.


I meant the whole situation, really. Would you have that "no one else
should have my cats" or the "my cats can't live without me" attitude if
you were dying to the extent you would have perfectly healthy animals
put to sleep?

--
Brandy Alexandre®
http://www.swydm.com/?refer=BrandyAlx
Well, would you?

No, absolutely not, and I think you have raised an important question that
all of us should consider. I have read about others who think their cats
should be euthanized when they die "because no one could care for them as I
do." I consider that to be an incredibly selfish attitude. I do think that
all of us should think about the possibility of our own deaths and make
provisions for our pets (because that can happen at any time, and sometimes
in a very unexpected way -- such as an auto accident). In my case, I have
made arrangements with a friend who has agreed to care for my furry twosome
if anything were to happen to me, and I have also given this information to
my family. She knows my philosophy of cat care and completely agrees with
me that they would always be indoor-only cats and would not be declawed. If
something were to happen so my friend could not do this, my sister has
agreed to find homes for my two cats. I also intend to add a codicil to my
will (something that I have been thinking about for some time) that will
stipulate these arrangements and also leave a sum of money for the care of
Holly and Duffy (or any other pets I may have at the time of my death).

MaryL

You certainly raise a good point about providing for pets in your
will. Until I read the OP, I had never heard of someone wanting to
have their pets put to sleep if the owner died. I think that's
disgusting. If someone asked me to do what the OP's sister was asked
to do, I think I would try to talk them out of it and if they
insisted, frankly, I would think of a way to deceive them so that the
pets would not get put to sleep. In that situation, I just would give
no weight to the fact that the person was dying. No doubt the request
creates a stressful situation and I think it's extremely selfish or at
best misguided.

BTW-I adopted an 11 year old cat (Kona a/k/a "Konaman") from a shelter
6 months ago. It *is* harder for them to get an older cat adopted,
but it happens. Even if the cats had wound up in a shelter, they would
have a chance at being adopted.

"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
s.com...

Tough call. My mother asked that her cat Sissy (my Gnarly's daughter)
be put to sleep
if anything happened to her. Her reason was that she could not bear
the thought of anyone mistreating her, and BIG SURPRISE, Gnarly's
daughter was an ill-tempered, biting, scratching little b*tch, even
though she was raised from kittenhood by sweet and loving Mama. [When
my mother was in her last illness Sissy stayed under her covers and
hated me so much, at the sound of my voice that lump in the covers
hissed. Every time I entered the room.]

Anyway, thank goodness my niece was left with the responsibility and
not me. I don't think I could have done it. What Kimmy did was keep
her for six months, hoping she would adjust. My niece and her husband
were very smart and patient, very gentle, and there were no other
animals in the house. Sissy remained unmoved, came out to eat and
drink only at night when nobody was about, and was for the most part
just something that hissed whenever anyone walked near the bureau she
was under. (They had her in a guest room nobody used.) So, they did
have her euthanized--and did not consult with any of us first. Sissy
was twelve years old.

wrote in message
...

I ended my relationship with my mother
right then and there and haven't spoken to her in years.


For some reason THIS fills me with revulsion. Perhaps someone else can
explain it.

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 09:28:15 GMT, "BrandyÂ*Â*Alexandre"
wrote:

m. L. Briggs wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "BrandyÂ*Â*Alexandre"
wrote:

My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying
of pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take
her to doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two
cats, both 11 years old and wnated my sister to have them put to
sleep and cremated so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask
someone else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she
did. I know you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what
did the cats ever do? My sister said that one of them is very
needy and wouldn't do well in another home and besides, no would
want such old cats. Anyway, she dropped them at the vet today.
She was heartsick to do it and was crying as soon as she pulled
into the parking lot, but I just feel it was wrong on some level.
What do you think?

What good would it do -- she feels badly about it.


I meant the whole situation, really. Would you have that "no one else
should have my cats" or the "my cats can't live without me" attitude if
you were dying to the extent you would have perfectly healthy animals
put to sleep?

NO! The woman should have (or had someone help her) made an attempt
to find them another home. It was disgraceful to ask your sister to
take them to be killed. Your sister caved and now feels the sorrow
of the mistake.

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 04:48:54 -0600, "MaryL"
-OUT-THE-LITTER wrote:


"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
ws.com...
m. L. Briggs wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "Brandy Alexandre"
wrote:

My sister has been sort of helping out her neighbor who is dying
of pancreatic cancer. She's helping to pack up the house, take
her to doctor appointments and all of that. This woman has two
cats, both 11 years old and wnated my sister to have them put to
sleep and cremated so they can be buried with her.

I think that's a very selfish thing to do, and cruel to ask
someone else to do, and I suggested that she just not and say she
did. I know you should follow the wishes of the dying, but what
did the cats ever do? My sister said that one of them is very
needy and wouldn't do well in another home and besides, no would
want such old cats. Anyway, she dropped them at the vet today.
She was heartsick to do it and was crying as soon as she pulled
into the parking lot, but I just feel it was wrong on some level.
What do you think?

What good would it do -- she feels badly about it.


I meant the whole situation, really. Would you have that "no one else
should have my cats" or the "my cats can't live without me" attitude if
you were dying to the extent you would have perfectly healthy animals
put to sleep?

--
Brandy Alexandre®
http://www.swydm.com/?refer=BrandyAlx
Well, would you?

No, absolutely not, and I think you have raised an important question that
all of us should consider. I have read about others who think their cats
should be euthanized when they die "because no one could care for them as I
do." I consider that to be an incredibly selfish attitude. I do think that
all of us should think about the possibility of our own deaths and make
provisions for our pets (because that can happen at any time, and sometimes
in a very unexpected way -- such as an auto accident). In my case, I have
made arrangements with a friend who has agreed to care for my furry twosome
if anything were to happen to me, and I have also given this information to
my family. She knows my philosophy of cat care and completely agrees with
me that they would always be indoor-only cats and would not be declawed. If
something were to happen so my friend could not do this, my sister has
agreed to find homes for my two cats. I also intend to add a codicil to my
will (something that I have been thinking about for some time) that will
stipulate these arrangements and also leave a sum of money for the care of
Holly and Duffy (or any other pets I may have at the time of my death).

MaryL

The codicil is a good idea. When adopting TuTu I made a promise to
the cat protection group that if I were unable to care for TuTu I
would return her to the lady in charge. However that group no longer
exists. I also spoke to my Vet and she said she would take her and
find her a home. My family also promised to find her a home. My son
and grandchildren are allergic to cats so they would not be able to
keep her. They also have very big dogs that I would not trust with
cats. So now I have to trust the honor of the promises! MLB

"CajunPrincess" wrote in message
om...
"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
...
"Brandy Alexandre" wrote in message
s.com...
m. L. Briggs wrote in
rec.pets.cats.health+behav:

On Tue, 16 Mar 2004 05:42:19 GMT, "Brandy Alexandre"
wrote:


I meant the whole situation, really. Would you have that "no one else
should have my cats" or the "my cats can't live without me" attitude
if
you were dying to the extent you would have perfectly healthy animals
put to sleep?

--
Brandy Alexandre®
http://www.swydm.com/?refer=BrandyAlx
Well, would you?

No, absolutely not, and I think you have raised an important question
that
all of us should consider. I have read about others who think their
cats
should be euthanized when they die "because no one could care for them
as I
do." I consider that to be an incredibly selfish attitude. I do think
that
all of us should think about the possibility of our own deaths and make
provisions for our pets (because that can happen at any time, and
sometimes
in a very unexpected way -- such as an auto accident).

MaryL

You certainly raise a good point about providing for pets in your
will. Until I read the OP, I had never heard of someone wanting to
have their pets put to sleep if the owner died. I think that's
disgusting. If someone asked me to do what the OP's sister was asked
to do, I think I would try to talk them out of it and if they
insisted, frankly, I would think of a way to deceive them so that the
pets would not get put to sleep. In that situation, I just would give
no weight to the fact that the person was dying. No doubt the request
creates a stressful situation and I think it's extremely selfish or at
best misguided.

BTW-I adopted an 11 year old cat (Kona a/k/a "Konaman") from a shelter
6 months ago. It *is* harder for them to get an older cat adopted,
but it happens. Even if the cats had wound up in a shelter, they would
have a chance at being adopted.

I agree with everything CajunPrincess has written, and I should have added
that type of information to my original message. I usually disagree with
people who say that it is alright to deceive others, but in this type of
instance I think it is the only *moral* and *honorable* thing to do. If I
couldn't talk someone into looking for an alternative to euthanasia in a
case like this, I definitely would find a way to get those cats out of the
"owner's" care. The law may look at pets as property, but I do not. When I
adopted my cats, I took on a lifelong responsibility -- the length of their
life but also mine (and beyond, by making arrangements for continued care if
I do not live as long as they do). Animals are not disposable objects!

Thanks for caring.

MaryL