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#1
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
Greetings:
Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver. Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next! We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear. Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself? Thanks - Amy |
#2
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
"MaryLyon" wrote in message
oups.com... Greetings: Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver. Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next! We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear. Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself? Thanks - Amy I think he has already crossed the line. As much as I love cats, and have put up with my "Bitch Cat From Hell" biting and scratching me, I still wouldn't risk losing my eye or other serious injury. Not that I would give the cat away, but you definitely need to keep him away from you until you are sure he won't injure you again. I would seriously consider, at least temporarily, medicating the cat. Vets now-a-days are a lot more knowledgeable about this and yours should be able to safely prescribe something that will keep your cat from attacking you. Hugs, CatNipped |
#3
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when he
wants to.. why should he stop? Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog.. There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that cutting open your face is not going to go. -- Will~ "... so that's how liberty ends, in a round of applause." Queen Amidala, The revenge of the Syth. "MaryLyon" wrote in message oups.com... Greetings: Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver. Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next! We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear. Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself? Thanks - Amy |
#4
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
"Willow" wrote in message . net... Cat's getting what he wants, more attention... and scaring you away when he wants to.. why should he stop? Gaya learned the hard way not to jump my face.. once and for all... now she's cuddly, purring and totally loving but when she gets aggressive, one look from me sends her looking for another victim.. generally the dog.. There's a world between beating up animals and teaching your cat that cutting open your face is not going to go. -- I have to agree. I would have slapped this cat by now. Yes, I mean a tap more than anything with power behind it. But I sure would have. Beast to beast, since this is all she seems to understand. |
#5
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
MaryLyon wrote: Thanks - Amy Yeah, get DH to handle this, not you. He should defend you from her, by whatever means is appropriate. |
#6
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
On Fri, 09 Dec 2005 12:42:12 -0800, MaryLyon wrote:
Greetings: Thanks to all who gave me such interesting advice on how to help my husband's cat stop hating my guts. We took many of the comments to heart and put them to use. I stopped bringing the broom with me whenever I was around the cat - I didn't want him to see me as a threat. We began letting the cat into the bedroom so he could lounge on the bed all day and sleep with us at night. In addition, we spent a lot of time with my husband petting him with me around (all three of us on the bed), with me petting and cooing, too, so kitty would associate me with good feelings. I also became the exclusive feeder and treat-giver. Things improved slightly, and kitty even cuddled up with me and purred and made biscuits on my stomach a couple of times. I thought we had finally solved the problem - he had access to my husband, the bed, and lots more positive attention. But unfortunately, he has slowly become even more brazenly aggressive. He attacked me in my face earlier this week, slicing my eyelid and giving me a couple of nasty scratches on my cheek. He regularly terrorizes me if I'm alone with him in the bedroom. He will stalk me and pounce at me, tail waving and with a menacing look on his face - definitely NOT playing. Last night, he attacked me (on face and arm) in my SLEEP, which was really really scary. I have become increasingly afraid of this cat, which is so uncomfortable, because I love all animals. I do not want to even consider giving him away (which my husband has suggested) because I believe animals are a lifetime commitment. But I'm starting to wonder if this is beginning to cross the line...my family - all long-time cat lovers, are appalled at the problems I'm having with this guy (cat, not husband). I've become almost too scared to sleep with this cat around, wondering what he'll do to me next! We consulted with a local cat veterinarian today, and he suggested squirting the cat with water when he goes after me. I was surprised by this advice, but the vet said that the cat hates me so much already, that every time I shrink from him or allow him to run me out of the room, he feels like he was won. He said that my feeding the cat and giving him treats only enhances my submissive position, in the cat's eyes. The vet suggested that this is purely a control issue, and that I have to assert my authority with the water squirting. He also suggested Feliway might help kitty feel less aggressive. He, like many of you, did not want to try medication except as a last resort, which I was very glad to hear. Has anyone had a cat become MORE aggressive, even when everyone is trying to make him feel more loved and welcome? I always thought heirarchy issues were more the domain of dogs than cats. Also, what is the line for completely intolerable behavior? I know many people would say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself? Thanks - Amy IMHO Looking at the situation logically, I would give up on the cat before giving up an eye. And again, logically, who could you give this cat to without the possibility of it attacking another person, perhaps a child.? Perhaps a no-kill shelter would be the answer. MLB |
#7
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up
MaryLyon wrote: I know many people would say scratching me in the eye ( my husband, who LOVES this cat, was so horrified when I emerrged, bleeding, from the other room), but I don't want to give up on this guy! I believe he can be reformed, and that we can have a nice relationship! Or am I just fooling myself? Hi Amy, Have you considered consulting with a professional cat behaviorist? That's what I would recommend in your situation. Your vet should be able to recommend someone in your area. Also, I would not let the cat in the bedroom when you are sleeping, at least for now. It sounds much too dangerous at this point. Good luck. I really hope you can work this out. Lauren |
#8
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up - Kick that cats ass! stop @#$@# around
MaryLyon wrote: Thanks - Amy don't be a target, she's making sport of you. ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work too) pop it up next to her...on the ground |
#9
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up - Kick that cats ass! stop @#$@# around
"whitershadeofpale" wrote:
MaryLyon wrote: Thanks - Amy don't be a target, she's making sport of you. ooo! i'd suprise her good, with say..a water ballon...(condoms work too) Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them. |
#10
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Husband's cat hates me - follow up - Kick that cats ass! stop @#$@# around
John Doe wrote: Especially since you don't have anything better to do with them. you're the one who don't like pussy too much why I've never heard of such! |
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