OT - For those with SAD

"Joy" wrote in message
. ..
"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
For those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder, it's really, really
hard
to watch everyone else so happy and bright and hopeful and "in the
Holiday
spirit". Almost every program I watch on TV, even the news, is
extolling
the virtue of giving - but I have nothing to give; I see families
gathered
together - but my family is apart; I hear carolers singing - but my voice
is
choked with tears; I hear others talking about warm memories - but my
memories find me alone, father dead, mother too devastated to care,
brothers
older and off with friends.

On Christmas mornings I awoke to an empty house - my mom was at our next
door neighbor's house, getting some "friendship therapy" and watching
their
three children open presents from Santa. My brothers were off with their
friends overnight because they knew what was coming. I would get up and
run
to the hideous silver Christmas "tree" to see my one present. The one I
remember most is the "box" record player for my 45s - all 6 of them. But
I
also knew that "Santa" was rearing three children and couldn't afford
anything more. So I sat there alone playing and replaying my records,
actually glad it wasn't Christmas carols.

Yeah, I know this is a pattern for me, a burst of manic posting followed
by
this maudlin, whining, self-pitying depression. Believe me, it doesn't
help
to know it's coming, it hits me fresh as the first time, every time.

I know there are others here who suffer as bad or worse, and for worse
reasons than I. I'm not posting this *just* to whine, but to let other,
"normal" people here know that some of us have a hard time of it this
time
of year and lets allow a bit of leniency and try to keep from responding
in
instant anger to a post that perhaps was not fully thought out (such as
this
one).

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group
inside
our group?

And I promise to try, really try to keep this to this one post on the
subject.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

Thanks for the reminder that not everyone finds this a joyful season. My
heartfelt sympathy goes out to those who have such an affliction.

My minister has a special Christmas service on a Sunday evening in
December for people who don't feel like celebrating. She did call the
service "Blue Christmas", but has now called it "Gentle Christmas".

Hugs and purrs to you and anyone else who is depressed because of SAD or
for other reasons.

Joy

Thank you Joy, though I can't imagine you being mean in the first place.

I hope nobody thinks I was asking the group to ignore Christmas - I enjoy
those posts because I can "vicariously" appreciate the holidays reading how
others do it. It's just that sometimes I'll feel "picked on" and will lash
out at something that was totally innocuous and innocent. I try to keep
myself super aware of it but I'm still learning to be aware of what *my*
words will make others feel. Depressed people or people with chronic pain
are usually the most selfish people on the planet (especially me) - it takes
a lot of effort to "get outside of my skull" and concentrate on what others
may be suffering.


--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

Oh, sorry that should be comcast(dot)NET - I'm so used to saying com that I
keep forgetting Comcast doesn't use that.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
The one I use here is not munged, but sometimes people will have a problem
getting through so you could also use lori(dot)crews(at)comcast(dot)com.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"Winnie" wrote in message
...
On Dec 2, 10:42 am, "CatNipped" wrote:
For those of us with Seasonal Affective Disorder, it's really, really
hard
to watch everyone else so happy and bright and hopeful and "in the
Holiday
spirit". Almost every program I watch on TV, even the news, is extolling
the virtue of giving - but I have nothing to give; I see families
gathered
together - but my family is apart; I hear carolers singing - but my voice
is
choked with tears; I hear others talking about warm memories - but my
memories find me alone, father dead, mother too devastated to care,
brothers
older and off with friends.

On Christmas mornings I awoke to an empty house - my mom was at our next
door neighbor's house, getting some "friendship therapy" and watching
their
three children open presents from Santa. My brothers were off with their
friends overnight because they knew what was coming. I would get up and
run
to the hideous silver Christmas "tree" to see my one present. The one I
remember most is the "box" record player for my 45s - all 6 of them. But
I
also knew that "Santa" was rearing three children and couldn't afford
anything more. So I sat there alone playing and replaying my records,
actually glad it wasn't Christmas carols.

Yeah, I know this is a pattern for me, a burst of manic posting followed
by
this maudlin, whining, self-pitying depression. Believe me, it doesn't
help
to know it's coming, it hits me fresh as the first time, every time.

I know there are others here who suffer as bad or worse, and for worse
reasons than I. I'm not posting this *just* to whine, but to let other,
"normal" people here know that some of us have a hard time of it this
time
of year and lets allow a bit of leniency and try to keep from responding
in
instant anger to a post that perhaps was not fully thought out (such as
this
one).

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group
inside
our group?

And I promise to try, really try to keep this to this one post on the
subject.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards,
at:http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

{{{ Lori }}}.
Would you let me have your e-mail address so I can e-mail you?
Mine is at wwl10 at yahoo dot ca

Winnie

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group
inside
our group?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped



Have you ever tried a broad spectrum light? I am fortunate because I have
never suffered from SAD or any type of depression. I have had a very
satisfying life. However, my wonderful aunt has had on-and-off bouts with
depression all her life. She has noted (as have many others) that holidays
often brought on a new bout of depression. Unlike me--where I always seemed
to enjoy holidays even when presents were sparse (but love in our family was
always abundant)--she has told me that she would look forward to holidays as
a child and then always found them dissatisfying. They never lived up to
her expectations, and I think that is a common reaction. However (and this
is the reason I started this paragraph with the question), she has found
broad spectrum light therapy to be *very* helpful. She lives in Ohio, so
that could be even more important than where you live because of the reduced
amount of sunlight in winter. If you haven't tried it, it would be well
worth investigating.

MaryL

On Dec 2, 7:46*pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
.. *It's terrible
that so many people get so sad at Christmas when we're "taught" that we
should be joyful -

Nothing tops the experience I had many years ago it was before I met
Dave so I must have been in my teens and I was at a local train
station, which was surrounded by police cars so I was asking the
ticket guy was what going on when the local mad old crone spoke up and
said "Someone's thrown themselves under a train" (Incidentally it
turned out to be an accident- she'd just come from Kenya where
apparently the landscape is so flat you can see a train coming for
miles and there aren't many trains so people cross the tracks all the
time and realising she was on the wrong platform habit kicked in and
she crossed the tracks)

So I said something about that being sad and her comment was "It
always happens near Christmas- people realiset they haven't got like a
loving family and what with everyone else having families and everyone
expecting everyone to have a good time it pushes them over the edge"

Then she looked at me very intently and said "If you're not careful
you'll end up like that"

CHARMING!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

Oh my gawds, that is awful, just really awful! The old lady was obviously
projecting her own depression. As awful as it is, there's some small truth
in the saying "misery loves company". I tried touching on that earlier when
I said that those who are depressed and/or in chronic pain tend to be very,
very selfish - literally unable to get out of oneself to think like others
or think *of* others.

BTW, re "new" medicine from my pain doctor - we spent hours going across
town in morning for them to hand me a sample of Savella - another SNRI which
I've told them time after time after time are not only ineffective for me
but cause horrible side effects and worse withdrawals. So it's just back to
biting the bullet.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"Lesley" wrote in message
...
On Dec 2, 7:46 pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
.. It's terrible
that so many people get so sad at Christmas when we're "taught" that we
should be joyful -

Nothing tops the experience I had many years ago it was before I met
Dave so I must have been in my teens and I was at a local train
station, which was surrounded by police cars so I was asking the
ticket guy was what going on when the local mad old crone spoke up and
said "Someone's thrown themselves under a train" (Incidentally it
turned out to be an accident- she'd just come from Kenya where
apparently the landscape is so flat you can see a train coming for
miles and there aren't many trains so people cross the tracks all the
time and realising she was on the wrong platform habit kicked in and
she crossed the tracks)

So I said something about that being sad and her comment was "It
always happens near Christmas- people realiset they haven't got like a
loving family and what with everyone else having families and everyone
expecting everyone to have a good time it pushes them over the edge"

Then she looked at me very intently and said "If you're not careful
you'll end up like that"

CHARMING!

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs

I'm right "next door" to you if I remember well - in Houston - so we
probably get much the same weather. Even though it doesn't get terribly
cold (though it manages to cut me to the bone - not hard to do), but the
weather changes every 2 or 3 days (with usually a dreary rain day in
between), and I rarely see bright sunshine in cold weather. So I get the
extra pain from the cold, from the changing weather, and from the emotional
depression.

I'm going to see if Ben can get me one of those bulbs that Laurie suggested,
if possible.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"MaryL" -OUT-THE-LITTER wrote in message
...

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group
inside
our group?

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped



Have you ever tried a broad spectrum light? I am fortunate because I have
never suffered from SAD or any type of depression. I have had a very
satisfying life. However, my wonderful aunt has had on-and-off bouts with
depression all her life. She has noted (as have many others) that
holidays often brought on a new bout of depression. Unlike me--where I
always seemed to enjoy holidays even when presents were sparse (but love
in our family was always abundant)--she has told me that she would look
forward to holidays as a child and then always found them dissatisfying.
They never lived up to her expectations, and I think that is a common
reaction. However (and this is the reason I started this paragraph with
the question), she has found broad spectrum light therapy to be *very*
helpful. She lives in Ohio, so that could be even more important than
where you live because of the reduced amount of sunlight in winter. If
you haven't tried it, it would be well worth investigating.

MaryL

In article ,
"CatNipped" wrote:

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group inside
our group?

And I promise to try, really try to keep this to this one post on the
subject.

Shush about the one post thing. Sometimes we need to talk things out
with friends. Just mark the subject accurately and those with problems
can skip.

All I can offer is virtual hugs and real purrs and a little sympathy -
holiday get-togethers are always hard for me, honestly, and I deal with
bipolar depression at random intervals, sometimes with triggers,
sometimes not. Cards help, so put yourself back on the card list as
receive-only next year, darnit.

--
minnow ^..^

http://twitter.com/taheenahana
http://www.flickr.com/photos/minnow/

Thank you so much for the caring. I'm still going to try to keep the
whining to a minimum - it does get tiresome, even from within my head!

One thing I, and at least one other who emailed me saying they had SAD or
depressive feelings, was hoping we could think of any interesting, light and
funny threads to read and participate in, it would help get our minds off of
the sad things in our lives that won't go away with just wishing.

Personally, I'm going through all my DVDs trying to find funny and up-beat
movies I've enjoyed before. Even the third or fourth times watching doesn't
mean I can't lose myself in it again.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped

See the RPCA FAQ site, by Mark Edwards, at:
http://www.professional-geek.com/rpcablog/

"moonglow minnow" wrote in message
...
In article ,
"CatNipped" wrote:

And, if you wouldn't mind, if it doesn't invade your privacy, could you
identify yourself if you also suffer from SAD (or even just regular
depression) so we can keep tabs on each other as our own little group
inside
our group?

And I promise to try, really try to keep this to this one post on the
subject.

Shush about the one post thing. Sometimes we need to talk things out
with friends. Just mark the subject accurately and those with problems
can skip.

All I can offer is virtual hugs and real purrs and a little sympathy -
holiday get-togethers are always hard for me, honestly, and I deal with
bipolar depression at random intervals, sometimes with triggers,
sometimes not. Cards help, so put yourself back on the card list as
receive-only next year, darnit.

--
minnow ^..^

http://twitter.com/taheenahana
http://www.flickr.com/photos/minnow/

On Dec 3, 1:46*pm, "CatNipped" wrote:
Thank you so much for the caring. *I'm still going to try to keep the
whining to a minimum - it does get tiresome, even from within my head!

One thing I, and at least one other who emailed me saying they had SAD or
depressive feelings, was hoping we could think of any interesting, light and
funny threads to read and participate in, it would help get our minds off of
the sad things in our lives that won't go away with just wishing.

Personally, I'm going through all my DVDs trying to find funny and up-beat
movies I've enjoyed before. *Even the third or fourth times watching doesn't
mean I can't lose myself in it again.


I'm begging you, everyone else, and every god out of Bulfinch's
esteemed book: BATMAN!!! Not this souped up dreck we are force fed in
recent years, but the only one that counts: the original, one and only
true Batman as played by Adam West! There was a feature-length movie I
haven't been able to track down, and for the one who can find or make
me a copy I shall reimburse in cash or in kind.

Because some days you not only can't get rid of a bomb, you can't get
one in your DVD player!

Blessed be,
Baha

"CatNipped" wrote in message
...
I'm right "next door" to you if I remember well - in Houston - so we
probably get much the same weather. Even though it doesn't get terribly
cold (though it manages to cut me to the bone - not hard to do), but the
weather changes every 2 or 3 days (with usually a dreary rain day in
between), and I rarely see bright sunshine in cold weather. So I get the
extra pain from the cold, from the changing weather, and from the
emotional depression.

I'm going to see if Ben can get me one of those bulbs that Laurie
suggested, if possible.

--
Hugs,

CatNipped
See all our masters at: http://www.PossiblePlaces.com/CatNipped


Either you misunderstood my comments or I did not make myself clear.
Possibly both. I have never had SAD and have not used light therapy, so I
was not trying to compare your weather to mine. I was describing my aunt's
situation. She has had depression/SAD all her life, and she has found that
broad spectrum lamps are extremely helpful. She lives in *Ohio,* so she does
have much colder weather and many more "grey" days. Incidentally, even my
weather is considerably different than Houston weather, even though I don't
live that far away. You get far more rainy days. In fact, it sometimes
seems as if I run into a major thunderstorm every time I head to Houston.
We can have beautiful sunny days during the same time that the Gulf coast is
under torrential downpours. All of that can contribute to a person's sense
of well-being (or lack of same). There are times when I will step outside
into the most glorious sunshine, and I immediately feel happy and fulfilled.

MaryL