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Meanwhile Back on the Island. . . Tanada tells another one



 
 
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Old July 16th 08, 01:23 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
tanadashoes
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 2,879
Default Meanwhile Back on the Island. . . Tanada tells another one

While the cast and crew of The Mouser were dealing with the Dread Pirate
Fifi, the fat wench, Tanada, the cabin kits, and other non-combatants were
enjoying the weather on FranknNikki Island. OK, they were bored. They
didn't have permission to explore the island, couldn't go into the cabins,
didn't have their fishing equipment, and were living on a combination of
kibble, Meals, Ready to Eat (MRE), and trail mix. They had to be careful
about camp fires, so didn't light one. At night they sat around a
flashlight that was set up to shine into the sky. Worse, in all the
excitement, the fat wench forgot to bring her sewing, puzzle books, or even
a reading book ashore. She was in the middle of the Erin Hunter "Warrior
Cats" series and knowing that her books might not survive the coming battle
was depressing. The fat wench sighed, jiggled the flashlight and sighed
again.

"Stop that sighing," Tanada ordered. "We're bored too. Can I have your
chicken ala king?"

"Sure," the fat wench sighed again. "I think that was all they put in this
box of MREs. I hate chicken ala king. Did I ever tell you about the time
PawRob had to live off of this stuff for a week? He was sta-"

"I'd rather hear one of Tanada's stories instead," Pixie mewed. "Hers mean
something." The fat wench sat back sulking, but didn't say anything as
Tanada stepped up to the flashlight and looked around at the gathered cats,
kits, and humans. She sat down and licked a few stray hairs into place,
then looked up at her audience.

"This reminds me of how cats saved a civilization," She purred. "Would you
like to hear about it?" Everyone present indicated approval with trills,
nods, and much clapping of hands and paws. Tanada nodded once, then meowed
this story.

"A long time ago, even as humans count time, though not so long that the
Rainbow Bridge has forgotten, cats and humans lived together in harmony.
The humans kept animals and grains and the cats fed off the rodents who
stole the grain. Most humans rewarded the cats with treats and pettins, but
not all. Most cats rewarded the humans by accepting treats and pettins, but
not all. Sometimes the relationship was uneasy, but most of the time it
worked very well for us all.

"Then some strange tom humans told the humans that cats were evil and that
those who loved cats were also evil. They were known as "Whitches" and must
be punished for their love of cats. Cats themselves must be removed from
their humans and murdered for the humans' own good. Some humans argued that
this was wrong, but the bad humans murdered them too. Some humans call this
"the burning time" as the most horrible way to murder humans and cats was to
burn them alive. Humans and cats were also hung, beheaded, thrown off of
cliffs and drowned. A lot of cats were drowned, there are those who say
that this is why cats hate and fear water. Some don't, but they tend to
have water in their brains already or else come from a place named after
those big chicken birds.

"Soon, the only cats left were those who were hidden by kind humans and
those who had distrusted humans in the first place. The rest were at the
Bridge along with many of the humans who had loved them. It was a harsh
time for us cats and many of us developed a distrust for humans that
persists to this day, with good reason, I might add.

"Cats had disappeared from the civilization, but not rats, mice, or humans.
Or the vermin who feed off of them. Without us cats, the rats and mice did
very well. Then the humans got sick and started dying. At first no one
knew why. Then someone realized that, in those places where cats were still
loved and taken care of, few humans were dying and those were ones who hated
cats and wouldn't have them around their grain bins. Too late, the humans
realized that they had murdered their people along with their cats. There
were still some cats left, but they wouldn't go near the evil human places
that stank of hate and death. So how could the humans convince the cats
that it was safe to live among humans again?

"Even then there were still humans who could and would speak to cats and
cats that would understand humans. We just didn't talk to them like we had
at the happier times. Those humans who could understand cat kept this fact
a secret and few cats would admit to understanding the hated humans. One of
these humans, a person named William, knew that he might be able to help,
but, if the other humans found out they would probably kill him. He'd
already seen his beloved wife, Phoebe, drowned by evil humans for talking to
a cat she was trying to rescue from the drowning pond in their town commons.
You see humans often drowned cats and humans in their drinking water, then
wondered why they got sick. Humans were (and are) very stupid. Phoebe was
trying to calm the cat as she fished it out of the water. She was arrested
on the spot and the cat escaped with only the loss of one of its nine lives.
Phoebe lost all of hers as the evil humans drowned her in the same pond she
rescued the cat from.

"The cat was named Thomas and was a valiant hunter with several queens and
many kits to his credit. He was also one of those cats that would still
communicate with humans, though he hadn't felt a desire to in many seasons.
After he escaped from the pond, he hid in the nearest dark place he could
find, which happened to be in William's inn among the sacks of grain and
produce. He soon cleaned out the rats and mice from the storage rooms and
was sneaking into the kitchens when he realized that he wasn't alone.

"William was talking to a guest about the black sickness that was killing so
many people. The guest was a philosopher, what we'd call a scientist, and
had been studying the plague as it was being called. He told William that
those places that were kept clean, had their own sources of water, kept the
human litter boxes far away from their water places, and killed rodents as
fast as they could and as much as possible had far fewer cases of the plague
than the rest of the humans. William nodded. He'd already noticed that
keeping his water away from the humans' litter boxes kept some diseases away
and he always kept his inn as clean as possible in a filthy society. Some
of his customers laughed at him, but they always came back to stay at his
inn. William had taken over the cooking duties after Phoebe's death, but
was teaching his daughter, Margarethe to cook as well. He knew that
cleanliness was important in good food, and felt that it was as important in
drink and the sleeping rooms as well.

"William was startled when the philosopher said, 'The best and smartest
thing you're doing is keeping that cat here. Those places with cats are the
most unlikely to get the plague.' The stranger pointed to where Thomas was
hiding behind a barrel of ale. The poor cat thought that he was going to
lose the rest of his lives, but the kindly inn keeper walked over and put a
plate of beef stew down behind another barrel instead. As he ate the chunks
of meat from the stew, Thomas listened as William and the philosopher talked
some more about how so many people needed the help of cats to get rid of
rodents so that they couldn't catch the black death from them. After a
while, the philosopher went to his bed in the common room. Because of the
sickness, he was the only guest at the inn and had the common room to
himself.

"After the philosopher left to go to sleep, William sat down at the kitchen
table and talked out loud to Thomas. Thomas was surprised and ignored the
human, even as he listened. William told Thomas how his beloved wife Phoebe
loved cats and used to feed them even when it was illegal to do so, and how
that love of cats had been the cause of her death by the humans in charge of
the town. There were even those that claimed that the lack of black death
at William and Phoebe's inn showed that they both consorted with the devil
and that William should be drowned like Phoebe and someone who was a member
of the church should take over the inn and run it the way it should be run.
William was even thinking of sending his children away to live with Phoebe's
sister in another town, though he couldn't afford to do so. He just didn't
know what to do. Thomas nodded his understanding. Kits were important and
must be protected. 'You understand me, don't you?' William said suddenly.

"Shocked Thomas sat up straighter and shook his head. An honest cat, he
then nodded and murped sadly. 'I can also talk to you as well,' he
confessed. 'We both have problems. You want to keep your family and inn
and I want to keep my queens, kits, and remaining lives. There must be a
way of doing both.' The two of them discussed options and plans far into
the night and it was a bleary eyed William who made breakfast for the
philosopher and the few humans who were able to afford to eat at his inn.

"That day, Thomas went back to where his queens and kits were hiding. The
canny cat moved his favorite queen, Sunnypaws and her latest litter into the
storage rooms of William's Inn, where they would be able to live in safety.
He moved his other queens and their kits into houses that he knew were
havens for cats. One of those places was a monastery. Thomas moved into
the head human's granary and proceeded to kill as many rats and mice and
other vermin as he could. These he laid out in front of the evil human's
door so that the bad man would find them as he walked outside every morning.
Every day Thomas would visit his queens, with his last stop being at
William's inn where he was fed and pampered by the kindly inn keeper who was
grateful for the lovely Calico queen and her kits. Sunnypaws had taught the
kits to hide from all of the humans except for William and Margrethe, who
loved them as much as William did. The feline family keep the inn and its
stables clean of vermin and William and his daughter did not lack for
companionship.

"The evil human was puzzled by the neat rows of rats, mice, voles, and other
vermin he found in front of his house every morning. At first he didn't
understand why his horses and cows seemed healthier. Then there was the way
his family was standing straighter and spending less time at the human
litter boxes. Another wave of black death went around and his family didn't
become ill. That confused him. One day, the philosopher was walking by and
stopped to talk to the evil man. The philosopher was not only a scientist,
but a leader in the evil man's religion. The two talked about their
religion for a long time and the evil man asked the philosopher to dine with
him.

"As they were eating, the philosopher congratulated the evil man on his
forward thinking and intelligence in taking care of one of God's creatures,
the cat. The evil man choked on his mutton and said that he'd never have a
whitches familiar around. The philosopher said that he didn't understand,
as only those who had given cats back their homes had been spared the black
death. He explained that cats killed the vermin that carried the black
death and those who cared for the cats didn't have the rats, mice, and other
carriers of the plague that brought death to many thousands of people. 'God
must have wanted you to live and sent a cat to take care of you and your
family,' he finished. The evil man remembered all the rows of neatly lined
up rat and mice carcasses in front of his house and realized that God had
indeed saved him and taught him something as well.

"From that day the evil man was no longer evil. He told the humans that
he'd been wrong about killing cats and that cats were also God's creatures
and were put on the earth by God to help humans and that humans must also
help cats as well. He became a friend of the cats and welcomed them into
his house and stables, fed them milk and dinner scraps, and provided them
with warm places to sleep at night.

"Of course this didn't happen at once. It took many years for there to be
enough cats to properly take care of their humans, and not all humans were
willing to be slaves to cats. Not all cats were willing to own humans. But
enough were and most of them were descendants of Thomas and his queens.
Which is why, to this day, we call intact male cats Toms."

Tanada licked her paw and cleaned her left ear. She looked around at the
cats and kits with their wide eyes and the humans who nodded in agreement
with her story. The fat wench stroked Tanada's fur and tickled her chin.
"A much better story than those I tell," the fat wench said.

"Indeed," Tanada trilled. "Someday, I'll have to teach you how it's done."

Tales of The Mouser
Submitted by Pam S. aka the fat wench


  #2  
Old July 16th 08, 02:20 AM posted to rec.pets.cats.anecdotes
Kylatte =^. .^=`[_2_]
external usenet poster
 
Posts: 32
Default Meanwhile Back on the Island. . . Tanada tells another one


"tanadashoes"...
While the cast and crew of The Mouser were dealing with the Dread Pirate
Fifi, the fat wench, Tanada, the cabin kits, and other non-combatants were
enjoying the weather on FranknNikki Island. OK, they were bored. They
didn't have permission to explore the island, couldn't go into the cabins,
didn't have their fishing equipment, and were living on a combination of
kibble, Meals, Ready to Eat (MRE), and trail mix. They had to be careful
about camp fires, so didn't light one. At night they sat around a
flashlight that was set up to shine into the sky. Worse, in all the
excitement, the fat wench forgot to bring her sewing, puzzle books, or
even a reading book ashore. She was in the middle of the Erin Hunter
"Warrior Cats" series and knowing that her books might not survive the
coming battle was depressing. The fat wench sighed, jiggled the
flashlight and sighed again.

"Stop that sighing," Tanada ordered. "We're bored too. Can I have your
chicken ala king?"

"Sure," the fat wench sighed again. "I think that was all they put in
this box of MREs. I hate chicken ala king. Did I ever tell you about the
time PawRob had to live off of this stuff for a week? He was sta-"

"I'd rather hear one of Tanada's stories instead," Pixie mewed. "Hers
mean something." The fat wench sat back sulking, but didn't say anything
as Tanada stepped up to the flashlight and looked around at the gathered
cats, kits, and humans. She sat down and licked a few stray hairs into
place, then looked up at her audience.

"This reminds me of how cats saved a civilization," She purred. "Would
you like to hear about it?" Everyone present indicated approval with
trills, nods, and much clapping of hands and paws. Tanada nodded once,
then meowed this story.

"A long time ago, even as humans count time, though not so long that the
Rainbow Bridge has forgotten, cats and humans lived together in harmony.
The humans kept animals and grains and the cats fed off the rodents who
stole the grain. Most humans rewarded the cats with treats and pettins,
but not all. Most cats rewarded the humans by accepting treats and
pettins, but not all. Sometimes the relationship was uneasy, but most of
the time it worked very well for us all.

"Then some strange tom humans told the humans that cats were evil and that
those who loved cats were also evil. They were known as "Whitches" and
must be punished for their love of cats. Cats themselves must be removed
from their humans and murdered for the humans' own good. Some humans
argued that this was wrong, but the bad humans murdered them too. Some
humans call this "the burning time" as the most horrible way to murder
humans and cats was to burn them alive. Humans and cats were also hung,
beheaded, thrown off of cliffs and drowned. A lot of cats were drowned,
there are those who say that this is why cats hate and fear water. Some
don't, but they tend to have water in their brains already or else come
from a place named after those big chicken birds.

"Soon, the only cats left were those who were hidden by kind humans and
those who had distrusted humans in the first place. The rest were at the
Bridge along with many of the humans who had loved them. It was a harsh
time for us cats and many of us developed a distrust for humans that
persists to this day, with good reason, I might add.

"Cats had disappeared from the civilization, but not rats, mice, or
humans. Or the vermin who feed off of them. Without us cats, the rats and
mice did very well. Then the humans got sick and started dying. At first
no one knew why. Then someone realized that, in those places where cats
were still loved and taken care of, few humans were dying and those were
ones who hated cats and wouldn't have them around their grain bins. Too
late, the humans realized that they had murdered their people along with
their cats. There were still some cats left, but they wouldn't go near
the evil human places that stank of hate and death. So how could the
humans convince the cats that it was safe to live among humans again?

"Even then there were still humans who could and would speak to cats and
cats that would understand humans. We just didn't talk to them like we
had at the happier times. Those humans who could understand cat kept this
fact a secret and few cats would admit to understanding the hated humans.
One of these humans, a person named William, knew that he might be able to
help, but, if the other humans found out they would probably kill him.
He'd already seen his beloved wife, Phoebe, drowned by evil humans for
talking to a cat she was trying to rescue from the drowning pond in their
town commons. You see humans often drowned cats and humans in their
drinking water, then wondered why they got sick. Humans were (and are)
very stupid. Phoebe was trying to calm the cat as she fished it out of
the water. She was arrested on the spot and the cat escaped with only the
loss of one of its nine lives. Phoebe lost all of hers as the evil humans
drowned her in the same pond she rescued the cat from.

"The cat was named Thomas and was a valiant hunter with several queens and
many kits to his credit. He was also one of those cats that would still
communicate with humans, though he hadn't felt a desire to in many
seasons. After he escaped from the pond, he hid in the nearest dark place
he could find, which happened to be in William's inn among the sacks of
grain and produce. He soon cleaned out the rats and mice from the storage
rooms and was sneaking into the kitchens when he realized that he wasn't
alone.

"William was talking to a guest about the black sickness that was killing
so many people. The guest was a philosopher, what we'd call a scientist,
and had been studying the plague as it was being called. He told William
that those places that were kept clean, had their own sources of water,
kept the human litter boxes far away from their water places, and killed
rodents as fast as they could and as much as possible had far fewer cases
of the plague than the rest of the humans. William nodded. He'd already
noticed that keeping his water away from the humans' litter boxes kept
some diseases away and he always kept his inn as clean as possible in a
filthy society. Some of his customers laughed at him, but they always
came back to stay at his inn. William had taken over the cooking duties
after Phoebe's death, but was teaching his daughter, Margarethe to cook as
well. He knew that cleanliness was important in good food, and felt that
it was as important in drink and the sleeping rooms as well.

"William was startled when the philosopher said, 'The best and smartest
thing you're doing is keeping that cat here. Those places with cats are
the most unlikely to get the plague.' The stranger pointed to where
Thomas was hiding behind a barrel of ale. The poor cat thought that he
was going to lose the rest of his lives, but the kindly inn keeper walked
over and put a plate of beef stew down behind another barrel instead. As
he ate the chunks of meat from the stew, Thomas listened as William and
the philosopher talked some more about how so many people needed the help
of cats to get rid of rodents so that they couldn't catch the black death
from them. After a while, the philosopher went to his bed in the common
room. Because of the sickness, he was the only guest at the inn and had
the common room to himself.

"After the philosopher left to go to sleep, William sat down at the
kitchen table and talked out loud to Thomas. Thomas was surprised and
ignored the human, even as he listened. William told Thomas how his
beloved wife Phoebe loved cats and used to feed them even when it was
illegal to do so, and how that love of cats had been the cause of her
death by the humans in charge of the town. There were even those that
claimed that the lack of black death at William and Phoebe's inn showed
that they both consorted with the devil and that William should be drowned
like Phoebe and someone who was a member of the church should take over
the inn and run it the way it should be run. William was even thinking of
sending his children away to live with Phoebe's sister in another town,
though he couldn't afford to do so. He just didn't know what to do.
Thomas nodded his understanding. Kits were important and must be
protected. 'You understand me, don't you?' William said suddenly.

"Shocked Thomas sat up straighter and shook his head. An honest cat, he
then nodded and murped sadly. 'I can also talk to you as well,' he
confessed. 'We both have problems. You want to keep your family and inn
and I want to keep my queens, kits, and remaining lives. There must be a
way of doing both.' The two of them discussed options and plans far into
the night and it was a bleary eyed William who made breakfast for the
philosopher and the few humans who were able to afford to eat at his inn.

"That day, Thomas went back to where his queens and kits were hiding. The
canny cat moved his favorite queen, Sunnypaws and her latest litter into
the storage rooms of William's Inn, where they would be able to live in
safety. He moved his other queens and their kits into houses that he knew
were havens for cats. One of those places was a monastery. Thomas moved
into the head human's granary and proceeded to kill as many rats and mice
and other vermin as he could. These he laid out in front of the evil
human's door so that the bad man would find them as he walked outside
every morning. Every day Thomas would visit his queens, with his last stop
being at William's inn where he was fed and pampered by the kindly inn
keeper who was grateful for the lovely Calico queen and her kits.
Sunnypaws had taught the kits to hide from all of the humans except for
William and Margrethe, who loved them as much as William did. The feline
family keep the inn and its stables clean of vermin and William and his
daughter did not lack for companionship.

"The evil human was puzzled by the neat rows of rats, mice, voles, and
other vermin he found in front of his house every morning. At first he
didn't understand why his horses and cows seemed healthier. Then there
was the way his family was standing straighter and spending less time at
the human litter boxes. Another wave of black death went around and his
family didn't become ill. That confused him. One day, the philosopher
was walking by and stopped to talk to the evil man. The philosopher was
not only a scientist, but a leader in the evil man's religion. The two
talked about their religion for a long time and the evil man asked the
philosopher to dine with him.

"As they were eating, the philosopher congratulated the evil man on his
forward thinking and intelligence in taking care of one of God's
creatures, the cat. The evil man choked on his mutton and said that he'd
never have a whitches familiar around. The philosopher said that he
didn't understand, as only those who had given cats back their homes had
been spared the black death. He explained that cats killed the vermin
that carried the black death and those who cared for the cats didn't have
the rats, mice, and other carriers of the plague that brought death to
many thousands of people. 'God must have wanted you to live and sent a
cat to take care of you and your family,' he finished. The evil man
remembered all the rows of neatly lined up rat and mice carcasses in front
of his house and realized that God had indeed saved him and taught him
something as well.

"From that day the evil man was no longer evil. He told the humans that
he'd been wrong about killing cats and that cats were also God's creatures
and were put on the earth by God to help humans and that humans must also
help cats as well. He became a friend of the cats and welcomed them into
his house and stables, fed them milk and dinner scraps, and provided them
with warm places to sleep at night.

"Of course this didn't happen at once. It took many years for there to be
enough cats to properly take care of their humans, and not all humans were
willing to be slaves to cats. Not all cats were willing to own humans.
But enough were and most of them were descendants of Thomas and his
queens. Which is why, to this day, we call intact male cats Toms."

Tanada licked her paw and cleaned her left ear. She looked around at the
cats and kits with their wide eyes and the humans who nodded in agreement
with her story. The fat wench stroked Tanada's fur and tickled her chin.
"A much better story than those I tell," the fat wench said.

"Indeed," Tanada trilled. "Someday, I'll have to teach you how it's
done."

Tales of The Mouser
Submitted by Pam S. aka the fat wench



That was beautiful Pam...
Hug
Kyla
--reaching for a Kleenex




 




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