Expectations about weight OT

"dnr" wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
much isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger
uncle's wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still
slim." I haven't seen her for two years.
What's that about?
Tweed

One-word analysis: "Meow"........does this rude relative
know of your fairly recent medical histories?


Yes, she does. I don't think she actually *meant* it in a bad way. I
think as has been said downthread, she thinks that being slim is so
important that it was probably meant as praise.
I guess what I was trying to say was that as I haven't seen them for two
years and during that time I almost died I was taken aback that a comment
about my weight was the *very* first thing said to me.
Not "hello, how nice to see you after all this time.. " not "thank
goodness you seem to getting on well after..."
I didn't let her know I'd noticed, I just said "thanks.."
It was also funny when she said goodbye. I was just coming down from the
bathroom as they were all saying goodbye so I said "hey, don't go without a
goodbye hug!" So she hugged me and said "good luck with your hernia!" I
replied "that's the nicest goodbye anyone has ever said to me!!" All the
rest of the family fell about laughing.
Maybe she is losing that filter between what pops into her mind and what
comes out of her mouth. She's not that old, only in her early 60's and has
recently retired as a teacher. I thought it was a little odd also that when
we were all talking together she suddenly said "Oh, excuse me, I have to do
my exercises now but I'll still be listening" and she jumped up, held on to
the back of a chair and started to lift each leg up in turn for about 5
minutes. Hmmm.

I don't have a problem if she needs to do exercises but I wonder if it was
just me that thought she might have waited for a gap in the conversation or
even until she got home?

Tweed

"Tish Silberbauer" wrote in message
...
I also like using a lot of beans - kidney beans, borlotti beans,
chickpeas, etc. Preparing the beans from scratch may taste a little
better, but tinned beans are so quick and are always in my cupboard.
They can be used as part of a pasta sauce / casserole (minestrone
style) or as part of a mexican-style dish (with ground corriander,
cumin and chilli), as part of an eastern European style stew with a
little bacon, and so on. Admittedly, mostly my efforts turn out to be
variants on the "brown stew" concept, but they taste good and are very
filling without being too fattening (mind you, you have to stay away
from the cheese and cream toppings!).

Beans can also be used to "stretch" minced (ground) meat recipes, e.g.
substituting half the quantity of minced meat for red kidney beans
when cooking bolognaise sauce. You can also "pad" bolognaise sauce by
putting in lots of grated carrot, or one of my favourites, beetroot
(which gives the sauce a spectacular colour) - they both add a bit of
sweetness to the sauce and make a little bit of meat go a *long* way.

Of course, there is any number of delicious Indian vegetarian meals.
One of my favourites, for quick, easy, healthy food, is to cut up a
handful of each of 4 - 6 different vegetables (cabbage, carrots,
beans, onion, etc), tossing a dessert-spoon of the spice mix "panch
phora" into a hot pan, adding the veggies and stir fry them until they
are al-dente (this may require putting different veggies in at
different times). Add chilli if you wish. Season to taste. Serve
with rice. super and takes about 10 minutes of cooking (and about 10
- 15 minutes before that of cutting up the vegetables). I generally
cut up the veggies until they are fine (e.g. shredded cabbage) so that
they cook quickly.

I am constitutionally unable to cook small quantities, so I always
seem to make bucket-loads. I'm lucky that all varieties of bean
casserole keep well and generally taste better the day after. If we
can't face the same meal twice in two days, I put the left-overs into
the freezer for when I can't be bothered cooking. Otherwise DH gets
it for lunch the next day (and the day after, and the day after that!)


I've learned how to cook for one. Any leftovers are either eaten the
following days or frozen. Just like you said.

I'm going through the process you're about to start (and from roughly
the same starting point) and so far I've lost about 15kg without any
extraordinary effort. I know I have a long way to go, but making some
progress is such a nice feeling. I've been following the guidelines
of a low GI diet (with varying degrees of strictness), which works for
me. I started exercising by walking a short distance and then
gradually increasing it. I began with finding it hard to walk 20
minutes at a good pace and now, 18 months later, am walking 2-3 hours
at a time (although not every day!). I also am getting out and
working in the garden more often, which is great upper-body and
stretching exercise. I find it difficult to stick to a gym routine,
so a more informal regime of getting out of doors works for me.


I like walking, especially in nice days we are having. Save on bus fares
too.
In the winter, I walk up and down the stairs of the highrise I live in.
I am not trying to lose weight, as I am underweight. But it is about the
only
exercise I am doing. It is weight bearing, and so should be good for my
bones.

Winnie

Tish

On Mon, 08 May 2006 07:17:04 +0300, Marina
wrote:

Christine K. wrote:

And I also have a few cook books concentrating on the
veggie side, which I'm not that good at. In them I'm looking for
pointers to cook simple dishes containing more veggies than the food
I've made so far. Salads are easy, but they are also cold. This is not a
problem in the summer, but in the winter I don't enjoy eating cold food.

Maybe I could give you some pointers about veggies. Get a wok pan and
stir fry veggies. Add a handful of cashew nuts to the mix. I also use a
lot of chili powder for my stir-fries. With proper seasoning, it's just
as satisfying as a meal with meat. Chopping the veggies does tend to
take some time, but the cooking itself is quick. There are lots of
frozen veggie mixes for the wok, but I find them strangely tasteless. I
don't know how they manage to remove the flavour from the veggies. /

A very quick veggie meal is pasta and tomato sauce. Just cook the pasta,
and after draining it, put it back on the stove and add the tomatoes and
heat it. I usually prefer passata to chopped tomatoes because it has a
stronger taste of tomatoes. You can add frozen peas and maize to the
sauce, and lots of fresh basil. This is staple for me for those days
that I come home tired from work and want something quick.

I've got heaps of veggie recipes, if you want to pick my brain. ;o)

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...
On 2006-05-07, Enfilade penned:


Aren't mothers helpful?

My mom also worries about my weight ... atm I'm 168, and 145-150 would
also be about right for me. I'm probably shorter than you -- I'm 5'5
-- but I seem to be dense *grin*

I once lost a ton of weight and got down to a size 10. I happened to
be extremely depressed and fairly out of touch with reality at that
point. I bought a bunch of nifty clothes, thrilled to be able to wear
them, but several coworkers pulled me aside, worried that I was
anorexic. When I'm really depressed, I just don't eat.

Same here. I lost weight when I am depressed.
I joked that I even weigh less than some of the large dogs I saw at the
vet's.
I lost weight when I cut back on my sugar intake. My
doctor warned me of becoming diabetic as I have a family history.
I have a sweet tooth, but I manage to cut back..
These days I try to go for a walk before or after I indulge in something
sweet.
I am down to a size 2 petite. I am 5' 3" and barely make it to 100 lb
My doctor is not concerned about my weight though.

Winnie



My mom *is* lighter than me and wears smaller sizes, and yay for her
and all that, she's very proud of it, but she worries me because she's
also fairly sedentary, inflexible, and prone to falls. She's already
broken her tibia a few years ago ... I would happily have her gain a
few pounds if they were muscle, and I've seriously talked to her about
trying yoga, but because she's so inflexible and has such poor
balance, she won't even go to the classes. Sigh. She's exactly the
kind of person who would benefit most from it.

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"Monique Y. Mudama" wrote in message
...

Bingo! That's exactly what I'm finding about myself. My body turns out
to be a subconscious "You're not the boss of me!" statement. Among
other things, like fear of deprivation and a desire to reward myself.
Unfortunately, it also makes me unhappy, so I really need to address
it. I need to learn both to love myself and my body, and to eat
responsibly (I guess I don't have a choice about the latter, with the
IBS thing now).

I just watched a program on TV where a GI doctor was interviewed by another
doctor about IBS. He said 70% of IBS patients are women.

Winnie

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

"badwilson" wrote in message
...
Christina Websell wrote:
I keep seeing posts on here about weight, how much is good and how
much isn't.
Yesterday we had a family reunion and the first thing my younger
uncle's wife said to me was "Oh, I'm glad to see you are still
slim." I haven't seen her for two years.
What's that about?
Does it matter to my family what my weight is? I hope not. What if
since the last time she saw me I had got enormously fat? What would
she had said then? I know what she would have said actually. "I
have a diet that you might like to go on.." She is obsessed about
being slim. Huh, I told her the thinner she is the more wrinkles
she'll have. ;-)
Tweed

Heh, maybe she's worried her husband will put on the pounds as he gets
older and since you're related, it's a good sign that you're keeping slim
;-)

I don't think it's that as my uncle is also health conscious and is pretty
slim. I just think that for some reason over the last 3-4 years it has got
*far* too important to her if weight is the first thing she notices. I
shan't be encouraging her in this attitude, nor in how proud she is of their
Mercedes. "Make sure everything is locked, it's a *Mercedes*!!"
This was when I saw them last. I wish I could learn to shut up sometimes,
but this got my goat. I found myself saying "Janet, it's a car. It isn't
more likely to be stolen around here whatever it is. I lock my little
*Citroen* too."
Although sometimes I forget and it's still here. LOL, maybe no-one wants to
steal it! It's perfect for me. Low road tax, low insurance, uses very
little petrol and room in the back to carry poultry, cats and a bale of
straw at the same time if the back seats are down. Who could want for more?
;-)

Tweed

and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat *anything*
at all.
(of course I'm bloody sure)
Mostly, though, it's non-verbal "comments" that give me the irrits. I
don't think people have *any* idea how much they communicate with
body-language.
Tish

Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.) Some of the comments:
OMG, you're so fat!
(Really, I hadn't noticed...)
Why are you so fat?
(Why are you so rude?)
You should lose weight.
(You should grow a brain...)
I liked you better when you were slim.
(Well, I never liked you at all...)
I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.
Any others?
Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.

Exactly! Rude is rude, nosy is nosy (sorry about the "catty", Cheryl,
I enjoy being "catty" myself now & then, don't think of it as "negative")
and I say instead of trying to pseudopsychoanalyze *reasons* for
comments from people (related or not) w/no manners....let 'em have
it. This has zilch to do w/my weight, but example:
Yesterday at Costco (large wholesale warehouse sales chain here):
Strange man behind me in checkout line:
"Do you have a large family?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Do you own a restaurant?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Are you going to have a big party?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "I was trying to figure out why you're buying so much
spaghetti & rice & meat.......?"
Me: "Because I only shop here once a month or so."
Strange man: "Why do you only shop here once a month?"
Me: "Because I don't like shopping here (a lie)".
Strange man: "I shop here often....it's fun to shop here."
At this point, employees made a big breakthrough w/baskets and I
*rushed* up, slammed my purchases on the checkout counter and
went as far away from him as I could get. Set a new speed record
hiking up to woman who checks your sales receipt against what
is in your basket, and *hauled a*** quickly to my truck....
My short replies to this guy were admirably restrained (for ME).
They would've been different if he had been of my race.......
Now, as they say, analyze *that*, wannabe therapists of rude people.
And forget analyzing *me*.....I'm just one of those who does NOT
talk to strangers (exception: if they are looking for something in the
store that I know its location).....

Are you sure you want to eat that?
(Ummm, YES, that's why I'm eating it)

When is your baby due?
(F*ck off you w*nker)

Have you thought about exercise?
(Yes, often...)

Helen M

Flippy wrote:
Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.) Some of the comments:

Easy way to deal with people like that start using sign language or
speaking another language people automatically change their way of dealing
with you

"dnr" wrote in message
news
and the eternal "are you sure ...?" whenever you go to eat *anything*
at all.
(of course I'm bloody sure)
Mostly, though, it's non-verbal "comments" that give me the irrits. I
don't think people have *any* idea how much they communicate with
body-language.
Tish

Speaking about weight, I've never had so many rude comments as when I
recently gained weight (due to medical reasons.) Some of the comments:
OMG, you're so fat!
(Really, I hadn't noticed...)
Why are you so fat?
(Why are you so rude?)
You should lose weight.
(You should grow a brain...)
I liked you better when you were slim.
(Well, I never liked you at all...)
I'm sure there are more but I can't think of them right now.
Any others?
Flippy in Melbourne, Australia.

Exactly! Rude is rude, nosy is nosy (sorry about the "catty", Cheryl,
I enjoy being "catty" myself now & then, don't think of it as "negative")
and I say instead of trying to pseudopsychoanalyze *reasons* for
comments from people (related or not) w/no manners....let 'em have
it. This has zilch to do w/my weight, but example:
Yesterday at Costco (large wholesale warehouse sales chain here):
Strange man behind me in checkout line:
"Do you have a large family?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Do you own a restaurant?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "Are you going to have a big party?"
Me: "No".
Strange man: "I was trying to figure out why you're buying so much
spaghetti & rice & meat.......?"
Me: "Because I only shop here once a month or so."
Strange man: "Why do you only shop here once a month?"
Me: "Because I don't like shopping here (a lie)".
Strange man: "I shop here often....it's fun to shop here."
At this point, employees made a big breakthrough w/baskets and I
*rushed* up, slammed my purchases on the checkout counter and
went as far away from him as I could get. Set a new speed record
hiking up to woman who checks your sales receipt against what
is in your basket, and *hauled a*** quickly to my truck....
My short replies to this guy were admirably restrained (for ME).
They would've been different if he had been of my race.......
Now, as they say, analyze *that*, wannabe therapists of rude people.
And forget analyzing *me*.....I'm just one of those who does NOT
talk to strangers (exception: if they are looking for something in the
store that I know its location).....

On 2006-05-08, Christina Websell penned:

Maybe she is losing that filter between what pops into her mind and
what comes out of her mouth. She's not that old, only in her early
60's and has recently

I don't think my mother's ever had that filter ...

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca

On 2006-05-08, Cheryl Perkins penned:

People around here don't seem to make such comments to strangers -
or, more likely, they do it behind the strangers' backs. That, I can
live with!

Sorta. My mom tends to think that if she says something in German,
no one will know. Unfortunately for her, German isn't exactly an
uncommon language. And it's not like I particularly want to hear her
saying, "If I ever get as fat as *her*, shoot me!" in any language.
Especially when the person in question actually did understand.

Come to think of it, I can remember her saying that kind of thing on
the base, so I was 9 or younger at the time. You don't suppose I
internalized any of that?

--
monique, who spoils Oscar unmercifully

pictures: http://www.bounceswoosh.org/rpca