Help with nervous cat?

Paul wrote:
Hi all,
I have a 1 year old neutered tom cat, and had him since 2months old.
I've always tried to play with him since i got him, and i speak to him all
the time, but despite this, he's still nervous, doesn't like to be picked
up or stroked most of the time etc.
at night, he will come and sleep with me though, which he seems to love.

are there any ways to help him relax? often there's only myself in the
flat, and my girlfriend comes at weekends, so it's not a hectic
environment.he has toys and likes playing with us sometimes (he runs after
me if i run from one room to another). i'm just worried that he's not
happy.

one more thing, he's an indoor cat - would letting him out help at all?

thanks for reading!

You already have some good advice here, but I wanted to add that trying
something like Rescue Remedy could be of help. You get it at a health
food store and add a few drops to the water. (it's herbs, not harmful
and people can use it too).

I also echo the NO in letting him out.

Rene