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Kitty doesn't take to strangers



 
 
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  #1  
Old February 10th 09, 01:16 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 6
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

Hi,
I have a cat named Shera, she is 1 going to be 2 yrs. old in April. I
got her from the shelter and the main issue she had was that she
didn't like to be around children. She was an abused kitty who got
her tail tugged on by some children before she was put into a foster
home. When my boyfriend and I adopted her she was 7 months old and we
were told of her past abuse and also told that she would not do well
around children and that it would take a while for her to warm up to
us. As soon as we got her home however, she immediately started
demanding to be pet and loved. She seemed to do so well with new
people, even jumping on their laps and letting them pet her. Then,
for whatever reason, a little bit past her first birthday she started
acting different when it came to strangers.
She usually hides under the bed and refuses to venture out of our
bedroom unless all the strangers are out of the house. Sometimes
she'll go on the bed but as soon as she hears a loud noise she'll go
right back under the bed again. If she happens to be out and about
and a stranger comes into the house she either runs upstairs as fast
as possible (that's where my bedroom is) or stands there and does a
long, aggravated meow and sometimes she'll scratch or growl. Not
saying that we have a lot of strangers coming in and out of the house
all the time but we do get the occasionally visitor.
My concern is that my boyfriend's sister is going to be moving in with
us and so is her three year old little boy. I'm worried to death that
Shera is going to wind up being traumatized by this whole ordeal.
They may be here for months and I don't want her to be afraid and hide
under the bed all the time. I'd like to give her the benefit of the
doubt and say she might take to them, but when they were here two
months ago for two weeks she spent all her time cowering in a corner
under the bed.
I have no idea what to do. I need suggestions and would appreciate
any advice on how to calm her down or at the very least keep her
mentally unscathed from these soon to be visitors.

Jenn
  #2  
Old February 10th 09, 02:39 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
Buddy's Mom
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Posts: 243
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

You already know the answer to your question - they were visiting
before and she didn't do well. It isn't going to change - you were
told that when you got her.


On Feb 9, 7:16�pm, wrote:
Hi,
I have a cat named Shera, she is 1 going to be 2 yrs. old in April. �I
got her from the shelter and the main issue she had was that she
didn't like to be around children. �She was an abused kitty who got
her tail tugged on by some children before she was put into a foster
home. �When my boyfriend and I adopted her she was 7 months old and we
were told of her past abuse and also told that she would not do well
around children and that it would take a while for her to warm up to
us. �As soon as we got her home however, she immediately started
demanding to be pet and loved. �She seemed to do so well with new
people, even jumping on their laps and letting them pet her. �Then,
for whatever reason, a little bit past her first birthday she started
acting different when it came to strangers.
She usually hides under the bed and refuses to venture out of our
bedroom unless all the strangers are out of the house. �Sometimes
she'll go on the bed but as soon as she hears a loud noise she'll go
right back under the bed again. �If she happens to be out and about
and a stranger comes into the house she either runs upstairs as fast
as possible (that's where my bedroom is) or stands there and does a
long, aggravated meow and sometimes she'll scratch or growl. �Not
saying that we have a lot of strangers coming in and out of the house
all the time but we do get the occasionally visitor.
My concern is that my boyfriend's sister is going to be moving in with
us and so is her three year old little boy. �I'm worried to death that
Shera is going to wind up being traumatized by this whole ordeal.
They may be here for months and I don't want her to be afraid and hide
under the bed all the time. �I'd like to give her the benefit of the
doubt and say she might take to them, but when they were here two
months ago for two weeks she spent all her time cowering in a corner
under the bed.
I have no idea what to do. �I need suggestions and would appreciate
any advice on how to calm her down or at the very least keep her
mentally unscathed from these soon to be visitors.

Jenn


  #3  
Old February 10th 09, 06:43 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
cshenk
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Posts: 1,906
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

wrote

didn't like to be around children. She was an abused kitty who got
her tail tugged on by some children before she was put into a foster
home. When my boyfriend and I adopted her she was 7 months old and we


Make sure the cat has a safe place the kid can NOT get at and do NOT leave
both untended alone for even a second. Do NOT let the child try to 'play
with kitty'.

We are talking danger to the child here.

A truely scared cat will go for the face and eyes. This is why they mark
cats behavior with children and do not relase ones known to not deal with to
people with children. An experienced cat owner can work with this but you
seem too new to do so safely with a toddler. Warn the mother now.


  #4  
Old February 10th 09, 01:46 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 126
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

On Feb 9, 7:16*pm, wrote:

I have no idea what to do. *I need suggestions and would appreciate
any advice on how to calm her down or at the very least keep her
mentally unscathed from these soon to be visitors.


Keep them apart. Period. Focus on keeping the cat in a safe and secure
place (as the cat defines it) while the kids are around. Warn the
parent(s) of the kids, warn the kids. Repeat as needed.

Eventually the kids will get older. Eventually the cat will learn that
the kids are not a direct threat. But this will _NOT_ happen
overnight.

Funny thing, our big guy (16 pound Maine Coon) absolutely dotes on
kids and will allow no end of abuse from them - well, he was raised
with a golden retriever - up to and including grabbing and (minor)
tail-pulling (which he has always enjoyed since a very young kitten).
But let an adult try it and it is an entirely different story. Our
grands were over most of Sunday (2/2/5) and he was right in the middle
of them for most of that time. We supervised the entire time to make
sure that the kids did not go too far, and we also showed them that
the younger cat, although more playful did not like being picked up or
carried. So, just as our kids learned, they are learning how to play
with cats at a very young age - and that all cats are different. Now,
the 2 & 5 year old brother and sister have just gotten a kitten of
their own after their parents saw them with our two on several
occasions. That kitten (named Bob) will lead a very good life.

Patience. Your cat may never fully relax around the kids, but she will
learn to adjust once she establishes that they are no direct threat.

Peter Wieck
Melrose Park, PA
  #5  
Old February 10th 09, 07:04 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
barb
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Posts: 238
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

Rethink this whole plan. Your boyfriend's sister? Once people move in on
you it is not easy to get them to move out. I feel badly for the little cat
that you are foisting all this on in addition to what you are doing here.
If this is your place have no one move in. If it's your boyfriend's place
and he wants this whole group moving in, then you move out.

Barb

  #6  
Old February 10th 09, 09:04 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 6
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

Patience. Your cat may never fully relax around the kids, but she will
learn to adjust once she establishes that they are no direct threat.


When we first got Shera the lady at 9 Lives told us that if she got
used to us enough, when we decided to have kids she may eventually be
alright with it. That isn't going to be any time soon but hopefully
by the time that happens she'll have gotten a little older and
mellowed out some. I'm not expecting a miracle for her to all of a
sudden be ok with children. I know she may never like them. Even
though Shera is the first cat I've own, she isn't the first cat I've
had in my life. Growing up my parents always had cats around the
house. They would always adopt them from the nearest shelter and a
lot came from abused homes. I understand not to force her on anybody
because I know what the outcome could be. I just can't understand why
the first few months she did fine with strangers and all of a sudden
she can only deal with my boyfriend and I. I have no idea what
could've made her change so drastically at the drop of a hat.

I thank everyone for the input. I'll keep an eye out and make sure
that both the kid and Shera don't get too close to one another. I'm
just afraid that hiding under the bed for months without her venturing
out she'll develop a nervous tummy and either stop eating or stop
using her litter box. I don't want her to be a nervous wreck, but
seeing how this isn't my house I have no say in who comes to live
here. Especially when it comes to family.

  #7  
Old February 10th 09, 09:06 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 6
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

On Feb 10, 1:04*pm, "Barb" wrote:
Rethink this whole plan. *Your boyfriend's sister? *Once people move in on
you it is not easy to get them to move out. *I feel badly for the little cat
that you are foisting all this on in addition to what you are doing here.
If this is your place have no one move in. *If it's your boyfriend's place
and he wants this whole group moving in, then you move out.

Barb


To clarify, it's not my boyfriends house or mine, it's his parents and
moving out is unfortunately not an option at this point.
  #8  
Old February 10th 09, 11:50 PM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
cybercat
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Posts: 4,216
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers


wrote in message
...
On Feb 10, 1:04 pm, "Barb" wrote:
Rethink this whole plan. Your boyfriend's sister? Once people move in on
you it is not easy to get them to move out. I feel badly for the little
cat
that you are foisting all this on in addition to what you are doing here.
If this is your place have no one move in. If it's your boyfriend's place
and he wants this whole group moving in, then you move out.

Barb


To clarify, it's not my boyfriends house or mine, it's his parents and
moving out is unfortunately not an option at this point.


It is ALWAYS an option. Grow up.


  #9  
Old February 11th 09, 01:12 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
[email protected]
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Posts: 6
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers

On Feb 10, 5:50*pm, "cybercat" wrote:
wrote in message

...
On Feb 10, 1:04 pm, "Barb" wrote:

Rethink this whole plan. Your boyfriend's sister? Once people move in on
you it is not easy to get them to move out. I feel badly for the little
cat
that you are foisting all this on in addition to what you are doing here.
If this is your place have no one move in. If it's your boyfriend's place
and he wants this whole group moving in, then you move out.


Barb
To clarify, it's not my boyfriends house or mine, it's his parents and
moving out is unfortunately not an option at this point.


It is ALWAYS an option. Grow up.


Thanks for the insight, Barb.
  #10  
Old February 11th 09, 01:14 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.health+behav
cybercat
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Posts: 4,216
Default Kitty doesn't take to strangers


wrote :

Thanks for the insight, Barb.


Mastering your newsreader is also an option. That was ME, not Barb.


 




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