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WHO CARES!



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 16th 07, 08:45 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Isaiah Guakamoli
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1
Default WHO CARES!

This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.

  #2  
Old February 16th 07, 09:11 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Jennifer Thompson-Fleet
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 16
Default WHO CARES!

Isaiah Guakamoli wrote:
This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


LOL....and you, not-so-kind-Sir, shouldn't waste your time trying to
communicate in a public forum by way of the written (typed) word until
you learn how to spell and use punctuation correctly.

Back under your bridge, you teeny, tiny, insignificant troll.

My most tepid regards,

Sylvester's mom (still laughing out loud - what a moron)



  #3  
Old February 16th 07, 09:20 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
dgk
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,268
Default WHO CARES!

On 16 Feb 2007 11:45:32 -0800, "Isaiah Guakamoli"
wrote:

This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


-1
  #4  
Old February 16th 07, 09:32 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Matthew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,930
Default WHO CARES!


"Isaiah Guakamoli"


snipped for being posted useless want a be troll

Try and become a more interesting troll. Here read about it. Also try
using spell checker it might make you look more reputable.

In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who enters an established
community such as an online discussion forum and intentionally tries to
cause disruption, often in the form of posting messages that are
inflammatory, insulting, incorrect, inaccurate, or off-topic, with the
intent of provoking a reaction from others. Trolls can also be existing
members of such a community that rarely post and often contribute no useful
information to the thread, but instead make argumentative posts in an
attempt to discredit another person, more often than not based on what they
thought was said rather than what was actually said by the other person,
concentrating almost exclusively on facts irrelevant to the point of the
conversation, with the intent of provoking a reaction from others. The
latter are primarily, though not always juveniles from other countries who
don't have enough understanding of the language to realize that there is
nothing to argue about, the points are truly irrelevant to the conversation,
or they just don't care and are simply trying to cause the other poster
grief with their frivolous and irrelevant arguments


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_troll
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wikipedia:Troll

What is the difference between a "troll" and a "stupid person"?

If stupidity is unwillingness to learn, that still leaves out the non-stupid
malicious trollers. It also leaves out the stupid people who don't engage in
trolling

Troll Humor


More troll fun

(added in December 2006, Written by Martin Calderwood)



Here are a dozen more fun Trollinitions. Remember the more of these
you understand the better you will be able to communicate with the Trolls
you might meet wondering around in the night. As usual the 'English'
equivalent is provided at the end.



Trolloween: A day Trolls dress up in disguise and/or can go out at
night among humans without standing out too much celebrated on October 31st.
(Halloween)



Troll or Treat: What young Trolls do while celebrating Trolloween.
Warning to Humans, it is better to give someone dressed as a Troll a few
extra treats because if it is a real troll you do not want a Troll trick
played on you for being stingy. (Trick or Treat)



Trollibration: A festive Troll activity held for a variety of reasons
not the least of which is because they just want to. (Celebration)



Trollopoly: A favorite game played by trolls who try to buy up the
most troll caves, underground gardens and mineral mines to become the
richest most greedy troll in the end. (Monopoly)



Trollicious: Very tasty to a troll (Delicious)



'CTR' Cardiac Trollminary Resuscitation: Stomping or jumping on a
Troll's chest to restart its heart. (Alternate method, hitting with a heavy
wooden club several times.) (Sometimes called TTT for Trolldiac,
Trollminary Trollsusatation) (CPR)



Trollegiance: Troll Loyalty (Allegiance )



Trollagory: A story with a moral using a troll as a major character
( Allegory)



Trollscillations: Vibrations or movement in the ground or area caused
by a large troll moving nearby. (Oscillations)



Rehabilitrolltions: When a troll 'goes bad' he or she is sent through
Rehabilitrolltion to set him or her right again. (Rehabilitation)



Trollucinations: When a Troll accidentally eats bad mushrooms or gets
a high fever they sometimes see things that are not there. These are called
Trollucinations. (Hallucinations)



Trolltection: When you have a Troll body guard he keeps you save by
providing Trolltecton at all times. (Protection)







Here are a few editions to our collection of troll humor published in
2004.. These are also written by our Master Trollologist, Martin
Calderwood. We hope you enjoy these fun plays on words and jokes.



TROLLINITIONS


1) Anytime a troll child is naughty a large adult will punish him or
her. This is known as being in the 'Big Trollble' . (trouble)

2) A Troll who travels of the country telling stories and singing
songs for his keep is called a Trollbador. (Troubadour)

3) A very unique troll is said to be ' One in a tarollion' .
(trillion)

4) The favorite ride in a Troll Amusement Park is the
'Trollercoaster'. (rollercoaster)

5) If a female Troll asks you want you like about her she is '
trolling' for compliments.

6) When you look at the inside of a Troll using a camera or scope you
are giving him or her a 'trollenoscopy'.

7) An all-day sucker eaten by a Troll Is called a 'Trollipop'.
(Lollipop)

8) When Trolls yodel they say 'Trolldaladywho'. (yodaladyhoo)

9) A big twisting wind caused by a troll him is called a 'Trollnado'.
(tornado)

10) Troll's have first level schooling at a 'Trollementary School'
(Elementary)





TROLL HUMOR


1) Vlad Troll: Where do Troll Vampires live.

Drac Troll: Trollsavania, of course.





2) Rok: Troll: "Where are Troll movies made?"

Stony Troll: "Trollywood!"





3) Q. What are a Trolls favorite Shows to watch on Trollovision?"

A. The Trollve o'clock news, For Whom the Bell Trolls, Trolling
for Dollars, and naturally anything featuring the Norwegian Trolls Sports
Team!




4) Zrok: "Do Trolls celebrate Christmas?"

Brap: "Yes, mostly because of Carol."

Zrok: "Carol? Who's Carol?"

Brap: "Carol Troll."

Zrok: "Yes, in the song "Deck The Halls".

Brap: "Oh yes, Troll the Ancient Yuletide Carol."




5) "What would we ride on if we visited San Francisco?" asked
the little girl Troll.

"Why the Troll-ey car of course." replied Pa Troll





6) Riddle.

What famous play involving Trolls do these two words
represent?

Equal, emaciated

Pier Gaunt




7) Troll Boy: "I learned my first human words today!"

Mama Troll: "Oh? What were they?"

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll! What does that mean?"

Mama Troll: "He said, "Go away! I'm not ready to be around you! Now
help me fix dinner."

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll!"




8) What is the difference between a Troll born North of the
Arctic Circle and a Troll

born South of the Arctic Circle?

A Northen Troll says "God Morgen."

A Southern Troll says "God Morgen ,ya all."










It is said that Trolls have a great sense of humor about themselves and
their world. This humor is reflected in the creation of many words and
phrases that sound a lot like the words we use but that have special meaning
to Trolls. Here are a few samples. (Included with each is the 'similar' word
the Trolls used.) Also included are a few 'troll jokes' at the end.



1) Con-troll: A Troll who wants to take charge of everything is said to be'con-troll-ing.
(control)



2) Ex-troll: When a Troll talks about him or herself or about another Troll
and how good they are it is called 'ex-troll-ing' their virtues. (extol)



3) Troll-iday: Trolls celebrate many holidays like everyone else but there
are also special days that only they celebrate called 'Troll-idays'.
(holiday)



4) Troll-dition: Something Trolls do every year or some special action or
activity done regularly especially on 'Trollidays'. (tradition)



5) Troll-erant: A Troll who has lots of patience (especially with humans)
and who puts up with a lot of different things is said to be very
'Troll-erant'. (tolerant)



6) Troll-drums: A Troll who is down or depressed is said to be "In the
Troll-drums" (doldrums)



7) Pa-Troll: When one or more Trolls go out and check an area or to watch
for problems they are on 'Pa-Troll'. (patrol)



8) Troll-up: A Troll with loose actions or morals is called a Troll-up.
(trollop)



9) Troll-doll: A really beautiful Troll is called a 'Troll-doll'.



10) Ma-Troll-nal/Pa-Troll-nal: A mommy troll has 'Ma-Troll-nal' instincts.
(maternal) And of course daddy trolls have 'Pa-Troll-nal' instincts.
(paternal)



11) Troll-some: Any fun and growing activity young Trolls join in is said to
be 'Trollsome'. (wholesome)



12) Troll-tellite Dish: The thing Trolls have on their homes to help them
watch Troll TV is a 'Troll-talite' Dish. (satellite dish)



13) Troll-ex: Either a Trolls favorite watch (or his former spouse) is
called a 'Troll-ex' (Rolex)



14) Troll-egence: When a Troll gives his word to be a friend or to do
something he or she are pledging their 'Troll-egiance'. (allegiance)



15) Troll-ogy: Three books about Trolls (or even read by a Troll) are called
a Troll-ogy. (trilogy)





Troll jokes: (all original in context if not in idea)



1)

Troll School Teacher: Okay Drog, use Norway, Sweden and Denmark in a
sentence.

Drog: Okay, dar is Nor-vay yew can Sveden da coffee wit sugar and Denmark it
as sour.



2)

Troll School Teacher: How does a Scottish Troll express gratitude fer da
sheep he is 'bout ta eat?

Jarg: Dat's easy. He says 'taks fer mutton'





3)

Troll School Teacher: Why should Trolls never us drugs?

Angh: Because Trolls don't want to be stoned





4)

Troll Father: Vat is yer favorite type of music son?

Troll Son: Hard rock music of course.





5)

Troll Mother: I thought I told yew not ta listen ta dat religious music.

Troll Daughter: I know but vhen I heardit I fell in love wit it.

Troll Mother: And vat is da name of dis song?

Troll Daughter: Rock of Ages! It says 'Rock of Ages Cliff fer me, let me
hide myself in-dee'.


  #5  
Old February 16th 07, 09:33 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Matthew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,930
Default WHO CARES!

You give him a -1. I would not even rate him it was not even a half way bad
attempt at being a Troll

"dgk" wrote in message
news
On 16 Feb 2007 11:45:32 -0800, "Isaiah Guakamoli"
wrote:

This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


-1



  #6  
Old February 16th 07, 10:50 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Big Al
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 13
Default WHO CARES!

On Feb 16, 1:33 pm, "Matthew" wrote:
You give him a -1. I would not even rate him it was not even a half way bad
attempt at being a Troll

"dgk" wrote in message

news
On 16 Feb 2007 11:45:32 -0800, "Isaiah Guakamoli"
wrote:


This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


-1


everyone up to this point, EXCEPT the original poster, THANK YOU for
making me howlingly-laugh-out-loud just now, reading your responses.
That was a refreshing break from mostly crying over the last several
days. (My beloved cat died on Monday.) Now I am intrigued and need to
go read about shaving cats.

  #7  
Old February 16th 07, 10:53 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
sheelagh
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,427
Default WHO CARES!

On 16 Feb, 20:32, "Matthew" wrote:
"Isaiah Guakamoli"

snipped for being posted useless want a be troll

Try and become a more interesting troll. Here read about it. Also try
using spell checker it might make you look more reputable.

In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who enters an established
community such as an online discussion forum and intentionally tries to
cause disruption, often in the form of posting messages that are
inflammatory, insulting, incorrect, inaccurate, or off-topic, with the
intent of provoking a reaction from others. Trolls can also be existing
members of such a community that rarely post and often contribute no useful
information to the thread, but instead make argumentative posts in an
attempt to discredit another person, more often than not based on what they
thought was said rather than what was actually said by the other person,
concentrating almost exclusively on facts irrelevant to the point of the
conversation, with the intent of provoking a reaction from others. The
latter are primarily, though not always juveniles from other countries who
don't have enough understanding of the language to realize that there is
nothing to argue about, the points are truly irrelevant to the conversation,
or they just don't care and are simply trying to cause the other poster
grief with their frivolous and irrelevant arguments

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interne...ikipedia:Troll

What is the difference between a "troll" and a "stupid person"?

If stupidity is unwillingness to learn, that still leaves out the non-stupid
malicious trollers. It also leaves out the stupid people who don't engage in
trolling

Troll Humor

More troll fun

(added in December 2006, Written by Martin Calderwood)

Here are a dozen more fun Trollinitions. Remember the more of these
you understand the better you will be able to communicate with the Trolls
you might meet wondering around in the night. As usual the 'English'
equivalent is provided at the end.

Trolloween: A day Trolls dress up in disguise and/or can go out at
night among humans without standing out too much celebrated on October 31st.
(Halloween)

Troll or Treat: What young Trolls do while celebrating Trolloween.
Warning to Humans, it is better to give someone dressed as a Troll a few
extra treats because if it is a real troll you do not want a Troll trick
played on you for being stingy. (Trick or Treat)

Trollibration: A festive Troll activity held for a variety of reasons
not the least of which is because they just want to. (Celebration)

Trollopoly: A favorite game played by trolls who try to buy up the
most troll caves, underground gardens and mineral mines to become the
richest most greedy troll in the end. (Monopoly)

Trollicious: Very tasty to a troll (Delicious)

'CTR' Cardiac Trollminary Resuscitation: Stomping or jumping on a
Troll's chest to restart its heart. (Alternate method, hitting with a heavy
wooden club several times.) (Sometimes called TTT for Trolldiac,
Trollminary Trollsusatation) (CPR)

Trollegiance: Troll Loyalty (Allegiance )

Trollagory: A story with a moral using a troll as a major character
( Allegory)

Trollscillations: Vibrations or movement in the ground or area caused
by a large troll moving nearby. (Oscillations)

Rehabilitrolltions: When a troll 'goes bad' he or she is sent through
Rehabilitrolltion to set him or her right again. (Rehabilitation)

Trollucinations: When a Troll accidentally eats bad mushrooms or gets
a high fever they sometimes see things that are not there. These are called
Trollucinations. (Hallucinations)

Trolltection: When you have a Troll body guard he keeps you save by
providing Trolltecton at all times. (Protection)

Here are a few editions to our collection of troll humor published in
2004.. These are also written by our Master Trollologist, Martin
Calderwood. We hope you enjoy these fun plays on words and jokes.

TROLLINITIONS

1) Anytime a troll child is naughty a large adult will punish him or
her. This is known as being in the 'Big Trollble' . (trouble)

2) A Troll who travels of the country telling stories and singing
songs for his keep is called a Trollbador. (Troubadour)

3) A very unique troll is said to be ' One in a tarollion' .
(trillion)

4) The favorite ride in a Troll Amusement Park is the
'Trollercoaster'. (rollercoaster)

5) If a female Troll asks you want you like about her she is '
trolling' for compliments.

6) When you look at the inside of a Troll using a camera or scope you
are giving him or her a 'trollenoscopy'.

7) An all-day sucker eaten by a Troll Is called a 'Trollipop'.
(Lollipop)

8) When Trolls yodel they say 'Trolldaladywho'. (yodaladyhoo)

9) A big twisting wind caused by a troll him is called a 'Trollnado'.
(tornado)

10) Troll's have first level schooling at a 'Trollementary School'
(Elementary)

TROLL HUMOR

1) Vlad Troll: Where do Troll Vampires live.

Drac Troll: Trollsavania, of course.

2) Rok: Troll: "Where are Troll movies made?"

Stony Troll: "Trollywood!"

3) Q. What are a Trolls favorite Shows to watch on Trollovision?"

A. The Trollve o'clock news, For Whom the Bell Trolls, Trolling
for Dollars, and naturally anything featuring the Norwegian Trolls Sports
Team!

4) Zrok: "Do Trolls celebrate Christmas?"

Brap: "Yes, mostly because of Carol."

Zrok: "Carol? Who's Carol?"

Brap: "Carol Troll."

Zrok: "Yes, in the song "Deck The Halls".

Brap: "Oh yes, Troll the Ancient Yuletide Carol."

5) "What would we ride on if we visited San Francisco?" asked
the little girl Troll.

"Why the Troll-ey car of course." replied Pa Troll

6) Riddle.

What famous play involving Trolls do these two words
represent?

Equal, emaciated

Pier Gaunt

7) Troll Boy: "I learned my first human words today!"

Mama Troll: "Oh? What were they?"

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll! What does that mean?"

Mama Troll: "He said, "Go away! I'm not ready to be around you! Now
help me fix dinner."

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll!"

8) What is the difference between a Troll born North of the
Arctic Circle and a Troll

born South of the Arctic Circle?

A Northen Troll says "God Morgen."

A Southern Troll says "God Morgen ,ya all."

It is said that Trolls have a great sense of humor about themselves and
their world. This humor is reflected in the creation of many words and
phrases that sound a lot like the words we use but that have special meaning
to Trolls. Here are a few samples. (Included with each is the 'similar' word
the Trolls used.) Also included are a few 'troll jokes' at the end.

1) Con-troll: A Troll who wants to take charge of everything is said to be'con-troll-ing.
(control)

2) Ex-troll: When a Troll talks about him or herself or about another Troll
and how good they are it is called 'ex-troll-ing' their virtues. (extol)

3) Troll-iday: Trolls celebrate many holidays like everyone else but there
are also special days that only they celebrate called 'Troll-idays'.
(holiday)

4) Troll-dition: Something Trolls do every year or some special action or
activity done regularly especially on 'Trollidays'. (tradition)

5) Troll-erant: A Troll who has lots of patience (especially with humans)
and who puts up with a lot of different things is said to be very
'Troll-erant'. (tolerant)

6) Troll-drums: A Troll who is down or depressed is said to be "In the
Troll-drums" (doldrums)

7) Pa-Troll: When one or more Trolls go out and check an area or to watch
for problems they are on 'Pa-Troll'. (patrol)

8) Troll-up: A Troll with loose actions or morals is called a Troll-up.
(trollop)

9) Troll-doll: A really beautiful Troll is called a 'Troll-doll'.

10) Ma-Troll-nal/Pa-Troll-nal: A mommy troll has 'Ma-Troll-nal' instincts.
(maternal) And of course daddy trolls have 'Pa-Troll-nal' instincts.
(paternal)

11) Troll-some: Any fun and growing activity young Trolls join in is said to
be 'Trollsome'. (wholesome)

12) Troll-tellite Dish: The thing Trolls have on their homes to help them
watch Troll TV is a 'Troll-talite' Dish. (satellite dish)

13) Troll-ex: Either a Trolls favorite watch (or his former spouse) is
called a 'Troll-ex' (Rolex)

14) Troll-egence: When a Troll gives his word to be a friend or to do
something he or she are pledging their 'Troll-egiance'. (allegiance)

15) Troll-ogy: Three books about Trolls (or even read by a Troll) are called
a Troll-ogy. (trilogy)

Troll jokes: (all original in context if not in idea)

1)

Troll School Teacher: Okay Drog, use Norway, Sweden and Denmark in a
sentence.

Drog: Okay, dar is Nor-vay yew can Sveden da coffee wit sugar and Denmark it
as sour.

2)

Troll School Teacher: How does a Scottish Troll express gratitude fer da
sheep he is 'bout ta eat?

Jarg: Dat's easy. He says 'taks fer mutton'

3)

Troll School Teacher: Why should Trolls never us drugs?

Angh: Because Trolls don't want to be stoned

4)

Troll Father: Vat is yer favorite type of music son?

Troll Son: Hard rock music of course.

5)

Troll Mother: I thought I told yew not ta listen ta dat religious music.

Troll Daughter: I know but vhen I heardit I fell in love wit it.

Troll Mother: And vat is da name of dis song?

Troll Daughter: Rock of Ages! It says 'Rock of Ages Cliff fer me, let me
hide myself in-dee'.

ROFLOL,
Brilliant & hilarious too
Thank you for making this ugly posting something worth laughing about.
well done M!
S;o)

  #8  
Old February 17th 07, 03:13 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Magic Mood JeepŠ
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 431
Default WHO CARES!

In oups.com,
Isaiah Guakamoli purred:
This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


Too many snow days - time for spring to come and get the brats back in their
classrooms!


  #9  
Old February 17th 07, 08:30 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Matthew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,930
Default WHO CARES!

I have something for you Big Al it is a couple of poems that all cat
lover's should have. this one I added something to it one night I still get
teary eyed when I read them

Rainbow Bridge Revised





Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge.
When an animal dies that has been especially close
to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge.

There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so they can run and play together.

There is plenty of food, water and sunshine,
and our friends are warm and comfortable.

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored
to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are
made whole and strong again, just as we remember them
in our dreams of days and times gone by.

The animals are happy and content, except for one small
thing; they each miss someone very special to them, whom
had to be left behind.

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one
suddenly stops and looks into the distance. Their bright
eyes are intent; Their eager bodies quiver. Suddenly they
begin to run from the group, flying over the green grass,
Their legs carrying them faster and faster.

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friends
finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never
to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face;
your hands again caress their beloved head, and you look
once more into the trusting eyes of your friends, so long
gone from your life but never absent from your heart.

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together....

*** "And nothing but peace and the love of your Dear Friends"****

* Author Unknown of the original poem a few lines have been changed *

*** This should be added ***

****"Always remember We will be there even if you can't see us.
We are always Watching and Waiting. That cool puff of air you
feel across your cheek, that fleeting touch, the feeling you have
that I was walking across your bed, that moment you swear you can
hear us, that flicker of movement out of the corner of your eye.
Is just our way of saying I love you and I am with you always even
in the darkest time We Will Always Be There. Till our paws touch again
always know we love you and cherished our special time together"***

Ending Added By: ( NO MORE RETAIL ) This was my original display name
a.p.c (alt.pets.cats)




On the spur of the moment
You can share joy and happiness

With the blink of an eye
You can disclose sadness and mourning

In next to no time there will be someone
Helping you along for better or worse

Whether you are living next door
Or a continent and an ocean away

No one cares
About gender, age, race, religion and education

You may never meet cat or human face to face
But you sure meet a friend when you need one

author Michael






IF TEARS COULD BUILD A STAIRWAY


If tears could build a stairway.
and memories a lane.
I would walk right up to Heaven
and bring you back again.


No farewell words were spoken
No time to say "Goodbye."
You were gone before I knew it.
and only Gods knows why.


My heart still aches with sadness.
and secret tears still flow.
What it meant to love you-
No one can ever know.


But now I know you want me
to mourn for you no mo
To remember all the happy times.
life still has much in store


Since you'll never be forgotten.
I pledge to you today-
A hollowed place within my heart.
is where you will always stay.


Author unknown





"Big Al" wrote in message

oups.com...
On Feb 16, 1:33 pm, "Matthew" wrote:
You give him a -1. I would not even rate him it was not even a half way
bad
attempt at being a Troll

"dgk" wrote in message

news
On 16 Feb 2007 11:45:32 -0800, "Isaiah Guakamoli"
wrote:


This is the most ridiculous web group that I have ever encountered! I
mean,in alll honesty, who actually cares about cats being shaved? Im
talkin to you,Sylvesters mom. The point that Im making is that you
shoudnt waste your time conversing with other people about such an
absurd matter.


-1


everyone up to this point, EXCEPT the original poster, THANK YOU for
making me howlingly-laugh-out-loud just now, reading your responses.
That was a refreshing break from mostly crying over the last several
days. (My beloved cat died on Monday.) Now I am intrigued and need to
go read about shaving cats.



  #10  
Old February 17th 07, 08:31 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Matthew
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,930
Default WHO CARES!

You like that It is my version of a troll bake


"sheelagh" wrote in message
oups.com...
On 16 Feb, 20:32, "Matthew" wrote:
"Isaiah Guakamoli"

snipped for being posted useless want a be troll

Try and become a more interesting troll. Here read about it. Also try
using spell checker it might make you look more reputable.

In Internet terminology, a troll is a person who enters an established
community such as an online discussion forum and intentionally tries to
cause disruption, often in the form of posting messages that are
inflammatory, insulting, incorrect, inaccurate, or off-topic, with the
intent of provoking a reaction from others. Trolls can also be existing
members of such a community that rarely post and often contribute no
useful
information to the thread, but instead make argumentative posts in an
attempt to discredit another person, more often than not based on what
they
thought was said rather than what was actually said by the other person,
concentrating almost exclusively on facts irrelevant to the point of the
conversation, with the intent of provoking a reaction from others. The
latter are primarily, though not always juveniles from other countries
who
don't have enough understanding of the language to realize that there is
nothing to argue about, the points are truly irrelevant to the
conversation,
or they just don't care and are simply trying to cause the other poster
grief with their frivolous and irrelevant arguments

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Interne...ikipedia:Troll

What is the difference between a "troll" and a "stupid person"?

If stupidity is unwillingness to learn, that still leaves out the
non-stupid
malicious trollers. It also leaves out the stupid people who don't engage
in
trolling

Troll Humor

More troll fun

(added in December 2006, Written by Martin Calderwood)

Here are a dozen more fun Trollinitions. Remember the more of
these
you understand the better you will be able to communicate with the Trolls
you might meet wondering around in the night. As usual the 'English'
equivalent is provided at the end.

Trolloween: A day Trolls dress up in disguise and/or can go out at
night among humans without standing out too much celebrated on October
31st.
(Halloween)

Troll or Treat: What young Trolls do while celebrating Trolloween.
Warning to Humans, it is better to give someone dressed as a Troll a few
extra treats because if it is a real troll you do not want a Troll trick
played on you for being stingy. (Trick or Treat)

Trollibration: A festive Troll activity held for a variety of
reasons
not the least of which is because they just want to. (Celebration)

Trollopoly: A favorite game played by trolls who try to buy up the
most troll caves, underground gardens and mineral mines to become the
richest most greedy troll in the end. (Monopoly)

Trollicious: Very tasty to a troll (Delicious)

'CTR' Cardiac Trollminary Resuscitation: Stomping or jumping on a
Troll's chest to restart its heart. (Alternate method, hitting with a
heavy
wooden club several times.) (Sometimes called TTT for Trolldiac,
Trollminary Trollsusatation) (CPR)

Trollegiance: Troll Loyalty (Allegiance )

Trollagory: A story with a moral using a troll as a major
character
( Allegory)

Trollscillations: Vibrations or movement in the ground or area
caused
by a large troll moving nearby. (Oscillations)

Rehabilitrolltions: When a troll 'goes bad' he or she is sent
through
Rehabilitrolltion to set him or her right again. (Rehabilitation)

Trollucinations: When a Troll accidentally eats bad mushrooms or
gets
a high fever they sometimes see things that are not there. These are
called
Trollucinations. (Hallucinations)

Trolltection: When you have a Troll body guard he keeps you save
by
providing Trolltecton at all times. (Protection)

Here are a few editions to our collection of troll humor published
in
2004.. These are also written by our Master Trollologist, Martin
Calderwood. We hope you enjoy these fun plays on words and jokes.

TROLLINITIONS

1) Anytime a troll child is naughty a large adult will punish him
or
her. This is known as being in the 'Big Trollble' . (trouble)

2) A Troll who travels of the country telling stories and singing
songs for his keep is called a Trollbador. (Troubadour)

3) A very unique troll is said to be ' One in a tarollion' .
(trillion)

4) The favorite ride in a Troll Amusement Park is the
'Trollercoaster'. (rollercoaster)

5) If a female Troll asks you want you like about her she is '
trolling' for compliments.

6) When you look at the inside of a Troll using a camera or scope
you
are giving him or her a 'trollenoscopy'.

7) An all-day sucker eaten by a Troll Is called a 'Trollipop'.
(Lollipop)

8) When Trolls yodel they say 'Trolldaladywho'. (yodaladyhoo)

9) A big twisting wind caused by a troll him is called a
'Trollnado'.
(tornado)

10) Troll's have first level schooling at a 'Trollementary School'
(Elementary)

TROLL HUMOR

1) Vlad Troll: Where do Troll Vampires live.

Drac Troll: Trollsavania, of course.

2) Rok: Troll: "Where are Troll movies made?"

Stony Troll: "Trollywood!"

3) Q. What are a Trolls favorite Shows to watch on Trollovision?"

A. The Trollve o'clock news, For Whom the Bell Trolls,
Trolling
for Dollars, and naturally anything featuring the Norwegian Trolls Sports
Team!

4) Zrok: "Do Trolls celebrate Christmas?"

Brap: "Yes, mostly because of Carol."

Zrok: "Carol? Who's Carol?"

Brap: "Carol Troll."

Zrok: "Yes, in the song "Deck The Halls".

Brap: "Oh yes, Troll the Ancient Yuletide Carol."

5) "What would we ride on if we visited San Francisco?" asked
the little girl Troll.

"Why the Troll-ey car of course." replied Pa Troll

6) Riddle.

What famous play involving Trolls do these two words
represent?

Equal, emaciated

Pier Gaunt

7) Troll Boy: "I learned my first human words today!"

Mama Troll: "Oh? What were they?"

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll! What does that mean?"

Mama Troll: "He said, "Go away! I'm not ready to be around you!
Now
help me fix dinner."

Troll Boy: "Eeeeek, a Troll!"

8) What is the difference between a Troll born North of the
Arctic Circle and a Troll

born South of the Arctic Circle?

A Northen Troll says "God Morgen."

A Southern Troll says "God Morgen ,ya all."

It is said that Trolls have a great sense of humor about themselves and
their world. This humor is reflected in the creation of many words and
phrases that sound a lot like the words we use but that have special
meaning
to Trolls. Here are a few samples. (Included with each is the 'similar'
word
the Trolls used.) Also included are a few 'troll jokes' at the end.

1) Con-troll: A Troll who wants to take charge of everything is said to
be'con-troll-ing.
(control)

2) Ex-troll: When a Troll talks about him or herself or about another
Troll
and how good they are it is called 'ex-troll-ing' their virtues. (extol)

3) Troll-iday: Trolls celebrate many holidays like everyone else but
there
are also special days that only they celebrate called 'Troll-idays'.
(holiday)

4) Troll-dition: Something Trolls do every year or some special action or
activity done regularly especially on 'Trollidays'. (tradition)

5) Troll-erant: A Troll who has lots of patience (especially with humans)
and who puts up with a lot of different things is said to be very
'Troll-erant'. (tolerant)

6) Troll-drums: A Troll who is down or depressed is said to be "In the
Troll-drums" (doldrums)

7) Pa-Troll: When one or more Trolls go out and check an area or to watch
for problems they are on 'Pa-Troll'. (patrol)

8) Troll-up: A Troll with loose actions or morals is called a Troll-up.
(trollop)

9) Troll-doll: A really beautiful Troll is called a 'Troll-doll'.

10) Ma-Troll-nal/Pa-Troll-nal: A mommy troll has 'Ma-Troll-nal'
instincts.
(maternal) And of course daddy trolls have 'Pa-Troll-nal' instincts.
(paternal)

11) Troll-some: Any fun and growing activity young Trolls join in is said
to
be 'Trollsome'. (wholesome)

12) Troll-tellite Dish: The thing Trolls have on their homes to help them
watch Troll TV is a 'Troll-talite' Dish. (satellite dish)

13) Troll-ex: Either a Trolls favorite watch (or his former spouse) is
called a 'Troll-ex' (Rolex)

14) Troll-egence: When a Troll gives his word to be a friend or to do
something he or she are pledging their 'Troll-egiance'. (allegiance)

15) Troll-ogy: Three books about Trolls (or even read by a Troll) are
called
a Troll-ogy. (trilogy)

Troll jokes: (all original in context if not in idea)

1)

Troll School Teacher: Okay Drog, use Norway, Sweden and Denmark in a
sentence.

Drog: Okay, dar is Nor-vay yew can Sveden da coffee wit sugar and Denmark
it
as sour.

2)

Troll School Teacher: How does a Scottish Troll express gratitude fer da
sheep he is 'bout ta eat?

Jarg: Dat's easy. He says 'taks fer mutton'

3)

Troll School Teacher: Why should Trolls never us drugs?

Angh: Because Trolls don't want to be stoned

4)

Troll Father: Vat is yer favorite type of music son?

Troll Son: Hard rock music of course.

5)

Troll Mother: I thought I told yew not ta listen ta dat religious music.

Troll Daughter: I know but vhen I heardit I fell in love wit it.

Troll Mother: And vat is da name of dis song?

Troll Daughter: Rock of Ages! It says 'Rock of Ages Cliff fer me, let me
hide myself in-dee'.

ROFLOL,
Brilliant & hilarious too
Thank you for making this ugly posting something worth laughing about.
well done M!
S;o)



 




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