Advice pls: what to send my friend's cat who died

On Mon 06-Apr-2009 02:46, Matthew
wrote:


"Sandi" wrote in message
...
On Sat 04-Apr-2009 20:09, Stan Brown
wrote:

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 06:03:02 +0100 from Sandi :
I'm in the UK. My friend and her parents had a lovely
friendly cat at home for about 10 or 12 years. It died
earlier today.

When my cat died, the vet sent a notice that she had had a
tree planted in Israel in his name. I thought that was a
nice gesture, but YMMV.

I'd think a donation to any cat welfare organization, in
memory of the pet, would be appreciated. Ideally this would
be a local organization in your friend's town, as opposed to
a less personal national organization.


Dear all, I don't want to be dumb or picky but how does a
donation to a cat organisation help the bereaved feel better?
Isn't a donation really for my benefit as it is a "sensible"
or more permanent way of expressing my condolence.

But it's my friend who is hurting with grief. She's in her
early 30s and lives in the countryside with her parents and
their cat has been there almost all her adult life. Thee were
no other pets. They all loved the cat, especially my friend
who was there most of the day. Now he's gone. Her world has
changed.

I do not at all mind giving to a good cause like a cat
oranisation but what am I not seeing in terms of how it helps
my friend or her family?

Very sadly, I missed his burial today in one of his favourite
spots in the garden. I do not live nearby and only heard
about it afterwards. I would have dearly wanted to be there.

Does it help to suggest they now get a little kitten to
somehow carry or embody the spirit of the deceased cat? I can
see how that might go very wrong but maybe it can go very
right. Oh I don't know. It's all new to me. What I know is
I weep with sorrow and my friend is devastated by her loss.


No getting a cat or kitten that quick is totally up to the
person not you. Don't even suggest it. It might back fire
badly

Sorry to go on writing so much. Any suggestions would be
welcome. Put me right if I my vision is too clouded. All I
know is that I am a swirling pot of emotion and not really
too sure about anything much.

Sandi can I make a suggestion. When I lost a furball last
year my friends in these groups said many condolences to me.
When I read them I was truly touched and a sense of easement
came over me. Truly anything that you do will help with the
loss. Why not do a card, and a donation. If it comes from
your heart THAT IS ALL THAT TRULY MATTERS. If your friend is
not a member of the ASPCA or HSUS you could always give a
membership to them

I cry everytime someone in these groups tell me they lost a
master. Some of these people if have never met or will met.
It is CALLED YOU CARE.


I guess I feel the care so strongly that I want to do what is of
most value to my friend. Maybe I need a lighter touch?