Help! My husband's cat hates me!

Greetings:

I was recently married, and we have joined households - two cats each.
My two cats like my husband very much, and the feeling is mutual. His
little female is skittish but warming up to me. The problem is his male
- aged two years, neutered. This cat has a history of minor aggressive
behavior (swatting) with just about everyone except my husband, whom he
worships. He is a real one-man cat, and absolutely adores his daddy. He
pretty much ignored me or swatted at me occasionally before we were
married, but once he crawled up on my chest and purred and loved on me
(my husband was sitting right next to me).

Now this cat has decided he hates my guts. He intentionally corners me
and stalks me, meowing and waving his tail. He has actually attacked me
with his claws, drawing quite a bit of blood, on several occasions. It
has gotten to the point where I can't go out on the porch (where he
lives) without a broom for protection (which I wave menacingly at him
when he starts up with the aggressive stance, I would never hit him or
anything). Today I thought maybe I'd sit on the porch and invite him to
sit on the chair with me while I read. He was up and down on the chair,
seemingly nice, then bit me on the back of the hand totally unprovoked
(I wasn't even petting him, just sitting still). He grabbed the thin
skin of my hand and twisted it, leaving a ring of teeth marks and one
deep puncture.

I love all animals and want to be friends with him, but it seems he is
hugely jealous of me and wants me gone. I feed him, clean his litter
pan, talk nicely to him, but nothing works. I hate carrying a broom
around - I want us all to get along - but I have to protect myself -
this is getting dangerous. And what happens when we have a baby?

Any suggestions as to how I can get this fellow to see that I want
nothing more than to love him and pet him would be greatly appreciated.
I have no idea what to do, I've never had an animal not love me - ever!

Thanks!

Best, Amy

Got a water bottle or squirt gun when he gets aggressive give him a good
blast of water. Cats hate surprises you want to get his attention can of
compressed air good blast of cold air stops a cat in their tracks. This
sounds bad but he is considering you a invader and is jealous. Carrying the
broom around is inviting trouble with him it makes him feel as if you are on
the attack. Where is husband when he does this if he is around grab him and
make him deal with it since he is daddy. You have to deal with the behavior
as it happens just like a child
http://www.fanciers.com/cat-faqs/behavior.shtml

Make sure you are the only one feeding him give him treats or anything
special. I am assuming there is no medical problems with him. If this
does not work you may have to go to a animal behaviorist to deal with the
aggression it almost sounds like Daddy spoiled the brat let him get away
with anything now step mom has to deal with a brat.

Second that what would happen with a baby nonsense take it and throw it out
the door that is nonsense new mothers come up with any idea they can to get
rid of a cat when they have a child

No More Retail wrote:
Got a water bottle or squirt gun when he
gets aggressive give him a good blast of
water. Cats hate surprises you want to get
his attention can of compressed air good
blast of cold air stops a cat in their tracks. *

Please don't give advice unless you actually know wtf you're talking
about. The action involved in blasting this poor cat with water or air
is an *aggressive* move on the human's part and does absolutely NOTHING
to promote a good relationship. Aggression met with aggression results
in more of the same.

This sounds bad but he is considering
you a invader and is jealous. Carrying the
broom around is inviting trouble with him
it makes him feel as if you are on the
attack.

Which is exactly what blasting an aggressive, frightened cat with
water/air will do.

To the OP:

It sounds like you are trying very hard to work this out. The move
coupled with the addition of more cats has put a lot of stress on this
poor kitty. At this point, especially since the cat is exhibiting an
extreme reaction and has become a danger to you, your best option would
be to talk to your vetabout drug therapy. This doesn't by any means have
to be permanent, and is mostly used as a tool to re-shape the behavior
of the cat.

From my experience, I would recommend Clomicalm, which is an excellent
medication used specifically to treat aggression and anxiety. I have
seen it work wonders with a cat that *was* very cat aggressive, and
extremely resistant to the standard methods for successful introductions
and developing good relationships. He is now peacefully living with his
former "victim" and the vicious attacks are no more.

The standard way to use such a medication is to start the cat on it and
wait until the drug has reached it's full effect, which can take several
weeks with this type of medication. In that time you should see the
aggressive behavior diminish or even disappear. Make sure to keep an eye
on the amount the cat gets so only the behavior stops and the cat isn't
in a constant state of sedation. You then keep the animal on the
medication for at least a few months while creating a new routine of
interaction and behavior.

Once the cat has been consistent in his actions and reactions for quite
a period of time (in effect retrained) you can then S-L-O-W-L-Y start
weaning him off the meds, cutting back a small amount each week. In most
cases cats can be completely taken off the drug at some point, but there
are those cats that may need to remain on the medication for the long
term. The cat I'm working with right now has been on Clomicalm for
several months and is now on about 1/2 of his initial dose and is doing
quite well, so I expect that down the road his guardian may very well be
able to take him off of it completely.

Megan



Megan



"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."

-Edmund Burke

Learn The TRUTH About Declawing
http://www.stopdeclaw.com

Zuzu's Cats Photo Album:
http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one
elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and
splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and
material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his
way."

- W.H. Murray

I gave you a detailed answer in another reply I wrote, but I wanted to
address this specifically:

It has gotten to the point where I can't go
out on the porch (where he lives) without
a broom for protection (which I wave
menacingly at him when he starts up with
the aggressive stance, I would never hit
him or anything).

But he doesn't know that. When you wave the broom at him "menacingly"
you them (to him) immediately become a threat. Maybe a better option
would be to keep a large pillow handy that you can grab and simply put
between you if he comes after you. I know it's hard, but try to keep in
mind that this cat truly has nothing against you personally, and is
reacting to circumstances. Try to be genle and positive with him at all
times, regardless of his behavior.

Today I thought maybe I'd sit on the
porch and invite him to sit on the chair
with me while I read. He was up and
down on the chair, seemingly nice, then
bit me on the back of the hand totally
unprovoked (I wasn't even petting him,
just sitting still). He grabbed the thin skin
of my hand and twisted it, leaving a ring
of teeth marks and one deep puncture.

Well, the good news is that you did indeed have a bit of positive
interactiion with this cat, so there IS hope! As I stated in my other
reply, this cat is obviously stressed and you are seeing behavior
typical of this. You say he lives on the porch? Was this because of his
aggression? I realize it is a safety issue, but if he is isolated on the
porch, this is just exacerbating the problem. He has now lost his home,
his relationship with his human, and has to concede territory to two
other cats. Can you give a little more detail about exactly what his
previous living situation was and what changes happened?

Megan



"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."

-Edmund Burke

Learn The TRUTH About Declawing
http://www.stopdeclaw.com

Zuzu's Cats Photo Album:
http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one
elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and
splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and
material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his
way."

- W.H. Murray

Sorry you disagree Megan but that seems to happen alot when it comes to you
and me.
You get an aggressive cat advancing on you that has caused damage before to
you. A blast of water or compressed air stops them from attacking or would
you rather have them broom used to stop the cat. A blast of water of the
use of the air is a defensive move that to be used when the cat is
aggressively advancing as she described not an attack.

"Since cats hate to be surprised, you can use waterbottles, clapping,
hissing, and other sudden noises to stop unwanted behavior"
http://www.fanciers.com/cat-faqs/behavior.shtml but I guess they have it
wrong and they are experts.

Second a drug therapy should be a last resort, considering cats tend to be
more sensitive to tricyclic antidepressant drugs An animal behaviorist
would be the way to go since he has exhibited aggression in the past before


And You may not like it Megan but there are others that know WTF is going
on. You are not the only one with experice with cats neither of us are
experts we are both going by experiences

What type of containers is he chewing thru Diane? I got a couple of passive
ways to stop them from doing it

I have a cat that does this he loves cheetos. When we get a bag we store it
in a large stand up Tupperware container. Well if we don't put it a locked
cabinet by next morning you can guess what happens.

We do 2 things to keep the cats out of the cabinets beside adding child
proof locks on them. I take eupltiptus ( no sure if that is spelled right )
leaves dried and put them in the cupboard or use it in a oil from the leaves
spray it on the inside cabinet door cabinet doors it dries clear . They try
to pull the door open or stick there nose in it they hate the smell. plus
it keeps bugs and fleas out of the kitchen

They leaves can make the cat sick if they are well not intelligent enough
to eat something that does not smell good. I use a small wood match stick
box with holes in it.

If the cat get used to the smell I use Tabasco oil as a spray. I hate to
have to use the cat repellent spray that you can get at the pet store. I
use it in on place in the house my workshop to many dangerous tools and
areas for a cat.

But you have to be careful that they never do get a chance to eat it the
plant is poisonous to them but they can't stand the smell so they should not
even try

No More Retail wrote:
Sorry you disagree Megan but that seems
to happen alot when it comes to you and
me.

Gee, I wonder why...

You get an aggressive cat advancing on
you that has caused damage before to
you. A blast of water or compressed air
stops them from attacking or would you
rather have them broom used to stop the
cat.

Common sense would dictate you get out of the way/remove yourself from
the situation or don't put yourself in it in the first place since you
already are aware of the cat's aggressive behavior.

A blast of water of the use of the
air is a defensive move that to be used
when the cat is aggressively advancing
as she described not an attack.

If the ct is only "dvancing" there is no need to defend oneself and the
OP can leave the room.
And acting defensively in the form of blasting/squirting/ waving a broom
will increase the likelihood of an aggressive response. I already
described how simply using a large pillow and blocking an attack is more
effective than blasting/squirting or coming at the cat with a broom is.
Aggression is met with aggression and there is absolutely NO NEED in
this situation to provoke this cat and stress it out more.

"Since cats hate to be surprised, you
can use waterbottles, clapping, hissing,
and other sudden noises to stop unwanted
behavior"
http://www.fanciers.com/cat-faqs/behavio
r.shtml but I guess they have it wrong
and they are experts.

You realize that was written in 1991 and only updated through '97, no? A
lot of progress has been made in the field of cat behavior and, besides,
this does not address aggression. The quote you provide concerns
annoying (unwanted) behaviors, not responding to aggression, which is
entirely different. And the idea of squirt bottles as an effective
behavior modification tool is archaeic and ineffective:

http://www.littlebigcat.com/index.ph...ndcatbehavior1

Second a drug therapy should be a last
resort, considering cats tend to be more
sensitive to tricyclic antidepressant
drugs

And you have a cite for this claim, yes?

An animal behaviorist would be the
way to go since he has exhibited
aggression in the past before

And I guarantee you that the first thin the behaviorist will do,
consideing the fact that this cat is a DANGER, is to put it on
meiaction. Since the OP is in physical danger most of the time, it is
the time of last resort. You also conveniently ignored the part where I
said this is generally a temporary tool used as part of behavior
modification and in most cases the cat can be weaned off the drug. I
don't recommend drug therapy at the drop of a hat and reserve suggesting
it for specific cases where there aren't really other effective options.
This is one of them, and AFAIC if a few months of drug therapy can have
a good chance in resulting in a lifetime of happiness for cat and
guardian I'm all for it.

**And You may not like it Megan but
there are others that know WTF is going
on.

In this situation, you are not one of them. Your "advice" will only
serve to further damage an already stressed and tenous relationship.

Megan



"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do
nothing."

-Edmund Burke

Learn The TRUTH About Declawing
http://www.stopdeclaw.com

Zuzu's Cats Photo Album:
http://www.PictureTrail.com/zuzu22

"Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one
elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and
splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then
providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision,
raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and
material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his
way."

- W.H. Murray

Megan You win
I am not arguing any more with you
You gave the right answer! The only correct answer that there can be!
I will leave it as that
No sense arguing with you. You are always going to be right.