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Your Daughters Boyfriend



 
 
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  #21  
Old May 8th 04, 01:26 AM
Tiners
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"Cat Protector" wrote in message
news:y%Smc.25283$Z%[email protected]
Well everyone has a choice. You can lead a horse to water but you can't
force them to drink. A lot of abused women seem to believe everything they
are telling them including that is their fault. If the guy hits them then
they simply shrug it off and keep taking the abuse. If they leave the
relationship then 9 times out of 10 they go back because the other party
says they're sorry and won't do it again or that they'll change. But of
course that's a lie and the cycle continues. I usually say that nobody
deserves to be abused like that but they also made the choice. They can
continue to be the victim or they can fight back, escape the relationship,
and get help.

The abusers also need to really see what it is to be the victim and get
help. Of course I am not sure how effective therapy is. It seems like a

lot
of abusers hide behind excuses like poor childhood, broken home, divorced
parents, etc. The defense lawyers use this one a lot when the abuser is
accused of a crime. Of course this just seems to excuse the abusive
behavior. I think abusers need to stand up and say they have a problem,

then
get help. It is all about choices. But no animal should be abused. This 17
year old girl needs to finally wake up and leave this guy or she will be
this guy's next victim.

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"RobZip" wrote in message
...
Abusers have an incredible ability to be manipulative of all of those

they
encounter in the course of and as a consequence of their actions. The

women
usually hear an array of excuses and explanations. I've heard of some

who
convinced a woman that they wouldn't have acted out so badly if it

wasn't
for the strong love they have for them. Now how warped is that? Others

have
a multitude of rationales to shift the blame for such actions to the

woman.
Along with this comes the psychological modeling in which the abuser

plays
on the woman's already damaged self-esteem. He convinces her that she
wouldn't stand a chance being on her own, that she wouldn't be worthy

and
capable of survival in a truly equal relationship, etc.

When living in Tampa I was in an area with a heavy Puerto Rican

population.
Certain parts of their culture have a much different view on

relationship
power and control than white Anglos. I had a very pretty Puerto Rican
neighbor girl who was flirting with me, hanging around, and generally
'stepping out of line' in order to evoke a controlling response from her
boyfriend whom she suspected was losing interest in her. She told me

that
if
he really cared, he would order her to stay in the apartment, avoid me,

and
probably threaten to physically punish her if that wasn't part of his
initial expression of displeasure at her behavior.

Unless women who are being abused break free from the relationship
and seek help they'll continue to allow themselves to be victims. It

is
all
about power and control.


These women find it hard to accept that they DO have control. They've

only
relinquished it on bad terms to someone else.

An abuser who promises to change and swears he won't do it again most

likely
really and truly believes what he's saying. But there are many reasons

why
that always fails. Foremost is that one has to honestly take their own
inventory and understand it before they have any hope of changing it.
On what authority do I say this? I grew up in a home with a physically
abusive father. I swore I would never treat my wife like that when I got
married.

Well guess what? Along the way I never learned any of the proper coping
skills or honest interpersonal relationship skills. How could I?

Everything
was a masquerade to shift blame and deflect the truth. Although I never
sought out to repeat the violent mistakes of my father, I had the same

bad
interpersonal and coping skills he did. It was all I ever had a chance

to
learn. It was the only example I had. The natural byproduct was that I
bullied, punched, swore and manipulated my way through two disastrous
marriages. At age 36 I was finally tired enough of my life, beaten and

ready
to do something about it. My pride was gone. Funny - most of us think we
have all the answers and it's the rest of the world that is so screwed

up.
That's why we are able to do the things we do. You can't make change
meaningful until you lose the false pride and are ready to have every
element of your life taken apart. I invested the next 6 years in one on

one
therapy, 12 step abusers programs, group therapy abuser sessions, etc.

It
wasn't an easy or quick fix. Serious matters are never resolved easily.

It's
tough to sit and listen to a group who has been there and done that take
your ass apart piece by piece, telling you everything that is wrong with

how
you think about everything - and you know that they're right. The good

news
is that once you are willing to acknowledge and accept those things, the
replacement skills are much easier to practice.

Unless a person is willing to make that kind of effort for their own

self
improvement, the cycle will continue. That's why the young lady involved
needs to drop this guy like last weeks garbage. But since she is already
defending him I guess we really don't need a crystal ball to see where

this
is going. I sincerely hope that both of them are sterile....



When your 17 and have a boyfriend of course your gonna stick up for him
because your 17 and you think there's no one else in the world for you
beside's this guy. One day she'll wake up and get a good kick in the
pants.. and leave him. Probably after she's the guy's next victim. Trust
me I know from experience.. nothing like the cat tortures or anything but I
was 17 once with an abusive boyfriend.

Tina


  #22  
Old May 8th 04, 02:35 AM
'cedes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Living with his 17 year old girlfriend"???? Isn't this called statutory
rape in some states? This girl is underage and no doubt very low class. WTF
is the girls parents, to allow a 17 year old to be living with her
boyfriend? sighhhhhhhhhhhh This girl is doomed.

"James Marz" wrote in message
om...
What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz

For full article
http://www.freep.com/news/locmac/peta14_20040414.htm



  #23  
Old May 8th 04, 02:35 AM
'cedes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

"Living with his 17 year old girlfriend"???? Isn't this called statutory
rape in some states? This girl is underage and no doubt very low class. WTF
is the girls parents, to allow a 17 year old to be living with her
boyfriend? sighhhhhhhhhhhh This girl is doomed.

"James Marz" wrote in message
om...
What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz

For full article
http://www.freep.com/news/locmac/peta14_20040414.htm



  #26  
Old May 8th 04, 01:08 PM
Scumball
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

God, I never cease to be amazed at the unnaturally Puritanical views of many
Americans to age and consent issues.
In India, the age of consent is 13 !
In Holland, I THINK it's 14.
In most other countries (that have one), it's 16.
Only in American states is it 18, 21,31 or 93 !
Jees already !

"'cedes" wrote in message
...
"Living with his 17 year old girlfriend"???? Isn't this called statutory
rape in some states? This girl is underage and no doubt very low class.

WTF
is the girls parents, to allow a 17 year old to be living with her
boyfriend? sighhhhhhhhhhhh This girl is doomed.

"James Marz" wrote in message
om...
What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz

For full article
http://www.freep.com/news/locmac/peta14_20040414.htm





  #27  
Old May 8th 04, 01:08 PM
Scumball
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default

God, I never cease to be amazed at the unnaturally Puritanical views of many
Americans to age and consent issues.
In India, the age of consent is 13 !
In Holland, I THINK it's 14.
In most other countries (that have one), it's 16.
Only in American states is it 18, 21,31 or 93 !
Jees already !

"'cedes" wrote in message
...
"Living with his 17 year old girlfriend"???? Isn't this called statutory
rape in some states? This girl is underage and no doubt very low class.

WTF
is the girls parents, to allow a 17 year old to be living with her
boyfriend? sighhhhhhhhhhhh This girl is doomed.

"James Marz" wrote in message
om...
What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz

For full article
http://www.freep.com/news/locmac/peta14_20040414.htm





  #28  
Old May 8th 04, 03:17 PM
.oO rach Oo.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default




What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz



For everything he did to those cats, I'd do the same to him TENFOLD. As for
the daughter, she would either agree to stand by her cats or get the hell
out of the house. By supporting this piece of ****, she is condoning his
behaviour.

rach


  #29  
Old May 8th 04, 03:17 PM
.oO rach Oo.
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default




What would you do if your daughters boyfriend did this to your cats?



This was taken from an article by Amber Hunt Martin.

start article

It wasn't just that Edward Baker allegedly bashed the cat in the face.
Or that he chased it around the blood-spattered laundry room. Or that
he extinguished cigarettes on another cat's paws.

It was, authorities said, that he acted methodically, intentionally.


Baker, 20, is charged with animal torture, a felony punishable by up
to 4 years in prison upon conviction. Police said Baker was living
with his 17-year-old girlfriend and her family when he began
tormenting and beating two orange tabbies named Crystal and Haley,
ages 8 and 3.

Crystal had been bashed in the face with a bottle of laundry detergent
so hard, her teeth pierced the bottle. The impact broke her lower jaw
and cracked her sternum and upper jaw.

Her daughter, Haley, had singed fur and charred, black paw pads,
apparently from being burned by a lighter or cigarettes.

Both cats are healing at home, said their owner, Kim Steis.

"They're still a little afraid when someone walks down the hallway,"
she said Tuesday. "I don't think they'll ever be the same."

Steis, whose daughter Tia is still dating Baker, said the man moved
into her Clinton Township ranch in December. Baker seemed friendly,
she said, but the cats clearly didn't like him.

Steis discovered that Haley's left front leg was broken in January.
Steis didn't know how it happened, but she noticed that the usually
people-friendly pet raced from a room when Baker entered.

Then, on Feb. 21, she heard Crystal wailing in the laundry room.

She said she found the cat on her back near the furnace, hissing at
Baker, who hovered nearby.

Crystal's mouth was bloody and swollen; both eyes were bruised.

Steis has paid $1,767 in veterinarian bills.

Baker's girlfriend is standing by him and has offered to testify on
his behalf.

end article

Well, What would you like to do or say to this man?


James Marz



For everything he did to those cats, I'd do the same to him TENFOLD. As for
the daughter, she would either agree to stand by her cats or get the hell
out of the house. By supporting this piece of ****, she is condoning his
behaviour.

rach


  #30  
Old May 8th 04, 03:45 PM
Mary
external usenet poster
 
Posts: n/a
Default


"Scumball" wrote in message
...
God, I never cease to be amazed at the unnaturally Puritanical views of

many
Americans to age and consent issues.
In India, the age of consent is 13


In India, women are chattal.


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