Expectations about weight OT

I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim." I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?
Does it matter to my family what my weight is? I hope not. What if since
the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat? What would she had said
then? I know what she would have said actually. "I have a diet that you
might like to go on.." She is obsessed about being slim. Huh, I told her
the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

Tweed

On 2006-05-07, Christina Websell penned:
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim." I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?

I wish I knew!

Does it matter to my family what my weight is? I hope not. What if since
the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat? What would she had said
then? I know what she would have said actually. "I have a diet that you
might like to go on.." She is obsessed about being slim. Huh, I told her
the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

*snicker*

It's just assumed that thin = good, and that if you're thin you must
be thrilled about it, and if you're not thin that you must be terribly
bothered about it, and actively working against it. Nevermind if
you're thin because you've been ill, or if you're actually trying to
gain weight, or if you're happy with how you look.

On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
you.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2006-05-07, Christina Websell penned:
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim." I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?

I wish I knew!

Does it matter to my family what my weight is? I hope not. What if
since
the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat? What would she had
said
then? I know what she would have said actually. "I have a diet that you
might like to go on.." She is obsessed about being slim. Huh, I told
her
the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

*snicker*

It's just assumed that thin = good, and that if you're thin you must
be thrilled about it, and if you're not thin that you must be terribly
bothered about it, and actively working against it. Nevermind if
you're thin because you've been ill, or if you're actually trying to
gain weight, or if you're happy with how you look.

On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
you.

Oh, probably so. Normally I wouldn't mind if she wasn't so weight-obsessive
and that seems to be all that matters. This seems to be new thing in the
last few years, maybe she read something somewhere.
I don't buy into "thin is good - fat is bad."

Tweed

On Sun, 7 May 2006 02:04:51 +0100, "Christina Websell"
yodeled:


"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
. ..
On 2006-05-07, Christina Websell penned:
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how much
isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim." I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?

I wish I knew!

Does it matter to my family what my weight is? I hope not. What if
since
the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat? What would she had
said
then? I know what she would have said actually. "I have a diet that you
might like to go on.." She is obsessed about being slim. Huh, I told
her
the thinner she is the more wrinkles she'll have. ;-)

*snicker*

It's just assumed that thin = good, and that if you're thin you must
be thrilled about it, and if you're not thin that you must be terribly
bothered about it, and actively working against it. Nevermind if
you're thin because you've been ill, or if you're actually trying to
gain weight, or if you're happy with how you look.

On the plus side, she probably meant well and intended to compliment
you.

Oh, probably so. Normally I wouldn't mind if she wasn't so weight-obsessive
and that seems to be all that matters. This seems to be new thing in the
last few years, maybe she read something somewhere.
I don't buy into "thin is good - fat is bad."

Tweed


Well, you seem to be pretty clear that it is her problem and not
yours. So you're fine.



Theresa
Stinky Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/album/125591586JWEFwh
My Blog: http://www.humanitas.blogspot.com

Make Levees, Not War

Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger uncle's
wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still slim." I haven't
seen her for two years.
What's that about?

I think that in a culture where slim=attractive, she was trying to
compliment you. Particularly since people tend to gain weight as they
age.

Lately, my mother makes a lot of comments about me being
unattractive/fat/etc. I weigh 163 lbs. She weights 230+. Teacup,
meet kettle.

I was once seriously ill and plummetted to 128 lbs. On my frame,
that's underweight (145-150 is my ideal). My close friends were
concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
great. I was all bones.

--Fil

Enfilade wrote:

I was once seriously ill and plummetted to 128 lbs. On my frame,
that's underweight (145-150 is my ideal). My close friends were
concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
great. I was all bones.

Perverted, isn't it? I had a friend who went through a severe bout
of uncontrolled epileptic seizures, and had to be hospitalized for 3
weeks in intensive care. During this episode, she lost about 30 lbs,
and she wasn't that heavy to begin with. She looked terrible afterward,
frail, weak, ill (and she *was* all of that). Yet people insisted on
complimenting her on her weight loss. OK, people often don't know what
to say when someone's been very sick, and maybe they thought that would
be a comfort to her. But she found it very annoying. At one point she
held her hands out in front of her, palms up and curved, and moved
them up and down, imitating the two baskets of a scale, while saying,
"Let's see... fat (lifting one hand).... seizures (lifting the other)...
fat... seizures..." like it was a tough decision.

Yeah, some people have pretty warped priorities.

Joyce

On 2006-05-07, Enfilade penned:

Lately, my mother makes a lot of comments about me being
unattractive/fat/etc. I weigh 163 lbs. She weights 230+. Teacup,
meet kettle.

I was once seriously ill and plummetted to 128 lbs. On my frame,
that's underweight (145-150 is my ideal). My close friends were
concerned by how I looked, but casual acquaintances said I looked
great. I was all bones.

Aren't mothers helpful?

My mom also worries about my weight ... atm I'm 168, and 145-150 would
also be about right for me. I'm probably shorter than you -- I'm 5'5
-- but I seem to be dense *grin*

I once lost a ton of weight and got down to a size 10. I happened to
be extremely depressed and fairly out of touch with reality at that
point. I bought a bunch of nifty clothes, thrilled to be able to wear
them, but several coworkers pulled me aside, worried that I was
anorexic. When I'm really depressed, I just don't eat.

My mom *is* lighter than me and wears smaller sizes, and yay for her
and all that, she's very proud of it, but she worries me because she's
also fairly sedentary, inflexible, and prone to falls. She's already
broken her tibia a few years ago ... I would happily have her gain a
few pounds if they were muscle, and I've seriously talked to her about
trying yoga, but because she's so inflexible and has such poor
balance, she won't even go to the classes. Sigh. She's exactly the
kind of person who would benefit most from it.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2006-05-07, Enfilade penned:


Aren't mothers helpful?

My mom also worries about my weight ... atm I'm 168, and 145-150 would
also be about right for me. I'm probably shorter than you -- I'm 5'5
-- but I seem to be dense *grin*

I once lost a ton of weight and got down to a size 10. I happened to
be extremely depressed and fairly out of touch with reality at that
point. I bought a bunch of nifty clothes, thrilled to be able to wear
them, but several coworkers pulled me aside, worried that I was
anorexic. When I'm really depressed, I just don't eat.

Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
vet's.
I lost weight when I cut back on my sugar intake. My
doctor warned me of becoming diabetic as I have a family history.
I have a sweet tooth, but I manage to cut back..
These days I try to go for a walk before or after I indulge in something
sweet.
I am down to a size 2 petite. I am 5' 3" and barely make it to 100 lb
My doctor is not concerned about my weight though.

Winnie



My mom *is* lighter than me and wears smaller sizes, and yay for her
and all that, she's very proud of it, but she worries me because she's
also fairly sedentary, inflexible, and prone to falls. She's already
broken her tibia a few years ago ... I would happily have her gain a
few pounds if they were muscle, and I've seriously talked to her about
trying yoga, but because she's so inflexible and has such poor
balance, she won't even go to the classes. Sigh. She's exactly the
kind of person who would benefit most from it.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

W. Leong wrote:

Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
vet's.
I lost weight when I cut back on my sugar intake. My
doctor warned me of becoming diabetic as I have a family history.
I have a sweet tooth, but I manage to cut back..
These days I try to go for a walk before or after I indulge in something
sweet.
I am down to a size 2 petite. I am 5' 3" and barely make it to 100 lb
My doctor is not concerned about my weight though.

Winnie

You're exactly the same size as me. One advantage is I can always find
my size on a sale rack, same with shoes. My GP rags on me about weight
sometimes but the cardiologist never does.
I have a terrible self image. It isn't just overweight people who have
a bad self image. I think we all do. Sometimes I get really depressed
and think I look like a crack whore.

Sherry
Sherry

On 2006-05-09, penned:

You're exactly the same size as me. One advantage is I can always
find my size on a sale rack, same with shoes. My GP rags on me about
weight sometimes but the cardiologist never does. I have a terrible
self image. It isn't just overweight people who have a bad self
image. I think we all do. Sometimes I get really depressed and think
I look like a crack whore.

Sherry

Oh, Sherry *hug*

Don't think that! We all have parts we think could be "better,"
whatever that is.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca