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The stigma of owning a cat.



 
 
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  #1  
Old December 20th 07, 04:46 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
David McCracken
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.

One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune
system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the
vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
spending the holidays there.

What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.

Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
(about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure
they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they
were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they
were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise
good co-workers with whom I get along fine.

I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks again and happy holidays.



  #2  
Old December 20th 07, 05:44 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
bookie
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,049
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

On Dec 20, 4:46 pm, "David McCracken"
wrote:
Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.

One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend and
she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her immune
system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've put her on
steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm about to
pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she got to the
vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she returns home and
gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be returning to the vet and
spending the holidays there.

What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a sick
cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an excuse
to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.

Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my cat
(about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even sure
they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I realize they
were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say about there always
being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base level, I think they
were actually being sincere. I should point out that these are otherwise
good co-workers with whom I get along fine.

I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks again and happy holidays.


unfortunately i have had to endure simliar, as have a couple of my
friends.
When i was working as a teacher I had to take my old cat at the time
(jasper, bless him) into the vets sometime between 8 and 8.30am at
their main surgery in the next town. for most people this would not be
an issue as they woudl just roll in to work a little bit later but
obviously with teachign and schools everything works to a strict
timetable and the kids have to be supervised at all times and if you
are gong to be late you have get your missed lessons covered and have
a damn good excuse for doing so (for example , you have just died or
something). Anyway i asked if someone could cover my morning
registration period for my tutor group which woudl start at 8.35 am
until 8.55am as i could not guarantee that with all the rush hour
traffic around at that time that i would be in school in time. when i
asked the assistant head for this he looked at me as though i had just
landed from mars or something, and repeated "you want someone to cover
your morning registration whilst you take your cat to the vet!!!!! are
you having a laugh??!!!", and i had to point out that the cat could
not very well take itself to the vets so i had to do it and i had to
drop him off in that particular window of time. Basically i was made
to feel as though i was aksing the earth of them and when i got back
to school by 9am after much stressfull rushing about and going through
red lights to get there, i was really made to feel as though i had
really 'let the side down' by a number of people for just not being
there for some poxy 20 minute registration time (which for the
uninitiated is just when you call the register and read out notices to
your class, no actual teaching occurs).

What made me more annoyed was that for the next 3 days of that week
another woman in my dept took the rest of the week off whilst we had
to cover her lessons for her, and why? cos her snotty nosed kid had a
cold and so of course she has to stay at home tolook after him. when i
raised an objection i was told 'it is a sick child and you could not
possibly understand'. remember that the woman herself was not ill,
just her smelly kid.


it happens time and again, and it ****es me off, how else was jasper
supposed to get the vets in time to be sedated for his op and dental?
he had to be there as early as possible. how dare they give me grief
over that, but the *******s did.

another time, i had a phone call form my dad tellign me that he had
jusy had to take tegan (childhood cat, my chocolate tortie princess,
had her since she was a kitten) to the vet as she had thrown up blood
and that they had found a massive tumour in her stomach and they were
advising to have her put to sleep the next day. Well that was a no
brainer for me, i just rang up the school and told them that i would
not be in the next day because I had a sick cat and was going to take
it to the vet to be put to sleep, i was not going to ASK for
permission to take the day off, i was goin to TELL themn that was what
i was going to do, SOD 'EM!!!!! i had to take the day off anyway cos i
had to drive down to my dad's place and then on to the vet's and I
wanted to spend some time with tegan to say goodbye and even if they
had done it in the mornign there was NO WAY i woudl have gone back
into school to deal with all those nasty little hooligans in there
inthe state i knew i would be in, i woudl be a wreck. if it had been a
human family member then noone woudl have said anythign and i woudl
have probably been allowed the week off or something, but with a cat,
who to me and my dad and brother was as much a part of our family as
anyone else and who we had had around for 17 years, is often
considered nothing to get worked up about, apparantly. If i had asked
for the day off to go and say goodbye they woudl have said 'no', which
is why i just told them that i was going to take it, no argument.

in the end I am glad i did because tegan got a stay of execution and
when i went into the vets she perked up and i persuaded them to let
her live for a bit longer (ok we did string it out too long inthe end
but she did not need to be put down that day, her quality of life was
ok at the time). yes i got some vicious comments the next day but
quite frankly they can **** off, and i took great pleasure in tellign
them how much more valuable a creature and individual little Tegan was
compared to some of the lowlifes i had to work with and teach in that
school and that i woud have no qualms in doing the same again, and
that she had contributed much more love to the world around her than
some of th destructive humans i had ever encountered in my life.

I pains me to say it but you really are not alone, i have encountered
such arseholes myself, but now i just ignore them cos they are all
******s basically and have their priorities all wrong. these are the
people who say that cats are aloof and unfriendly, well they obviously
have not spent any time in the company of a cat as they woudln't come
out with that crap if they had.
i could call my cats many things (mad, deranged, bonkers, greedy,
dopey, loving, insane, playful, adoring) but never aloof.

keep your chin up mate, we are here for you and we do understand what
you are goin g through

purrs to your poor little mistress, hope she gets better soon
bookie
  #3  
Old December 20th 07, 09:55 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 5
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

I know that feeling, though I know some people who take the care of
their cats a bit too far.

My mom and I used to run a pet-sitting business and were on good terms
with a kitty named "wilbur" who we had sat for a few times. Early in
my collge years my mom called me out of the blue and told me that he
had died. I started crying just as if a family member had died and my
roommate was confused to why I was expending so much effort over a
cat.

On the other hand, however, one can get so wrapped up in a cat that
you lose sight of its better health trying to keep it alive. My
parents have a kitty who is most likely completely deaf and is going
blind and shes probably 16 years old by now. Though there isn't
anything severely wrong with her health, she spends most of the night
yowling for someone because she can't hear anything and I think that
the cat has actually gone crazy in her old age. I can't tell my
parents but they really should put the poor kitty to sleep instead of
going to the vet and dumping money on her over an over. I love the
cat, but.. enough is enough.
  #4  
Old December 20th 07, 11:43 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Mara
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken"
wrote:

unlurk

snip
I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.


No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time. The
eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the time he
was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I should take
them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet. And no, he wasn't
kidding.

I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To me,
that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots of people
at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone.

relurk

Thanks again and happy holidays.



--
In Memoriam
For Roz, Oct. 1, 2007 - 12/16/07
"Rise slowly, angel - it's hard to let you go."
  #5  
Old December 21st 07, 01:25 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
mlbriggs
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 1,891
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 17:43:28 -0600, Mara wrote:

On Thu, 20 Dec 2007 11:46:56 -0500, "David McCracken"
wrote:

unlurk

snip
I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
instead of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.


No, it isn't just your imagination. I have 7 cats and get it all the time.
The eldest two are 10 years old, too. My own father, who had dogs all the
time he was growing up and at 80 still talks about them, used to tell me I
should take them out and shoot them whenever I had to take one to the vet.
And no, he wasn't kidding.

I lost my littlest one Sunday evening. If he knew about it, he'd laugh. To
me, that indicates something wrong with *him*, not me. I get it from lots
of people at work, too. So, sadly, you're not alone.

relurk

Thanks again and happy holidays.

"....Rise up slowly, Angel. It's hard to let you go..."

MLB

  #6  
Old December 21st 07, 06:58 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
jmc
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 610
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

Suddenly, without warning, David McCracken exclaimed (12/21/2007 2:16 AM):
Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.

I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties instead
of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks again and happy holidays.




Not just cats. I got a lot of grief from one of my bosses because I had
to leave work to deal with a colicky horse.

Fortunately, the people I work with now are very understanding, many of
them are "furkids only" families, so they understand the importance of a
pet when there's no kids in the house.

jmc
  #7  
Old December 21st 07, 04:16 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
blkcatgal
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 389
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

I make a point of discussing my pets, etc. only with co-workers and friends
that I know would understand. Two years ago, when my cat became very ill
and I had to have him put to sleep, I think there was only one person at
work that I could really confide in. Sure, others would have been
sympathetic, but I don't think they would truly understand how painful that
time was for me.

Sue

"David McCracken" wrote in message
...
Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.

One of my two 10-year-old cats suddenly became ill over the last weekend
and she's been in the hospital for the last few days. The vet says her
immune system is attacking her red blood cells and platelets, so they've
put her on steroids and IV fluids. They've stabilized her enough that I'm
about to pick her up in about a half hour. She stopped eating once she
got to the vet, so their hope is that she'll start back up once she
returns home and gets back to her routine. Otherwise, she may be
returning to the vet and spending the holidays there.

What I really want to discuss is what I've had to endure over the past few
days with friends and co-workers as I deal with my pet's health crisis. I
suppose I could be imagining much of this, so bear with me. My general
impression is that most dog people or non-pet owners don't seem to
understand the need to, for example, stay home from work babysitting a
sick cat. I get the feeling as though cat ownership is less valid of an
excuse to be at home vs. a sick child or even a sick dog.

Jokes typically come up when I discuss how much I've already spent on my
cat (about $700 this week). Someone had commented that they're not even
sure they'd spend that much on their own child, let alone a cat. I
realize they were just ribbing me about it, but you know what they say
about there always being a shred of truth behind every joke. On some base
level, I think they were actually being sincere. I should point out that
these are otherwise good co-workers with whom I get along fine.

I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners
out there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a
hard time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties
instead of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.

Thanks again and happy holidays.





  #8  
Old December 21st 07, 07:05 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Paul M. Cook
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 38
Default The stigma of owning a cat.


I'm wondering first if this is just my imagination...if other cat owners

out
there have felt the sting of this stigma. Perhaps people just have a hard
time linking a 6 foot, 2-inch, 235-pound male to two little kitties

instead
of, say, a Doberman.

Would appreciate any thoughts or experiences.


You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.

I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I am
supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are - well -
sissy.

And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.

That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad I
am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.

To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
take to blow them to hell.

Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a woman
or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but I
love cats. Simple as that.

The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not think.
And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They needed
a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with what
people think.

Paul


  #9  
Old December 22nd 07, 03:52 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
David McCracken
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 12
Default The stigma of owning a cat.


"Paul M. Cook" wrote in message
news:[email protected]

You aren't imagining it. It's a social stereotype.

I'm a 6 foot 1 inch 280 pound man with a Grizzly Adams beard and size 13EE
shoes who some say would look more at home on a Harley than in my poofy
little Jag. I'm a big, hulking SOB as some have called me and damn it I
am
supposed to have a big hulking dog as a pet. Men "like us" have Bull
Mastiffs or German Shepherds or huge Labrador retrievers. Cats are -
well -
sissy.

And I have lost 2 cats in 2 months and I will be damned if I am telling
anybody but a couple of friends and my immediate family.

That is because I went though what you are going through when I had a sick
cat back in 2000. He was dying of cancer and before that we had a crisis
with a huge tumor near his heart. All I am going to say is that I am glad
I
am a man of peace or some very obnoxious *******s would not be around now.
The comments I got ranged from rude, to cruel to knowingly abusive and
antagonizing. My ordeal brought out a side of people that we all know is
there but are nonetheless shocked to see first hand.

To all of them I say screw 'em, They aren't worth the dynamite it would
take to blow them to hell.

Sorry for the coarse talk, but your post hit home. And yes, us big guys
have hearts too and just because we are not some cute little kid or a
woman
or a "non threatening male" doesn't mean we don't have love and compassion
for animals and feel a huge sense of loss when they die. I like dogs but
I
love cats. Simple as that.

The prejudices people harbor are a product of permanent adolescence. Our
society does not require anyone to grow up anymore, preferring a state of
permanent childhood to over being an adult and along with that comes the
same crap you'd expect from an adolescent.. People react they do not
think.
And they will judge you and they will ostracize you for putting your cats
needs first. I lost a job over a sick cat once because my boss and fellow
employees were aghast that I took time off to care for my cat. They
needed
a "team player" as they said. But I would do it again and to hell with
what
people think.

Paul



Hi Paul:

Thank you so much for this. Your comments are exactly the shot in the arm I
needed, as were all the replies so far. Your thoughts particularly mirror
my own and I appreciate it. I'm glad we're all not alone in this.


  #10  
Old December 22nd 07, 06:12 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Lesley
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 3,702
Default The stigma of owning a cat.

On 20 Dec, 08:46, "David McCracken"
wrote:
Hi everyone:

I haven't posted in this forum in a long while, but have always found it
full of great people with much knowledge and love for cats. *So I
immediately thought of this newsgroup when I wanted to share this
perspective about cat ownership.


You are far from alone when we had to have Fugazi put to sleep I had
to go to work the next day but my then boss, a slave himself couldn't
have been nicer- he sent me home early, covered me when I needed to go
and cry, placed the phone at my disposal should I wish to call home
and check on Dave and my other cat and repeatedly told me that if we
weren't short staffed he wouldn't have expected me to come in and he
would have told the management it was "compassionate leave"

He got a fair bit of stick when the managers found out through..One of
them said to "How old was she?" (I think he was trying to be nice) and
I said she was twelve, (as if it made a difference) his reply was "Is
that old for one of them?" As I say I guess he was trying to be nice
because he then followed it up with "I really don't know anything
about cats"

His boss was all for putting my boss and me on a disciplinary over it
since he didn't regard being upset over "a mere cat" (his words) just
cause to expect me to do less work for one day and get away with it
(as he saw it). Fortunately we were both very good at our jobs and
each made it perfectly clear we would walk out in support of the other
so he let the matter drop

the all-time winner through is my mother, when I told her Isis had
died she shrugged and said "I suppose you get fond of the things"

Lesley

Slave of the Fabulous Furballs
 




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