OT GOT TO READ THIS

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next
day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on
the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to
my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem .

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it
starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,
"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under
the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No,
it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It
was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied
hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked
me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them
with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly
bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full
weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in
this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet
bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.


When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to
suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about
my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
about,which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
tongue?"





That God this was not me
OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept wondering why
this was the first we had heard about your new kitten!

You all know about our new kitten Ka' Shay http://i2.tinypic.com/21nqdd0.jpg
Look at the post I finally got her to sit still

"Pat" wrote in message
.. .
That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept wondering
why this was the first we had heard about your new kitten!

I knew about Ka'Shay but this sounded like another new one.

"Matthew" wrote

You all know about our new kitten Ka' Shay
http://i2.tinypic.com/21nqdd0.jpg
Look at the post I finally got her to sit still

"Pat" wrote

That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept wondering
why this was the first we had heard about your new kitten!

In ,
Pat purred:
I knew about Ka'Shay but this sounded like another new one.

"Matthew" wrote

You all know about our new kitten Ka' Shay
http://i2.tinypic.com/21nqdd0.jpg
Look at the post I finally got her to sit still

"Pat" wrote

That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept
wondering why this was the first we had heard about your new kitten!

Pat, not sure if you're aware of this, but Matthew wrote that whole story as
a *joke*. I received the story in my email years ago, and it is still
making the rounds, it seems.

I happen to *know* this as A) read it before, B) Matthew is retired and has
no boss to call in to (and IIRC, *he* was the boss that would have received
the call in the first place).

Just thought you might want to know

"Magic Mood Jeep©" wrote in message
...
In ,
Pat purred:
I knew about Ka'Shay but this sounded like another new one.

"Matthew" wrote

You all know about our new kitten Ka' Shay
http://i2.tinypic.com/21nqdd0.jpg
Look at the post I finally got her to sit still

"Pat" wrote

That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept
wondering why this was the first we had heard about your new kitten!

Pat, not sure if you're aware of this, but Matthew wrote that whole story
as a *joke*. I received the story in my email years ago, and it is still
making the rounds, it seems.

I happen to *know* this as A) read it before, B) Matthew is retired and
has no boss to call in to (and IIRC, *he* was the boss that would have
received the call in the first place).

Just thought you might want to know


I got it in a email this morning. I am glad you remember I was my own box
and thanks for remembering I am an old man ;-)

Along that line along time ago I did receive a call from an employee that he
had broke his leg and could not come in for awhile. His wife came in and
told me what happened laughing the whole time; the kids told everyone else.
It come to pass that her husband sleep in the nude and got up to go to the
bathroom., Well in the middle of relieving himself #1 the family dog came
in and stuck his cold nose into the crack of his a@@ and barked. It scared
the crap out of him and as the other joke said in cases like that men
choose to flee instead of fight. Well he jumped slipped on the wet floor
due to his being scared and missing the bowl (all men guilty of this
including some women) fell into the tub which was still wet from an earlier
bath slide sideways tearing their bathroom up and ended up breaking his leg.
Well he went thru the same thing as the man in the joke did when the
paramedics were called. Plus his trip to the hospital was just as
comically. His wife video taped the whole thing after the fall and the call
to 911.
When he finally came back no one said anything till closing when he
came back into back room to clock out. We had a party for him. A cake with
a picture of a dog sticking its nose on an ice tray. We gave him a DVD copy
of the tape, a bag of dog food, a anti - bark collar, a book on how to clean
the tub, a book on remolding your dream bathroom and a bull's-eye with a
hole in the middle saying aim here. He took it in stride and turned every
color in the book. The look he gave me and his wife but it s was worth it
:-)

boss damn spell checker

"Matthew" wrote

boss damn spell checker

And "remolding" the bathroom - most people prefer "demolding"...

In ,
Matthew purred:
"Magic Mood Jeep©" wrote in message
...
In ,
Pat purred:
I knew about Ka'Shay but this sounded like another new one.

"Matthew" wrote

You all know about our new kitten Ka' Shay
http://i2.tinypic.com/21nqdd0.jpg
Look at the post I finally got her to sit still

"Pat" wrote

That wasn't OT at all. But all the way to the very end, I kept
wondering why this was the first we had heard about your new
kitten!

Pat, not sure if you're aware of this, but Matthew wrote that whole
story as a *joke*. I received the story in my email years ago, and
it is still making the rounds, it seems.

I happen to *know* this as A) read it before, B) Matthew is retired
and has no boss to call in to (and IIRC, *he* was the boss that
would have received the call in the first place).

Just thought you might want to know


I got it in a email this morning. I am glad you remember I was my
own box and thanks for remembering I am an old man ;-)


Not really, I'm only 42 and consider myself "retired" - however, am going
back to school so I can learn new things.


Along that line along time ago I did receive a call from an employee
that he had broke his leg and could not come in for awhile. His wife
came in and told me what happened laughing the whole time; the kids
told everyone else. It come to pass that her husband sleep in the
nude and got up to go to the bathroom., Well in the middle of
relieving himself #1 the family dog came in and stuck his cold nose
into the crack of his a@@ and barked. It scared the crap out of him
and as the other joke said in cases like that men choose to flee
instead of fight. Well he jumped slipped on the wet floor due to his
being scared and missing the bowl (all men guilty of this including
some women) fell into the tub which was still wet from an earlier
bath slide sideways tearing their bathroom up and ended up breaking
his leg. Well he went thru the same thing as the man in the joke did
when the paramedics were called. Plus his trip to the hospital was
just as comically. His wife video taped the whole thing after the
fall and the call to 911. When he finally came back no one said
anything till closing when he came back into back room to clock out. We
had a party for him. A
cake with a picture of a dog sticking its nose on an ice tray. We
gave him a DVD copy of the tape, a bag of dog food, a anti - bark
collar, a book on how to clean the tub, a book on remolding your
dream bathroom and a bull's-eye with a hole in the middle saying aim
here. He took it in stride and turned every color in the book. The
look he gave me and his wife but it s was worth it :-)

On Wed, 23 Aug 2006 20:19:55 +0000, Matthew wrote:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my
excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the
truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had
sustained a head injury, and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next
day. By then, I reasoned, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on
the top of my head. The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to
my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty.

Initially, the new acquisition was no problem .

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my
wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

"Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter
and steam. "Reset it yourself!" "But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it
starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,
"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and butt naked, hoping that my silent outraged
nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as
extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under
the sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No,
it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It
was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied
hanging between my legs. She had been poised around the corner and stalked
me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most
vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them
with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly
bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full
weight of a kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in
this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from
experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet
bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.


When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not
many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen
floor butt naked in front of a group of "been-there, done-that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all
snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to
suppress their hysterical laughter......and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all. A few days later I finally made it back in
to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about
my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk
about,which it was. "What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your
tongue?"





That God this was not me
OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


Good version. The first one I read in the 1950s also had U being taken on
a stretcher down the stairs to the hospital. The paramedics slipped on
the stairs and dropped the stretcher..

Glad you lived to tell the story again. MLB